#breaknbake

You are my actual favorite person.

1. If money were not an issue for you, what would your chosen career be? Nomad/novelist, probably. Accidental shitty travel blogger. I still want to live out of a bus, and that would probably involve me instagramming pictures of weird toilets or trees or something. 

2. You are a magical girl, what is your weapon? (no matter how mystical, modern, or archaic) I tried to pick something interesting, but it'd be a fucking walkman.

3. You have a dæmon (companion animal that reflects your personality), what is it? Alternately what is your patronus? Wolf? Wolf.

Awoo

4. What is the last thing you bought (that you are willing to admit to)? Steak n Shake, actually.

5. You can learn how to do one thing, Matrix style (“I know kung fu”). What is that thing? Building shit. Like woodworking and metalworking and shit. Like building cool ass furniture out of junk. Alternately, human psychology. I would say writing, but the fun part about writing is learning shit and experimenting. Just knowing would kind of suck the joy out of it, I think.

6. What is your favorite gemstone, mineral, metal, alloy, or element? Silver and sapphires. I'm picking two. You can't stop me.

7. What is one thing you know more about than everyone around you? Getting shampoo up your nose and also the Holocaust.

8. What is an unpopular opinion that you have avoided posting on tumblr because you don’t feel like dealing with the backlash? Your stance on gun control is unsupported by anything other than extremely biased opinion. Yes I will shoot you if you try to take away my gun. I paid for my gun. I registered my gun with the state. The government knows I own this gun. If you try to take it away from me you're stealing. Don't take shit from people. It's rude. Trigger warnings have gotten to the point where they are largely useless. I don't need to tell you if a character dies. I don't need to tell you if there's a needle in this chapter. I need to tell you if there's adult themes. I need to tell you the nature of those things. I'm not going to tell you what happens. No one does that. Y'all treat straight, white, christian, and dude people the way the Wesboro Baptist Church treats everyone, and just because your opinion is different does not mean it's acceptable. All y'all that think peaceful protest solves nothing forget that Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated. Making fun of someone is bullying. I don't care what they did or who they are. When I say be nice to people, I mean be nice to people. I don't mean only be nice to people that you think are cool and somehow more deserving of your good behavior. You don't know them. Stop projecting malicious thoughts onto complete strangers.

9. All else in your life being the same, you can have a single food item and automatically and infinitely restocks itself. (example: a jar of peanut butter that never goes bad and never is empty) What is that food item? A bag of trail mix. One of the ones with most food groups in it - like dried fruits and nuts and yogurt covered pretzels or something idk. I'd never go hungry, and I could hand it out to people that needed food. Also good for camping trips.

10. Take a picture of the view out of your nearest window (assuming it won’t compromise your privacy, obviously)

Me: I want a tiny skateboard.

Friend: Wear knee pads.

Me: Knee pads are for pussies.

Friend: You have a vagina.

Friend: You are attracted to people with vaginas.

Friend: If anyone is a pussy it's you.

Me: ...

new record?