#brelationshipgoals

So far I have enlightened the world with my thoughts on jealousy and self-esteem. I want to clear up any misunderstandings that may have some male people thinking that I am targeting only women here. Jealousy and self-esteem issues also can imprison men as well as women. No one is excused from real human emotions. Emotions know no face, color, size or gender. There are two victims here, not just one.

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I also feel that I have neglected to reveal how the other party involved in a relationship that suffers from jealousy or self-esteem issues also suffers.

A relationship is a partnership. It is a commitment made between two people, in that we will stand by each other through thick and thin. Unfortunately, when it is a jealousy issue, both parties are effected. We tend to focus on the person that is trapped in the prison of worry, more than the other person that is caught in the line of fire, partly because we need to free that side first, then we can help heal the other.

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Well I am now going to share that persons prison of hell as well.

To be accused and mistrusted by the one you love is a hardship and a definite pain that one cannot bear for a long time. They eventually either walk away or take a stand and call out to you, (the attacker) to please stop; to please listen to what you are saying and accusing them of.

Time after time they try so hard to reassure you that they do love you and that they are not interested nor lusting for anyone else. When they try to tell you that it is all in your mind, they risk getting attacked more for defense. It is no doubt a vicious circle. They become paranoid that no matter where they are, you are already convinced that they have betrayed you in some way. They wait for the shoe to drop. Some times it takes a few days, some times it drops immediately. Never the less they have to sit by and worry about when it will drop. They fear that this time they will not be able to say the right thing. They fear we will get even more depressed and irrational with what they say to us. They begin to feel, "damned if they do, and damned if they don`t". I personally hate that feeling. To think that I myself would put someone in that position makes me want to run away faster than Forrest Gump.

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The neglect you put on that person through your jealous insecurities is as real to them as your feelings of being trapped in your prison of doubt. There are many scenarios as to why jealousy rises up inside people, but for the innocent ones that really do not ever do anything to trigger that fear inside you, they are the innocent victims. People that have come to the point of identifying their issues and have began to deal with them, please remember the other person that is there with you. They too need special attention, because they have shared your fears and your pain. In a much different way, never the less, they still ache. Jealousy can destroy so many good things in ones lives. It can destroy our mate, through you, it kills the one thing that you love deeply. The worst part about it is, that you allow it. You must stop. Would you take a gun and shoot your mate? NOT!! So then why are you allowing this emotion to torture what is so dear to you? I repeat, as long as your mate is not responsible for your fears or if they have made amends and are trying to make things better, then please understand their pain of being mistrusted. When they see you in pain and they are being told it is because of them, they crumble. Your mate loves you as much as you love them, and to feel they are responsible for your trapped feelings eats them up inside. To see you smile and feel totally loved makes them feel good about themselves in that they are responsible for that smile. That is a good feeling all the way around.

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Also be careful not to fall into that habit of being unhappy through jealous feelings. Understand where they are coming from. Are you using them as a reason to get attention? Again, a wrong kind of attention. If you cannot get the right attention you feel you are lacking, then talk to your partner. Do not let jealous emotions take over and confuse what you really are trying to say. Any weakness in your mind is a direct route for negative feelings to travel through. Once they get there, they work very quickly at bringing you down. So be aware of what exactly you are feeling.

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I hope that I have at least opened up some thoughts in your minds as to what else is going on in a relationship that is plagued by jealousy. Both sides are equally being torchered and killed. We need to LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH more often with each other. Oh and lets not forget my favorite thing to do…HUGGGGGG!!!!

One thought from my heart to yours:

Say this outloud:

"I am always ready to risk. I am always ready to learn. I am always ready to test my strength, and so I put my worries aside and just live!"

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Why are some relationships more honest than others? Why are some couples more truthful with each other while others like to deceive the partner? Nobody deserves to be lied, but there are no doubts that women are telling lies considerably and often. But so men do the same.

If you have trust issues in your relationship, in general, a woman may lie to you. Trust is something that you must build from the beginning of the relationship. Even though, a lot of people say ‘‘white lies'' in order to make others feel better. Some women lie because, as caring creatures they want to spare the feelings of the man they are dating or seeing.

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So, here are some common lies told by women that you should know. Someday you might hear them from your partner and it is better to know their real meaning.

1.You're perfect. I love you just the way you are and I wouldn't change a thing about you. Let's be serious; nobody is perfect. At the beginning of a relationship all of them say this because they didn't know you very well but after some time will definitely find something that needs changed. So, if she tells you something like this, don't be too enthusiastic because she finds you perfect just for a couple of days, and after that she will ask you to change.

