#brittanywrites

A small gray canine was sitting on the bed next to you, her tail wagging swiftly behind her. The second your eyes meet hers, she bends down, attacking you with kisses yet again.

(Oh, Tessa.)

You push away from her, a soft smile coming to your face as you wipe away the slobbery wetness from your cheeks. (God I am so tired). As you slowly fluttered your eyes awake, adjusting to the bright lights coming in through the bedroom window, you took notice of your surroundings.

Tom’s childhood bedroom was nothing super fancy. It was small and cozy including many posters, friendly photos, and stickers that hung proudly on the walls. Not to mention the mass amount of Spider-Man gadgets around the room. The large bed in the center completed the room where you and Tom previously slept the night before.

Slowly petting Tessa beside you, you took notice of the red ribbon wrapped around her neck. (Well, this is new.) You took the material in between your fingers, rubbing it lightly.

“Shit. Fu—Tessa.” The raspy whispers brought your head up to the doorway, seeing your boyfriend quickly enter the room. “Fuck. Y/N, I’m so sorry...Tessa, come here.” His voice is still a hushed whisper as he shoos her off the bed and out of the room. He gives her a quick kiss on the head and taps her bum as she runs out of the room, the large ribbon around her neck flying wickedly. Tom quietly closes the door behind her, turning to you with a soft, sympathetic smile. “I am so sorry, darlin’.”

You couldn’t help your eyes as you scanned him over. He was wearing a black hoodie and your favorite pair of his pajama pants, plaid blue and black. He makes his way over to you, dropping his knee on the bed as he leans over to place a kiss on your head. “Good morning.”

You closed your eyes at the pressure of his lips on your hair, a low hum escaping you. “What time is it?” You asked, wiping away sleep you had left in your eyes.  

He pulled back the covers of the bed, shuffling underneath it to lay next to you. You saw him pull out his phone from his pajama pants, the screen coming alive with the time. “About 9:40,” he read before unlocking his phone, going through his notifications.

You tried not to peak at the mass amount of text messages he’s received from his friends, Zendaya being one of the first he opened. Upon seeing the name, your mind was brought back to your dream of the night, your heart heavy as you replayed it in your mind. Of course you wished you didn’t feel the way you did. Unfortunately, your subconscious knew your heart better than you did, frequently coming up with scenarios your heart was so anxiously aching to. You almost felt guilty, having him so close to you with such thoughts running through your brain. “Is everyone else up?”

Your stomach turned as he simply smiled at his phone, his fingers quickly replying back to the message. (He doesn’t even hear me anymore.) Upon finishing his message, he finally replies. “Yeah,” he drops his phone on the bed and wraps his arm around you. “We’ve all been awake for hours.” He lays his chin atop your head, closing his eyes with a soft sigh.

These are the moments you missed most when he was gone. Tom used to be so good at making you feel loved, making you feel safe. Now? You don’t really know. “Why didn’t you wake me?” You ask, your fingers rubbing the material of his sweatshirt between your fingers.

“I know you didn’t sleep well last night. I felt you tossing a good toll of the night.” You could feel the vibrations off his chest as he spoke, “Honestly, I’m not surprised. I’ve always found it hard to sleep the night before Christmas.”

(Good job, Y/N.)

“Paddy really wanted me to wake you up. He’s dying to open presents.” He chuckles, slightly pulling away to look down at your face. “We had to tell him to wait.”

You put a hand to your face, silently cursing yourself for almost forgetting it was such an important day. Even more, you were so inconsiderate that you had everyone wait up for you. “Guess I was just too excited myself.” You force out a faint chuckle. That was a lie and you knew it. You spent over half the night having a debate with yourself regarding your relationship with the boy lying next to you.

“Don’t worry about it, babe.” He presses yet another kiss on top of your head. His phone vibrates on the bed, a call coming through. “Oh, it’s Z!” He removes himself from beside you, getting up off the bed. He doesn’t even give you a second look as he takes the call and walks out of the room. You hear his voice trail off as he walks down the hall, his voice definitely more alive than just a second ago.

(Okay I guess?)

You finally get yourself out of bed, walking down the hall to the guest bathroom. You were slightly jealous of Zendaya, you weren’t afraid to admit it to yourself anymore. Her and Tom just seemed to get along so well, talking about parts of their job that you just couldn’t relate to.

As you walk into the bathroom, you prepare yourself for your own reflection. You probably looked hideous; your hair sticking up in weird places, your eyes droopy.

You flipped on the light and glanced at the figure reflecting back at you. You were pleasantly surprised to see that your hair framed your face perfectly, your lips were a soft pink, and a gentle glow radiated off your skin. You actually looked pretty good, despite how you felt inside. (Maybe my body is compensating for the fact that I’m thinking about breaking the heart of a wonderful boy while also shattering my own.)

You took a few human minutes in your morning routine, deciding to stay in your leggings and tank top. As you cross the hall making your way back to the room, you can’t help but listen to Tom’s laugh from the edge of the stairs. “Definitely. I wish you were here as well,” he speaks into the phone. You don’t stay a second longer, not wanting to hear another word and shut the bedroom door behind you.

You go over to Tom’s suitcase, pulling out a light gray sweatshirt, throwing it over your head. Wearing his clothes just made you feel closer to him, even if he wasn’t actually there. That’s really what you needed right now.

Everything changed the second he went out on his first outing with his co-stars. He told you it was to get to know them better before they started filming. And while you were excited for him and this new journey he was taking, you were just praying he wouldn’t get lost in the fame of it all. It didn’t even cross your mind that he would neglect you from him. Guess you didn’t think this new journey would take away from you so much.

You roll your eyes at your own thoughts. (God, could I be any more selfish? I should just be grateful that I’m with him now.) Deciding you would need your mood lifted before you walked out of the room, you give your mom a call.

After hearing a few of the dial ringings, she answers. “Well Merry Christmas, my darling.”

“Hi, Mom.” A smile finds its way to your face at her voice. “Merry Christmas to you, too.” You couldn’t deny that your voice didn’t reflect the feelings you wished you had—it sounds more forced than anything else. “How are you?”

“I’m doing good, sweety. How are you, are you feeling better?”

You let out a deep sigh, running your fingers through your hair. “Not really.” You gave your mom a late night call last night, trying to get advice on how to organize your thoughts and feelings. “I just keep feeling like....” There was a tight, hot pull at your chest, resulting in your eyes prickling with tears. “I just really miss you.”

Around this time of year, you were always with your family, performing in traditions that you’ve known since you were little. Of course, Tom was the same way, excited in the idea that you’d be joining his family for Christmas this year. At the time, it was what you wanted too.

There was silence on the line before you hear your mother’s soft voice. “Honey, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to have a wonderful Christmas with Tom and his family, New Year’s as well.” You felt as your head nodded along to her words, “Next thing you know you’ll be back home.”

You relished in the hope that her words would come true. You weren’t sure just how long you could feel this way without acting on something you’d regret. You dismissed your thoughts, shaking your head. You knew you would never be able to do such a thing, your heart was too invested in Tom. No matter what he did, you’d love him unconditionally. Wrapping up the call, you took one last glance in Tom’s closet mirror before stepping out of the room. The hallway was now empty, Tom nowhere to be found. Walking downstairs you hear the chatter of Tom’s family and frequent clattering of kitchen dishes.

“Why can’t we just wake her up?”

“Paddy, stop it. She’ll wake up soon enough.”

“It’s already 10 o’clock!”

You didn’t waste time in finally entering the kitchen, a guilty smile plastered on your face. Paddy shoots up the second he sees you. “Y/N!” He runs over to you, wrapping his small arms around you. “I’m so glad you’re awake. TOM, SHE’S AWAKE!”

You chuckle down at the little boy, ruffling his hair. “You can thank Tessa for that.” You smile as you see Tessa stroll into the kitchen not a second later, the ribbon around her neck now falling at weird angles.

“Oh, thank you, Tessa.” Paddy let’s go of you to run after the dog, chasing her into the living room. Your gaze follows him as he jumps onto the couch, Tessa by his side.

“Oh don’t mind him.” You turn your head to see Nikki, her hands brushing against her pants. “He’s always been impatient when it comes to presents.” She walks over and gives you a hug. “Merry Christmas, dear.”

