Feb 18, 2021
This has been THE longest February I’m starting to get suspicious
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This has been THE longest February I’m starting to get suspicious
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Listen, I have and adore this whole fleshed out A1 universe in my head where Kankri devotes some time to training himself for the game and becomes proficient at bo-staff combat, and loses his first life in the destruction of Prospit or to being stabbed by Jack Noir, and prototypes his kernelsprite with obnoxious academic texts - but on the other hand, this is Homestuck. While badass characters with inexplicably decent combat skills tend to be the norm, so does the absolutely stupid, so I invite you to consider:
Kankri panics and whaps an imp in the head with a broom the moment he enters the Medium, and spends the rest of the game stuck with fuckin Sanitationkind
Kankri’s server player prototypes his kernelsprite with the body of his (troll) custodian. They really don’t see why this is a problem. Everyone else prototyped THEIR lusii
Upon discovering this, Kankri immediately chucks the nearest blunt object at it, and congratulations kid, now your sprite is no longer your guardian but instead your guardian fused with a box of troll Kleenex
(He loses the lil sprite-summoning necklace immediately. It keeps turning up anyway, including that one time he shoved it down the sink and ran the garbage disposal)
The first time he dies is not the result of anything spectacular, but of forgetting to eat for like four days and passing out on a flight of stairs
He does at some point kiss Porrim back to life, resulting in her becoming a fully actualized rainbowdrinker, but the teary heartfelt reunion is ruined a little by him spending the next ten minutes spitting and wiping his tongue on his sleeves while Porrim talks to herself (“oh hi Porrim, darling friend of mine, I’m so relieved to have reached you in time and sure do care that you’re not dead,”)
His broom breaks and his specibus becomes Handlekind. Just Handlekind. If an enemy drops a kickass sword then oh fuckin well, he can only use the hilt, and it’s up to the specibus whether that actually counts as a handle.
Kankri does not receive a respectable weapon that he can USE for almost the first full sweep of SGRUB before someone takes pity on him and gives him a new specibus card
He refuses it. They need to come up with some special occasion to give it to him as a gift, and even then he is incredibly skeptical and vagueposts about their weird cerulean savior (/purple paladin/whatever) complex on his next memo
Listen there is a REASON these kids were super incredibly inept at playing the game and you can’t tell me there wasn’t a timeline in which Kankri, my idiot son, was a big part of that reason
Why the heck am I a constantly active tumblr user and fairly young person and I have NO idea what the fuck this slang is
What the hell is an anti?? What is fleek? What is simping and why do you do it??? What the fuck are all of these abbreviations and whatnot?
Y’all aren’t wrong for using the newfangled words but I just can’t keep up! Is there a memo that gets sent out???
Does anyone mind if I overflow with love for my friends? No? Alright, stories incoming then, ETA 1-30 days
Hey! Um I don’t want to sound ignorant or rude, but I wanted to know how you knew you wanted to transition for sure. I’ve been kinda questioning about it myself, but I’m just so unsure... You do t have to answer this; I know it’s a sensitive topic for some people.
It's no problem! For me, it was sort of just random thoughts like 'what if I could be a boy? That would be cool' or 'I wish I was a guy'. They started to happen more about a year ago, and I eventually started to question if I was really a female. I found some websites with lists of genders and looked through them to help me get informed about different identities. I actually at first thought I was nonbinary/agender, and that didn't feel quite right, so I kept looking until I found that transgender was right for me. After I had figured out my gender, I looked through things that could help me medically transition, including top and bottom surgeries and hormone replacement therapy. I know I don't want the body I have now, and so these options are best for me. But honestly? I still question whether I want surgery and HRT. I really hope this helps, and if not please feel free to ask me about anything else!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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