#buck rant

This might be a common rant or maybe I'm just stupid and love Buck too much to think of him as selfish. But I've been re-watching the show from the start and I have noticed a common theme of people saying that Buck makes their problems about him. I know that Eddie says it the most but I have seen Bobby and Chimney get mad at Buck for "making it all about him".

To say I disagree doesn't do it service. Buck does so much for other people when they are struggling. He goes over and hangs out with Christopher so that Eddie can go back on dates or calls Eddie out when he is doing something stupid and hurtful to the woman in his life. Helped Bobby when he had fallen off the wagon and never once brought it up even when they were fighting. He has went out on limbs and done things that could've cost him his job and life as a firefighter just to protect those around him. The man has done countless things to help those around him and very few times has he brought attention to it.

Also maybe it's just cause I can relate to Buck's trauma but he has abandonment issues along with attachment and coping problems. The few times he has acted out it was because he was afraid he was losing the one family he made that Buck could count on. He spent years couch hopping and meeting strangers and creating these beautiful temporary families with them. But the 118 gave him a permanent place with people who not only accepted his accomplishments but also his mistakes. They all gave him a space to be fully himself without any judgment. With his parents he only got their attention when he was hurt or acted out but Bobby helped show Buck that care didn't have to come from negativity.

I know Buck made mistakes (like with the lawsuit or sabotaging Eddie's open house), but he didn't do them because he was making the situation about him. He did because the home he loves and the people he loves felt like they were being taken from him. I can imagine how unfair and hard that would be to just accept after going through years of searching for somewhere to fit in and actually belong. I would fight to keep it too. Buck didn't do any of those things out of selfishness but fear. He remembers what its like to be alone and not have anyone care about you unless you're in the hospital. He was afraid that even allowing the smallest distance would cause the people he loves to start to leave him.

He even asks repeatedly throughout the show what would happen if they split up. They all say they would keep in touch but Buck has seen how hard it is to stay in contact with someone who has a different schedule and life away from yours. Afterall he doesn't seem to keep in much contact with anyone from his past besides Connor. But even then we haven’t even heard about him in awhile. Buck doesn't want that to happen with the 118 because of how important its become to him.