#break-up royality

 Roman sat in his car, hands on the wheel as he stared at the front door of his home…their home…warring with himself about whether to enter or not.

 He hadn’t been able to shake the feelings or thoughts from that morning. Even now, he was considering giving in to his own cowardice and just running. But…he did love Patton and he wanted this to work.

 It was just hard to figure out what it was he did wrong.

 He took a deep breath, turning his car off and leaning back into his seat. What was it that had sparked the argument again? Something about his tie? Or his coffee? He couldn’t quite recall. They’d had so many fights lately, they all seemed to be blurring together into one great big argument.

 Roman wasn’t prepared to walk in to another fight.

 And no matter how hard Roman thought back, he couldn’t quite figure out where it all started. They had gone from never arguing to always arguing so quickly he wasn’t even sure how to fix it. They’d discussed communicating, being open with one another, discussing things when they came up…

 But it always seemed as though Patton was blowing up when everything was at its happiest, when everything should have been fine.

 So communicating clearly wasn’t working. Not that Roman wasn’t actively trying. It was hard but he was trying.

 He took a deep breath as he tried to remember the fight from that morning. No…no, it had definitely been about the coffee. Roman had picked up the wrong brand again, that’s right…

 Oh…and Patton had compared him to Logan…again…

 Under the remaining anger and sadness, his heart twisted painfully and he sighed shakily. It wasn’t fair! How could Patton keep comparing him to Logan?! How was he still comparable? Logan had left him for Virgil ten years ago! It wasn’t exactly Roman’s fault that he had a million things in his mind, growing universes that he got lost in…

 Especially at the store.

 It was just a brand of coffee and somehow that meant he forgot everything. Unlike Logan, who never forgot anything. Roman nearly scoffed to himself. Of course he hadn’t. Logan had always set himself reminders. That was how he stayed on top of everything.

 Because his poor phone was constantly ringing.

 Well, he really couldn’t stay in the car all night…could he? No…no, he definitely couldn’t.

 With a deep sigh, Roman convinced himself to get out of the car, draping his blazer over his shoulder and closing the car door behind him. It sounded so final, he mused to himself as he locked the car and wandered to the front door, setting his keys into his pocket.

 Oh…

 He paused at the front door, pulling out the small velvet box. How long ago had he bought this? Months, probably. He had wanted to propose, on their anniversary of four years, just before they moved into this house…but they’d had a fight and it felt wrong to propose when he was upset.

 And so, the box had apparently languished in his pocket.

 He shoved it back in, unlocking the front door and stepping in, “Patton, baby, I’m home.” he called, hanging his jacket up by the door and turning to the living room, “I really need you…” the world seemed to stop moving when he saw Patton sitting on the couch. Near him, a familiar dark haircut, the figure sitting with their back to the door, “…right now…”

 Slowly, the head turned and Roman stared. Logan was sitting in the recliner, his eyes red-rimmed and cheeks puffy. His face crumpled when he saw Roman, darting to his feet, “I’m so sorry, Roman-”

 The world was still trying to put itself back together, but the sudden apology…Roman felt his heart crash to his feet, scattering around his boots like fine glass. Never to be put back together.

 “What’s going on…?” he whispered breathlessly, wondering if his chest was about to cave in as he stumbled forward, “Pat?”

 Logan fought back a sob, wiping blindly at tears. Had Virgil died? No…no, they would have heard about this sooner. Logan wasn’t wearing his ring…

 Wait…the call…

 “I can’t keep doing this anymore-”

 “Logan, please-”

 “No, Patton!” Logan cried, meeting Patton’s eyes, “Just look at him!”

 Roman stared between the pair, his eyes wide, feeling like a deer in headlights. Or like he’d walked into the wrong classroom and all eyes were on him but he had nowhere to go or excuses to give. He didn’t know what was happening.

 “He’s so confused and he loves you so much!”

 Roman frowned as Logan shook his head, taking off his glasses to try and wipe at his face.

 “And I can’t deal with this guilt!”

 Guilt? Roman wondered to himself, still looking between the pair, trying to understand what was happening.

 “Virgil’s gone because of this!” Roman felt his gut drop to his feet next, “I don’t know where he is and I’ll never find him!” Roman wobbled.

 Virgil ran? Ran from what? Why was he running? Virgil ran a lot, that was true, but Logan had always known where he was. He had always been able to bring him home, like the damn nerd had put a tracker on the flighty emo. If Logan didn’t know where he was…Virgil wouldn’t be found.

 Until he wanted to be.

 “What’s happening?” Roman asked, his voice wobbly and small, looking from Logan to Patton. He was scared of the answer, already feeling gutted and raw and broken, but he had to know. If this had hurt Virgil enough to tear him away from the man he’d loved for literal years even when he’d been dating Patton?

 It had been bad.

 Logan’s tirade stopped abruptly, turning to Roman with the most apologetic look he’d ever seen on the nerd’s face. He opened his mouth to answer, but Patton bowed his head, hands clasped between his thighs.

 “Roman.” his voice was unusually serious and Roman swallowed hard, “You should come sit down.”

 Everything about that felt bad. He shook his head, “No…no, I’m good right here.” he answered, his voice picking up a slight edge, “Just tell me…tell me what’s happening-”

 Patton took a deep breath, lifting his head and looking to Roman. Eyes once so full of love were now cold and hard, “I’ve been seeing Logan.”