2.You're right. Every time you are arguing with you're girlfriend usually ends up by telling you that you are right? Maybe this makes you feel proud of you, but you have to know that this is a big lie. She said this just to make you shut up, even if she didn't consider that you're right. She knows that after a while you will see that she was right, and may be waiting for apologize.

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3.Nothing is wrong. The most common lie '' I'm fine'' when asked if there is something wrong is the most used by women. You see that she is upset, she is acting strange or doesn't want to talk to you too much and ask her what is the problem she says that everything is fine. They don't want to tell the real truth but they are expecting that men to figure out that something is wrong and those they had a mistake with something.

4.I do love sports honey. Maybe she agrees to stay and watch with you every week at a football game but this doesn't really mean that she like it. She accepts to do this just to show you that she is different from other girls and you have common interest. You may be thinking that you have found the perfect girl for you, because not many of them would like to stay to watch football, but don't be too happy because after a while she might had enough and get angry every time you sit down to watch a game.

5.I like spending time with your friends. At the beginning this is ok, but not too much. Even if they are good friends of you, she would like to spend more time alone with you and not with your friends. If she didn't tell you already this, she will ask you to keep visits from your buddies at minimum and then she might keep pretending she loves them.

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6.Your family is adorable, so I like spending time with your family. The truth? Maybe twice a month. Think about it. Do you really think that she likes to spend time with your family where everybody is criticizing her and watch her every move? She agrees to spend time with your family when is necessary but she doesn't do it with much pleasure even if she is pretending in front of you that she likes them.

7.Your bank account doesn't matter. I hope you didn't believe this. We all know that this is definitely a lie. All women want a guy that is financial stable and independent, a guy that can assure her a future with no financial problems. This doesn't mean that you have to be very rich to have a girlfriend, but you have to have some money.

8.It doesn't bother to me if you look after women or go with your boys at strip-clubs. This is too good to be truth. Even she says that this is ok, she will definitely be upset that you want to go. They hate to feel second best to a night out with the guys, and accept this in order to make themselves seem less pathetically needy. If you choose to go, she will make you a lot of comments after, so you better think twice before you go.

9.You are very good in bed. If she choose to speak about this topic without you ask her, you don't have to believe all she says. If she starts to compliment you about your sexual experience it doesn't mean that she really believes that. Often a woman who cares about a man tell him all that she knows he wants to hear just to make him feel good about himself. So think about your girlfriend, your relationship, your sexual experience and see if you really deserve compliments on this topic.

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10.Don't worry, it happens to everyone. If you just make a mistake, or fail in bed, you might hear this lie from your girlfriend. She doesn't want to show you how upset she is on you but in her mind thinks something else. I wouldn't be too sure that your mistake is forgiven and I would worry in not making too many '' accidents'' like these.

With all these presented, now will be more easy for you to know when your girlfriend is lying. As you see, what a woman says is not what she really thinks.

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If you are trying to pick up women online and just can't get at least one date a week you certainly need a little help. Just read this article and start using these online flirting success tips and they will help you to get that

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first date much faster.You don't want to spend too much time online because you really can't feel the chemistry until the first “real world” date. However, you can get the women you're talking to to be interested in you and set her “ on fire” just to get to know you better.Keep in mind that women feel attraction for a very different set of reasons than men do. Where men focus more on looks, women focus more on personality, self esteem, power and confidence. So, what are the secrets to get a date after one hour and 15 minutes of flirting online?

Make your replies simple and use easy questions. Concentrate on the conversation, not on getting a date. Remember that flirting is a way of connecting from the heart and acknowledging someone. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with.

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Women always fall for men who are a little bit unreachable. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve.

Be yourself. The underlying key to all flirtation is confidence, the magical charm that makes others want to get to know you.

Be funny but in the same time a little bit arrogant. It creates a wonderful, entertaining challenge that women just love to engage in… If you make a naughty, fun comment, something she is NOT expecting, then something magical begins to happen: she feels a spark of attraction, curiosity, intrigue because you're obviously different.

People like people who are interested in them. So when you engage someone in conversation make sure you spend at least 62% of the time listening to THEM!

6.When you are talking about you, tell enough just to get her trust but keep a little mystery about you.

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Never ever make yourself to available. In one hour of online conversation you have to make her believe that you're confident, that you're intelligent and funny. Don't stay any longer or you risk to become boring.

Find an excuse and just go, but not before you let her know that you're interested in her. Set another online date but not for the next day. You are a busy guy! Let her heat up a little bit. :)

At the second date (online), after 15 minutes of talking, just say “Hey, I have some spare time this evening, can we meet? I just want to… convince myself that you are real.” This way, she will be surprised and won't have to much time to make the decision and you will run less risk of being rejected. If she is interested in you but she already has something fixed for that evening, she will ask for a date another time. If she don' t, just say, next! Good luck and have fun!