“Merry Christmas.” You reply gently, the ends of your lips tugging upward at her generosity. “I’m sorry for sleeping in so late. I really didn’t know everyone was waiting for me.”

She waves her hands away, huffing out a breath, “Don’t you worry about it. I’m just glad you’re here.” Nicola was really something else. You were super nervous the first time Tom introduced you to his parents, your insecurities getting the best of you: ‘what if they don’t like me, maybe they’ll think I’m not good enough for him, should I even be doing this?’ But Tom assured you many times that his parents were not ones to judge and that you’d get along well with his mom. And he wasn’t wrong. Nikki made you feel so comfortable the moment you met her. “Tom said you didn’t sleep well. I hope you’re feeling better. Mind grabbing the boys for presents?” She gives you a warm smile before walking into the next room, retrieving her husband.

You are suddenly left alone in the kitchen, the sound of brotherly banter heard from outside. You slowly make your way through the kitchen to the sliding glass door leading to the backyard.

(Oh my goodness. These boys.) As you lean against the door, glancing outside, you see none other than Tom chatting with the twins. Outside. In the winter.

“I can do it!”

“Not as well as I can.”

They had the large blue mat laid out in the backyard, bickering on who could do the most flips. You quietly open the glass slider, stepping outside. The fresh winter air bites your nose, your arms instinctively crossing over themselves to keep the bit of warmth left in you.  (Thank goodness I grabbed his jumper.)

Harry shoved Sam onto the mat, laughing at his brother’s own ignorance; no one can beat Tom. “Let’s go, Sam. You got this, I think?”

Sam really did his best to do at least a double flip, but he ended up falling straight onto his face. Tom and Harry were the first to burst into laughs while you had to cover your mouth with your sleeve-covered hand to mask your giggles.

“That’s the best you can do, dickhead?” Tom teased out.

“You do it then,” Harry called out to him, giving him a rough push towards the mat. “Mr. bloody Spiderman.” Sam jumped down off the mat, ruffling his own hair.

(Ooh. He really shouldn’t have said that.)

Right on cue, Tom gave him the brightest grin, winking once at his brother. “You really shouldn’t have said that.” He laughs, setting himself in front of the mat.

You smile to yourself at how well you know your boyfriend. Biting your lip you wait and watch Tom, expecting him to wow his brothers, per usual.

Tom stands tall as he preps himself in front of the mat, clearly concentrating on accomplishing this unspoken bet between his younger brothers. He took a deep breath, taking a running start before doing a cartwheel into a full twisted layout.

He smirks as he spots his landing, raising his eyebrows at his brother. “Spiderman just owned your ass.” He chuckles as Sam rolls his eyes, Harry just laughing wildly beside him. Tom finally sees you standing in the doorway as he steps off the mat and wraps both his arm around the pouting Sam. “Hey, darlin’.” He grins at you, his eyes shining as he takes notice in your sweater of choice.

You smile, taking a deep breath of the morning air. “Hi,” you breathe out; you couldn’t deny how good he looked with his hair all tousled after his flips. Your teeth scale over your bottom lip before you speak quietly, “Your mum wants you all inside. I think we’re starting presents.” The twins automatically race into the house, giving each other playful pushes as they pass you. You hear one of them mutter, “I told you, you bloody idiot.” Their words bring a grin to your face and you lift your head up to see your boyfriend, smiling down at you. “Hi.” You breathe out again.

He laughs, his smile widening even further, “Hi.” He stares down at you for a couple seconds before leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. He pulls away, licking his lips, “I forgot to tell you Merry Christmas earlier.”

“Merry Christmas to you too Tom.” You whisper back, taking a bit longer to compose yourself after the simple kiss. You place your hands on his chest, gripping lightly at the large black hoodie, “We should probably go inside now.”

He nods, placing a kiss on the top of your head. He wraps an arm around your shoulder, leading you both inside. “You look good in my jumper.” He mumbles out, choosing not to comment on the blush that rose to your cheeks. You let him close the glass slider behind you before the pair of you enter the den.

Tom’s family really went all out on the Christmas decorations. From the kitchen to the den, holiday-themed decorations were arranged everywhere, the tree, of course, being the most magical.

Seeing as there are no more seats on the couch, you and Tom settle on the floor next to Paddy and Tessa, Tom placing himself next to Tessa. “Alright Paddy, go!” Tom shouts, allowing the young boy to finally open his first present.

Not a second later, Paddy is ripping off the beautiful Christmas paper. His cheeks are painted red as he eagerly glances down at what his parents got him. Suddenly, he’s grabbing hold of his new present, jumping up and down with excitement.

Everyone took turns opening presents, including yourself. Turns out your parents arranged to have your presents from your family shipped to Tom’s parent’s house, allowing you open them on this Christmas morning. “Oh wow, this is beautiful.” You gush as you pull out a beautiful navy dress, gifted by your grandmother. “For when Tom takes you to one of his many events on the red carpet,” You read the note inside the box, “Or when Tom simply wants to..” You stop and put the card down, biting your lip. “What a great present. Thank you, Grandma.”

Tom grabs the card from you, his eyes scanning over the card to finish the unspoken part of the note. He laughs and looks back to you with a wicked smile. He winks at you once while you roll your eyes. “Alright, Tom. Your turn.” You reach over for your neatly wrapped present for him, “Merry Christmas.”

He places the card down by his side, definitely wanting to keep it to joke with later on and gently grabs the present from you. As he unwraps it slowly, you can’t help but pray that he’ll like what you got him.

Shopping for Tom was always difficult. You were no celebrity, no one really successful; you were just a normal girl living the everyday life, so you didn’t exactly have the kind of money to get him something super spectacular. If you were being honest, anything you could get him, he could definitely afford to get himself. Not to mention, you just weren’t great with gift giving either. This was the reason behind your ground rule of ‘No over the top, expensive presents.’ Tom, of course, hated this rule, always wanting to spoil you with surprises. But this rule kept things balanced between you two, never having to feel like either of you (mostly you) were pressured to reciprocate.

“Ah, a new pair of sneakers,” he pulls the rest of the wrapping paper off, opening the box and looking inside. “Oh, babe, these are great!” He gushed over the shoes, picking them up to show the rest of the family. It wasn’t like you got him some cheap brand of athletic shoes, but they definitely weren’t anything for him to fawn over.

“I know you’ve been wanting new ones since yours are getting a bit scuffed up, so yeah. Plus I’ve heard they are really comfy.” You shrug your shoulders, knowing it wasn’t anything too amazing. “I hope you like them.” He looks at you with a smile, leaning over and pressing a kiss to your cheeks. And that’s all you needed to understand how he felt. (It’s the thought that counts.)

“Okay!” Nikki shouted from the couch, almost making you jump from the spot on the floor. She quickly stands up and walks to the Christmas tree, pulling out a hidden card that was somewhere on the tree. (Where in the world..?). “Y/N, Tom; this is for you.” She hands you the white envelope with the pair of your names on it.

Seeing both your name and Tom’s written together, side by side to represent a pair melted your heart a little. You loved this boy more than life itself and whether or not you would admit it to yourself, this was the one you wanted. You wanted Tom to be it for you, the one you’d settle down for, the one who would raise your children, the one who wouldn’t only be a chapter in your book, but part of the title. It’s what you wanted, but you weren’t sure if wanting it was enough to make it happen anymore.

You take the envelope from her, holding it off to Tom to open. “You go ahead and open it,” he replied, pushing the wrapped card back to you.

“But it’s from your mum, I think you should open it,” you whisper back to him. In your mind, it made sense to have Tom open a gift from his mother, even if it was for both of you.

He shakes his head at you, biting back a grin, “I already know what it is, darlin’.” With confusion laced on your face, you take hold of the card in your hands. You slowly peel apart the wrapped letter. Pulling out the card, you read the note inside, “Y/N, we remember the first time Tom finally spoke up about you. We all knew something in his heart had changed, something in his life sparked a new feature of Tom we didn’t even know existed. Tom, we can see in your eyes that Y/N is the love of your life and we wish that this deep affection between you two is everlasting. We hope you enjoy each other’s company on this journey, Merry Christmas.” You heart warmed at Nikki’s words, “Love, Mom, Dad, Harry, Sam, Paddy & Tessa.”

