#brujama

"Last night took an L, but tonight I bounced back 💪🏽" - walking into unfamiliar territory chanting a Big Sean Mantra. Because I identify closely with people who remind themselves how close to rock bottom they've been. They call it "humble" I call it life. I've seen a lot. Lost a lot more and realized that nothing ever "matters", unless we attach sentiments to it. There have been a lot of times I've allowed nostalgia to paralyze me. Afraid to venture out a little further because what if the turn out is like the past? Frequency Fear is meant to disarm and paralyze you. But the process is already in motion. The stalling won't stop you. The wishing won't will you. That all comes from faith and remember that through everything you've already seen- it doesn't come close to all the shit that's out there to witness. God got you, release the control. | varsity by: @thelbbrand #ErynAmelism #BrujaMA #RetrogradeResiduals

Okay! so true story, right? I first came out when I was 12. I sat next to my mother as we watched the oscars... Billy Bob Thornton had just deeply kissed the woman I had just mentally proclaimed as my "girlfriend" and I felt HOT and JEALOUS. I turned to my mother and said "ma, I think I'm gay." And she gave me a look and her response stunned me into silence. I later retracted my declaration for another 6 years.. however looking back on it what my mother was trying to shield me from was having to explain my new found glory to other people. There were still misconceptions that same sex relationships relied heavily on sex, and to be honest- I wasn't even considering sex at that age. So when I came out, I was in a new school running for Homecoming Queen alongside the young woman I would go on to lose the home coming crown to/ then date/follow to college/and almost marry for 3 years. So now that I'm this mom thing, you'd think 💭I have my identity figured out.. "adult usually do" but what I found myself dealing with was shame of my Queer-dom, afraid to date who I like because of who would mention it. I'm shedding new layers in my Motherhood. Acknowledging my blackness, my queerness and the fact that none of this has changed since I've given birth. Just being at peace with the love that has always flown from my heart. So when I saw this bikini from target.. I bought it with the intention of showing my #mombod some pride and glory as I take great steps in acknowledging a part of me that I could never lose. #Effyourbeautystandards #IBelieveInLove #AlwaysAcceptingAllies #MomBodAppreciationPost #BrujaMa #erynamelism #ImNotACoolMomImAQUEERMom

I can't stop moving. I am always looking to do more, be better and not ambulance chance after short blessings. I want longevity. I want stability. I want results. I'm sacrificial and it shows in my work ethic. Today I am resting. Emails are on hold. I haven't had any coffee just water and a hot shower some sun and #moonmatter like the literal kind, me in freeform. Today I am taking a break from it all because I can't allow it to break me. #honestmotherhood #bodybysirius #brujama #mombodappreciationpost

Moon Matter Has been released and my book signing was an absolute hit. I was able to connect with the social media family I've made a home in. I shared a stage with my mother and I read from my own book, my own words and I cried in front of a group of men and women-- and I wasn't judged for it. Every single adversity I could face before this event presented itself and I still decided that it needed to happen. #MoonMatter Needed to be written and it needed not just to minister to me. I want to send a public thank you to @mompreneurs_rock For the space to be myself. And I want I thank every person in attendance yesterday.. I never imagined a room full of people would care about anything I have to say- or even put much energy into connecting with me offline. But I took a giant leap into faith and I came out with my purpose vindicated. 👑👑👑👑👑👑👑 Moon Matter is live and available for order via the link in my bio. Not only is it a book of poetry and prose, it also houses a lot of intimate self portraits and muse work of mine for the last 10 years. The transition of mine has been one for the books, literally and you can unfold with me there. 📸by my bestie since forever @ms_eva_roe Moon 🌙Matter : erynamelshopee.bigcartel.com #blackgirlmagic #WOCwriters #BrujaMa (at Atlanta, Georgia)

👑 Great Rising! Headed to Brooklyn to shoot with @imanijahaanvintage this morning.(so if you see a sister- speak to a sister!) Money spells and juju tucked in my bra. Send me travel vibes, and a warm water bottle because cramps don't stop the hustle. Check in on my instastory to watch BTS of my NYC day trip. #MomPrenuerDiaries #BrujaMa : 💅🏼 nails bombed by @toutestbombe, of course. 💅🏼 (at MegaBus at 30th Street Station)

This little light just has the sweetest soul. I'm not just saying that because I'm his mother, although I'm biased, check out that super cute smile in the back. His charisma not only gets him free 🥞 from the Waffle House- but it changes lives even if only for a second. With a wave- a tongue flash- a smile where his eyes hide behind his cheeks the innocence in his energy is infectious. This little light of mine, I get to share with the world. Not everyone will see how big of a deal that is. But it's Sirius. It's so Sirius. #BlackBoyJoy #HonestMotherhood #BrujaMa (at Waffle House)

It started off as a dare- to see how open I can be without compromising the integrity of my privacy. I tested my boundaries daily. Pushing a bit more each day to grow comfortable sharing myself on such a platform. My good days- the not so pretty moments- are all apart of my truth. I dared myself to tell more of it. To stop answering people with inconsistencies and really tell them what's on my mind. Even if it looked like, struggle or frustration. I enjoy being alone. Although I cannot stress enough how I'll never get use to feeling loneliness in my solitude. Most of that is because I believe it's "unhealthy" to desire silence the way that I do. My phone stays on silent. My text remain unanswered. My mental health remains still even when I feel full of energy. I give honor to my art. Which is a big part of me the internet doesn't see. See I believe in vulnerability and transparency but I can't give everything away. My secret weapons, stay that. My spell work stays secret. Boundaries are on the agenda for 2017. Telling myself "no" because telling other folks no seems to be a never ending problem. Reminding people that this is just social media, and who I am here is an extension of the amazing woman I am offline. Boundaries, are not the same as limitations. Pace is not the same as passive. Self preservation is not the same as ego. | I am not the same woman I thought I'd grow up to be. I couldn't see me at 26, or a Mother, a business owner. All I've ever seen as a safe space is my solitude. 2017, calls for more of it. #HonestWomanhood #BrujaMa get to know the woman behind the responsibility here: www.erynamel.com