Give me a fic where Bruce is depressed over his last breakup (God knows which one) and Catwoman tries to uplift him by...setting him up on blind dates.
And of course most of the dates are his nemesis, he has a type after all.
They have hints that Cat somehow managed to set them up with Batman, even though he has a different voice modifier on and a wall with a small hole separates them, mostly the fact that Cat made a couple of bat related jokes.
Harley noticed immediately and laughed her ass off as a very robotic voice was scandalized about her cheating on Ivy for the date (she came as a joke though), and she simply gave him dating tips, it ended as a relationship trauma dump for both of them.
Selina inserts herself into the second date, Bruce asks her wtf she's doing, and she responds with "oh, Bane ditched, so I'm filling in-" and Batman loses it, because what do you mean you tried to bring in Bane Selina stop laughing, he broke my back and not like that-
Twoface doesn't realize it's Batman, but Harvey does realize it's Bruce after they talk about values, he's delighted to be talking to his ex friend, and really so is Bruce, they set a second date (Bruce is happy they got to talk after being no contact for a long while and promises to visit him in Arkham more often- Harvey is looking for wedding rings)
Killer Croc is ridiculously alright as a date, he brings flowers which is a bonus, and Bruce can see through a small hole that he has a bowtie on. They end up settling on talking about animal facts (and Bruce has been dying to share Damian's). Catwoman tells them they should adopt Manbat and have an animal themed family, (Bruce rolls his eyes BC well, Batfamily, but Waylon seems enthusiastic about it. They set a second date, because why not, and Batman explains that Manbat is a full grown man so not adopting material)
He really wanted to hate the Riddler date, especially after how smug the other was about getting a date with Batman, but unfortunately, it was rather pleasant. Filled with riddles of course, most were of a romantic nature, but as they went on, they got corny, then cornier, and by the end Bruce found them amusing, and kinda cute. To the point where Ed gets a chuckle out of him, the riddler falls from his chair in shock, but makes it his life mission to hear it again.
They don't set a second date, but every time they fight after that day the Riddler interprets them as dates, Batman gets a big ol' judging Robin stare when the prize to one of the riddles the next week is a bouque of flowers and a "xx-xxx-xxx call me?" Note.