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If you are trying to pick up women online and just can't get at least one date a week you certainly need a little help. Just read this article and start using these online flirting success tips and they will help you to get that first date much faster.

CLICK HERE

You don't want to spend too much time online because you really can't feel the chemistry until the first “real world” date. However, you can get the women you're talking to to be interested in you and set her “on fire” just to get to know you better.

Keep in mind that women feel attraction for a very different set of reasons than men do. Where men focus more on looks, women focus more on personality, self esteem, power and confidence.

So, what are the secrets to get a date after one hour and 15 minutes of flirting online?

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Make your replies simple and use easy questions. Concentrate on the conversation, not on getting a date. Remember that flirting is a way of connecting from the heart and acknowledging someone. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with.

Women always fall for men who are a little bit unreachable. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve.

Be yourself. The underlying key to all flirtation is confidence, the magical charm that makes others want to get to know you.

Be funny but in the same time a little bit arrogant. It creates a wonderful, entertaining challenge that women just love to engage in… If you make a naughty, fun comment, something she is NOT expecting, then something magical begins to happen: she feels a spark of attraction, curiosity, intrigue because you're obviously different.

People like people who are interested in them. So when you engage someone in conversation make sure you spend at least 62% of the time listening to THEM!

When you are talking about you, tell enough just to get her trust but keep a little mystery about you.

Never ever make yourself to available. In one hour of online conversation you have to make her believe that you're confident, that you're intelligent and funny. Don't stay any longer or you risk to become boring.

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Find an excuse and just go, but not before you let her know that you're interested in her. Set another online date but not for the next day. You are a busy guy! Let her heat up a little bit. :)

At the second date (online), after 15 minutes of talking, just say “Hey, I have some spare time this evening, can we meet? I just want to… convince myself that you are real.” This way, she will be surprised and won't have to much time to make the decision and you will run less risk of being rejected.

If she is interested in you but she already has something fixed for that evening, she will ask for a date another time. If she don't, just say, next!

Good luck and have fun!

Dating, age, youth, romance, love

Here in the western world we are obsessed with youth. Our media is saturated with images of the young, beautiful and happy selling us products on the back of the promise that we will become like them if we should only buy this face cream or that car or this insurance policy. The fantastic and circular equation this fallacy is based on seems to be that youth=beauty=success=desirability=love=happiness=youth etc. One only has to look at our icons of romance to see the indelible link between youth and romance. In fact, two of our most famous romantic icons, Juliet and Pocahontas (as lauded by Peggy Lee in the classic love song 'Fever') were so young at the time of embarking on their turbulent romances that they would not, today, be considered of legal age. In amongst all this, ne could easily be left with the impression that beyond the age of thirty, all hope for romance is lost.

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Happily this is not so! Our senior citizens are getting involved in the dating game in their droves. Actually in all probability they have been doing it for years but the older generation, certainly in Britain, are renowned for their discretion almost to the point of coyness. Luckily for social analysts and writers like myself, a convergence of recent phenomena makes it possible to now gain a much fuller impression of just what our seniors are getting up to!

Recent years have seen an explosion in the number of 'silver surfers', that is to say people of retirement age or above who are web literate to a greater or lesser extent and are making regular use of the Internet. The same period has seen a rapid growth in the online dating industry. The result of these two phenomena is that we can see quite plainly, looking at the figures, that it's definitely not just the young folks who are looking for love online. A recent study carried out by my company revealed over 14,000 active dating site users over the age of 65 compared to an average age group membership of just over 25,000. With numbers like this it's understandable that seniors are regarded as an important demographic by us in the online dating industry and hardly surprising that classes in Internet dating are springing up at places like the Pleasant Hill Senior Centre in Contra Costa, California.

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With a population that is increasingly ageing as the baby boom generation reach their 60s and take a greater knowledge and awareness of current and developing technologies into their later years, it can only be expected that this phenomenon will increase. And so it should be! Why should the spring chickens get a monopoly on the joys of spring?

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You are out from a long time relationship; no matter if she left you or you have left her. You are free now to do what you want and to meet who you want, when you want.

After a while you feel that you are ready to get in a new relationship. You even have met a nice girl who looks like she is interested in you. Slowly, things are getting more serious and you get to know better your new partner.

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But something is bothering you, and you don't know what it is. Than you realize that she is not doing things like you were used to be done, she is not doing things like your ex used to make them (it's not about all things, but those you loved at your ex).

