YESSS!!!!
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seen from United States
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seen from United States
seen from China

seen from United States

seen from Russia

seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from United States

seen from United States
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seen from United States

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YESSS!!!!

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Frostcon 2013-2014 HS Photoshoot: BroxDad; BroxJohn; DavexJohn + Stern Fatherly Disapproval
CAN WE CALL THE BRO/DAD SHIP "OLD SPICE"??
Because that would be amusing as fuck on so many levels. Think about it and you'll find all the levels I mean.
Bro/Dad:: Houston, We Have a Problem Ch. 18 [Epilogue]
(This is it, guys. The end of the end. Five months (almost exactly! I posted the first part on November 13th!), 18 installments, and 75000 words, and it's finally done. Thanks so much for being the best readers anybody could ask for. Seriously. <3 I'm considering writing a sequel, since I'm really not ready to be done with these characters and this setting, but I'm not sure if it's anything anybody would be interested in, since I think it would take place four years in the future when the Striders have moved in with the Egberts, and it would focus more on the kids? I don't know, it's a possibility. But at any rate, thank you all for bearing with me for so long! <3)
Title: Houston, We Have a Problem
Pairing: Bro Strider/Dad Egbert
Rating: Overall: R Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Current chapter: R
Prompt:Â http://homesmut.livejournal.com/11448.html?thread=20410808#t20410808
Summary:Â Despite all of his cockiness, Bro Strider is still a virgin at 31 years old. After taking in a baby when he was 18 and fresh out of high school, he never had the time to really pursue a relationship. But after years of inadvertently cockblocking his older brother, Dave pays him back by introducing him to Mr. Egbert, unwittingly setting off a chain of reactions that results in Bro falling for the elder Egbert.
Chapters: Chapter 1 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 2Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 3 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 4 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 5 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 6 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 7Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 8 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 9 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 10 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 11 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 12 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 13 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 14 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 15 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 16 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 17 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 18 [End]
Bro/Dad:: Houston, We Have a Problem Ch. 17
(Finally, the last full chapter of HWHAP! There's going to be one more update, but it won't be so long (and hopefully won't take as much time to write, ahahaha) and is going to be more of an epilogue, wrapping everything up. I might do a sequel, but right now, my energy is going into finishing this! Gonna start writing the next update right after I post this. xD Thanks for bearing with me and my sporadic updates, guys! You're the best. <3)
Title: Houston, We Have a Problem
Pairing: Bro Strider/Dad Egbert
Rating: Overall: R Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Current chapter: R
Prompt:Â http://homesmut.livejournal.com/11448.html?thread=20410808#t20410808
Summary:Â Despite all of his cockiness, Bro Strider is still a virgin at 31 years old. After taking in a baby when he was 18 and fresh out of high school, he never had the time to really pursue a relationship. But after years of inadvertently cockblocking his older brother, Dave pays him back by introducing him to Mr. Egbert, unwittingly setting off a chain of reactions that results in Bro falling for the elder Egbert.
Chapters: Chapter 1 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 2Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 3 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 4 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 5 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 6 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 7Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 8 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 9 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 10 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 11 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 12 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 13 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 14 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 15 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 16 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 17 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 18

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Bro/Dad:: Houston, We Have a Problem Ch. 16
(Okay, so the general consensus was two bitty updates instead of one long one, so here is the first one! I'm afraid it's a rather boring update, though, nothing too exciting... Just setting the scene for the next part. Ah well. I still hope you like!)
Title: Houston, We Have a Problem
Pairing: Bro Strider/Dad Egbert
Rating: Overall: R Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Current chapter: PG-13
Prompt:Â http://homesmut.livejournal.com/11448.html?thread=20410808#t20410808
Summary:Â Despite all of his cockiness, Bro Strider is still a virgin at 31 years old. After taking in a baby when he was 18 and fresh out of high school, he never had the time to really pursue a relationship. But after years of inadvertently cockblocking his older brother, Dave pays him back by introducing him to Mr. Egbert, unwittingly setting off a chain of reactions that results in Bro falling for the elder Egbert.
Chapters: Chapter 1 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 2Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 3 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 4 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 5 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 6 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 7Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 8 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 9 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 10 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 11 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 12 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 13 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 14 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 15 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 16 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 17 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 18
-------------------------- Much to Broâs eternal disappointment, he was unable to talk to Egbert on the phone for the rest of their week apart, an unfortunate side effect of a six hour time difference and conflicting schedules. So by the time Egbert texted him to let him know that he had landed at the JFK International Airport in New York and would be arriving at Houston in three hours time, Bro was beyond antsy to see him. He was feeling reckless and a little impulsive, so he decided to seize the day and take a taxi down to the airport to wait for Egbert. He was still wary of airport security after his last disastrous encounter with them, but he was relieved to find that he didnât have to pass through security to meet Egbert at the baggage claim. He was a few minutes early, so he stood there with his hands shoved in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels. When people began to flood the area, he kept his eyes peeled for a familiar fedora, and his heart skipped a beat when he spotted it. Egbert was standing at the far end of the carousel, waiting for his luggage. Bro recognized his old-fashioned suitcase as it emerged onto the belt, and he ambled over so that he was standing next to Egbert. When the suitcase trundled up to them, Bro reached for it at the same time as Egbert, and their hands brushed together. Egbert looked up at Bro, astonishment creasing his features as he recognized who was standing next to him. Bro grinned as he lugged the suitcase off of the belt. âHey,â he said, leaning in to kiss a still-shocked Egbert. He couldnât do what he wanted to do, which was to make out with him like a desperate, horny teenager, because they were in public and he was already getting dirty looks. âWell, this is a surprise,â Egbert finally said when he regained his voice, breaking out into a smile. âYeah, wellâŠâ Bro said with a sheepish shrug of his shoulders. âI couldnât wait. I needed to see you. I missed you.â âIâve missed you too,â Egbert replied warmly. âMore than words can say.â He looked as if he wanted to kiss him again but settled for the more innocuous option of holding his hand. Bro insisted on carrying Egbertâs luggage to the valet parking lot, outright refusing to listen to his protests. Eventually Egbertâs jetlag outweighed his need to be a gentleman, and he gave up and let Bro carry the suitcase. After the hassle of retrieving the car and loading it up, Bro climbed into the passenger seat next to Egbert. âOkay, weâre finally out of the public eye, I am officially declaring this a makeout zone. Fail to do so, and you will be towed.â Egbert didnât dignify him with a response and simply sealed the distance between them with a kiss. Not for the first time, Bro cursed the joystick that always wedged between them whenever they kissed inside the car. He wriggled out of his seatbelt and knelt on the seat so that he was directly facing Egbert and could deepen the kiss between them. When he surfaced for air, his eyes were shining with exhilaration behind the dark lenses of his shades. âGod, I really have missed you. This better not be a regular thing, I donât know if I can handle these longass weeks without you in my life.â âBelieve me, the feeling is mutual, and you are one of the reasons why I am so happy to be back home. And I donât think that it will become a regular thing, so you have nothing to worry about. And now Iâm afraid Iâm quite exhausted from traveling, so I hope you wonât mind if I drop you off at your apartment and head home to restâŠâ âNah, itâs cool, I know youâve gotta be mad tired, and I have work tonight anyway. Just wanted to see you, thatâs all.â âThank you for coming all the way down here, Broderick. Iâm glad your face was the first familiar one I saw after landing. Now buckle your seatbelt. Safety is important.â
âYeah, yeahâŠâ Bro rolled his eyes but he clicked his seatbelt together again. As Egbert pulled out of the parking lot, one of his hands found its way to Broâs knee. Bro took hold of his hand and squeezed it, smiling when he squeezed it back in return. It was good to have Egbert home. -------------------------- The week went by far too quickly, and before Bro knew it, it was Thursday night and the eve of his big date with Egbert. He was simultaneously excited and nervous, and he told Egbert so when they were talking on the phone. âI must confess that I am quite excited too!â Egbert said, and Bro heard him take a sip of his evening coffee. âBut what is there for you to be nervous about?â There was a short pause before Bro filled the silence and said, âNothing, I guess.â If Egbert didnât know, he wasnât about to tell him that he had the first time jitters and was afraid that he wouldnât be able to perform. âWell, in any case, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but i think we might have hit a small snag in our plans for after the showâŠâ âOh, hell no,â Bro immediately said. âI donât care what it is, Iâm not letting anything else stand between me and that moment. What is it?â âWhat are we going to do with the boys? Obviously, John cannot be in the house if we are going to beâŠâ he coughed delicately, âotherwise occupied.â Bro smirked at the expression but let him continue. âAnd if John slept over with Dave, I think there would be some questions asked as to why you arenât returning. Plus, Iâm not so sure that Iâm comfortable leaving the two of them alone for the night without any supervision. Especially considering the amount of dangerous items you keep in your apartment.â âMy apartment is totally safe, what are you even talking about,â Bro said, a little offended. âDaveâs a big boy, he knows how to take care of himself. But yeah, donât think itâs a good idea to leave them there. Theyâll totally know that weâre staying up all night banging at your place when I donât come home. Shit.â He took off his baseball cap and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, causing it to stand up on end. âTell you what,â he said, jamming the cap back on his head. âIâll talk to Ruf at work tonight, see if maybe Tavros can coincidentally ask them to sleep over tomorrow night.â âAhhh,â Egbert said, sounding relieved. He trusted Rufio, who had a sensible head on his shoulders, and if John and Dave slept over with a mutual friend, it would circumvent any awkward conversations about their intentions for the night. âYes, this sounds like it would be the best solution, if it doesnât inconvenience Rufio.â âNah, itâll be fine,â Bro said, brimming with confidence. âHeâs not working tomorrow night, and you know what heâs like with his kid. He wants Tavros to have friends.â âYou make it sound like the poor child has no friends.â âWell, he is kind of a dweeb,â Bro said matter-of-factly. âNice kid, donât get me wrong, but a little socially awkward. Iâm talking about friends outside of the kid who weâre pretty sure is already doing drugs and that kid with the lisp who hacked the school system and sent out a mass notice saying that school was closed due to a burst pipe. Anyway, what is this, gossip mom central? Ruf will be all for him hanging out with Dave and John. Weâll make it work. But speaking of which, Iâve gotta dash or Iâll be late.â âAll right, Broderick. Let me know what Rufio has to say, and I will see you tomorrow evening.â âFuck yes.â Bro smiled anyway, even though Egbert couldnât see him. âTomorrow at 7. My body is ready.â Egbert laughed. âIâm sure it is, and I hope it still is come tomorrow. Good luck at work. I love you.â âLove you too,â Bro answered and ended the call, shoving the phone into his pocket and bounding down the stairs in the hopes of making it to work on time.