You look up to see all of them staring at you expectantly while you gently bite your lip. (They are honestly scaring me right now.) You fold apart the paper that was placed inside the card. Before you can even gasp, your hand coming to rest against your mouth, Nikki is speaking quickly, “It’s a trip! For you and Tom, to go to—”

“Paris, Rome, Sydney, Beijing…” You finish, speaking out incredulously. “Is this re—. Are you serious?” She simply nods her head with a radiant smile. You truly didn’t know what to say at this moment. A whole trip. For you and Tom. You looked at Tom abruptly, giving him almost a knowing glare. He throws his hands up with an innocent laugh, pointing to his parents. This was his ‘I had nothing to do with this. This was all them’ response. “Guys.” You look between all of them, swallowing the large lump you had in your throat, “This is just really...Thank you.” Tears of graciousness start to well in your eyes while you feel like your heart was beating out of your chest; you couldn’t even begin to imagine how much this costs, you were already bringing in the guilt of receiving such an expensive present.

You give each and every one of Tom’s family members a warm hug, trying to keep yourself from sputtering out how truly generous this gift was to you. Coming full circle to Tom, you grin so big you know it’s going to hurt you later on. But right now, you didn’t have any care in the world. You jump in his lap, your legs wrapping around his middle to hold him tight. A whole two weeks on a romantic trip around the world, with your boyfriend. Alone. The thought made more tears surge to your eyes as you tuck your head into his neck.

He simply laughs at your overwhelmingly positive response, rubbing your back for comfort. After a few moments of you just sitting in his lap, the smile never leaving his face, you calmed yourself down and he spoke to you “Darlin’, we’re not done yet.” He mutters, pulling you away from him. He presses his hands to your face, moving away the hair that stuck to your cheeks. “You have one more.” He whispers just enough for you to hear.

You nod your head, wiping the tears from your face and hopping off his lap. (Well, I probably look hideous right now.) As you continue to calm yourself, Tom hunts for your present under the tree and comes back, handing you a small white box with an aqua blue bow on it. Biting your lip, you look at him skeptically. You’re almost worried that he decided to go well and beyond with a present this year as well.

It’s almost like he reads your mind, responding quickly, “Don’t worry. Not nearly as expensive.” He brings his knees towards his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He nods to you to continue with your gift, his own cheeks turning a bit pink.

There was no wrapping paper, allowing you to simply pull the top of the box off to reveal the beautiful gold bracelet beneath it. You carefully pull it out, admiring the shining beauty. “Oh, Tom.” Yet again, you were taken away. You believed him when he said it wasn’t expensive, but I mean, I got him fucking shoes. “A charm bracelet?” You look back down to the bangle, turning over the heart charm that was attached. It read:

Y/N, I’ll love you forever and always darling. -Tom

“Yeah,” he mutters, biting his lip as he watches you take it all in. “Thought you could find some really cool charms on our trip.” He looks down nervously at his hands, rubbing them together.

“Tom,” you repeat again, shaking your head in disbelief. He looked up at you, biting his lip to suppress a nervous smile. For about the tenth time this morning, you were lost for words. Which led you to the decision of not using words to express how you felt, but by leaning over him and giving him a sweet kiss on the lips. You both wanted the kiss to last a bit longer, but PDA was never something either of you liked, especially in front of his family. “I love it. And I love you,” you whisper, now being the one to rub his hair back from his eyes. “..so much.”

“And you guys,” you continue, looking back at the rest of his family, hoping one day you can call them yours. “I love all of you and I really can’t thank you enough.” They were all smiling back at you. You relished in this feeling, Tom by your side, his family supporting the both of you. (I couldn’t have asked for anything better.)

It seemed as if everyone was starting to wrap up the morning, Tom deciding to finally give Tessa her present. After collecting all the trash and helping clean up the living room, you make your way into the kitchen. A smile wouldn’t leave your face. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the idea that you’d finally get to spend quality time with your boyfriend after him being gone and distant for so long. Taking one last glance at your boyfriend, him turning to you with a smile, you get yourself some well-deserved coffee.

The rest of the day was pretty relaxed, you and Tom chilling out on the couch watching the Christmas movies that were being played on TV. Lucky for Tom, one of his favorite movies ‘Just Friends’ was playing. “What do you think would happen if one of us friend zoned the other?” He asks out of nowhere, his teeth chewing on his lip. “Like, what do you think would have happened if you and I didn’t...kiss that one night?” He’s looking down at you now, actually expecting an answer.

You definitely remember your and Tom’s first kiss, but you couldn’t remember what your life was like before Tom. You just couldn’t picture your life now without him. “I truly don’t know. We’d just be friends, maybe?” You laugh with a shake of your head, “My mind doesn’t want to think of a future without you in it if I’m being quite honest.” You couldn’t tell if that was the answer he was hoping for, but he simply shook his head, a smile playing on his lips.

Later in the evening, the Holland threw a bit of an ‘After Christmas Party,’ including many of Tom’s family and close friends, all you’ve met before. They all greeted both you and Tom at their arrival, each adding a small remark about how lovely you pair were together. Each thoughtful compliment brought a grin to both of you and made your heart yearn more and more for the boy next to you.

“Paddy, get your arse back in the house!” Dominic shouts from the kitchen. You all turn your head to Tom’s dad who seemed to be cursing the young one for being outside at this time.

“I’m gonna grab something to drink, you want anything?” You announced to Tom before getting up and walking to the kitchen. You go to the fridge, pulling out two beers for your boyfriend and Harrison. “To be fair, Tom was playing outside with the boys earlier.”

Dominic turns to you with a nod, “I’ll keep that in mind.” He chuckles, before closing the slider and locking it. “So, Y/N.” He looks to you, clasping his hands together. “How are you?” He leans his body on the counter across from you.

“I’m doing pretty well,” you nod, taking a sip of your own drink. “I’m so thankful to be here for the holidays. I really miss you all and Tom.”

“So Tom is treating you well then?” He raises his eyebrows. This wasn’t an unusual conversation. Dominic frequently made sure Tom was treating you with respect and each time, it made your heart swell.

You look over to Tom, sitting and laughing with his friends on the couch, his laughter filling you with joy. “Always.” You turn back to Dominic, “He’s without a doubt, the most kind and honest man I have ever met.” Just thinking back to all the times Tom really proved to you that he was true, and not the ‘superstar punk’ everyone thought him out to be, made you smile. “I love him more than anything in this world. I just really miss him when he’s away.”

“Yeah, I bet. We all do.” He sighs, rubbing his hands through his hair. You bit back a smile, recognizing the same movements in Tom. “But we’re all so proud of him and it makes him coming back home more special.” His words definitely struck you there. Tom would come back to see you whenever he could, even if it was just for the weekend. He would come back and the two of you would be inseparable, basking in the time you had.

You thought about your dream and thoughts of this morning, it never truly leaving your conscious, and chuckled to yourself. “Thanks, Dominic.” You smile, walking back to living room. He gave you a nod in response; whether or not he knew what was going through your mind, he tamed all of your insecurities on your relationship.

“Don’t you dare!” You warn Tom, his eyebrows raised towards you. With his eyes twinkling, he slowly brings the shot glass to his lips and takes it back with a sigh. “You dick!” You laugh, lightly punching him in the arm. Of course, that made no dent to him, he hardly even shifted.

“I’m sorry, darlin’, but trust me, you really don’t wanna know.” His grins as he looks back to Harrison, who’s about to fall off his chair from laughing so hard. After the majority of the party guests left, you, Tom, and the remaining of your friends all decided to play your own drinking game.

“You know, you’ll have to tell me about it eventually.” You say matter-of-factly, leaning your body towards him.

He sees this as a challenge and leans back, his chest pressing against yours. “Oh, I will, will I?” He teases back, his nose coming to rub against yours.

You hum in defeat, leaning back in your chair. (I’ll get what I want eventually.) He just laughs, resting back in the dining room chair, his arm resting on the back of yours. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he answers the incoming FaceTime call. “Hey, Zendaya! I’m here with Y/N and Harrison, say Hi.”

