The Spring After Winter- (Jungkook FF)
Chapter 2-
“Wanting to be kissed”
The music was numbing my ears, generic mumble rapping. Nothing rich with lyrical talent, it was all the same but I suppose when you're drinking what we were, it didn't matter. This event would be on the list of the top 3 most shameful acts I've ever committed, it would be if it met the criteria. I didn't choose to commit the act.
Jeremiah and I used to not be so filthy with each other, things used to be sweet and innocent. I met him in our 7th grade Home Ed class, and in true cheesy rom com fashion, whilst baking cookies. He was so quiet and I suppose that is what drew me to him. I was always the girl who wanted to become friends with everyone, I suppose that's what drew him to me. Summer came and so did the following fall, my breasts had grown and he got exponentially taller. We both hadn't noticed these changes in each other's appearance, if we did we chose not to mention it. We still were friends, who really enjoyed each other's company.
Jeremiah was failing math 8th grade year and lucky for him I was top of my class. He had invited me to the library after school to help him with some assignments he didn't quite understand. For the first time in my life I felt nervous to hangout with him, almost like my view of him shifted from my best friend to just a boy. I sprayed a little more perfume than normal, curled my hair tighter, and wore the prettiest bow in my collection. I wanted him to see me more than what we were, I wanted to be a mature girl for him, I wanted him to notice my breasts.
I had my mom drop me off at the library doors directly after school. Stepping out of the car and smelling something so sickly sweet in the air, maybe it was the cupcake I had bought us from the bakery across the road, or maybe it was just us.
He was wearing a black hoodie and sweats, carrying his worn down skateboard in his left hand. His backpack just barely swung over his shoulder. He looked more of a man now, more than he ever has.
We sat down at the glossed wooden desks in the corner of the library away from anyone in sight, the papers we had brung strung in front of us. We truly didn't do any work that afternoon, we talked about movies, video games, and new music. We bathed in each other's company and we were more than content with that.
“Can I tell you something?” He suddenly stopped and looked at me, his whole demeanor changed and it made my heart beat change pace. “Uh yeah what's up?” embarrassingly enough it sounded like that last syllable was caught in my throat. The air's scent changed from sweet to sugar, my eyes were locked on him and only him.
“You know, I was thinking of kissing you earlier but I didn't want to freak you out” He gushed out of him like he was holding it in forever and it no longer could be contained. I think back on this and laugh, I had taken this as an insult. My cheeks were on fire and my eyebrows furrowed, “Well, why don't you?”. I was so upset he hadn't kissed me, my mind was racing on all the ways I maybe had given off the signal of not wanting to be kissed. I was practically stomping my feet eternally bashing myself for being so utterly stupid. Before I could acknowledge anything else he had his hand under my chin, and his lips on mine.
We stopped seeing each other as kids, ever since that point at least. I look around at the alcohol bottles and empty pipes with burnt ashes and think, how much can change in two years?
His body was laying on the ground, that’s really all I could see from the vodka blur in my vision. I was stumbling over, not even being able to completely hold myself up, he grabs my hand pulling me down to straddle his waist. I noticed in the haze his friends crowding around watching and pointing as he grabs my waist and forcefully grinds me against his crotch. The alcohol made me loose in his touch, I was at mercy to his evil subconscious.
I feel his lower half poking me provocatively making me snap back to reality and process what is happening around me. I felt no longer human. I had trusted these boys and they made me feel like a porn star for them to watch at their leisure. I look at him and wonder, why aren't we at the library?