-------------------------- Bro was on his best behavior at work that night. He didnât make snarky comments to people who requested stupid songs that didnât jive with his set list, he didnât play âBarbie Girlâ three times in a row to spite the obnoxious drunks who sloshed beer onto his platform, and he didnât skip out to grab a drink at the bar. He liked his job too much to lose it, so he figured he ought to play by the bossâs rules for a while instead of testing his limits. Both Bro and Rufio were working until close, so when 2 A.M. rolled around and they shut down Trouble for the night, they started walking home together as per their unspoken tradition. âHey, Ruf. Iâve got a favor to ask you,â Bro said as he tapped out a cigarette from its carton and dug out his lighter. âYeah? Hit me.â âMy pleasure,â Bro quipped, socking him in the shoulder and causing Rufio to shoot him a look. âNo, but seriously, I need your help. Me and Egbert are going out on a date tomorrow and I am totally getting laid. Problem is, we need someone to be our fairy-fucking-godmother and take the little dudes off of our hands.â âAm I supposed to be the fairy-fucking-godmother?â âYeah, thatâd be pretty sweet if you were,â Bro said, lighting his cigarette and taking a drag. âWe thought maybe Tavros could, you know, âinviteâ Dave and John over for a sleepover or some such shit.â âYou know, thatâs actually not a bad idea,â Rufio mused. âThey all had a good time when we went paintballing two weeks ago. And besides, even if he hasnât said so, Tavâs got the hots for Daveââ âI knew it!â Bro burst out triumphantly. âBecause Iâm 99.85% positive that Dave feels the exact same way.â ââand it wouldnât hurt him to be more social instead of playing games for girls all night. Yeah, Iâm down with that. Iâll clear it with Tav and you can dump them off before your date. And Iâll keep an eye on them so they donât do stupid shit like blow up eggs in the microwave like the last time Tavros had friends over.â ââŠDude, that sounds like fun.â âOh, it was awesome, makes a really satisfying boom, but it sucks when youâre the one who has to clean up the aftermath.â âThatâs why you make them do the dirty work. They make the mess, they can clean it up. Boom, end of story.â âYeah, well, they were laughing and having a good time, I didnât want to harsh their buzz. But if your kids do something stupid when theyâre over here, itâs gonna be all on them.â âTheyâre teenage boys, Ruf. Of course theyâre gonna do something stupid.â Rufio snorted in agreement, and they walked in silence for a little bit. âDâyou think anythingâs gonna come out of this thing with Dave and Tavros?â Bro finally asked, finishing his cigarette and carelessly flicking the butt onto the ground. âI donât know,â Rufio replied. âI hope so, but I donât think Tavros is going to be the one to make the first move and say it outright. Itâll take some serious confidence to go that route, and I donât think he has the balls to take that first step.â âOh , Christ,â Bro said, shaking his head in disgust. âI seriously doubt that Dave will initiate anything either, not after the clusterfuck that was that whole incident with him confessing to John. So theyâre both gonna just be dancing around the subject, doing in this whole complicated waltz of incompetence. Whichâll earn them a gold medal for fancy footwork but that wonât get them anywhere. Idiots.â âYeah, well, weâll see how tomorrow goes, if they make any breakthroughs,â Rufio said. âIâm turning here,â he added, jerking his head to the street on the right. âCatch you later, Bro.â âSee you, man.â Bro nodded farewell to Rufio and headed homeward. When he returned to the apartment, he got ready for bed and crashed on the futon, but as much as he tried, he couldnât sleep. This was going to be a long night. -------------------------- Five hours later, Dave stepped out of his room to find Bro in his pajamas, frowning at the hallway closet that held his clothes.
âBro, what are you doing?â he asked, a little afraid as to what the answer would be. He never knew what to expect when he posed that question to Bro, and he had regretted asking it on occasion. His big brother was wildly unpredictable, and he didnât want to know what he was up to most of the time. âTrying to pick out what underwear Iâm going to wear for my date with Egbert tonight,â Bro answered, rifling through the shoeboxes that held his underwear. ââŠDude, itâs 7 A.M., youâre not going out for like another twelve hours,â Dave pointed out. âThis is the most pivotal event of my life, Dave, it is crucial that I get everything right!â âBro, Mr. Egbertâs not going to care what you wear for underwear. You could wear a pink thong and he wouldnât give a shit.â âWhat, you mean these?â Bro asked, holding up a skimpy hot pink thong. âI mean, I bought them for irony purposes, butâŠâ He was pretty sure that Daveâs eye was twitching behind his sunglasses. âYeah, I gotta go. See you after school.â Bro watched as Dave quickly absconded, vaguely amused but consternated nonetheless. Consulting Dave had been no help whatsoever. He sighed and ambled back into the living room, flopping down onto the futon with a grunt. He picked up his phone and stared at for a minute before deciding to call for some advice. He dialed a number that he knew by heart and waited for the familiar voice to answer. âHey, Ruf, hypothetical question. What kind of underwear do you think Egbert likes?â Rufio sounded more confused than anything when he answered, âWhat?â âYou heard me. Iâm getting laid tonight and I donât know what the fuck to wear.â âDude, why are you asking me?â Rufio asked incredulously. âIf I knew what underwear he liked, I think weâd have a bigger problem here.â âWell, yeah, but hypothetically, if you had to take a guess.â âDude. Dude, just wear what you normally wear.â âThat advice bites, itâs not special if I just wear what I normally wearââ âNo, dudeââ ââDave said I should wear a thongââ âNo, Bro, what, donât wear a thong. I sincerely doubt he was being serious.â âButââ âBro. Bro, justâ shoosh. Calm the fuck down.â Rufio finished spiking up his trihawk and put down the bottle of hair glue. After rinsing his hands, he snapped up his phone and switched it off of speaker mode. He rolled his eyes as he left the bathroom, holding the cell to his ear. âThen donât wear any underwear! See what I care! Yeah, fuck you too!â He hung up on Bro and let out a huff of annoyance. As much as he cared about his bro, he sure as hell could be exasperating sometimes. But Rufio had enough on his plate to worry about that morning. Namely, getting Tavros to school on time without getting engrossed in a heated debate about underwear over the phone. âTav! Letâs get a move on!â he called as he rounded the corner and very nearly knocked into his son, who was standing just out of sight. âAnd what are you doing?â he asked, looking down at him and arching his eyebrows. âNothing,â Tavros said, raising a hand to touch a flushed cheek. âI was just going to get you and say that we should probably go now when, uh, I heard Daveâs nameâŠâ âOh yeah, of course, your little flushcrush.â âHeâs notââ Tavros started to protest heatedly, but Rufio interrupted him before he could finish denying. âTav, youâre blushing,â he pointed out. âI think that makes him a dead ringer for a flushcrush.â Tavros didnât have a response to that, so he just looked down and scuffed at the floor with the toe of his sneaker. Rufio put a hand on his shoulder. âSânothing to be embarrassed about, kiddo. He likes you, havenât you been talking to him online almost every night?â âWell. Yeah, I definitely am, itâs great.â Tavros couldnât keep a grin from tugging at his lips. âSo there you go,â Rufio said, clapping him on the back. âAnd you get to hang out with him tonight too, remember.â âWait. What?â âOh, right, you were asleep when I got home from work last night. I didnât get a chance to tell you. Bro and his man are going out on a date tonight and needed someone to watch their boys, so I said that Dave and John could spend the night. Weâve got those old cocoon sleeping bags in the closet, itâs no big deal.â
He could almost see the cogs in Tavrosâs head working. âSo you mean Iâm having a sleepover with Dave Strider tonight?â âAnd John Egbert, yeah.â âWow. Okay, I donât really have any words, for all the things Iâm feeling right now. This is going to be so much fun!â Rufio laughed. âYeah, I bet it will. But you can think of those words while youâre on your way to school. Are you ready to go?â âYeah!â âAlright, go wait out by the motorcycle while I find my keys, and weâll hit the road. Blame Bro for making us late.â âI thought it was because you forgot to set the alarm clock last night.â âEasier to blame Bro. Come on, sport,â he said as he ruffled Tavrosâs hair. âLetâs get going.â -------------------------- Bro put down the phone and stared at it petulantly, a little put out by his unsuccessful attempt to wrangle helpful advice from Rufio. His question was no closer to being answered. After five minutes of waffling back and forth, he decided to bite the bullet and call the man himself. âWell, hello, Broderick!â Egbert said when he answered the phone. âItâs rare to get a phone call from you so early in the day. I was just about to message you to let you know that I received your text from last night and John thinks it sounds fun, so weâre all set on that front. How are you?â âIâm cool, like always. But I got a question for you: are you a boxers or briefs kind of person?â âItâs not as if you havenât seen me sans trousers before, Broderick. I think you ought to know by now that I tend to wear briefs.â âNo, no, I mean on other people. Specifically on me.â âAre you asking me for advice on what underwear you should wear tonight?â Goddammit, Bro cursed internally. He wasnât supposed to find out, but Egbert was a shrewd man. âMaybe. Who knows. I could just be conducting a survey, going around and calling people to harass them into spilling about what type of underwear they find most sexually attractive. This is important shit, you know. Top notch, Class A, FBI kind of shit. Iâm putting my very life on the line by even telling you about this classified investigation.â âJust wear whatever you normally wear,â Egbert told him, tuning out his spiel. âI assure you that I will find you attractive no matter what youâre wearing. Honestly.â âThis is not helping me.â âTell you what,â Egbert said. âYou normally wear boxers, donât you? At least, thatâs all that Iâve seen you in. Wear a pair of those. And if it helps you make your decisionâŠâ Egbertâs voice dropped to avoid being heard by anyone within earshot, although Bro was reasonably sure that he was using his hands-free headset and driving to work after dropping John off at school, judging by the noises he detected in the background. âItâs not like weâll be wearing them for very long anywayâŠâ Bro cleared his throat. âOh. Well. Way to make me pop a boner, Egbert, thanks.â Egbert laughed, and Bro could practically see his Pranksterâs Gambit skyrocketing. âThat was the plan,â he teased. âFuck you,â Bro informed him. âI thought we were saving that for tonight?â âI am hanging up on you now. I need to go take a shower and take care of this problem.â âYou do that,â Egbert said, amusement lining his voice. âAnd I look forward to being able to take care of any other problems that arise in the very near future.â Bro hung up without answering. He was used to being the one who made the sexual innuendoes, and now that the tables had turned on him, he wasnât sure how to feel. He looked down at his lap and heaved a sigh, getting up to head for the bathroom. But first, he stopped at the closet at the very end of the hallway and grabbed a pair of underwear from a shoebox. Boxers it was.