You turn your head to see Zendaya, as beautiful as ever, displayed on Tom’s phone, waving back at you guys. “Hey, Z! How are you?” You smile politely, gently waving back at her as you rested your head on Tom’s shoulder.

“Oh Y/N! I want to talk to you!” She shouts excitedly from her end of the phone call. You gently take the phone from Tom, getting up to leave the table.

“Oh, so you just called for Y/N. I see how it is Z!” Tom playfully scowls. You roll your eyes at your boyfriend, a smile playing on your lips.

Leaving the dining room, you make your way up the stairs towards the room. “Hey, so what’s up? How was your Christmas?”

“It was awesome. Played with the little guys,” she moved the screen to show the mess of toys around her family’s living room. “It was a bit of show, but they’re taking naps now.” She laughs, moving the hair from out of her face. “But how are you? Did you like Tom’s present?”

You close the door of the bedroom, now sitting on the bed, “Yeah! It’s so pretty!” You move the screen down to show her the bracelet that was resting perfectly on your wrist. You played with the charm containing the inscription, smiling to yourself.

“Not that one, the vacation!” She smiles, “though that is really nice.”

“Oh. You mean Tom’s parents?” You ask a bit confused.

“Is that what he told you?” She raises her brow a bit. There’s some shuffling from the other side of the call, sounding as if she’s moving around. “No matter what he says, that was all Tom.” She shakes her head, the sound of a door closing heard through the speaker. “That boy went through so much to work that out.”

Your mouth drops a bit, more confusion laced on your face than ever. Before you say a word, she speaks quickly. “He’s been working that out for weeks. He kept complaining to the directors about how he wanted to bring you on set, just to visit him for at least a couple days every few weeks.” She lays down on her bed, holding the phone above her, “but they wouldn’t let him. You know him, the poor guy lets everything slip.”

“Wait, hold on.” You hold your hand up, shaking your head. “Tom planned a trip. A trip around the whole freakin’ world. Because he wanted to see me?” You were just trying to understand the gist without asking the source himself.

“Pretty much,” she nods along. “He had to schedule time off with the directors and everything. He really misses you.” She finishes, silence now filling the air.

You don’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Wow, I really don’t know what to say. I hate that he went through so much trouble for me.” You bite your lip, suppressing a smile that is trying to emerge.

“Oh god, Y/N. That boy would do anything for you. Anything.” You knew she meant it and you believed her; Tom has told you that himself. “Oh. Shoo—Y/N, I have to go. The beasts have awoken.” She laughs, more shuffling heard as she moves off her bed. “Talk to you later, babe. B—.” The call ends before you have a chance to speak through.

You were just so speechless. (When aren’t I, to be honest?) You lay the phone on the bed beside you, bringing your hands back to your lap. You couldn’t believe that Tom would go through as much trouble as he did just to get time off to see you, not to mention plan it without telling you. All the dropped FaceTime calls, delayed text messages, missed calls; he wasn’t pushing away from you, just truly busy. While you were missing him, he was missing you. And here you thought it was only one-way.

Suddenly, you were crying. You couldn’t explain why, but the tears didn’t stop. You just couldn’t stop thinking about how much you loved him and how, through everything, this man was your everything. You couldn’t picture happiness without him included. “Fuck—” You whispered to yourself with a small laugh, sniffling at your overwhelmed emotions.

Two knocks at the door brought you out of your daze, Tom’s head peeking through. “Babe?” The second he sees your tear-stained face, he’s rushing over to kneel before you. “Y/N, shit.” He moved the hair out of your face, “What happened?” His concerned eyes made a couple more tears fall down your cheeks while you let out a shaky breath.

“These are..happy tears, Tom.” You choke out with a quiet chuckle, looking into his soft brown eyes. He lets out a relieved sigh, still looking back at you questionably. “I’m just...so...overjoyed. I mean, I feel like I don’t deserve this.” He takes your hand in his, letting you talk out your emotions. “But I am so in love with you. And your family. Seeing your brothers,” you sniff, smiling as you shake your head, “those boys make my day more than you know.” You’re full on laughing now, thinking back to this morning. “And your parents...And you.” Looking back at Tom’s face, all your worries were gone, any and everything you ever wanted to be was written in the color of his eyes, the flow of his hair, the curve of his lips. (He is everything.)

“I..I want to marry you, Tom.” You whisper quietly, almost afraid you didn’t say it at all. “I don’t want to lose you, or your family, or Tessa. Ever.” Your heart was beating fast in your chest, finally aware that you were getting things off your chest. “I want to know that every time you go away..to film, on a press tour...that you’ll be coming right back. To me.”

As he stares at you, almost speechless, you realize the severity of the words you said. You both would constantly say I hope this relationship would last forever and I want you in my life forever, but there was never a clear ‘I want a marriage with you’ conversation. “I just wanted you to know,” you whisper. You didn’t regret what you said, everything ringing very true in your heart.

“Y/N,” he whispers, causing your eyes to lift to meet his. “I...I love you more than anything in this world. You know that.” He nervously chuckles to himself, licking his lips. “But I don’t...I want...I wish for you to want to marry me because you actually want to be with me forever. Not because you’re scared you’re gonna lose me.” He’s looking at you seriously, “Darlin’, I’m not going anywhere.”  

You vaguely remember him saying that in your dream and smile to yourself, shaking your head. “Tom, whether you know this or not, I have our kid’s names picked out.” That brought a real laugh out of him, causing you to grin. “I want to buy a house with you and carve our names into it. I want to wake up to your messy hair, “ you gently ruffle his hair, “and drool running down your chin. I want—”

“To argue with you all the time, constantly having to remind myself that you’re always right.” He continues for you. “I want your annoying arse to keep me in check when I think I’m the shit. And I want to build a life with you.” He leans forward and kisses you passionately, his hand coming to rub your cheek. Your lips melt around his, his pace slow and loving. He pulls away to whisper against your lips, “Y/N, I want a marriage with you.”

You pull his face to yours, your lips reattaching and lean back on the bed. Tom follows, hovering above you. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you tug him down so his body rests on top of yours. Somehow your body just fit together in a way you wouldn’t have even thought to notice. The moment you felt the warmth of his body on top of yours, you moaned quietly, tugging gently at the ends of his hair. Pulling away, he smirks down at you, “So, do you wanna…?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you suggestively.

You giggle, shaking your head. “What about your parents and everyone downstairs?”

“They won’t hear us from up here, trust me.” He presses a few kisses on your collarbone, leading up to your neck. “Besides, most of them left when you came up here.” Biting your lip, you nod with a sigh at the feeling of his lips against your skin. “Should I go and get your grandmother’s dress then?”

You both laugh out loud, nudging him in the chest at his joke. (This boy. My boy.) You grab him by the shirt, pulling him towards you. You close your eyes as he kisses you, falling in the bliss of his touch.

In the dead of the night, Tom wakes up from the overwhelming amount of heat radiating from his body. “Fuck.” He whispers, pushing off the large comforter that rested on top of him. He feels a small tug on his abdomen, the sound of a soft whine protesting from beside him. Looking over, he sees Y/N, sound asleep with her face dug into the pillow. With her arm wrapped around his center, her bare chest hardly covered by the blanket, and her hair a disheveled nest, to him, she looked absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful. He carefully, removed her arm from around him, whispering out an apology when she whined and rolled over. He smiled to himself, taking one last glance at her before lifting himself from the bed. He grabs his black shirt off the floor and quietly leaves the room. He makes his way downstairs, grabbing a glass from the kitchen and getting himself some water.

“Can’t sleep?” A voice behind him calls, startling Tom in his spot.

“Dickhead!” He yells in a whisper, turning around to see his dad sitting at the dining room table, tea in his hand. “Dad, seriously?”

“What’s wrong, Superstar?” He laughs, his voice low.

Tom rolls his eyes, deciding to make himself some tea as well. “Why are you awake at this time?” Tom asks, adding some sugar to his cup.

“Couldn’t sleep. And yourself?” He takes a sip of his tea as Tom joins him at the table.

“Y/N. I’m so glad she’s finally getting some sleep, but man does she like a lot of blankets.” He laughs, taking a quick sip of his drink. “Thanks again for the trip and everything. She’s so excited about it.”

