#brexin

Brexin thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips. He claims his aesthetic is “space biker”, but Maren calls it “mid-life crisis”.

So yea, this is my “science” son in STO, Brexin, who acts like a tacticool officer.

In a startling post-brexit move. Lucifer has decided that he now no longer wants Boris Johnson’s soul, casting serious doubts on Johnson's prime ministerial ambitions.

Speaking to various assembled press outside his home in Hell earlier today, Satan - legally known as Lucifer Morningstar - said:

“It’s true. Boris approached me back in March offering up his soul in return for a Brexit result that would help him achieve his dream of becoming British Prime minister. I went with it because, hey - I’m the Devil and that’s what I do - but I realise that even I, the dark lord of all pain, suffering and misery, have my limits on the type of person that I’m prepared to accept.”

It is understood that the eternity based deal is now being cancelled using clause 5.1c where upon Satan can return a soul under ‘exceptional circumstances’.

Satan continued “Basically, the ‘exceptional circumstances’ here are that Boris Johnson is a total and utter fucking tosser. I can’t bear the thought of having him down here with me and I already look after the worst evil dictators and serial killers in history. Boris is just a step too far. Plus, with all the flames everywhere, Azazel, my health and safety demon tells me that his stupid fucking haircut poses serious fire risks.”

A former friend of Satan’s, the archangel Gabriel, seemed to offer an alternative view, suggesting that Satan was worried that, once he arrived in hell, Boris Johnson would quickly launch a leadership coup to become the new ruler of the underworld.

Said Gabriel: “Satan is no longer the worst being in existence and he’s worried about the competition. Frankly, he should be, because Boris clearly has experience in these sorts of things.”