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Principles underlying Nonviolent Communication by Erik Torenberg & Power Up Your Team with Nonviolent Communication Principles by First Round Review

The act of violence, contrary to popular belief, does not only manifest in physical actions. Violence can also manifest in our daily communications with one another. Poorly chosen words or problematic vocal tones can bring forth uncomfortable conflict and can hurt others. To combat this it is best to practice Nonviolent communication (NVC).

Nonviolent communication (NVC) can be described as the way in which we express ourselves to others in a respectful manner. It puts specific focus on empathy and “how we communicate and connect with ourselves”. In relation to ourselves, our violent communicative tendencies can ultimately be seen as a result of unmet needs and low self esteem. In response to these unmet needs people often resort to using labels when communicating. Labels such as good, bad, right, wrong and so on and so forth can be damaging and can create a hostile work environment. 

How to Escape the Dreaded Drama Triangle by Remy Blumenfeld

This readings’ explanation of what the drama triangle is and how it functions is clear and coherent. The roles that are situated in the drama triangle were also communicated well. These roles include; the victim, the persecutor and the rescuer. Human beings in modern society all fall into one of these categories when responding to situations. These roles are however in constant motion and can change depending on the environment and situation. Important aspects of these three characteristic should be noted when participating in The Drama Triangle. When one portrays the role of the rescuer the fulfillment or relief that is felt is only temporary. The rescuer will also often overexert themselves as a result of trying to assist others and overachieve in their own sections. The victim will often feel powerless in work situations and is frequently associated with having low self esteem. The relationship between the rescuer and the victim is complicated as the rescuer will want to help the victim, which they allow, but this assistance results in further weakening the victims power. The persecutor is a difficult characteristic as they are not very well liked and have the negative trait of blaming others. This ultimately is detrimental to both the production of the office as well as the individuals own personal growth.

Reflection on reading What gets in the way of listening  by Amy Jen Su and Muriel Maignan Wilkins

This article has taught me many useful skills about the art of listening. Often with abilities such as listening, one does not think it is something to be improved upon once you initially learn how to do it. However, this reading has shown that is is an ever expanding skill that requires continuous reflection and practice. 

After reading this article I have become aware of many malpractices within the context of listening that I myself am guilty of. I’ve learnt that in order to fully understand those around you, you must first learn how to understand yourself. If you are perfectly comfortable with who you are, you’re better able to participate in listening actively without letting personal anxieties cloud your mind. 

Upon looking at my results for the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, I found that in most situations, I tend to lean toward joint problem solving. Though I understand that my decisions to handle conflict in any particular way depends mostly on the situation, I did not really notice that I also tend to avoid things quite a bit. I believe that the reason for this could be that I did not see this as avoiding the resolution of conflict, but rather as a way to prevent conflict. Perhaps I am not too confident in the way I converse within these circumstances; I fear that addressing the matter in the moment might be too dangerous.