Bro/Dad:: Houston, We Have a Problem Ch. 15
(And here is Chapter 15, guys! :D Thank you all for being amazing as always. <3
...Jackoffitude. I'm sorry, I wanted an excuse to use that word. xD)
Title: Houston, We Have a Problem
Pairing: Bro Strider/Dad Egbert
Rating: Overall: R Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Current chapter: R
Prompt:Â http://homesmut.livejournal.com/11448.html?thread=20410808#t20410808
Summary:Â Despite all of his cockiness, Bro Strider is still a virgin at 31 years old. After taking in a baby when he was 18 and fresh out of high school, he never had the time to really pursue a relationship. But after years of inadvertently cockblocking his older brother, Dave pays him back by introducing him to Mr. Egbert, unwittingly setting off a chain of reactions that results in Bro falling for the elder Egbert.
Chapters: Chapter 1 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 2Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 3 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 4 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 5 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 6 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 7Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 8 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 9 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 10 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 11 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 12 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 13 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 14 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 15 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 16 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 17 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 18
-------------------------- Nobody was around to protect John, Bro thought as he rested the barrel of his gun on the window ledge. Dave was nowhere in sight, and Egbert was probably halfway across the ocean on his way to Germany by now. He squinted as he looked through the sight, training the red dot on John. Like shooting ducks in a barrel. Bro pulled the trigger, and he hit his target square in the chest, bright red spattering across his torso. Bro smirked as he dropped to the ground to avoid being spotted. He didnât want Dave to come tearing off after him for revenge once he saw that John was down for the count. He was hellbent on hunting down Tavros next, but he had to be careful. Rufio was protective of his kid. Stealth was of the utmost importance if he was going to get away with this. Broâs ears pricked up at the sound of someone climbing the ladder behind him, and he swiveled around, aiming the gun at the intruderâs heart. Rufio hissed at him and held up his empty palm in self-defense. Bro lowered the gun and extended a hand to pull Rufio into the tower. âSorry, man, I thought you were someone else. My bad.â âYeah, no shit. Careful where youâre pointing that thing. Weâre supposed to be in cahoots, itâs no good if you end up offing me. Whatâs the dead kid count on your end?â âJust bagged my first one, got the mini-Egbert right in the chest. He didnât stand a chance. Hate to be the one to break it to you, but Iâm going after your kid now.â âLike hell you are,â Rufio said, but before he had time to take a threatening step towards Bro, a spray of ammunition spattered against the outside wall of the sniperâs tower, and they both flattened against the floor. Rufio was the first one to brave the warfare, peering out the window to assess the damage. The front of the tower was painted yellow, and Tavros was looking up at them, his gun resting on his shoulder. âTavros, you wipe that shit-eating grin off your face this instant. And yeah, I know youâre grinning under that mask,â Rufio said, pointing a finger at him. Bro was up off the floor in an instant, racing for the ladder, and Rufio swore, grabbing his gun and heading off after him at lightning speed. Bro jumped down the last few rungs and aimed his sight on Tavros, who yelped and dived for a bunker. Rufio cut in front of Bro, who growled in annoyance. He jerked his gun back so that his paint hit a pillar instead. âShit, man, youâre on my team! I can pick him off easy, let me at him. Allâs fair in love and war, now are you going to help me win this thing or not?â âYeah, no, youâre not gonna be the one toâ ow!â Rufio hissed, more out of surprise than pain, as several paintballs hit him in the small of the back, bursting on contact. He swiveled around to find Tavros on his haunches with his paintgun propped on his knees, trying and failing to contain his howls of laughter. âThe fuck is this, Tavros? I try to protect your hide, and this is how you repay me? This is betrayal.â Rufio glowered at his son, but Tavros was undeterred. âUh, well, weâre not exactly on the same team, and thatâs what Iâm supposed to do. I think, that you are just sore, because I managed to get you.â ââŠYou are so grounded, young man.â âSore loser, man, is this the kind of sportsmanship you wanna be preaching to your only son? He got you fair and square, now Iâm gonna have to banish you to No Manâs Land.â Bro pointed at the safe area, and Rufio turned to find John sitting there, his front still stained red from Broâs paintballs. John gave him a cheerful wave, and Rufio sighed, glumly accepting his fate and trudging over to the dead land. âWell, well,â Bro said lazily, turning his gun over and over in his hand. âLooks like itâs me and you, squirt. And my baby brother, but oops, heâs not here to be the knight in shining armor to your damsel in distress. Prepare to eat my balls,â he pronounced, enunciating every word carefully.
Over in the no manâs land, Rufio buried his head in his hands and John giggled, whispering a âThatâs what she said!â âActually, no, I think that, itâs pretty much going to be the other way around,â Tavros said, fumbling with his gun. He aimed it at Bro, who prepared to flee as soon as the shot was fired. Tavros squeezed the trigger, but nothing happened. âWait, what. Oh.â Realization dawned on him. âOh, shit, what happens when you run out of paintballs?â âAmateur move right there, wasting all your pellets firing at nothing. And Iâll tell you what happens â it means your ass is mine,â Bro said, advancing on him with his gun at the ready and a predatory leer on his face. A warning shot fired directly in front of him, causing Bro to halt in his tracks and search for its source. Dave had emerged from his hiding place, where he had been biding his time, and his gun was pointed directly at Bro. âHis ass is mine.â Bro stifled a snort, and if Daveâs face wasnât completely hidden by the protective mask, he was pretty sure that he was blushing something fierce. Dave hastily backpedaled. âI mean, my teamâs. Tav, go hide, I got this under control.â âUm, okay, I am most definitely doing that, right now.â Tavros crouched down behind his bunker, peeking out at Bro and Dave, his eyes wide beneath his helmet. A long moment of silence passed as the two Strider brothers faced each other off, staring at each other with cool composure. Dave suddenly sprang into action, firing his gun at Bro, who expertly dodged every carefully aimed paintball. He could have avoided getting shot. He could have easily overtaken Dave and won. It wasnât even a question, not when you considered their individual skill sets and the fact that he had eighteen years and a good six inches on him. But Tavros was watching intently, and he could see the tension in Daveâs shoulders. Bro figured he could take a bullet for his little brother and let Dave save face in front of him. He purposely took a misstep, placing himself in the trajectory of the paintballs, which splattered his front with bright orange paint. âHa!â Dave burst out triumphantly, breaking his cool long enough to let out a whoop of delight at his victory. âYessss!â Tavros jumped up from the bunker and ran over to Dave, unable to contain his excitement. âWe win! Dave, you did it, you got him!â âWell, yeah, of course I did,â Dave said, resting his gun on his shoulder and nonchalantly inspecting his fingernails. âWhat, you doubted my fine skills? Iâm hurt, Tav. Real hurt. Here I am, busting into this fruity rumpus asshole partytown, all armed and dangerous, prepared to fight tooth and nail just to protect your ass, and youâre doubting me?â âWhat, my ass, that is supposed to be yours?â Tavros said, grinning wickedly as they headed off the paintball field, pulling off their masks. Daveâs cheeks were tinged pink but his voice was calm as he answered, âThat was completely unintentional. I was responding to Broâs lameass comment, and it didnât come out right.â Bro rolled his eyes. âCome on, lovebirds,â he said, gripping them both by the shoulders and steering them towards the safe zone. Both boys immediately started protesting, flustered and talking over one another. âBro, no, weâre not like thatââ âWow, no, oh god, not, I meanââ ââCompletely off baseââ âAll right, all right, chill. Dudes canât take a joke,â he explained as they approached a questioning Rufio, whom he exchanged a meaningful glance with, and John. âSâup, mini Egbert. Sorry I creamed you out there, but it was pretty inevitable. I mean, Iâm not saying youâre bad, but⊠youâre bad.â John shrugged off the barb with a laugh that made Bro suddenly miss Egbert intensely. âHaha! Oh man, I donât even care, I had so much fun with that!â âYeah, me too!â Tavros agreed, and the two of them high-fived. Dave, who was in between the two of them, just shook his head. âMan, what did I do to get saddled with Derp and Derpier over here? Christ in a sidecar, I should be getting paid for this.â
Bro let the three of them walk ahead of him and fell in stride with Rufio. They silently fist-bumped behind the boysâ backs, sharing a private moment of wordless satisfaction as they headed homeward. -------------------------- After dropping Tavros and Rufio off at their own apartment six blocks down, Bro, Dave, and John went home to tackle the problem of dinner. They had already had leftover Chinese food for lunch and werenât too keen on the thought of more takeout, so Bro ended up tossing a few loaves of frozen French bread pizzas into the oven. âStouffers is a motherfucking godsend,â he proclaimed when he pulled out the finished pizzas, burning his hand in the process because Striders were too cool for oven mitts. John winced at the sight; partly because it looked like it hurt and partly because his father had always taught him proper oven safety, which Bro was completely disregarding. Bro grabbed two of his rad and expensive ninja swords and carefully balanced one of the French bread pizzas on the flat edges of the blades. âWhat is he doing?â John whispered to Dave. âShhh, donât talk, youâll ruin his concentration. This is going to be good.â In one swift, dexterous motion, Bro tossed the loaf into the air and rapidly sliced it into pieces, holding out a classy chipped plate and catching them as they fell. âDinnertime,â he said, handing the plate to their guest.âNot exactly your dadâs home cooking, but hey, itâs good.â âThis is so cool!â Bro had to hide a smile as he turned to cut up his and Daveâs pizzas. Johnâs enthusiasm was gratifying, he had to admit. The three boys scarfed down their meals in record time, and as soon as they finished, John accosted his best friend. âHey, Dave! We should watch a movie! Want to watchââ âNo.â âAw, Dave, you didnât let me finish!â âIf itâs Con Air, Failure to Launch, or Deep Impact, I donât want to watch it.â âHey, I wasnât even going to suggest those! If you had let me finish, I was going to say Starsky and Hutch, dumbass.â âHuh. Okay, fine, I guess Iâm down with that.â âHaha, I knew you would be! Because you always laugh so hard when we watch it, and because of your weird thing for Ben StillerâŠâ Dave casually choked on his soda. âWhat the fuck, no!â he said, coughing as John thumped him on the back. âIs this about the shades? Because I told you that Iâm wearing them ironically. And theyâre awesome. Theyâre awesome because theyâre ironic, and vice versa. Go get Pat Sajak, someone needs to buy a fucking clue over here. Dave Strider is awesome, John Egbert sucks, the end.â As the boys set up the TV and continued to argue good-naturedly, Bro picked up the dishes and ambled over to the kitchen. He removed some of the fireworks that were lodged in the sink and dumped the dirty plates in, to be dealt with the next time that he gave a fuck about clean dishes. Or until Egbert returned from Germany and resumed picking up after him, as he was wont to do every time he visited the Strider apartment. Bro gave up on protesting after a while, reasoning that Egbert actually enjoyed cleaning for reasons that were unfathomable to him. Sometimes he had to wonder about his boyfriendâs habits. -------------------------- Later that night, after the boys had headed off to bed, Bro decided to get some prep work done so that he could begin working on a new stop-motion shoot for Plush Rump after Dave and John left for school. He changed into a pair of pajama bottoms and reclined the futon, transforming it into his makeshift bed so that he could sprawl out comfortably. He was stitching up a torn smuppet (a casualty from an unfortunate incident involving a box of noodles, a handful of kunai, and a misplaced skateboard) and humming to himself when his cell phone started blaring an all-too-familiar song. Bro started in surprise and glanced at the clock, doing a few mental calculations before answering the phone. âEgbert? Isnât it like 4 A.M. over there?â
