When a colleague sent me an article titledĀ How To Convince A Girl To Get An Abortion, I was pretty sure it was satire. I mean, abortion activistsĀ haveĀ been increasingly less apologetic about their penchant for feticide, academicsĀ haveĀ been kowtowing to the idea of āforced fatherhood,ā and āabortion contractsā may become āa thing,ā but seriously? Surely no guy is willing to brazenly confess what IĀ routinelyĀ accuseĀ them of: That they are quite simply willing to satiate their sexual appetites regardless of who gets killed in the process.
Well, no longer. A writer for the ironically titled websiteĀ Return of KingsĀ is willing to come out waving his bloodstained cad flag boldly. He has bravely given himself the pseudonym āBaconā (which translates more or less into āDead Pig,ā I should think) and describes himself as āa libertarian that enjoys spending his time in developed countries.ā This solidifys my suspicion that ālibertariansā who carry their views from the realm of political theory into the social context rapidly become unabashed ālibertinesā and are only āliberatedā from their pants, at the expense of everybody around them.
Mr. Bacon describes three ways that he talks girls unfortunate enough to have had the experience of sleeping with him: the āHail Mary,ā the āAsshole Method,ā and the āWildcard Method.ā In the first, Mr. Bacon writes with the subtly of a drunk Robert Pickton, the āmanā should tell the girl in the sweetest way possible that āif she has the abortion now, you will be able to plan your lives together so that everything is perfect. Then, after she agrees and has the abortion, dump her.ā Baby in the dumpster, Mommy on the doorstep, and Mr. Bacon is a sizzling bachelor. Welcome to 21stĀ century feminism, ladies and gentlemen. Itās to die for.
The āAsshole Methodā is pretty much precisely what it sounds like: Tell the girl, Mr. Bacon advises us with all the charm of a date rapist, that you wonāt stick around if she keeps the baby, that you refuse to be a father, and that youāre going to drive her to the abortion clinic right now. The difficult part for those with feelings and some residual humanity, he admits, is that you need to ākeep your emotions in check the whole time. If you budge on that, she could doubt your sincerity and be swayed to keep the kid.ā The result, of course, is the same: A dead baby, a betrayed girlābut!āliberty for Mr. Bacon! Thereās always more victims where they came from, and the guillotines of the Sexual Revolution are a short trip to the local Planned Parenthood away.
The āWildcard Methodā is simpleājust lie like a psychopath until she caves. You have a disease (no argument there), your genetics are terrible (nature versus nurture?), and the child will have a terrible life, etc. Once youāve scared her into offing your kid, run like crazy.
Iām not sure thereās anything one can really say about this article beyond what The Dead Pig has already written. But I checked to see what else he had written, and apparently, he has the moral character of a concentration camp guard. His previous article was entitled āGot a Girl at your Crib? Feed Her These Drinks,ā and then details how to unleash an intoxicant attack on the female frontal lobe until their judgement is diminished enough to climb into bed. Hereās one line: āGentlemen this cocktail is in many ways the equivalent to spiking a girlās drink with roofies but with none of the legal and moral complications. Basically, if the devil was serving a punch bowl to a bunch of church ladies this would be his recipe.ā
Iād like to be surprised, but Iāve met guys like this. Most of us probably have. Mr. Bacon is not aloneāthere are plenty of swine out there trying to oink just like him. Theyāre carnivorous, cannibalistic, and uninhibitedāand the kindly ladies of the Sexual Revolution were the ones kind enough to unleash them on your daughters. Caddish men no longer have to hide their baser urgesāwomen now play the game too, and itās all about who can sufficiently intoxicate the other. And if you knock someone up and have your kid killed, hey! Itās blog fodder. As Tennyson wrote:
Rip your brothers' vices open, strip your own foul passions bare;
Down with Reticence, down with Reverence--forward--naked--let them stare.
Mr. Bacon has given us all a good look at what āliberatedā society becomes: A torrid group of deadbeat dads and moms willing to give up their children for one night stands.