“I’m glad she liked your gift, Tom.” He chuckles, looking at his son. With a few moments of silence, he speaks up again, “Are you nervous?”

Tom looks up at his father, swallowing down the contents in his mouth and shakes his head. “I definitely was,” he bites his lip. He thinks back to the conversation the pair of you had some hours ago and grins wide. “Not anymore.”

His smile mimics his son’s, glad he has finally found someone that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. “Do you think she suspects anything?”

“She might.” He hums, silently laughing to himself. “But I don’t really care at this point. I just can’t wait to start my life with her.”

“I’m so happy for you, Tom. Y/N is really something.” Dominic puts a hand on his shoulder in support.

“Yeah,” he whispers, looking down at his hands, the thought of your sleeping form in his mind. “She really is.”

"Oh." She held up to her phone in one hand and pointed to it with the other. "I'm sorry. I was texting my parole officer." A crowd of laughter spread through the classroom, her peers appreciating her joke. Ms. Reed, however, wasn't quite as pleased.

"Put the phone away," Ms. Reed's voice rang back to Bethany in a warning tone, making her nod and tuck the phone back into her pocket.

Bethany tried to relax in the uncomfortable high school chairs, crossing her arms over her chest, but nothing could exactly change the unmotivated attitude she had to be there. She did her best to follow along with the lecture, but after missing a good twenty minutes while scrolling through her phone, she figured it was pointless to try and catch up now.

She wasn't always like this; Bethany used to be quite the scholar. She used to study her ass off just to prove everyone wrong; she liked people to know that they couldn't challenge her. She was always the first one to know the answer to the difficult questions, the one who scored the highest on examinations, and the one the teachers never second-guessed, knowing she was usually right. The difference now: she could still do all those things, she just didn't have to try.

Ms. Reed's lecture was cut short as the door to the classroom opened and then slammed shut, signaling someone's entrance. Bethany turned her head to see a mop of brown hair slug his way into the classroom, walking straight to Ms. Reed in the front of the room.

"Mr. Parker, glad you could join us," she sighed, taking the tardy pass from out of his hands. Bethany could immediately feel the negative energy radiating off of him the second he walked through the door. With his wrinkly jeans, half of his shirt tucked in, and the grumpy expression on his face, she could have probably sensed it from a mile away.

The brunette boy held his backpack over one of his shoulders, reluctantly walking through the row of students to the only empty desk left in the room. Next to Bethany. He let his bag drop onto the floor next to her, sliding into the chair and putting his head on the desk, his arms hiding his face.

Peter Parker. Bethany knew him, from a distance at least. If it weren't for the fact that she had a couple classes with him and lived in the same apartment building, she would have never known this kid existed. Being one of the outcasts of the school, Bethany was able to watch from a distance, observing the kids who also didn't seem to fit in. In a way, the only reason she knew him was because everyone else didn't.

Bethany watched him carefully, seeing how he gently beat his head against the desk. Me too, kid. Me too. He seemed to have sensed her stare because he turned his head to meet her eyes, an annoyed expression etched on his face.

She wasn’t fazed by the fact that she was caught in the act and continued to stare at the noticeable bags under his eyes. Peter wasn't a bad kid, but lately, he hadn't been the best one either. "You look like shit." She stated in low voice, her face giving into her grimaced tone.

He rolled his eyes at her, sitting up in his desk only to slouch back in his chair. He gazed straight ahead, presumably pretending to listen to whatever Ms. Reed was going on about now.

The clocked seemed to tick by at an increasingly slow pace, Ms. Reed's young and shrill voice not making it any easier to get through. She sat with her head in her hand as her elbow rested on the table. With her free hand, the pads of her fingers rolled on the desk to make a rattling noise while her eyes focused on the clock at the front of the classroom. Only one more minute.

Bethany hoisted up her things the second the bell rang, neatly putting her book away in her bag. She was about to run out of the room when she heard her name being called by the last person she wanted to see right now.

"Bethany, I'd like you to stay back for a second." Ms. Reed's eyes flickered over to Peter standing next to her. "Mr. Parker, you as well."

The fact that Ms. Reed frequently referred to Peter by his last name but referred to Bethany as her first name intrigued her. Maybe it's because she actually likes you.

"Bethany," she started, her face showing her utter disappointment. "What am I going to do with you?" She sighed, leaning on the desk and crossing her arms over her chest. "You’re never attentive to anything I say in class and somehow you're always on top of it."

Bethany has heard the same speech from most of her teachers many, many times. She politely nodded her head, taking in the familiar words.

“I need you to be here, awake, and active during class.” She gave Bethany a warning look, “At least for the sake of the students who do just as well but have to try harder.” Ms. Reed then waved her off.

Bethany knew she was only trying to keep her position of authority; she could tell by the smile on her lips that threatened to reveal her. Bethany nodded her head in agreement and dipped her head, ready to head out of the class.

“And you, Mr. Parker,” Ms. Reed turned her head towards him, her mood instantly shifting. “This is the third time you’ve been late to my class alone.”

Bethany couldn’t help but hang out a little bit to see what excuse he would come up with this time. Between “train broke down,” “alarm didn’t go off,” and “I got lost,” the boy was running out of ideas.

“My alarm didn’t go off,” he mumbled back to her, his voice anything but apologetic. Real original, Peter.

“I suggest you find a new alarm clock then.” She raised her eyebrows at him, reaching behind her to give Peter a detention slip. “Don’t let it happen again.”

Peter was expressionless as he took the thin paper in his hands, sighing softly. He probably knew there was nothing he could do to get out of it.

Bethany wasted no more time in walking out of class, not wanting Peter to think that she was eavesdropping on their conversation. She fished her tangled headphones from the side of her backpack and fit them into her ears, ready to block out the world.

“You know, my alarm actually didn’t go off.” A boy's voice spoke from beside her, starling Bethany in her place.

“What?” The tone of her voice came off annoyed even though she was far from it. She pulled her an earpiece out, looking at Peter expectantly as they both walked down the crowded hallway.

“My alarm didn’t go off.” He had a frown etched on his face as he looked back at her, clearly displeased by something that morning. “I wasn’t lying.”

He spoke in such a low voice, Bethany almost had a hard time understanding what he said. “Oh. Well,” she started, looking down at the headphones that rested in her hands. “It’s really none of my business, Peter.” She said matter of factly, lifting her shoulders to shrug him off.

“I’m just letting you know.” He said with a defeated sigh and shook his head, deciding to keep quiet for the remainder of the trip to the cafeteria.

Bethany felt kinda bad knowing that Peter did indeed notice that she was listening into their conversation, but quickly got over it when she saw her friend quickly run up to her in the hallway.

“Guess who I talked to today?!” Kate came up and squeezed Bethany’s arm, a little too tight for comfort.

Peter immediately walked off as Kate stopped her in the hallway. “Darrian.” She spoke knowingly, having heard the same gibberish from her before. Bethany’s eyes followed Peter as he turned the corner, most of her mind focused on him and how mysterious he could be sometimes.

“Yeah, he forgot his pencil and asked if he could borrow one.” She said excitedly as if it was the greatest conversation in the world.

Bethany snickered, deciding to put her headphones away now that Kate was here. “Ah, true love at it’s finest.” She said sarcastically, adjusting her backpack on her shoulder. The pair of them walked into the cafeteria, joining the rest of their peers in the room. Bethany and Kate didn’t have to think as they sat down at their spot at the corner table in the back of the large room.

Bethany hardly listened as Kate continued babbling about her affection for the particular boy in her class. She made small noises of a response as she pulled out her lunch that she made that morning.

“I mean and then he’d look at me and I’d die. Literally, Bethany, I die.” Bethany didn’t even have to look at her to know there was a gleam in her eyes. “And then his voice. Ugh!” She snorted as her only response, looking around the cafeteria in hope that the conversation would die down to nothing.

Kate slammed her hands on the table causing to Bethany flicked her head over to see Kate’s eyes closed in focus. “I just hope he likes me back.”

“I think you should just go talk to him,” Bethany mumbled with a shrug, not really seeing what the big deal was. “If you like him, just tell him. Let him know you’re interested.”