Egbertâs voice was slightly tinny and scratchy over the line, but hearing it still made Bro smile. âYes, well, my connection flight was delayed, and Iâve only just arrived at the hotel. Unfortunately, Iâm not tired at all since I slept for the majority of the flight. Which, youâll be happy to know, I survived. How are you, Broderick?â âAsides from missing you? Not bad. I took Dave and John paintballing today, and we ran into Rufio and his kid, so that was fun. Other than that, things are cool. Uneventful. Howâre you? Howâs the the hotel?â âItâs nice enough, I suppose. Business gives me an upgraded room, so I get a robe, slippers, and a fresh fruit platter. Which is all well and good, but it is a bit lonely.â Bro grinned wryly. âYeah, itâs feeling pretty lonely over here too.â It was true, and to be honest, he was a little surprised at the intensity of his lonesomeness. After all, it wasnât like he was able to see Egbert every day when he was in the States, but the fact that he didnât have that possibility of seeing him for a solid week was difficult to bear with. Add to that the likelihood that he wouldnât be able to call or text him whenever he wanted, or even receive a goodnight text, and Bro was feeling pretty empty inside. This call alone would end up being costly, but Bro didnât care about the expenses if it meant getting to hear Egbert. âI wish I could be there with you in your bed,â Bro said. âKeep us both from getting lonely, being all intimate with you and everything.â He was praying that Egbert would cotton on to his intentions, but Bro couldnât tell by his response. âThat would be lovely, yes. It is a rather large bed, there certainly is plenty of room for you in it.â Bro hesitated, rolling the words around in his mouth. He was dancing around the subject, and he wanted to suggest something, but he didnât know how agreeable Egbert would be to such a proposition. It was a matter that had to be treated carefully and with the utmost tact. âI want you to fuck me senseless.â Egbert laughed, static crackling through the line. âYou are as blunt as ever, Broderick.â âNo, but itâs true.â He dropped his voice so that it was huskier, low enough that Egbert had to listen attentively to every word. âI want you to pick me up with those strong manly arms of yours, spread me out on the bed, and have your way with me. You know, pound me into the mattress while whispering sweet nothings in my ear. Make me beg for more while I call your name.â And fuck, even just voicing the thought out loud was making him hard. The line was dead silent for a moment, and Bro was beginning to be afraid that the long-distance call had been dropped when Egbert spoke again, his voice sounding slightly off. âBroderick, are you intending to engage in⊠phone sex with me?â âSomething along those lines, yeah. If youâre amenable to that prospect.â âWhile Iâd prefer to be able to do it with you in person, I suppose I wouldnât be too opposed to it, no.â âAce.â Bro wet his lips, his mouth suddenly dry. âI guess this would be the part where Iâd ask you what youâre wearing, but that means Iâd have to tell you that Iâm wearing my ratty old Muppet pajama pants. And while Animal is fucking boss, itâs not exactly the sexiest attire.â âWell, for what itâs worth, I find you plenty attractive no matter what you happen to be wearing,â Egbert reassured him. âAnd thank god for that, or else youâd probably have dumped me after our first date, since despite the fact that I was mad stylinâ in those threads, apparently itâs not in vogue to wear a baseball cap with a suit. Hold the phone, I just need to do something real quick first.â
Bro got up and checked the hallway, listening for any sign of the boys, but he heard no noise coming from Daveâs room. It was a school night, and he was pretty sure that they were exhausted from playing paintball that evening anyway. Still, he shut the door to the living room firmly and, after staring at it for a minute, found a sock and hung it over the doorknob, hoping that they understood the universal code for âGetting it on, do not disturb.â On second thought, he shoved the heavy trunk that he used to carry his puppets in when he was bringing them out on gigs in front of the door. He was not taking any chances â the last thing he needed was for John to wake up thirsty and head to the kitchen for a glass of water, only to find his friendâs big brother jacking off to his fatherâs voice. Bro returned to the futon and moved the half-sewn smuppet to the ground before sitting down, hissing in pain as something sharp stabbed him in the thigh. He dug out the needle and the spool of thread from beneath him, threw the offending items on the floor, and lay down, picking up the phone once more. âSo, uh.â Bro cleared his throat and tried again. âWhat are you doing right now?â Egbert sounded slightly amused when he answered evasively, âI think you can imagine well enough what I am doing.â âFucking tease.â Bro allowed himself to fantasize for a moment and envisioned Egbert lying in his hotel bed across the ocean, his hand skimming up the inside of his thigh and pressing between his legs. âDammit,â he muttered, shoving his hand down his pants to grip his rapidly hardening bulge. Egbert chuckled, his voice throaty and deep in his ear. âItâs nice to see that I can still affect you when Iâm not even in the same country as you.â âEgbert,â Bro told him, âyou could affect me even if you were dressed in a chicken suit on a drag show.â âWell, I certainly hope that would never be the case.â âI donât know, I think you could work it. Youâd be the sexiest chicken to ever exist. I mean, rooster. The alpha male of all cocks. Yeah.â âI get it, donât worry. And Iâm glad you think so highly of me. I do wish I could be with you right now, though,â Egbert added wistfully. âJust so I could hold you in my arms.â A lump formed in Broâs throat as the weight of the separation bore down on him. âYeah. Yeah, Iâd like that.â He squeezed his eyes shut, but a single tear leaked out anyway, rolling down his cheek and leaving behind a wet trail of shame. He was lonelier than ever, with 5000 miles and a vast ocean separating him from Egbert. He tucked his phone between his ear and his shoulder while he grabbed a pillow and hugged it close, desperate for contact and the feel of a warm body pressed up against his own. The pillow couldnât wrap its arms around him and hold him close to its chest, where he could relax his guarded expression and lose himself in its embrace â but it was better than nothing. âWhat else would you do to me if you were here?â âKiss you,â Egbert answered without hesitation. And god, Bro fervently wished he could. He wet his lips, conjuring up the taste of him, smoky and sweet, on the tip of his tongue. âStarting with your neck,â Egbert continued. âBecause I know how much you enjoy being kissed there.â âMmm,â Bro purred, turning his head to the side and trailing his fingers down his own neck as he recalled their past encounters and the feel of Egbertâs lips against his skin. âThen I suppose Iâd work my way up towards your mouth.â Egbertâs voice suddenly took on a mischievous tone, and Bro could practically see his familiar blue eyes twinkling playfully. âOf course, kissing you in such a position would undoubtedly bring me in rather close contact with your extremitiesâŠâ
Bro laughed breathlessly as the scene played out in his head. Egbert would break the kiss so that he could speak, but his lips would still brush over his jawline, breath hot against his skin as he murmured tantalizing words of lust and love. Even as his mouth was otherwise occupied, heâd roll his hips downward to meet the heat of Broâs groin. âYeah, it would. Not that Iâm complaining, since my extremities would be pretty happy to make contact with yours. Let the ambassador of the Egbertian kingdom know that the nation of Striderdick is keen to establish negotiations with your lands down under. My soldierâs eagerly standing at attention in anticipation of your response.â Egbert laughed, and Bro was pretty sure that he was shaking his head in amusement. âAll right, Iâll play along with your extended metaphor and let you know that the ambassador is equally standing erect over here as well.â Bro paused to consider the implications of this statement, and his cock twitched as he realized that Egbert was echoing his innuendo-laden sentiments. âIâm sorry, my train of thought was completely derailed at the image of you being hard for me. That freight car just abandoned ship, hurtled off the train tracks, and is dive bombing over the railing to the sea of jackoffitude because shit just got real.â âI donât think thatâs a real word, Broderick. And is that really such a foreign concept, that I reciprocate your own physical reactions when it comes to thinking about you in this context?â âNo, I guess not. I mean, I am one fine piece of ass, and Iâve definitely felt your manhood rubbing all sensually up against mine when weâre getting our mack on. And this is when Iâd tell you to shut up and get on with it, because my aching cock is hungry for some friction.â Bro bent his knees and spread them just far apart so that he could press the pillow between his legs in imitation of his fantasy Egbert bearing down on him. He bit his lip in response to the much needed pressure, trying to keep his breath steady and in control. âWhy would I want to be silent, when I could be telling you how much I love you?â And it was corny but romantic, and Broâs heart kind of melted a little at his words. âAnd how much I⊠want you.â Broâs eyes fluttered shut as he tipped his head back and basked in the sound of Egbertâs velvety voice. He arched his hips up, pressing into the pillow and grinding against it as he sighed. âAs long as you donât stop what youâre doing, you can say anything you want.â âBelieve me, I donât want to stop.â âGood. Good, then weâre on the same wavelength.â Bro wedged a hand between his body and the pillow he still clutched tightly, and he rocked up into the palm of his own hand. âCan I justâ be on top?â he gasped. âWhatever you want, Broderick.â âGood,â Bro breathed, rolling over onto his stomach with the pillow still clamped between his thighs. âBecause thatâs all I want to do. Justâ be on top of you, rubbing up against youâŠâ âLike that night at the resort?â Bro smiled as he recalled their time together during their ski vacation. Heâd be lying if he said that he hadnât thought about that first night when jerking off since then. âYeah. Just like that.â It wasnât hard at all for him to conjure up the image of him on top of Egbert, kissing him as he explored the canvas of his body. He slid down the seam of the pillow, relishing in the way the edge traced down his shaft and over his balls. The angle of the pillow made it easier for him to imagine that it was Egbertâs cock rubbing up against his own. He hummed in pleasure, grinding down harder and faster to get the friction that he so desperately craved, andâ And Bro heard the warning beep of a low battery. His eyes flew open. âShitfuckdamn,â he hissed, âMy phoneâs about to die!â âWhat? Now?â âI know, fuck!â He was already up off the futon and scrambling for his phone charger. He had no idea where he had last placed it, and he tore through the room, upending smuppets and checking to see if it had gotten tangled up with any of the other wires that crisscrossed the living room floor. He swore, cursing his terrible luck. He was about ready to bust down the door to Daveâs room, obvious boner or not, and demand to use his charger when he spotted the cord.
