Let’s see, what is an alternative synonym for the word and number twelve???

 One may assume the word “dozen.” However, this synonym or nickname possesses phrases in several linguistic comparatives; a dime a dozen, by the dozens, daily dozen, a baker’s dozen, maybe a few others. But ultimately, the most bad-ass term always comes down to “The Dirty Dozen.” Well folks, I think we may have found a scrumdiddlyumptious craft beer in a form none other named as “THE MOTHER-EFFIN DIRTY DOZEN!!!”.... subtract the “mother-effin” and you have Founders Dirty Bastard!!

Like, oh my god! Hashtag plaid is my fave!!!! The packaging is so fresh and so clean that it’s a mini portable suitcase full of love grenades. We should ask Outkast to film the commercial for us. Nice way to burst distribute Atlanta market ay?? Regardless of the packaging, the love grenades contain a scotch ale that will have your kilts blowing in the wind. This bad boy helped form Founders into what it is today. Respect and recognize. 

Yep, when late August and early September start kickin’ around, the beers of latter months tend to premature ejac..... I mean, emerge into the market earlier than anticipated and/or desired. This is how the business works. Operational efficiency for the beer industry supply chain is the primary root of Oktoberfests, Pumpkin Beers, Spiced Browns beers, and “fall” seasonals entering into the marketplace while it’s 95+ degrees outside and Frat/Sorority Houses haven’t even been occupied yet. 

The majority of people out there are simply not ready for the demand of oktoberfests and other Q3 styles when they release. But the supply chain has adapted to the market movements on a properly sequenced calendar. These premature market oktoberfest babies are delivered by distributor storks to preemptively land on the freshest beer doormats for proper rotation (for the consumers like us) and for clearance of operational space which is then needed for the winter seasonal releases. 

And let’s not forget people, breweries cannot snap their fingers and create beer out of thin air. It takes time, which is contingent on the scientific relationship with water, fermentable sugars, hops, and most importantly, yeast. Think of this entire procurement and release process as a layered onion, with each onion moving at a slightly different rate; the core is the marketplace and us consumers. The outer layer triggers orbit as the inner layers begin to follow. If a layer fucks up, the core can break. People..... the core cannot break. If the core breaks, breweries won’t have money to begin initial orbit the next time around; which is precisely why many breweries fail. Not for all, but for many. 

Having said all this malarkey, some of these seasonals certainly sell out quickly and some are available in the marketplace a bit longer. At any rate, a man’s (or woman) gotta drink when a man’s (or woman again) gotta drink oktoberfests, pumpkin beers among other seasonal styles. So without further ado, Brewocracy will quickly provide a handful of top notch craft liquids per seasonal category. 

Oktoberfest / Marzen: 

-Westbrook Brewing: Marzenbier 

-Sierra Nevada Brewing: Oktoberfest : Brauhaus Riegele Collaboration

-Great Lakes Brewing: Oktoberfest

-Brooklyn Oktoberfest

-Bayerische Staatsbrauerei Weihenstephan: Festbier

-Victory Brewing: Festbier

-Paulaner Brauerei: Oktoberfest/Marzen

Pumpkin Beers:

-River Horse Brewing: Hipp-O-Lantern

-Dogfish Brewing: Punkin

-Heavy Seas Brewing: The Great’er Pumpkin

-Rogue Ales: Rogue Farms Pumpkin Patch Ale

-Cisco Brewers: Pumple Drumkin

-Weyerbacher Brewing Co. - Imperial Pumpkin

-Southern Tier Brewing: Pumking

Misc Seasonal Releases:

-Rising Tide Brewing: D’Automne (Saison brewed w/ oats & fermented with American & French Farmhouse yeast strains)

-New England Brewing: Ghost Pigeon Porter

-Somerville Brewing: Attic & Eaves

-Allagash Brewing: Fluxus

-Founders Brewing: Breakfast Stout

-Russian River Brewing: Temptation