“I can’t just go up and speak to him. What am I even supposed to say? Hi, I’m Kate and I have a big ole’ stinkin’ crush on you?” She looked at Bethany like she had said something offensive about her family. “Hello? That shit barely works when they do like you.”

“I just saying, I think that there is nothing wrong with introducing yourself,” Bethany replied, purposely disregarding that she shouldn’t ever mention anything about her ‘big ole’ stink’ in’ crush on  him.’ “How hard can that be?” Bethany started to pull out her food, making the mistake of looking at her.

Kate’s expression turned from annoyed to an emotion beyond annoyed, one might even call it death itself. “How hard can that be?” She repeated flabbergasted. She stared at her for a long while and Bethany didn’t dare look away. Her lips then turned up into a smile and she laughed. “Just wait until the day you fall in love.” She laughed again and turned away, finally starting in on her food.

“I don’t love,” Bethany answered in defense a little while later, shaking her head at the idea. She picked up her sandwich and took a bite. She was quite grateful that Kate didn’t respond because her ‘love life,’ or rather lack of, was not exactly a topic she would choose to dive into. It wasn’t something she ever cared to venture into; it almost seemed like it wasn’t an option for her—like she was destined for something far greater.

The rest of the day seemed to drag on, Bethany having to really focus on not falling asleep in the rest of her classes. But once the last bell of the day rang through Midtown High, Bethany wasted no time in racing out through the front doors of the school. She practically ran to the closest train station, a couple of her peers following right behind her. As the train signaled its departure, she quickly slipped her way between the closing doors, smirking as it closed her off from the rest of her peers. Now, I can finally feel at ease.

When the train started to move, Bethany turned around to find a seat on the crowded train. She was left to walk all the way to the back of the cart, sitting in the back row near the wall. Settling in, she took her headphones out and slid them in her ears, putting some music that could easily cause the tension in her body.

Bethany gazed out the window to the city of Queens as the train quickly flew by. The tall buildings glistened in the sun, their presence notorious to those around them. The street life beneath her seemed so fast, the teeming amount of civilians bustling about quickly, getting from A to B as quickly as they could. Everyone had a place to be, whether it be something they had to do or someone they had to see. No one around her ever seemed to take the time to appreciate something as simple as the way the buildings sparked in the presence of the sun or how each day the color of the sky was different as it set. No one really cared anymore.

She pitied them. Those who stayed here in Queens, the place she grew up and the only place she’s ever known; she pitied them. There were people who would never break out their comfort zone to experience the world and rather stay inside the box that so ever-so trapped themselves into. Then there were people like Bethany who only craved all the adventures the world could offer her, who would flee at the first chance she got. Bethany wanted to see the world, not stay settled down, and if she did, it would not be in a place like Queens.

She saw movement coming towards her from the corner of her, her attention now turned to the familiar brown hair as he traveled towards the end of the train. You’ve got to be joking, she thought, watching as Peter almost fell over a couple times due to unsteady train on its tracks. His shirt was still untucked, his eyes still tired, and his hair was still a mess, almost like he had just rolled out of bed. What is up with this kid?

Peter’s eyes then caught hers, his face a bit surprised to see her already settled in a seat as if she’s been there the whole time. It seemed as if Peter caught the train at the last second the same time she did. Bethany watched as his eyes flickered from her to the place right next to her, registering the last empty seat that wasn’t next to a stranger. Couldn’t the universe hand him to someone else to bother? Bethany visibly rolled her eyes, nodding her head to signal her reluctant acceptance to join her.

Peter gave her a full smile and walked the rest of the way to sit next to her. “Thanks,” he muttered, shrugging off his bag before he sat all the way on the chair. “I didn’t really want to sit next to a stranger.” His voice was light as he spoke

Bethany took out one of her earpieces as he sat down, knowing it would be rude to ignore his presence, though that’s what she wanted to do. “We’re practically strangers.” She mused, shrugging her shoulders. She felt kind of bad when his face turned to a look of hurt, but it was true, practically. There was nothing wrong with Peter as a person, she just never really got to know him that well.

Yeah, Peter was the first person she met when she first moved into his building a couple years ago, but she had heard from a little birdie that he did so unwillingly, May forcing him to do so. She would then see him around school where he would hide himself in the corner of every classroom, sticking with his one friend that followed him wherever he went.

She didn’t know him. But who really knows a person anymore? Her peers would sit next to each other every day in class and suddenly call themselves friends, but how well did they really know each other? People change, they lie and they cheat; that’s what Bethany has learned throughout her life. There were always going to be people who stabbed her in the back, she just had to be ready to take the knife out and stand up for herself.

Peter never seemed like that type of kid, but she didn’t know him, again, only from a distance did she have the slightest clue as to who he could be. If it weren’t for the fact that Peter got contacts a few weeks ago, having worn glasses back when they first met, she would have thought him to be the exact same.

Bethany’s eyes shifted down to Peter’s hands as they rested on his backpack. She could tell they were a bit swollen and his knuckles were red with bruises. Almost like he’d taken on a new hobby of..well, beating the shit out of things. “Do you box?” Bethany asked, her eyes still trained on his hands.

Peter clearly seemed surprised by her question, not expecting such a random sentence to come out of her mouth. “W-what?” His mouth was turned back down into a frown, seeming as if Bethany had struck a nerve.

“Your hand,” she clarified, using her hand to point at the evidence shown on his knuckles. “Do you box?” She repeated again, finally lifting her eyes to meet his.

He simply blinked his eyes at her, either not understanding the question or refusing to answer it. And while knowing how smart this kid could be, she assumed the latter.

When he didn’t answer her, Bethany turned her head back to the window, her fingers coming to the long chain around her neck to fiddle with the charm. She was just hoping to ignore him for the rest of the ride. Peter’s knee started to bounce and Bethany had to bite back a dramatic sigh. It seems she was going to be consciously aware of the fact that Peter was there next to her.

Fortunate for Bethany, Peter didn’t speak another word the whole ride, plugging up his ears with his own music. Every once in a while, she could feel his stare on her face and would continue to stare straight forward, neglecting to make any type of reaction to him. Three, four, five stops later, Bethany stood up, grabbing his bag from the floor and strapping it over her shoulder. Peter shifted his legs allowing her to get by and she gave him a half-smile in response, a form of ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’ spoken all in one motion. She didn’t look back as she then made her way off the train.

Ah, at last... She sighed as she arrived in front of the large white building, hundreds of black windows covering it. Every day she dropped by, her eyes always scanned against the bold black words than titled the building, General Techtronics Corporation. This building had been here for years, yet somehow always looked brand new, even the decorations inside showed to very modern.

She pulled out her headphones as she opened one of the glass doors, strolling up the large horseshoe desk near the front of the room. “Bethany Wilson.” She spoke to the young blonde girl with the headset, opening her backpack to pull out her badge

The girl rolled her eyes up to Bethany’s, sighing softly as she typed into the computer. “Nothing’s here.” She spoke in an annoyed voice, glancing back up at her with anything but a sweet smile.

“Well, it should be. Check again.” Bethany mimicked her tone, waving her form of identification in front of her. “Bethany Wilson.”

The blonde’s jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed back at her, pressing another two buttons before she gave Bethany a look. “Nothing.” She repeated eyebrows narrowed in challenge.

“Andrea, I’m here like every day. Just let me in.” This was the same old shit that happened every single day, the blonde having some sort of hatred towards the brunette. When the girl at the desk simply shrugged, Bethany groaned, turning around in her spot. “For fuck’s sake..” She was about to pull out her phone, texting her boss for help when she heard a voice from behind her.

“Andrea not giving you more trouble now, is she?” His voice spoke to announced his entrance, his badge already fashioned against his shirt. “Thought we were done with that.”

“Daniel,” Bethany breathed out with a happy grin. She could instantly register it was him by his voice and was grateful to finally be in the presence of someone who wouldn’t annoy the shit out of her.

“Daniel King.” He spoke towards Andrea as he leaned against the counter towards her, a hint of a wink sent her way. She made a noise towards a giggle, typing away on the screen before holding her hand towards the door. “Go right ahead, Mr. King.” Her teeth grazed the red lipstick along her lips suggestively as she looked at him, Daniel eating it up right away.