He breathed a sigh of relief and fished it out from underneath Lilâ Cal, patting him on the head. âThanks for safeguarding this for me, little buddy.â After fumbling with the cable, he finally succeeded in plugging his phone in, and it buzzed happily in response. He stretched the cord as far as it would go and fell back on the futon. âGod, talk about the shittiest timing. Where were we?â âI believe you were supposed to be on top of me?â âOh, yeah.â Bro readjusted the pillow beneath him so that he was pressed up flat against it. âBasically going to town on you, grinding up against your cock and driving myself practicallyâ insaneââ His breath caught in his throat and he wormed a hand between his body and the pillow to grip himself. Egbert chuckled, but it was slightly unsteady, so different from his usual sturdy, calm voice. âTrust me, youâre equally driving me insane.â Broâs only response was a strangled noise as he rutted against the firm pillow, his eyes squeezed shut as if his life depended on it. He was with Egbert, kissing him and carding his fingers through his short hair, secure in his embrace. Egbertâs fingers were gently trailing down his back, lightly skimming against his skin and making him shiver before circling around to trace a path down his stomach. There was only a small part of his brain that was cognizant of the fact that he was alone in his living room and humping his own hand while Dave and John were just down the hall. The rest of him was lost in the dream world that he had conjured, where it was Egbertâs hand that was palming him through his boxers, Egbertâs body that was pressed close to his. He was trying his best to be quiet, but a breathy moan slipped out as he thrust up against the pillow. If he had been in his right mind, he would have had second thoughts about doing so, out of fear of being loud enough that the boys could hear him. Or he would have at least covered the mouthpiece of the phone so that Egbert wouldnât hear him sounding so needy and vulnerable. As it was, he was being driven wild by his overactive imagination and didnât care enough to worry about how he sounded, all he knew was that he was about to burst and yes, fuck yesâ âNot yet,â Egbert said suddenly, his voice catching him off guard. âW-what?â Bro said, stuttering to a halt and opening his eyes. He tried to catch his breath, having unwittingly begun to pant in his feverish haste. âI said, not yet. Iâm not with you right now, I canât temper you like I normally would in this situation, so I need you to slow down for me.â Bro fisted his hands into the pillowcase, groaning as he forced himself to be still. He was in control, he tried to tell himself, but it was hard for him to believe his own words. He wasnât one for edging, lingering on the very brink of climax. He didnât have that kind of self-restraint; he was hasty and preferred to keep things quick and dirty. Because he wasnât used to keeping himself in check, it was almost painful to ignore the pulsing ache below his waistband. To resist from thinking about how badly he desired to give in to his bodyâs needs, he envisioned just what Egbert would do to temper him if he was there with him. Maybe heâd cease all contact entirely, leaving Bro in the lurch without the stimulation he so craved. Maybe heâd forbid Bro from touching himself and make him watch while he himself inched closer to orgasm. Maybe heâd order Bro to pleasure him without allowing him to come. Bro unconsciously shuddered, a shiver of delight racing up his spine at the very thought. Egbert wasnât speaking anymore, and all Bro could hear was the little noises that he was making, the heaviness of his breath and its somewhat stilted cadence. He shut his eyes and simply listened to Egbertâs deep breathing, trying to imagine what he was doing to elicit such a reaction. This was the wrong tack to take, unfortunately, because the mental image of Egbertâs hand working up and down the length of his shaft only made him all the more desperate for release.
âFuck, Egbert, pleaseâŠâ he managed to choke out, trying to keep himself from squirming around like an antsy child. With his brain working overtime, he had almost passed the point of no return and he didnât know how much longer he could hold on. He could hear Egbertâs breath hitch and his name on his lips ââBroderickââ and Bro was gone, unable to restrain himself any longer. But he couldnât feel guilty, because he was pretty sure that Egbert was hitting his peak at the same exact time, and the very knowledge made him come undone. Bro buried his face into the pillow to stifle his gasps, and stars burst behind closed eyelids, white-hot and blinding, as he cut off his air supply and heightened his senses even further. He rocked into the touch of his own hand as he came, unable to think of nothing else but the mantra that was echoing in his head, EgbertEgbertEgbertohgod. When he finally stilled, one last wave of pleasure making him shiver, he surfaced, sucking in gasps of clean air and trying to regain some control over his body. He tossed the pillow that he had been straddling aside and pulled his sticky shirt off, using it to clean himself up and dropping it on the floor to deal with tomorrow. He sank back down onto the mattress, letting the warm afterglow engulf him as he lifted his phone to his ear. âJesus Christ,â he breathed. âIf this was what itâs like not even getting to touch you or see youâŠâ he trailed off. âFuck, I canât wait âtil I get to see you again.â Egbert exhaled, and his voice was warm and content, but tired, when he spoke. âI canât wait either, Broderick.â âYeah. Itâs gonna be awesome. And thanks, Egbert. If itâs not wicked expensive, you should call me again sometime this week, and I can show you a good time.â Even though he knew Egbert couldnât see him, he raised his eyebrows suggestively. Egbert laughed appreciatively. âIt certainly was a good time. I promise Iâll try to call again if I can. Iâm not sure how feasible it is, given the time difference and my business conferences, but weâll see. In any case, goodnight, Broderick. Sleep well. I love you.â âLove you too. Gânight.â There was a click as Egbert hung up, and the apartment was filled with silence once more. And it was with his phone clutched in his hand and a smile on his face that Bro drifted off into a deep, peaceful sleep. -------------------------- Bro awoke the next morning to the sound of someone banging on the door. He groaned and got up, groggily heading for the front door before realizing that the sound was coming from the opposite direction. Bro scrubbed the sleep from his eyes and refocused on the hallway door, a cold wave of shock washing over him as he realized that he had never removed the chest from where it was blocking the entrance to the main room of the apartment. He swore, wide-awake at last, and hightailed it to the door, where he could hear Dave cussing him out. âBro, what the actual fuck? Weâre gonna be late, and itâs all your fault. The fuck are you even doing in there?â âYeah, and Iâm starving!â John chimed in. âI want my Cheerios!â âFuck, hang on! Give a guy a moment, I literally just woke up all of ten seconds ago,â Bro groused, shoving the puppet trunk out of the way and opening the door to find two annoyed teenagers looking up at him. âMan, finally!â John said, ducking under Broâs arms and racing to the kitchen. The bus was due to arrive in four minutes, and as a growing boy, John wasnât about to pass up the chance for breakfast. Dave eyed Bro suspiciously from behind his shades, taking in his disheveled appearance and tousled bedhead. âI donât want to know what you did last night,â he said finally. Bro had the distinct impression that he was being judged. But Dave had no idea what he did last night. The only person who witnessed it was Cal, and if there was one thing about him that Bro loved, it was that Lilâ Cal never judged him. âGood,â Bro said simply. âBecause I donât want to tell you.â He stepped aside to let Dave pass, and they were both perfectly fine with that arrangement.
Bro/Dad:: Houston, We Have a Problem Ch. 14
(Okay, finally done with this chapter! Oh man, I kept running into roadblocks with this one, but hey, itâs done! And itâs long, holy shit, about 6200 words, definitely way longer than all of my other chapters for sure. And first of all, I need to give a huge THANK YOU to gcterezi, puddleofbodka, and karkatswaifu for putting up with me sending them rap lyrics and being like âGUYS THIS SUCKS WAT DO. D:â And thank you to the anon who lit a fire under me and helped me get my rear in gear and finish this thing! Enjoy, guys, and I'm really sorry about the wait. <3)
 Title: Houston, We Have a Problem
Pairing: Bro Strider/Dad Egbert
Rating: Overall: R Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Current chapter: PG-13
Prompt:Â http://homesmut.livejournal.com/11448.html?thread=20410808#t20410808
Summary:Â Despite all of his cockiness, Bro Strider is still a virgin at 31 years old. After taking in a baby when he was 18 and fresh out of high school, he never had the time to really pursue a relationship. But after years of inadvertently cockblocking his older brother, Dave pays him back by introducing him to Mr. Egbert, unwittingly setting off a chain of reactions that results in Bro falling for the elder Egbert.
