#brucedickficathon

They're down in the tunnels leading to the Batcave when they hear footsteps and agitated voices. Or, more precisely, one very bossy, agitated voice.

"They're here! I have to see!"

"Damian. Slow down."

Dick sees Robin stiffen when he hears Bruce's voice ring out to them. It's a little weird. But he's quickly distracted by the other voice coming towards them.

"Tt, no way. You cannot tell me you have a tiny version of Grayson, Father, and then ask me to slow down."

"He's not tiny –" Bruce grumbles, dark voice echoing from the walls.

"Oh boy, here we go," Dick mutters, corners of his mouth twitching.

A shadow creeps towards them on the wall, and then Damian bursts around the corner, wearing his own Robin suit, face dark and taut with excitement. Bruce is right on his heels, dark cape swooping behind him, face unreadable.

Damian stops dead when he sets his eyes on the other Robin; and Robin, next to Dick, does the same.

"Oh," they both say at once, and the instant dislike is downright chilling.

Dick looks from one to the other. Right. Robin is older than Damian is, but they're both close enough in age to compete with each other. It's bad enough with Tim. And now Bruce has dragged another dark-haired, blue-eyed kid into it, and they're both Robins, on top of it. There can only be one at a time; Bruce of all people should've known better.

Who would've thought that confronting his mentor would be the least uncomfortable part of this.

"Relax, Damian." Dick tries a smile, even though the situation weirds him out on oh-so-many levels. "He's me."

Well, Damian likes him at least, right? Batman And Robin Will Never Die?

"I can see that," the son of the Bat intones, lips pursed, but the look he gives Robin doesn't get friendlier, at all. "Nice suit," he drawls. "If you can call it that."

"Hey –" Dick raises his voice in protest, but the two teens ignore him.

"Yeah? Right back at you." Robin sneers at the younger kid. "Is that a hood? D'you know what any thug with half a brain will do with a hood?"

"Tch, perhaps if you're slow, and bad at your job -"

Robin is shockingly quick to curl his fists up at that. Damian does the same. Dick's gaze flickers over to Bruce, who watches the scene unfold with a remarkably helpless look on his face, and can't suppress a grin. Yeah. Good luck with that.

Bruce catches Dick grinning at him, and it prompts him to finally take charge of the situation. Or try to, at least. "Damian!" He barks, and then, "Dick!"

"Yeah?" Both Graysons reply at the same time.

Bruce looks flat-out exasperated. Dick can't fight the Schadenfreude tunneling through his system. Batman's in over his head. He's so in over his head. The older man is visibly fighting the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Can we. Please. All head into the situation room so we can talk about this."

"What's there to talk about?" Damian snaps. "I insist that small Grayson get out of those rags immediately, he's making a mockery of my position –"

"Hey, I did some excellent work in those rags –" Dick pipes up.

"I'm taller than you - " Robin hisses at Damian, a nasty threat in his voice.

"Everyone- " Batman growls.

"Gentlemen."

They all turn around when the fifth voice joins the fray, and tempers cool down immediately. It's Alfred, master of defusion, carrying a tray with tea and sandwiches. He's as poised at ever, but then he spots Robin, and his face lights up.

"My word," he says warmly. But he doesn't seem surprised. Bruce must have prepped him in advance.

Alfred looks from Nightwing to Robin with a twinkle in his gentle eyes. "This is the most beautiful photo opportunity I was ever not allowed to take," he remarks, shooting Bruce a quick glance. Dick can see Robin relax under the butler's friendly gaze; he obviously trusts him, and Dick is pleased to know that some things are the same no matter which universe. Damian pouts when he sees them exchange a brief smile.

"Pennyworth is our butler," He mumbles, lest Robin get any ideas.

"I am the butler of this house, Master Damian," Alfred points out politely, "And if you all don't mind me intervening, I think the situation room is an excellent idea. I will be serving there. Feel free to follow me."

He's speaking softly, but with authority; no Bat or Bird would ever think of disobeying the man. They walk the rest of the way in a small procession. Damian and Robin seem to be competing over who gets to walk closer to Batman, bumping into each other in a progressively hostile way in the narrow tunnel. Dick isn't sure if he should laugh, or step in before one of them starts slamming the other one's face into the wall. Damian is a fierce kid, and Robin … Robin seems a little more aggressive than Dick remembers himself being. But that might be rose-tinted glasses, who knows. He has to chuckle despite himself when Batman eventually gets fed up with both of them, and gently grabs them by the capes to drag them along. Ah. Not-so-sweet nostalgia.

They reach the situation room without further incident. When they step in, Bruce holds Dick back at the door. He leans in confidentially, while at the same time keeping a respectful distance. He seems a little awkward with him, but that makes sense. They haven't spoken in a while, and now Dick finds out that Bruce has been hanging out with a teenage version of him, which is both sad, and creepy as all get-out.

"Thank you for coming," Bruce says quietly. "Really, I appreciate it."

Dick can tell that he means it; he can also tell that he's genuinely sorry about the radio silence between them. Yet, he can't help shooting him a sardonic smile. He's still mad at him, and besides, whatever the hell is going on here, Bruce has brought it on himself.

He peeks over Batman's shoulder at Robin and Damian, who are morosely claiming a mounted car skeleton and an examining table to squat on, respectively, because no Robin can just sit down in a chair normally, ever. Then, he gives the older man a comforting, if sarcastic pat.