Feb 16, 2020
if a girl ever brought me flowers..... oh god I'd melt
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if a girl ever brought me flowers..... oh god I'd melt
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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doom days makes me want to drive off into the sunset on the outskirts of a desert city and write novels and poems and draw hundreds of art pieces in some dusty motel and I'll flirt with the cute girls at the diner and bring them home at night
farm cats!!!!!! are so cute!!!!! give me farm cats lazily sunning themselves on fences and spending their nights on the prowl in the barn. give me happy little chirps as they follow behind you in your work and vie for pets.
wan' me a gf who will gush abt poetry with me. that Vibe tho??? don't u just wanna melt??
got a girl's number the other day only to find out a few minutes later she's actually 8 years older than me ahhhhhhhh dammit
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
*me, hitting play on the 30th Minecraft letsplay series* self care
death is weird for me. like. I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of dying. I'm afraid of pain, and the process of dying is most often painful.
but death? what comes after? I can't really be afraid. no one knows what the answer is. if there's something after, an afterlife, whether it's heaven or hell, I guess I'll find out.
but if there's nothing, then I won't exist to have an opinion about it. and for me... that's really comforting.
I find it so wild that I've had more turmoil coming to terms with my asexuality than I did with my homosexuality. to be fair, my moms are lesbians so my coming out story was more funny than anything and, thank god, I never had trouble in school. I'm a lesbian and I'm happy to be one.
but when it comes to my asexuality, I've spent all these years going back and forth constantly asking myself if my feelings are real, if they are what I think they are, if there's some other explanation, if I want some other explanation, especially since there really is no set definition for what an asexual feels.
sure, I've felt a desire to have sex, but it was always in general. I've never had a specific urge to go with someone in particular. and when I do have these feelings, it's extremely short-lived. I entertained a fantasy of my girlfriend in the past but since we were long-distance, it was all hypothetical. sometimes I can think about being in that situation with someone, and sometimes it seems desirable, but other times I just get an overwhelming sense of stress and anxiety.
I usually have some reasoning, though. I worry about not enjoying reciprocating the actions. I worry about smelling bad, or looking bad, or seeming gross. I worry about being too awkward and detached, or being too focused on getting it done "correctly."
I mean, hell yeah I want to experience this incredible feeling like people say, but how much of it is real, and how much of it is embellished? I'm fully aware fanfictions are not reflections of reality.
I also have zero experience, I've only been physically intimate (non-sexually) with a girlfriend a few times. could these feelings suddenly change when it happens? maybe. it's all so many "maybe"s.
I'm grateful every day for the easy time I had in my community as a lesbian. I hear stories of other women's time in the closet or bad experiences with ignorant or malicious people... I've heard stories of not understanding their feelings and stuffing them down and putting themselves through uncomfortable situations and coming out with guilt on both sides. I think about those sisters almost every day. someday you'll be in a better place. someday, I'll figure myself out too.