Last days I have met a friend of mine I haven't seen for a long time. It was a surprise for me when a nice girl comes to us, and he has introduced her like his girlfriend. I didn't know that he has broken up with his ex, which is a very sexy, feminine woman.

After, his new girlfriend left, I asked my friend what happened with his ex and how things are going in his new relationship. He told me that he’ s in this new relationship for over 7 months, his girlfriend is a nice woman and he has nothing to blame her.

But, something is missing. He was used to be with a very feminine woman, which enjoyed her woman qualities all the time. He confessed me that it is very difficult for him to get used to live without some things which he has experimented before and he knows that does exist.

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He also told me something that made me smile: 'If I could take my ex qualities and put them next to my new partner's qualities I would make the perfect women for me.' :)

But how good it could be if we would be able to make the perfect woman? Not so good as we all think, believe me. I say it all the time, perfection is boring.

However, a person after a breakup has to think mostly to the reasons for the breakup with his ex and not to her qualities. I am sure that you have very good reasons to break up with a person which who you have spend years together.

Relief you from your past relationship and let your new girlfriend make you happy in her own way. Learn to enjoy your girl’s qualities and personality and don't make your ex girlfriend’s qualities a problem for your present or future relationships.

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Elopement normally happens to troublesome teen couples. It includes not only the traditional form of eloping, where you head down to the local justice of the peace, but now, many couples are tying their knots in many exciting, out-of-the-ordinary ways.

Most couples will have a day dream and start with exciting plans of a romantic, enjoyable traditional wedding. They dream up wild ideas for creating a memorable event to start their lives together. And then… reality hits. Family members dabble their fingers in the minute details. For example, Aunt Jan offers to sing her favorite love song, in operatic voice, while you want a cellist and pianist. In addition to your family intrusions, you can see your bank account and maybe your parent's as well, beginning to plummet from all the essentials that make a wedding successful. Estimates put the average American wedding in the $20,000 to $25,000 range. And since 30% of couples end up paying for their own wedding, this can often mean the difference between having a memorable one day event and having a down payment on a home. Plus, coordinating everything… from photographer, to location, to dates, to relatives, becomes an increasingly painful experience.

Other factors have also played an important role in couples who elope. The average age of marrying couples has slowly risen since the 1950's. This has led to couples who are more independent and not as worried about pleasing parents and friends when they tie the knot. Also, due to high divorce rates, many second marriages lead couples to opt for smaller, more practical ceremonies. It also seems, in general, that social pressures have lessened in regards to non-traditional weddings.

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Some couples find they have lived together for several years, and finally decide they just want to legally consummate their relationship. In fact, a large portion of elopers, some independent statistics show up to 75%, actually plan their weddings months in advance. This is much different from the common perception of an instant, spontaneous wedding… which is often how we see elopers portrayed on TV and in the media. If you have hit that point, where you are tired of all the stressful planning, all the schedule juggling, and all the money draining from your account, then maybe it's time to stop. Relax! And think about the other wedding option… eloping.

It seems that eloping is not a romantic idea at all. It is a wedding strategy that can lessen your stress and give you a lot of fun memories to share others.

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While you search the internet for that special lady…the one of your dreams…your soul-mate…the other half of yourself, you can do a lot of things right. Sadly, you can, also, do a lot of things wrong….things that will guarantee failure and a broken heart. Out in the “real” world, being aggressive, demanding perfection and even little white lies are all ingredients for success. However, those same qualities are killers when you are dating online and off line, too, for that matter.

There is a big difference between being aggressive or confident and being too aggressive, over-confident, or just plain sleazy or slimy from a woman’s point of view. If you push too hard for a face-to-face, you will come across as too aggressive…maybe even, scary. Try to remember that you are not trying to close a business deal and keep the relationship progressing at a slow but steady pace. Patience is the key.

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Nobody is perfect. We are all flawed in some way or another…and that includes you, as well. If you expect the woman to be absolutely perfect and demand that, you will always be disappointed. Demanding perfectionism in your work is one thing. Demanding perfectionism from a friend, co-worker or a lady you are interested in is not just fine. It won’t happen. Expect flaws and just deal with them. Decide the ones you can live with and those you can’t.

Little white lies and false fronts won’t work. Be honest from the beginning of a relationship. Write your profile. Make it interesting but don’t make false statements. The truth will come out eventually anyway. If you say you are a lawyer who makes a million bucks a year and you are really an electrician that makes $75,000, you have set yourself up for failure.

Remember…don’t be too aggressive, expect to ever find perfection or put on a false front.

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