Chapters: Chapter 1 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 2Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 3 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 4 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 5 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 6 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 7Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 8 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 9 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 10 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 11 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 12 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 13 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 14 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 15 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 16 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 17 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Chapter 18
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Bro was on tenterhooks for a week, waiting for Egbert to tell him about his plans for their big date. Every time he tried to ask about it, Egbert always brushed it off with some cryptic answer or another. Bro was idly contemplating what he had in store for him while he was at work on a busy Thursday night. For some reason, he was distracted tonight, unable to devote his full attention to his job. It wasnât the best state to be in, but he was restless, and his mind kept casting around for things to think about as he methodically worked the turntables. A light bulb inside his head flashed on when he remembered that he had been intending to ask Rufio something. He got a lengthy song rolling and abandoned the DJ booth to push his way through the crowd. Some of the people on the dance floor were muttering darkly and giving him looks, and he knew that he was damaging his reputation as a DJ by skipping out yet again, but he couldnât help it when he got flighty. He mentally promised himself that heâd make it up to his patrons when he returned to the booth, and he sidled up to the bar. âBro, youâre not supposed to come up here anymore,â Rufio said warningly, eying him while he finished preparing a drink for a customer. âYeah, yeah, I know,â Bro said, waving away his words. After the last fiasco, his boss had explicitly forbidden him from taking breaks on his shift, but he didnât care about consequences. âThis is legitimately only going to take two seconds. I got this sweet new game, wanna come over tomorrow so I can wipe the floor with you?â Rufio snorted. âYeah, youâre going down. You mess with the bull, you get the horns.â âBring it on, Ruf. Bring. It. On.â âIâm bringing it, believe me. But, uh, I might have to bring my kid too. Tav accidentally started some literal sick fires the last time I left him unattended.â Bro sniggered in appreciation. âYeah, sure, let him tag along. He can chill with Dave. God knows he could use the company, since heâs still a little blue.â âYeah, so could Tavros, actually. Youâve met him, you know what heâs like, always optimistic and happy, but still, heâs been having it rough lately. Hanging out with someone who doesnât want to kill him or make fun of him would definitely do him some good.â Bro met Rufioâs gaze. âAbout the two of them â are you thinking what Iâm thinking?â Rufio smirked. âYeah, I think so. You know what they say, great mindsâŠâ ââŠthink alike. Fuck yeah, letâs do this shit up right!â They high-fived triumphantly, and Bro skittered back to the DJ booth before his boss caught wind of his absence. -------------------------- The next day, it occurred to Bro that he probably should at least warn Dave about their visitors. He knocked on the bedroom door and opened it to find Dave sprawled out on his bed doing homework like he always did after school on Fridays, so he could enjoy the weekend without it hanging over his head. âHey, little bro, I forgot to tell you â Rufâs stopping by to thrash up some mad stunts on the Xbox, and heâs bringing his kid with him.â âWhat, am I supposed to entertain him?â Dave asked, looking up from his math textbook. âSomething like that, yeah. We figured you could just chill out with him. Heâs a nice kid, your age, maybe a bit dorky and has a stuttering problem, but heâs cool in his own way.â âBro, I donât want to spend my Friday night hanging out with some awkward stuttering dork.â Bro leaned against the wall. âCome on, give it a shot,â he encouraged. âThink of him like heâs E. Coli bacteria, and youâre a slab of room-temperature Canadian beef. Heâll grow on you.â âDude, you equating him with bacteria does not make me any more thrilled about hanging out with some kid I donât even know.â
Bro grinned. âHey, donât judge before you meet him. You might get along with him. You know, heâs into fairies just like you wereâŠâ âWill you stop bringing that up! I was in kindergarten, fuck you!â âI still have that magic wand we stole from there, you know. You can probably seduce him with itâŠâ Realization dawned on Dave. âOh my god, youâre trying to set me up with him, arenât you. I am not in the mood for this, Bro, not after what happened with John.â âWell, I have it on good authority that, unlike John, he happens to be interested in guys. Apparently he had the biggest crush on Peter Pan growing up.â âHe sounds like a complete tool,â Dave said flatly. âYouâre a complete tool.â âYour face is a complete tool.â âYour mom is a complete tool.â âBro, I donât have a mom.â A lengthy silence ensued. ââŠWould Egbert be an appropriate substitute?â There was a momentâs pause as Bro briefly considered a mama Egbert clad in nothing but an apron and Dave envisioned a mother who always had a slice of red velvet cake and a glass of milk waiting as an afterschool snack. Dave was the first to recover and fire back another comeback. â Mr. Egbert is a complete tool!â âFuck you,â Bro replied, smacking him upside the head and heading for the kitchen to graze on frozen chicken wings. He was halfway through his tenth wing when his cell-phone started blaring âI Wonât Say Iâm in Love,â the ringtone that he assigned to Egbertâs phone number for ironic purposes. He snapped it up and held it to his ear, already talking before the caller could get a word in edgewise. âSâup, Egbert? You have uncanny timing, I was just contemplating you wearing nothing but an apron.â He went back to chewing on the chicken bone. Egbert, who was used to Broâs unconventional greetings by now, took this information in stride. âA charming image, Iâm sure you find it. Iâll keep that in mind for future reference.â âFuck yes, I am on board with this idea.â âMay I ask what prompted such a thought?â âWhat, canât a guy picture his boyfriend half-naked in peace without the prude police getting all up in his grill? Nah, it stemmed from a âyour momâ joke. I asked Dave if youâd be an appropriate substitute for the mom that he doesnât have, and then that naturally led to me thinking of you being in the kitchen and baking with just a little frilly apron on to hide your glorious manhood from my virgin eyes in the most tantalizing fashion.â âNaturally. Well, Iâll wear the title of Honorary Mother with pride,â Egbert said, and Bro could hear the smile in his voice. âI am calling for a reason, though. Would it be all right if I stop by on my way home from work? I have something that I need to tell you, and Iâd rather do it in person.â âWhy is that even a question?â Bro deadpanned. âItâs not like youâre never not welcome in my humble abode. Iâve just got a friend coming over in a couple hours for an epic video game session, thatâs all.â âWell, Iâll be sure not to overstay my welcome, then. And it is good form to ask anyway, I wouldnât want to intrude.â âYou can intrude on me any day.â Bro put down the clean chicken bone and ripped off a piece of another wing with his teeth. âAnd yes, I mean that exactly the way it sounds.â âYour innuendââ Egbert interrupted himself mid-word to ask, âAre you chewing while youâre talking?â Bro swallowed his bite of food. âNot anymore.â âI donât know whether to find the fact that youâre eating while youâre on the phone with me exasperating or bizarrely endearing.â âThe latter, obviously. Iâm an endearing dude, just call me Mr. Huggy Bear.â âFine, Mr. Huggy Bear, Iâll be over in an hour and half or so.â âSweet, see you then. Love you.â Bro still got a thrill of delight every time he got to say out loud that he loved Egbert. That giddiness of loving someone and being loved never dimmed, not when he had been so starved for affection after so many years of being single. âI love you too,â Egbert replied, and Bro hung up with a faint smile on his face. He was in a good mood; things were finally looking up for him, and he was positive that Egbert was at last about to spring the news on him about that much anticipated, mysterious date.
He wasted time messing around on his computer and browsing through his Complete Bullshit content aggregator. He had just moused over a websiteâs strip and prepared to click on it âPimped out puppets cam! All puppets, all pimp!âwhen the buzzer sounded, and he sprang from his seat to let Egbert in. âHey,â he said as he opened the door to find Egbert sharply dressed as ever and carrying his briefcase. He took a brief moment to appreciate Egbertâs dashing good looks before launching into the question he had been dying to ask, refusing to get sidetracked by his attraction to Egbertâs business attire. âSo, whatâs the big news?â âWell,â Egbert said, shrugging off his suit jacket and loosening his tie. âI have good news, and I have bad news. Which would you rather hear first?â âBad. Letâs just get that shit out of the way now.â Egbert sighed and placed a hand on the small of Broâs back, guiding him over to the futon. Bro couldnât help but feel a ripple of trepidation as they sat down and Egbert laced his fingers through his own. âIâm being sent on an international business trip to Germany. Iâll be gone for a week.â Bro stared at him, trying to process the implications of this statement. Not only was their momentous date being postponed, he was going to have to spend a week separated from his boyfriend by the vast ocean and a six hour time difference. âAre you fucking kidding me?â he asked, aghast. âIs this one of your stupid pranks?â âI wish it was,â Egbert said wryly. âBut alas, itâs not.â Bro exhaled, leaning back and rubbing his free hand over his face. âWhen do you leave?â âSunday night, and Iâll be returning the following Monday morning. Iâm afraid itâs rather short notice, but my boss requested me, and I canât very well say no.â âDoesnât mean I canât be upset about it.â âTrust me, I am too,â Egbert assured him, stroking the pad of his thumb over the back of Broâs hand. âAnd I hate to spring this on you now, but I have a favor to ask of you.â âYeah, anything,â Bro said, and he meant it, he would willingly do whatever Egbert asked of him. âItâs about John. Back in Washington, I would ordinarily ask a neighbor to look after John when I had to leave on business trips, but Iâm afraid Iâm not quite as familiar with our new neighbors to the extent that Iâd feel comfortable asking them such a thing. Would you mind taking John in, just for the week?â âYeah, why not?â Bro said, shrugging. Heâd more or less patched things up with the younger Egbert after Dave told him about Johnâs apology, even if he was still a little sore over the whole incident. âHe can crash on a sleeping bag in Daveâs room, no big deal.â âThank you, Broderick,â Egbert said, gratefully squeezing his hand before letting go of it and running his own hand up Broâs back to rest on his neck. âIâm sorry that this had to happen, I know itâs not ideal timingââ âThe world is conspiring to prevent me from getting laid.â âI understand, I know how it feels,â Egbert said, his fingers rubbing slow, soothing circles at the base of his skull. Bro sighed, gloom settling down around him, and he leaned into Egbert, who wrapped an arm around his shoulders. âGuess Iâm gonna have to get my weekâs worth of Egbert Time in now. Iâm gonna miss you,â he murmured. Egbert kissed the top of his head. âNot as much as Iâm going to miss you,â he stated matter-of-factly. Bro laughed a little. âFuck, weâre turning into one of Those Couples, arenât we?â He adopted a high-pitched, mocking tone. ââI love you.â âNo, I love you more, babycakes.â âNot as much as I love you, sweetcheeks!ââ âI am surprisingly okay with this status." âYeah, I am too, as sappy as it sounds.â Bro rested his head on Egbertâs shoulder, and they settled into a comfortable silence. The news that Egbert was about to leave the country made Broâs heart ache a little, and he was surprised to realize just how much he was going to miss him. He dwelled on his relationship, feeling strangely warm and fuzzy on the inside. He had never loved or trusted someone so much before â not like this, never like this. And a wild, crazy idea occurred to him, the ultimate display of trust he could give Egbert and show him the extent of his feelings for him.