“Thanks, babe.” He gave her a second wink, putting a hand behind Bethany’s back to guide her inside the private elevator. The light turned on as he pressed on the button labeled 8 Lab and stared straight ahead as the doors closed in front of them.

While Peter was the first person Bethany met here in Queens, Daniel was her first friend. Their friendship blossomed at the start of the year when they were both new interns for the same research company. They both instantly connected with their un-useful knowledge and random facts; she finally felt like she had someone to talk to who matched her level.

As Bethany looked at the mirrored walls of the elevator opposite her, she took notice of her and Daniel’s appearance, more specifically them together. On one side, there was just a girl in her everyday school outfit, shy, reserved, and clearly one of the few in the out-crowd. Then on the other side was Daniel, with his perfect fucking smile, his perfect fucking heart, and his perfect fucking personality. Fuck. Daniel was everything a girl may hope for in life and if Bethany were to ever fall in love, like the real kind, she was hoping it’d be with someone like him.

“How’s life at the mainstream school?” He asked a few seconds later, looking at Bethany through the elevator mirrors. Though his tone was sincere, his eyes said it all and she rolled her eyes at him.

“Well it’s no private school,” she muttered as the doors slid open to reveal the twinkling freshness of the new lab, “but public school really isn’t all the mainstream.” She slid her jacket off her arms, hanging it up and following Daniel as he grabbed a clean, white lab coat.  “I mean, it’s the same old shit every day.”

“Everywhere is the same shit every day. It doesn’t matter where you go.” He clarified as he placed his goggles over his eyes, securing their place with the adjustable band. “Don’t forget your necklace.” He said pointing to the chain around her neck.

“Oh, fuck. Thanks.” Bethany felt dumb for almost forgetting, again. Sometime a few months ago, she simply forgot to take off the piece of jewelry that she took care of so carefully. It ended up being a huge problem in the lab and she almost lost her precious necklace to some flame explosion. She reached behind to the back of her neck to unclasp the chain and let it fall into her other hand. She tucked the necklace away into their lab drawer, knowing it would be safe in there.

“Well, guess that’s why you’re here then, huh?” He gave her a knowing smile with the large protective goggles on his face.

She followed suit, looking at him through the foggy protective lenses. “Yup.” She admitted with no shame, striking her fist against the large blue button that signaled the emergency-safe door to slide open. She walked ahead of him to grab some gloves for the both of them. “Everyday is something new, something different, y’ know?” Pulling on her sanitary gloves, she looked at him. “Oh! How’d your project go...the one at the exhibit?”

“Jeez, B. That was like three weeks ago.” He stated while Bethany rolled her eyes, wishing he would just answer the damn question. “Um, well, it went well. Everyone thought it was pretty interesting, a few scouters found me, too.”

Bethany was jealous, to say the least, but was also glad things worked out for her friend. “You should’ve taken my idea,” she challenged him, finally walking to her lab table with Daniel next to her. “Just saying, it could’ve been better..”

“Alright, Miss. Black Widow,” he gave Bethany a look when she gave him a bright smile, lifting her chin in pride. “Just because we didn’t use the deadliest arachnid doesn’t mean it wasn’t great.” You’re just lying to yourself, she thought, still grinning. “I mean, it’s probably a good thing we didn’t because rumor is..” he started, already laughing as he thought about it. “It actually bit a kid.”

“Bit a kid? No way,” Bethany waved the idea off, knowing full well that even if their spider bit someone, they’d surely be dead by now anyway, and the company would have been shut down.

Daniel held his hands up in surrender, giving her a smirk, “I’m just telling you what I heard.”

She gave her friend a look, “And I’m telling you that if Josh found out—”

“He won’t find out.” Daniel countered back, pulling his notebook from out of his backpack.

“You better hope he doesn’t.” Bethany chuckled, turning her head away from him. “Now, shut up and go grab the lab materials.”

-

“There’s really no point in adding anything the reaction at this point, Bethany. It’s going to oxidize anyways.” Daniel read over his notes, going back and forth to find where they went wrong and what they missed.

Bethany muttered her incoherent thoughts as she calculated and re-calculated the reaction expectancy, tapping the pen on her chip in thought. “Daniel, if we don’t get this fixed soon, Josh is going to have our heads.” She sighed, getting off the chair and looking over Daniel’s shoulder to check his work.

“I’ve checked it about twenty times now,” he pulled his notebook away, so she couldn’t see it. “There’s nothing we missed.” Bethany crossed her arms over her chest and stood back while he just looked at her.

“Bethany, it’s late. I think we should come back to this tomorrow..” Daniel was clearly done with this project, wanting to just go home, but Bethany wouldn’t just give up that easy. She stayed silent, taking a few steps back just hoping she could get a new perspective.

After a few minutes of Bethany re-evaluating the whole lab and all the hard work that she and Daniel put into today just to come to a dead-end, she exhaled loudly, walking towards her lab table to close her notebook, putting her head in her hands. “I swear we did everything right.” She mumbled in frustration, rubbing her eyes.

“I know, but it’s late and we’re both tired. It’s probably time we went home, don’t you think?” Daniel asked her, concern laced in his voice. “We’ll have a fresh mind tomorrow.”

She turned her head to look at him, realizing he was probably spent and wanted to go home already. “Yeah, I’m sorry, Daniel.” She sat back on the stool, picking up her pencil again. “You can go. I’m just gonna check it over one more time.”

As hesitant as she could tell he was to leave her in this big building all alone, he gave in, removing his gloves and threw them into the trash can. “Don’t forget to lock up. See you tomorrow?” He asked while walking towards the exit.

She only gave him a subtle nod, her mind more focused on her figuring this out than anything else. Bethany wasn’t one to ever give up when things got hard, she would take the challenge and find a way to work around it, even when it seemed impossible.

She worked through it for what seemed like twenty minutes before she decided it’d probably be best if she went back to her house. She had a ton of homework to get through anyway and it was nearly nine o’clock. It was quiet in the lonely building, the only sound being the shuffling of papers and zipping of her backpack as Bethany scrambled to put everything away.

She always hated to leave this place. In her mind, this was the closest thing she felt to home. She could be herself here; she was always valued and cherished in this building, and they respected her. Well, at least enough to give me a key.

She stripped away her laboratory uniform, folding it up neatly and placing it in its respective drawer next to Daniel’s. She huffed a sigh as she finally threw her backpack over her shoulder and onto her back.

It seemed like every single light in this section of the building was turned on, and it was Bethany’s job to go around turning off all the lights. Great. As promised, she made sure everything was neat and clean, the lights turned off, and the doors locked. Another big reason they gave her a key—she did the closing job really well.

A good twenty minutes or so later, Bethany was finally able to lock the door to the division of the building, giving it a tug to check that it was locked. “Okay,” she whispered to herself and started down the stairs to the lobby and out the front doors of the building, locking those as well.

Everything seemed normal when she stepped outside to meet the brisk New York air, her breath coming out in white smoke before it would dissipate to nothing. The only form of light came from the bright moon in the cloudless sky and the faint bulb from the lamps every couple meters on the street. Sirens of the police, possible an ambulance signaled somewhere a few streets away and Bethany wrapped her arms around herself, shaking her head. She started to walk down the dim road, her mind going over everything she’d done today. From her early start at school to acing her Calculus exam to her long day in the lab, she should be tired from all the activities she partook in today.

Bethany gasped in her spot when she heard the sound of a trash can falling over in one of the alleyways next to her. She first put a hand to her racing heart, exhaling out a sigh at the false alarm. Her hands reached to her neckline to grab ahold of her necklace like she did was she was feeling uneasy. But something wasn’t right.

“Oh my god,” she whispered, her eyes widening as her hands scrambled for the missing token that always laid on her. “No, no, no. No.” She felt like her throat was closing up and she quickly turned around to check the grounds.

In the hell of the world Bethany lived in, sometimes she felt like her necklace, the one she’s had since she could remember, was the only thing keeping her together. If I lost it...Bethany’s eyes started to water and her face got warmth with the overwhelming about of emotions filling her chest.

