I was wondering if this could be aat/scripting possibility: I like to script my reactions to things (emotions). I was wondering if that could be an actual thing/common thing? For example, if someone said that their pet died, I would said that's really sad, and know that I should feel bad for them, so I plan to feel bad for them, and then do. I was also wondering if you have any advice for breaking scripts? My automatic response to "how are you?" Is always "I'm tired", but I'm not always tired.
Yes, this would be an example of scripting.
One reason scripts can be so helpful to autistic people is that they allow you to respond quickly to what is happening without having to think, something many autistic people find difficult due to processing issues and differences in social understanding. Where allistic people can generally respond quickly, an autistic person may need more time, which they may not be granted.
One way you may be able to break a script may be to give yourself that time, eliminating the need for the script in the first place. Instead of reacting the way you have learned to respond, when in a situation in that you would usually use the script, try to mentally pause and take a step back. Consciously take in what is happening and how you would normally respond. Then challenge yourself to react differently by gently reminding yourself that there may be other ways you could respond and exploring them before giving your answer. I talk about this in this post.
If doing this results in pauses in conversations or slower replies on your part, that is ok. This may initially feel unusual or awkward to those around you (or yourself), especially if they are not neurodivergent themselves. After a while (and possibly an explanation on your part), they should be able to get accustomed to it. People you interact with closely, such as friends, family or partner(s), will typically care about your well-being and thus want to support you in figuring out how to express how you are feeling in an authentic way.
Anyone falling outside these categories (with the exception of doctors, councelors, therapists etc.), generally doesn’t expect or require a genuine response to “how are you” in which case your script would be appropriate.
If someone you care about or are close to were to judge you on this or demand you act differently (and this is a pattern), it may be worth evaluating if the relationship is a positive influence in your life or if you may be better off surrounding yourself with people who are willing to support and accommodate you.
Do our followers have other ideas for breaking scripts?
-Kath