He spoke up suddenly, breaking the quiet atmosphere. âHey, did I ever tell you my whole name?â Egbert frowned, thinking back on it. âYou know, I donât think you ever did. Come to think of it, I just assumed upon first meeting you that your full name was Broderick Strider, given your nickname.â As the realization dawned on him, his face drained of all color and he looked a little horror-stricken. âOh dear, I hope that wasnât presumptuous of meâŠâ âRight, well, I donât exactly go around telling people my history when it comes to names, but⊠I wanted to tell you.â He took a deep breath, wondering for one split second why he was even entertaining this insane notion of baring his deepest secret. âMy given name was Dirk. Dirk Strider.â His nose wrinkled like he smelled something sour. âAfter a lifetime of being referred to as Dork, Dick, Derp, and Haha-Your Name-Sounds -Like-A-Porn-Star, I got sick of it. It never suited me anyway. Legally changed my name to Bro when I was 18, since thatâs what I was exclusively going by when high school happened, and I never looked back.â Egbert looked gobsmacked, for lack of a better word. âBroderick, Iâ Ah, but no, thatâs not even your name, I canât call you that any longerââ âIf you call me Dirk, I will not hesitate to punch you in the gonads,â Bro flatly informed him. âBut itâs your birth name!â âYeah, the birth name given to me by the jackasses at the foster agency, which, by the way, is a time of my life that Iâd really prefer to forget. I donât need any more ties to it, and I donât need to be reminded of it every time someone calls me that. Maybe on another day in another life, the name would have been okay, maybe even cool⊠but for me? I donât answer to it.â âI just,â Egbert started, trying to wrap his mind around this revelation. âI cannot believe I have been calling you by a fabricated name all this time. Iâm so sorry,â he said, his expression somewhat pained. âNo, man, youâre not getting it.â Bro crawled into Egbertâs lap and held his face in his hands. âI like it when you call me Broderick. Youâre the only person who calls me by a real name, not just my nickname. It makes you special. And hey, if it bothers you that much, I guess itâs not too much of a stretch â Broderick, Derick, DirkâŠâ He trailed off and shrugged a little. âAnd by the way⊠youâre the only person who knows about that name. Iâve never told Dave. Nor Rufio or any of my other buds. Just you.â He paused to let the gravity of that statement sink in, but Egbert still looked troubled. Bro exhaled and flipped the other manâs fedora off of his head so that he could run his fingers through his short hair. He felt a little guilty himself, wishing that he hadnât dropped the bombshell after all. âEgbert. I didnât tell you this because I wanted to make you feel bad, I told you because I wanted to, I donât know, give you a part of me that nobody else knows about. Now call me by my name. My real name. Your name for me.â Egbert hesitated, then smiled. âFine, Broderick. If thatâs what you want. And Iâm honored that youâd entrust me with such a personal detail.â âNow youâre getting it,â Bro said, grinning as he leaned in to kiss Egbert before slipping off his lap and tucking himself under his arm once more. âOh, yeah, and what was the good news?â he added as an afterthought, keen to hear what else Egbert had to say. âAh, yes! Well, youâll be happy to know that I finally ironed out the details for our upcoming date.â âYeah?â Bro said, excited in spite of himself. âYes, Iâve managed to procure tickets to a play that I think youâll find interesting.â âOh.â Bro deflated a little, somewhat disappointed at the lackluster reveal. He wasnât exceptionally interested in the fine arts, but if Egbert wanted to go to a play, he was willing to go along with it. âWhat is it?â âAre you familiar with a musical called Avenue Q?â The gears in Broâs brain grinded to a halt. âAm I⊠familiar with it? No, I only have the entire soundtrack on my iPod and the lyrics to âIf You Were Gayâ more or less constantly playing in my head. Youâre saying you got tickets. To see a production of Avenue Q.â He was still trying to wrap his head around the information Egbert was feeding him.
âYes. I just thought it would be something that you would enjoy.â Egbertâs smile wavered hesitantly, a flicker of worry in his blue eyes. Realizing that he was giving off the wrong impression, Bro hastened to fix things and assuage his doubts. He slung a leg over Egbertâs hips and kissed him, long and hard, before breaking away breathlessly. âGod, I love you,â he gasped. âYou beautiful bastard, you. Fuck yes, I am going to enjoy this! Shit.â He took off his baseball cap and ran his fingers through his hair. âShit,â he repeated. âI canât believe you got tickets for Avenue Q. Thatâs like my entire fucking lifeâs dream right there.â Egbert beamed at him, relieved at his reception. âIâm glad youâre excited, and hopefully it will live up to expectations.â âMan, judging by the awesome as fuck music and the fact that it revolves around puppets, Iâm sure it will. Iâve gotta say, Iâm really looking forward to this date, and not just because of the sweet music weâre going to be making when we get back to your houseâŠâ Bro smirked and raised a suggestive eyebrow. Egbert opened his mouth to shoot back a quip of his own, but they both suddenly jumped at the loud and abrasive sound of the apartment buzzer. âOh, yeah, thatâd be Ruf and his kid,â Bro said, getting up from his seat to buzz them in through the front door. âAh, right. Well, I suppose itâs time for me to get going as well. I ought to get home and see what Johnâs been getting himself into.â Egbert stood up and collected his briefcase along with the fedora that Bro had carelessly dropped on the floor. âYeah,â Bro said. He was waffling back and forth on whether or not to say what was on his mind when he decided to just go for it. He didnât care if it made him sound like a doting housewife. âHave a safe flight,â he said, and he could feel his levels of cool dropping like a stone. Egbert smiled at him as he placed his fedora on his head and straightened it out. âThank you, Broderick, that was very considerate of you.â âYeah, well, what can I say, youâre turning me into fucking Miss Manners over here,â Bro said, casually stuffing his hands in his pocket. He dropped his voice and said lowly, âBut seriously. If you get in a plane accident and dive-bomb into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, I will kill you.â âYour pteromerhanophobia truly astounds me.â âMy pterodactyl is awesome.â âThat doesnât make any sense. Neither does your statement that youâll kill me if I do, god forbid, get in a plane accident, considering that that extremely unlikely event would probably result in my death. I can assure you that it will not happen, given that air travel is far safer than driving my car.â âYou donât make any sense,â Bro retorted childishly, just as they heard the sound of someone knocking at the apartment door. Bro gave him a smug look, satisfied at having gotten the last word in, and opened the door to find Rufio standing there, towering a good few inches over him as usual. âSâup, man?â he said, giving Rufio a fist-bump in greeting and stepping back to let him and the teenager tagging along behind him inside. âYo,â Rufio said, nodding at both Bro and Egbert. âHello, Rufio,â Egbert said pleasantly. âIs this your son, I take it?â âYeah, this is my boy.â He placed a hand on Tavrosâs head. âTavros, youâve met Bro before, and this is his man, Mr. Egbert.â âUm, hi,â Tavros said with a shy, crooked grin. âWell, itâs a pleasure to meet you, Tavros,â Egbert said, shaking his hand with a firm, manly grip. Tavros seemed slightly awed at his presence, not-so-subtly staring him with wide eyes. Egbert was oblivious to the attention, turning to face Bro and bid him goodbye. âI suppose I shall be taking my leave now, then,â he said, regret in his eyes. Broâs heart sunk in his chest. Scarcely aware of his automatic actions, he placed a hand on the small of Egbertâs back and led him over to the door, drawing him aside for a quick moment of privacy. âYeah. Iâd invite you to stay, but I donât really think itâs your kind of sceneâŠâ he said, trailing off apologetically.
âNo, I completely understand, and I donât think Iâd be all that interested anyway,â Egbert said, his tone lighthearted. âIâll talk to you later, Broderick, and Iâll see you first thing next Monday morning when Iâm back in the States. I love you.â âLove you too. See you.â Bro gave him a quick, chaste kiss and handed him his jacket. He watched Egbert walk down the hallway to the staircase until he was out of sight, his brow creased almost imperceptibly. He was already unhappy with the thought of not seeing Egbert again for a full nine days, after getting so used to seeing him whenever he wanted. Behind him, he heard a small, happy sigh, which he was 99.9% positive did not come from Rufio. He turned around and looked at Tavros, who had a dreamy half-smile on his face. âWhat are you smiling at?â he asked, raising an eyebrow. Tavrosâs expression immediately shifted gears, freezing like a deer in headlights at the realization that he hadnât gone unnoticed. ââMy boyâs a hopeless romantic at heart,â Rufio explained, a wicked smirk curling the corner of his mouth. âItâs like I keep telling him, someday his princeâll come, you just gotta believe in that.â He ruffled Tavrosâs mohawk. Tavros growled under his breath and smoothed it back into place, trying to hide his embarrassment. âWhat, so me and Egbert got us a fanboy, then? I mean, obviously, weâre the poster child of pure and chivalrous relationships, Iâm the goddamn Cinderella to his Prince Charming. The sheer power of our love for each other is enough to make even the most staunch-hearted swoon like schoolgirlsâŠâ Tavros looked like he wanted to sink into a hole in the ground. Bro grinned, thoroughly amused at the situation. He could have continued ragging on him, but the poor kid was shifting from foot to foot, and he decided to give him a break. Besides, he needed to get Dave in the picture. âHey Dave, your playdateâs here!â Bro shouted. He could hear Dave grumble as he emerged from the hallway, thoroughly unenthused. Tavros laughed somewhat nervously. âOh, haha, I wasnât aware, that this was a playdate⊠Or, uh, what kind of play that phrase would entail.â âNothing dirty about this play, if thatâs what youâre thinking. Jesus dick, get your mind out of the gutter, man.â Tavrosâs face flooded with color. âUm. I wasnât trying to imply anything, uh, sexual, if thatâs what youâre referring to. Wow, okay, Iâm really uncomfortable right now, sorry if I gave that impression, I didnât meanââ âChill, dude,â Dave interrupted. âIâm just yanking your chain. Itâs not a playdate, my broâs just being stupid.â âDave, you really need to watch your language against me,â Bro admonished. âI have 14 years worth of dirt on you and no qualms about spilling it. So stop being a dick. This is Tavros, Rufioâs kid. Tav, this is my baby brother, Dave.â Tavros was clearly already over his momentary discomfort, grateful to Bro for rescuing him. âHiiii,â he said with a little wave, his eyes shining with eagerness and a wide grin on his face. There was a pregnant pause until Dave finally said, âHey.â To his credit, Tavrosâs excitement at meeting someone new didnât waver. âOkay, introductionâs over,â Bro said, clapping them both on their backs and accidentally knocking them into each other. Tavros yelped in surprise and Dave scowled as adjusted his shades, which had been knocked askew. âYeah, so hit the halls, amigos,â Rufio said. He was already on the futon, messing around with the XBox controllers. âThe big boys here are domineering the living room,â Bro finished. They simultaneously pointed at the hallway door. âJesus Christ,â Dave muttered. He exhaled through his nose and jerked his head towards the doorway. âCome on,â he said to Tavros and headed in the direction of his room, with his guest trailing along behind him. He opened the bedroom door and flicked the lights on, wondering what the hell he was supposed to say now and cursing Bro for putting him in this awkward position. He neednât have been worried, however, since Tavros had plenty to talk about without being prompted. He gazed around the small room, drinking in the aura of cool.
