#bt writs

“Mahito,” Satoru says warily, though he doesn’t try to remove his hand from his arm and Suguru can see the fear in his eyes.

“Get your hands off him,” Suguru says, reaching for Mahito’s wrist in turn and squeezing until he lets go of Satoru.

“You have quite the ape on your side it seems,” Mahito drawls out, roaming his eyes up and down Suguru’s frame and he feels dirty for it. “Why don’t you stay with me for a while, Satoru, I am much better company, as I am sure you remember.”

“No,” Satoru get out, and even though it’s quiet his voice is steady.

Suguru still has no real clue who this guy is or what’s going on but it’s clear that they have history and going by the surprise in Mahito’s eyes, he’s not quite used to Satoru telling him no. Suguru is immensely proud of him for that.

“Satoru,” Mahito warningly says and Satoru flinches back at that once more. “Come with me.”

His voice demands to be obeyed and there’s a split second where it seems Satoru moves without his conscious thought but then he steps closer to Suguru, hides behind his back and he says it again.

“No.”

Mahito’s eyes narrow in a way that makes Suguru shift his weight subtly in case the guy darts forward to attack and the motion must have been enough to bring his attention back to Suguru because his mismatched eyes fall on Suguru once more.

His gaze speaks of danger and it’s enough make a shudder run down Suguru’s back but it’s certainly not enough to make him cower in front of this guy.

Not when Satoru is this scared already.

“Ah, is this your latest boy-toy?” Mahito drawls out, addressing Satoru again. “He looks so boring.”

“Let’s go home,” Satoru repeats again and something cruel passes over Mahito’s face as he hears it.

“You don’t want to do that, Satoru. Walk away from me now and who can tell what will happen. Word of what you did back in the day might even reach your boy-toy and then what will he think of you? What will you do if he leaves you all alone after learning what you’ve done.”

Mahito’s voice makes Suguru sick to his stomach and it seems Satoru is not fairing much better because he’s pale and shaking and Mahito’s words are clearly getting under his skin.

“Shut up!” Satoru yells out, clearly scared out of his mind but it only makes Mahito laugh.

“You just need to come with me,” Mahito tells him again. “We had such a good time together, don’t you remember?”

“Oh, I remember,” Satoru spits out and Suguru needs to get them out of Mahito’s presence right this moment because Satoru looks as if he’s about to throw up.

“Wonderful,” Mahito claps his hands together as if those are the greatest news he ever received. “Then let’s go back together. I’m sure there are so many people who’d love to see you again!”

Suguru doesn’t think. He feels Satoru flinch again and it’s as if his body is moving on it’s one. He practically watches how his arm flies out, hand curled into a fist and in the next moment it connects with Mahito’s face.

Mahito crumbles like a puppet with its strings cut and some people around them stumble back when they realise what just happened.

“Suguru,” Satoru yells out and pulls him back. “We need to leave, come on, we have to go!”

He’s yanking on Suguru’s arm and even though Suguru would love to do nothing more than to wait for Mahito to pick himself up again so he can beat him down again, he reluctantly follows Satoru as he drags him out of the house.

“You think someone saw?” Satoru mutters once they are outside and Suguru huffs out a laugh.

“A lot of people saw. Question is if any of them care.”

“Right, right,” Satoru gives back and then falls silent.

He stays that way all the way back to their apartment and Suguru decides against pressing for now. It’s clear that meeting Mahito was not a good thing and Satoru seems more than rattled right now. Suguru doesn’t want to make matters worse by asking questions out in public, so he’ll wait until they are in the privacy of their own home.

“Come to the bathroom, we have to treat your hand,” is the first thing Satoru says after the door is closed behind them and Suguru looks down at his hand.

He didn’t even realise he split the skin open with his punch but he dutifully follows Satoru.

“Satoru, are you okay?” he asks him once he’s seated on the toilet, Satoru kneeling in front of him and he immediately bites his tongue when Satoru flinches.

“I should be asking you that, you’re the one who’s bleeding,” he still gives back and even smiles at Suguru but Suguru knows him well enough to see the strain behind it.

“Satoru,” Suguru mutters and reaches out with his uninjured hand to cup Satoru’s cheek in it. “Are you alright?”

There’s a beat of silence before Satoru chokes out a “No”.

It’s not a surprise, not with how shaken up he still seems and so Suguru simply nods.

“Are you—not going to ask?” Satoru haltingly asks once he deems Suguru’s hand treated enough for now and Suguru hums in thought.

“It came as a surprise to you to see him,” he states and even though it’s not a question, Satoru still nods. “And you don’t want to see him again.”

