#breaking things down

One of the hardest parts of executive dysfunction is planning. There are a lot of different parts, and all of them require skills we do not have!

This Tumblr is here to help with breaking tasks and projects down into steps, but even once you have that, there’s figuring out how long stuff is going to take and scheduling each step so you get things done on time. And then you have to battle inertia to actually do the things!

But let’s go back to the beginning. Sure, if you need the steps for a task you can look here or send an ask. But what if that’s not an option, or the steps we have aren’t going to work for you?

Here is how you break down a task into its steps. I will use brushing your teeth as my example. Yes, you are going to find out exactly how I brush my teeth

1. Write down the task.

Brushing my teeth.

2. Write down all of the things you can think of that need to happen to do the task, including fetching materials. Don’t worry about the order yet.

Put toothpaste on toothbrush

Put toothbrush on outside of back upper molars

Scrub outside of upper teeth

Scrub outside of bottom teeth

Scrub top of bottom teeth

Scrub bottom of upper teeth

Scrub inside of upper teeth

Scrub inside of bottom teeth

Get toothbrush

Get toothpaste

Brush top of tongue

Rinse mouth with lukewarm water

Get cup

Rinse toothbrush

Put away toothbrush

Put cap on toothpaste

Put toothpaste away

Rinse rim of cup

Put cup away

Remember you should brush your teeth

Go to bathroom sink

3. Figure out what order the steps actually go in. Think about whether you can do the next step in your list after the first one, and also think about the order you usually do the steps in. If you realize you forgot something, add it now!

Remember you should brush your teeth

Go to bathroom sink

Get toothbrush

Get toothpaste

Get cup

Put toothpaste on toothbrush

Put cap on toothpaste

Put toothpaste away

Put toothbrush on outside of back upper molars

Scrub outside of upper teeth

Scrub outside of bottom teeth

Scrub top of bottom teeth

Scrub bottom of upper teeth

Scrub inside of upper teeth

Scrub inside of bottom teeth

Brush top of tongue

Rinse mouth with lukewarm water

Rinse rim of cup

Put cup away

Rinse toothbrush

Put away toothbrush

Smile big on the mirror and celebrate!

Like if I were to say that I don't become friends with someone unless I can benefit from that relationship. That can sound bad. But what I'm actually saying is that I choose friendships where I want to spend time with them, have common interests, and/or they have qualities that I like about them.

I'm not going to remain friends with someone that I dread spending time with. I'm not going to remain friends with someone that we never have common ground or can agree to do something together with. I'm not going to be friends with someone who draws out the worst qualities in me.

I work full time and go to school part time. My commute time for these things is anywhere from 35 minutes to an hour one way. My time is limited. On any given day I have only 1.5 hours to 6 hours of my day that isn't either work, school, commuting or getting ready to do those things. Those 1.5-6 hours is composed of showering, doing laundry, homework, making food, eating, decompressing, or spending time with friends. My time is very limited especially around finals and midterms. Why would I want to spend time with someone who I don't enjoy my time with them?

Little and often makes much. #fortunecookie #success #achievement #challenges #hiking #Aesop

There are times in our lives when some things may seem out of reach—more often for me since I’m so short. It’s not uncommon to come up with grand ideas for ourselves. We may be saving towards a large purchase, starting a major in college, or about to take a long hike. Our plans can seem humongous when we first have them, but our accomplishment is possible if we know how to tackle them.

Today’s…

"Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs."  -- Henry Ford "You don't set out to build a wall. You don't say "I'm going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that's ever been built." You don't start there. You say, "I'm going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid." You do that every single day. And soon you have a wall."  -- Will Smith

Be careful how easily your mind creates a picture of something, and makes it look daunting. It is only a picture in your head. It is not a real representation of anything. In life you can’t accomplish huge tasks at once, because accomplishing things on any kind of scale always requires a series of small actions. There are not many “big” actions. There is just this one, right now. If you can honour this one, this task, right now, then it is done perfectly, and it makes all subsequent steps easier.

But usually we have an energy inside us that wants to get away, to get everything done at once so that we can relax, and so we can overlook what we are doing now, and end up making things harder as we go along the road.

You needn’t do everything at once. If you just let yourself do this one thing, whatever you are doing, then it is SO much easier than when your mind is whispering or shouting in your ear, telling you about everything that you still have to do.

Have you noticed that when you are hurried and rushed, you are more likely to make errors, forget things, overlook things or do things in a more careless way? And then because of that, we can end up taking even longer to do something, because we were so obsessed with being somewhere else.

Doing something quickly is not necessarily the same thing. You can run as fast as you can, without the mindset of rushing. When an athlete rushes, becomes desperate to get to the next piece of track, they begin to tense up, lose their form, lose their flow and slow down. Speed needs relaxation. If you are tense, you can not move. Your body must be relaxed so that it can move. 

So honour this moment, whatever you are doing, and let your doing become infused with fullness, with presence, with love.

In Portland I learned a little bit about fairytale love from a good friend of mine. He told me how much he loves the wonderful girlfriend he's with and how he just knows that she's the one he wants to marry and grow old with. As complicated as the feeling of love is, he made it seem so simple. In his words, "it's just right." I'm incredibly happy for him and I can admit, I'm a little jealous that he found his "soul mate." They really do deserve each other.

Somehow that conversation ended up leading into my loveless life. Sure, I love my family and my friends and I'm sure some of them love me back too-- but I didn't know that there's a right and wrong way to love. Apparently, giving too much when the other party doesn't reciprocate isn't love because it doesn't come full circle. I still don't fully understand that concept, but I'm trying to piece it together.  One thing lead to another and I ended up promising him that I'll try caring less about people who "don't deserve me." Though that makes sense, it's just hard sometimes. Just because someone doesn't reciprocate the same appreciation, it doesn't mean that I should give up on them right? Or am I just justifying their actions so that I can perpetuate this feeling of pseudo comfort? Nevertheless, a promise is a promise and I really don't like breaking promises I can keep.

So here I am, trying my hardest not to comment on the ridiculous things a friend of mine is doing whenever he's brought up. I'm just biting my tongue and neglecting my urge to give two shits about him, because then; that would mean I would set aside my own needs to focus on another persons' and I can't keep doing that anymore.

Apart of me wants to tell our mutual friend that I don't want to talk about him anymore and I think it's a good idea to take a break from him when he clearly doesn't want to be present in my life either (which is kind of understandable cause I went to my therapy session and found out where I fucked up in the whole reciprocation of divulging personal information to keep a friendship growing). The thing is, I don't want to put our friends through that-- me choosing to separate myself from him makes it harder for everyone to hang out without strategically planning who can be there and who can't cause apparently he's already mad at two other people in the group.