“Okay, okay. Retrace your steps.” She instantly turned around and made her way back towards the facility, examining the sidewalk for her necklace. She seemed to backtrack all the way to outside the doors that she locked not so long ago and sighed, pulling out her keys to open it back up again. “I’m going to get in so much trouble for this, fuck.”

Opening the doors up and quickly making her way back upstairs, she got ready to open up the second pair of doors leading to the Science Lab. However, she stopped in her track when she saw that she didn’t need to. The door to the lab was opened just a crack and she could see a faint light coming from inside.

What the fuck. She slowly pushed the door open, a soft creak sounding through the empty room. “Josh?” She asked in a quiet voice, stepping inside. It didn’t look like someone broke in; whoever was here definitely had a key.

The more she crept in, the less scared she became. Apart from the opened door and the single light on in the room, it didn’t look like anyone was even here. Maybe, it’s a janitor? She thought as she looked around the room, noticing nothing out of the ordinary. She finally remembered why she came back and went straight to her and Daniel’s drawer, pulling her necklace out and fastening it around her neck. The second she secured it in place, Bethany instantly felt better, felt safe. It was just something it did for her.

She kicked the drawer closed and was about to turn around and walk away when she saw another door ajar in the back of the room. It was about then did Bethany feel antsy, knowing for sure that even if someone was in here that that door was always shut, no matter what. She hesitantly put one foot in front of the other and slowly made her way to the opened door.

“Hello?” She said in a whisper and rolled her eyes at herself. Obviously, if she was trying to get someone’s attention, she would need to be louder than a whisper. She stepped inside the room and noticed the long black-lit hallway. Turning to the wall beside her, she tried flipping on the light switch so she could have a better look at where she was. But nothing happened. Of course it had to look like a fucking horror movie in here.

She continued her slow walk down the hallway, looking for anything suspicious, anything that could signal someone getting into something they were supposed to. “Okay, okay, okay…” she chanted softly to herself as her heartbeat started to sound in her ears. It was just the creakiness of the moment that made her anxious.

The next few moments happened in a bit of a slow motion. Bethany turned her head around, her eyes jumping straight to one of the closed doors in the room. She walked towards it, her hands slowly turning the doorknob and pushing it open. She didn’t know how she knew it was this door that would be open; it was like something was calling her, pulling her towards it.

When she opened the door, she saw a plain room with almost nothing inside of it. It was dark apart from the neon light peeking in from the opened door to the hallway. “What the hell?” She whispered as she looked around the small room. It was practically empty apart from the glowing, ember-like crystals that scattered atop of a pedestal in the center of the room. It was a red color, much like the shine of flames, and as she stepped up to it, she had the strongest urge to touch it, to capture its light in her hands.

Before she could do anymore inspecting, the door immediately slammed shut, leaving her in the dark room with the only light coming from the glowing gem in the middle of the room. “Hello?” She shouted out, finding the door handle and trying to wiggle it open. “Is anyone there? I’m locked out, please!” She started to panic, her breathing hollowing out and her heart feeling like it was beating out of her chest. What scared her most was no one knew she was here, no one was here to save her.

Apart from the rapid heartbeat in her chest and the banging on her hands on the door, Bethany could hear something else, radiating from the room behind her. There was a loud screeching sound coming from behind her, increasing louder and louder, until it almost became unbearable. “Please, please!” She screamed at the closed door, her fists still beating at the non-perishable metal, not giving up on her only form of exit. A growing scarlet color illuminated the wall before her and she turned around to face the flaming crystal, her hand coming up to block the light.

Bethany couldn’t remember what happened next, the pain emerging from all over keeping her mind blank. Something wasn’t right. The first thing she noticed was the loud ringing in her ear, the sound drowning out any and everything else. She didn’t know where she was suddenly as she felt the rubble of the street beneath her. She tried to blink her eyes open to find out what happened but all she could see was flames, surrounding her and engulfing her with their taunting heat. Bethany tried to keep her eyes open longer, but her head hit the floor and her vision went dark. Something definitely wasn’t right.

~

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG POST ON YOUR DASH. THE BREAK  WON’T WORK ON MOBILE.

Here I was, 2 years later, in the final year of high school, knowing that she was going far away—far, far away—yet I was still going to be here, in the miserable small town where I will be reminded of her presence everywhere I go.

I was depressed. I didn’t mind admitting it. The love of my life was leaving me and I had nowhere else to go. Going away for the holidays and visiting the school she was attending next fall didn’t make any part of this easier. I damn well wasn’t smart enough to get into the school she was going to, so I was going to stay here, doing my best to live on without her.

I was walking alone, down the same lonely street as I was at when she told me she loved me. I’d like to say I was surprised, but deep down, I always knew, just like she knew just how much my heart went out for her. I kicked a loose pebble from the sidewalk, hands dug deep into my pockets, trying to think of anything but her. I had to forget her. I would. I really really would, but how?

As I thought of vivid ways to surrender all my thoughts away from anything that had to do with her, I didn’t even notice a blonde-haired beauty waving her hands in front of my face.

“Tom..” She purred, her voice like candy. Something about her voice made me even more transfixed on the sparkle in her eyes and the dimple in her smile. She laughed a bit more, “Tom! Hello? Anyone home in there?”

I merrily shook my head, snapping myself out of..whatever it was that I was imagining. “Oh. Hi.” I spoke back, doing my best to give her a smile that reached my eyes. “Um, what’s up?” I didn’t mean to sound rude or straight to the point, but I was hoping she could catch on that I wasn’t in the mood to chat today.

“You forgot your notebook in Chem.” She pulled out what I’m guessing was supposed to be my notebook and held it out for me to grab. It was only then that I realized that she did indeed sit behind me in Chemistry.

“Oh, well. Uh, thanks.” I knew the notebook wasn’t mine, but I didn’t feel like bringing up a debate on whose notebook it belonged to, so I just took it from her. I was just about to walk away when she said the name I was so desperate to forget.

“You’re Y/N’s boyfriend, right?” She asked, pure innocence ringing in her voice. When I simply lifted my shoulders in a shrug, she tilted her head to the side, about to speak the two words that I just couldn’t hear right now. ‘What happened?’

Before she could even say a word, I was spilling out everything. Everything about her and I: how we met, what happened to our friendship throughout the years, why I couldn’t answer the “are you still together” question; I told her just about everything. I didn’t even realize we’d made a trip, until somehow I was at the door of her house, her eyes blinking questionably at me.

I just stared back at her for a moment before I realized she had asked me a question. “What?” I had been so engaged in whatever conversation we were just having that she had to repeat her question a few times before I actually understood what she was saying.

“Would you like to come inside?” She asked, no irritation from my incompetence to understand an English statement evident in her candy like voice. I dug my teeth into the bottom of my lip, trying to come up with any reason not to.

My girlfriend wouldn’t like it.

I have homework to do.

I’m depressed and I think I’d rather sleep.

But the truth was, talking to the blonde-haired beauty actually made me feel better. I didn’t want to leave her presence, yet I knew what she was proposing. Normally, I’m not so quick to jump to a conclusion this severe, but the way her body formed the edge of the door, holding it out just enough for me to squeeze past her made her motive quite clear. I knew it was wrong, even if my conclusion was completely off; I knew my girlfriend wouldn’t like it. Yet, that didn’t seem to stop me from entering her house and kicking off my shoes.

Two weeks. Two weeks it’s been since that day and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Mistakes were made during those two weeks—lots of mistakes—and I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her. What I thought was only going to be a one-time thing turned into something much more.

Y/N was flying back today and I had no idea what I was going to say to her. I thought of a million different ways to confess my sins, my faults, and my mistakes, but jumping off a cliff seemed a lot more fun. As I waited anxiously, expecting the sparkle in her eyes as she bounced down the escalator, watching for her smile that I knew would fade as soon as I told her. But the smile never came. She walked out of the tunnel, her eyes dark and sad, her lips turned downwards, and her hair completely tousled. She looked terrible.

I knew as soon as her eyes reached mine why she looked like she’d been the one lying awake at night, stressing about her return, and just praying that she could be anywhere else than right here. It was because she did. I could tell she already knew. Everything I was so anxious to tell her, she already knew. I had already lost her. I had already lost the love of my life.