When his gaze landed on Daveâs turntables, he immediately zeroed in on them. âOh man, check out that totally awesome gear!â he said, an envious glint shining in his eyes. Dave reconsidered his initial assumptions; maybe Tavros wasnât as lame as he thought, if he was into his mixing gear and record collection. âPretty sweet, am I right?â he said. âThis shitâs fresher than the Prince of Bel-Air.â Tavros giggled a little at that. âOh, yeah, thatâs pretty fresh! Um, can I assume that you like throwing down sick beats and spitting rhymes, then?â âYeah, why, do you rap too?â âUh-huh!â Tavros beamed at him, and Daveâs mood lifted somewhat. Tavrosâs enthusiasm was contagious, and despite his evident dorkiness and lack of social skills, he at least had good taste when it came to interests. âYeah? Fine, letâs see what youâve got,â he said, falling back onto his bed and lacing his hands behind his head. Tavros followed suit, climbing onto the end of Daveâs bed and tucking his feet underneath him. Dave started to say something about personal boundaries and not crawling over peopleâs furniture without asking first, but he decided to let it slide. âYou mean, like a rap-off?â Tavros asked. âFuck yes. Come on, Nitram, bring it. Letâs start some sick fires, just you and me.â Tavros bared his teeth in a wide grin. âThese incendiaries are most definitely going to be so unhealthy, theyâll, uh, be in dire need of medical attention.â âDamn straight they will. Gonna have to rush them to the emergency room and get some hapless sap to breathe air anew into them with the Kiss of Life, because they are just that deliriously ill. Letâs do this, man. Hit it,â Dave said, nodding at him to begin. Tavros took a deep breath before launching into his rap. âWell, I notice that you donât want to be the first, because I am the best and you are the worst. You know deep down inside that this is true, when Iâm through with you, theyâll be calling Code Blue. My rapping skills will put you to shame, because that is the way that we play this game. Kicking this over for you to take your turn. Itâs just too bad that youâre gonna burn!â âTav, come on, you gotta be trolling me. This shitâs so weak, even you gotta see, that your lame name game and callinâ me the worst shows that you know shit about who comes in first. Iâm immersed in an avalanche of obscene suckitude, freestylinâ with someone with no rhythm accrued. And if you canât admit that this fact is true, you can just go and fucking suck it, dude. âCause Iâve got a shit-ton more gumption than President Nixon, Iâm a playaâ whoâs ballinâ, I know what youâre thinkinâ. Thereâs a swirling vortex of cocks and dicks-in, your mindâs eye, donât try to deny, that my Watergate flow is sicker than you know. Get that blowchute open, prepare to eat crow.â Daveâs smirk grew broader as Tavrosâs face colored and he stammered out a feeble protest. The best part of rap battles was trying to throw your opponent for a loop and trip them up, and it looked like heâd found Tavrosâs kryptonite. âThe bottom line is if you wanna impress me, there better be something hidden up your sleeve. Gotta man up and show me what else youâve got. Itâs your turn now, so baby drop it like itâs hotââ ââIâll still give it a shot, and win this rap battlecal, because my moves are sick and my beats are so radical!â Tavros recovered in record time and shot back a retort of his own, making Dave laugh in genuine admiration for his resilience. âAnd this beat is as ill as your lame-ass rhymes, which are lame like your ass, which is totally not fine!â Bro and Rufio were listening in as they sat on the floor outside of Daveâs room, huddled together with their ears pressed against the wall. Bro snorted softly. âThis is rapidly decelerating into the shittiest gay-off Iâve ever heard. Daveâs gotta be nervous or taking it easy on your kid or something if this is the kind of stuff heâs spewing. Kind of want to go barge in there and tell them that both of their rhymes suck. Give them a lesson on how to seriously throw down some sicknasty beats.â âYeah, well , as awesome as it would be to schoolfeed them on how itâs really done⊠Donât do it, Bro. Itâll kill the mood.â
âThe mooooooood.â Bro snickered and started singing under his breath, âCan you feel⊠the love tonight?â Tavros was mid-verse when Dave interrupted, holding up a hand to shush him. âWait. Do you hear something?â âUh.â Tavros listened. âYeah, I donât really know what it is, though.â Dave opened the door to his bedroom, and they looked down to find their respective guardians holding each other, softly crooning the lyrics to an Elton John song. Dave was unimpressed. âSeriously, Bro? Seriously?â âHey little bro, howâs it hanging?â âDude, what is even with you. I thought you guys were playing video games. Get out.â âOh, I see how it is. You want some privacy. Fine, I guess we can give you that. What do you say, Ruf? We can load up, weâll party, maybe go down to the club and slip people someâŠâ âDonât even, Bro. I know what youâre going to say, and Iâll punch you if you say itââ âRoofies.â âThatâs a stupid joke, and you need to stop being a dick and slipping it in every chance you get,â Rufio told him, punching him in the shoulder. Dave exhaled through his nose. âJust beat it, okay?â He shut the door to his room, and the guardians could hear Tavrosâs slightly nervous, apologetic voice floating through the wall. âIâm better when I have notes to go off of instead of just, um, having to think of it, in the heat of the moment.â âNah, man, youâre cool. It just takes mad skills to top Strider talent, thatâs all.â Bro jerked his head towards the living room. âCâmon, dude, letâs split. Besides, I still need to whoop your ass at this game.â âYou wish! No, but seriously,â Rufio said as they got up off the floor and headed for the futon. âI think Daveâs doing Tavros some good. I havenât heard him sound so confident in ages.â âYeah, likewise. I mean, he made Dave really laugh for the first time since shit went down with John.â Bro scooped up the controllers, handing one over and flopping down on the couch. âYou think we did good?â Rufio asked, turning to look at him. âYeah, man, we did good.â âGood. Alright, now itâs time for me show you how itâs really done and obliterate you on Broblerone.â Rufio said, smirking at him. âLike fuck you will!â Bro shoved him with his shoulder and they dived into the game. -------------------------- Three hours later, and they were forced to admit that they were going to have to call it a draw. They were too evenly matched and couldnât break the cycle of tying with each other. âOkay, fine, weâre done,â Rufio said, throwing the controller on the ground and stretching out his long legs. âYeah, this isnât going anywhere,â Bro admitted, yawning as he stood up and cracked his neck in a series of satisfying pops. âWeâll have a rematch sometime to see who really is boss.â âSounds like a plan. Guess itâs time to go collect my kid, then.â They headed to Daveâs room, and paused for a moment to listen. They could hear Tavros laughing while Dave spoke, and Rufio looked at Bro questioningly. Bro shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, so Rufio went ahead and knocked on the door out of courtesy before opening it. âHey little man,â he said, sticking his head into the room. âTime to go.â Dave was showing Tavros the archives of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, and they both looked mildly disappointed at the news. âOh,â Tavros said. âUh, okay.â âIâll show you the rest of it another time,â Dave told him as he exited out of the obnoxiously colorful website. âIâd like that.â
âAce.â âSorry, little buddy,â Rufio said as they made their way out to the living room. âBut we do need to hit the road. I want to stop at the store and pick up some taco shells for dinner before we head home.â âOh, well, I can never say no to tacosâŠâ âI know, Tav, I know. Alright, well, thanks for inviting us over, Bro. See you at work tomorrow.â âNo problem, man,â Bro said, lifting a hand in farewell. âBye, Dave!â Tavros waved goodbye to him before following Rufio to the door. âHey,â Dave said suddenly. âTavros.â âHuh?â Tavros turned around in confusion. âDo you, I donât know, have a screen name or something?â Bro and Rufio exchanged smug grins of satisfaction over the tops of their boysâ heads. Tavrosâs face lit up. âOh, yesss! Uh, itâs adiosToreador,â he said with barely-concealed excitement. âTurntechGodhead at your service. Maybe weâll talk sometime or something.â âYeah, we most definitely will have to make that a thing that happens.â âCool.â Dave offered him the smallest of smiles, a corner of his mouth twitching upwards. The radiant grin that Tavros offered him in return made up for his own reservation, however. âUh, where doing this man?â he said, his voice raising into a question at the end of his sentence, hoping that he was using the reference appropriately. Daveâs smile grew. âWhere making this hapen. Later, dude.â âBye!â âTalk to you later, Bro,â Rufio said, giving him a knowing look as he placed a hand on Tavrosâs shoulder and steered him out the door. âCatch you on the flipside.â As soon as the door shut behind their guests, Bro rounded on Dave, just like he knew that Rufio was already grilling Tavros. âSo.â âSo?â Dave raised his eyebrows. âSo weâve got a lot to talk about, little bro. First order of business: what happened? You completely choked on that rapping. What, were you too nervous about there being a cute boy in your bedroom? Cause thatâs gotta be the only reason why those so-called fly beats werenât up to scratch.â âBroâŠâ Dave growled in warning. Bro wasnât concerned, he knew that Dave was just covering for his humiliation. âThe sexual innuendo was a nice touch, Iâll give you that, but next time you might wanna try to be a little more subtle. You think I bagged Egbert by throwing out a veritable cornucopia of neon signs emblazoned with perverse quips and blatant insinuations about how much I want to do him?â âYes,â Dave said bald-facedly. Bro eyed him. âTouchĂ©,â he finally said. âWell, whatâd you think of him overall?â Dave shrugged his shoulders. âHe wasnât totally uncool,â he said nonchalantly. âHigh praise from a Strider,â Bro said, offering him a stoic fist bump, which Dave accepted. Bro watched as he walked back to his room, and while Dave never would have said so, Bro could sense that he was feeling at least slightly warm and fuzzy inside. And even Bro had to admit that he was feeling a little bit of the same himself. As hard as he was on Dave about his rapping, Bro was proud of him, and it was refreshing to see Dave break out of his slump. Maybe now, Bro thought as he picked up Lilâ Cal and set him on his shoulder, this was the turning point for him.