“Never,” Satoru spits out and even though there’s anger blazing in his eyes now, his hands are still shaking with fear.

“Okay,” Suguru simply says and Satoru stares at him as if he grew a second head.

“Yeah, right,” he then says, disbelief colouring his voice and Suguru sighs.

“Satoru, you could have murdered someone and I wouldn’t care. It doesn’t matter to me.”

Satoru laughs hysterically and it sets Suguru on edge. He wishes he could ease whatever it is right now that’s plaguing Satoru but he doesn’t know how to.

“It’s so much more degrading than that,” Satoru whispers and there’s a crazy look in his eyes. “And if I tell you then you’ll ask for the why and when I tell you about that—you won’t get it, you’ll think I’m such a spoiled, stupid brat who doesn’t even appreciate what he has and then there’ll be that and the disgust of what I have done, what was done to me and then you’ll leave me!”

Satoru’s voice cracks over the last words and Suguru’s heart splits clean in two when tears fall down Satoru’s cheeks.

It seems he has already decided on what will happen in their future, but Suguru is not going to accept that vision, because there is no way in any universe where he’s going to leave Satoru.

“Satoru,” he says, his voice strong and steady and Satoru’s eyes immediately snap to his as if he doesn’t have another choice.

Suguru doesn’t know what happened to Satoru—though with what he just said there’s a sickening suspicion forming in his mind and even though Suguru would love to reject that completely it would explain why Satoru sometimes gets so peculiar about anything physical between them—and in all honesty he knows so little about his past that it should probably bother him, but Satoru never talked about it and even when Suguru pressed he skirted around the questions with meaningless non-answers and eventually Suguru got the hint. He stopped asking and Satoru started relaxing.

And no matter what it is that Satoru did, that was done to him, Suguru doesn’t care.

“Whatever you did, whatever you had to do, it all led you to me, so I don’t care. If it means you found your way to me then I don’t care. You’re here, now, and that’s all that matters to me.”

Satoru blinks at him, clearly taken aback by what Suguru just said and Suguru thinks he might have fucked up when Satoru’s tears flow even more freely.

“How can you even say that?” Satoru sobs out eventually and Suguru pulls him into a hug.

“Because I love you.”

And really, it’s as easy as that for him. He loves Satoru and whatever it is that happened in his past and with Mahito, it’s clearly upsetting to Satoru, so Suguru is not going to judge him for any of it should Satoru ever want to tell him.

“Do you want us to move?” Suguru asks once Satoru’s sobs have died down a little bit and he curses himself when that sets Satoru off once more.

“You would just do that?” he cries out and Suguru shrugs.

“Satoru, you’re my everything. If you think you’re not safe here anymore, if you’re going to be afraid after meeting Mahito in this city, then we’ll move, no questions asked.”

“How can you still be like this when I’m keeping so much from you?” Satoru wants to know and he sounds exhausted down to the bone, so Suguru makes the executive decision to move them to the bed.

Satoru is still in his arms, awkwardly perched on his lap, but that makes it easy to simply tighten his arms around him and standing up, much to Satoru’s surprise it seems because his squeak nearly makes Suguru go deaf.

“What are you doing?”

“Going to bed,” Suguru tells him. “I’m exhausted and you’re no better.”

Satoru doesn’t argue with him which lets Suguru know just how tired Satoru really is and in a matter of minutes they are safely cocooned in their blanket.

“It doesn’t matter to me how much you keep from me,” Suguru says, once Satoru is curled into his arms. “I just know that today was upsetting to you and I’m trying to figure out how to make it better.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Satoru whispers and Suguru growls at that.

“You deserve everything,” he fiercely says and is not surprised when he feels new tears soak his shirt.

“That’s not true,” Satoru mutters, “you’ll see. I’m going to—I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

Suguru thinks that he should probably agree enthusiastically to that but seeing Satoru this distressed today really puts a damper on things.

“Only if you want to,” he mutters and kisses the top of Satoru’s head. “Only if you feel ready.”

“I’ll never feel ready,” Satoru admits and leans back to properly look at Suguru. “But you said it wouldn’t matter to you, no matter what, and I—I trust you more than I am afraid,” he goes on and Suguru loves him so much it feels as if he’s drowning in it.

“I love you,” he breathes out and when Satoru leans in for a kiss he doesn’t even mind that it tastes salty.

“I love you,” Satoru replies when they part and there’s a new resolve in his eyes.

Suguru will not let whatever it is that Satoru will tell him tomorrow change anything but he definitely knows one thing: he’ll be immensely proud of Satoru for facing whatever it is that haunts him.

And once everything is said and done, Suguru will make sure to remind Satoru that he still loves him—always will—and then they’ll figure out their future.