*monkey's paw curls one finger*

This is the first time in US history that there’s decent evidence of a current president sucking a former president’s dick

To recap: In one of Jeffrey Epstein's leaked emails, he tells his brother Mark, "Ask him if Putin has the photos of Trump blowing Bubba?"

Of course, everyone is trying to figure out exactly which Bubba received a knob slobber from Donnie T. Most initially posed that it could be Bill Clinton, who was called Bubba for decades.

But, Mark Epstein recently told The Advocate that the Bubba mentioned in the email is not Clinton. He would not, however, clarify who it was.

So now, speculation has turned to two other Bubbas. The first being C.R. "Bubba" Saulsbury, son of Texas oil magnate Charles Saulsbury Sr. and sizeable Trump campaign donor. Trump's been metaphorically sucking off this whole family for years, so maybe he did it literally, too. I mean, he looks like a guy Trump might want to please, right?

OK, here's where it gets so amazing. The second Bubba in close proximity to both Trump and Epstein was...

oh, my fucking god, people, brace yourselves...

Ghislaine Maxwell's horse.

[This is not the actual Bubba, but it's making the same expression the real Bubba may have made when Trump was going to horsey town.]

To be clear, Mark Epstein (through a spokesperson) denied the Bubba mentioned in the email was Maxwell's horse. And as wonderful as it would be for the MAGA cult to learn their orange pedo jesus blew a pony, it's likely not true. Still, at this point, I don't believe anything coming from the Epstein Family or Maxwell's reps.

And as for Trump, his team is doing the absolute shoddiest damage control.

Happy new year!