 Roman scoffed, “So? You’re friends.” he answered shakily, looking from Logan to Patton. He desperately didn’t want to believe what was coming, hoping one of them wouldn’t look so damn guilty or cold, “That’s what friends do. Hang out and…see each other.”

 Logan’s face crumpled and Roman half-expected a quip about how stupid he was as Patton rolled his eyes, “No, Roman. Dates.”

 Now it felt like the world was shattering around him, the ground giving out from beneath him, everything he’d built crumbling down around his head.

 “Dates?” he asked, voice tiny and hurt, “You’ve been…seeing Logan…like…”

 “Like college, yeah.” Patton answered simply.

 Had Patton and Logan swapped personalities? Why was Logan the one crying his eyes out while Patton spat out his words like facts?

 “I’m so sorry, Roman.” Logan sobbed, falling into a recliner and dropping his glasses to the floor as he hid his face, “I’m so sorry, I never meant for this-”

 “Never meant for this?” Roman asked, still stunned, blinking rapidly, “Never meant for what?” he asked with a scoff, feeling anger rise to fill the holes the news had left in his chest and stomach, “Never meant to date?”

 Patton sighed hard, “That was my idea.” he answered and Roman jerked, turning to Patton.

 “Y-” Roman barely managed to pull air into his lungs,  “Your idea?”

 Patton nodded and took a deep breath, “I don’t love you, Roman.” he held his gaze to Patton’s, even as the world continued to fall apart around him, “It’s been months-”

 “Don’t.” Roman choked out.

 Logan sobbed, “I’m so sor-”

 “Don’t!” he barked, choking on his own sob and gripping the bench, hanging his head and digging out the ring. He couldn’t stop staring at the ring box, “I never stopped loving you, Patton.” he whimpered, realising tears were just raining down his face.

 “I’m sorry, Roman-” Patton started.

 Roman tossed the ring box across the room, watching with satisfaction as it fell on it’s side, discarding the piece of jewelry in full view, “I fucking bet you are.” he snarled, sobbing as Patton and Logan stared at the ring, “I fucking bet you’re sorry.” he hiccuped on a sob, “Were you sorry to Virgil too? Huh?” Patton’s head swivelled to Roman, eyes widening slightly as he kept trying to swipe tears from his cheeks, “Did you apologise so sincerely?” his voice broke and he felt his chest cave, the pain cold and aching, like a twisting knife, “I bet he really believed you.”

 “Don’t bring Virgil into this-”

 Roman scoffed, “Fuck you.” he stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs, his mind racing with thoughts he couldn’t quite catch, his body alight with anger and heartbreak and pain. He didn’t bother to pack a bag, changing out of his suit and leaving it haphazardly thrown on the bed.

 He chose a tight pair of jeans and an old t-shirt, sliding his old bomber jacket on and looking to the mirror. He knew where he was going, what he was doing and he wanted to look his damn best for it too.

 Roman didn’t really know any other way to tell himself that it was really over.

 He was almost going to storm out the door when he saw the state the bed was in…

 Roman remembered making the bed that morning…he remembered because he had hoped to put Patton in a slightly better mood, see that he was still loved…

 He winced as the twisting knife stabbed him again. What a pathetic excuse of a boyfriend he was. Making the bed-

 And then it occurred to him.

 He wanted to scream, wanted to tear his hair out, wanted to throw the photo frames across the room until they shattered. But he lashed out at the bed instead, pulling the sheets from the mattress, pulling the duvet out of the cover, discarding pillows from their cases.

 He stood amongst a pile of fabric, the sheets and covers Patton had picked himself, picking one of them up and tearing it between his hands. It felt so fucking good to do so.

 So he did again.

 And again.

 Until his mountain of fabric was three times the size it had been.

 He dragged it back with him into the living room. Logan had excused himself out to the back porch, with Patton looking worriedly at Logan’s shaking shoulders. Those eyes hardened when they turned to Roman, before widening.

 “When I get back, I want you out of my house. You and all your shit.” he growled. Patton’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to argue, “You want the house, take me to court.” he snarled, “Oh, and your cards are hereby cancelled.”

 Patton got to his feet as Roman moved to the front door, “Roman, think about this for a second.” Roman paused at the front door, “We’ve been unhappy for months. You’re too busy at work to-”

 Roman spun on Patton, “Don’t you dare put the blame on me.” he growled, “You refused to get a fucking job.” Patton’s eyes widened, “You wanted a big ass house. I’m the one keeping the fucking lights on.” he snarled, “So you can shoulder your own goddamn fucking guilt.” he turned back to the door, “Get your shit out of my house. And don’t you ever talk to me again.”

 Patton was silent as Roman stormed out, using his phone to drain Patton’s accounts and cancel the cards. He climbed into his car, slamming the door shut and changed the password into the accounts.

 He wasn’t paying the layabout ‘househusband’ shit. Cheat on him… have sex in their bed? What happened to ‘I love you’ and ‘I promise I’ll never’?

 He reversed out, more than prepared to go drown his sorrows. He powered through the streets, only snapping out of his anger when he saw a familiar black and purple hoodie slowly making its way down the sidewalk. He pulled over, rolling his window down.

 “Get in bitch, we’re getting plastered.”

 Virgil jumped, turning to Roman. His eyes widened with surprise, before they hardened with pain and anguish, “I’m not going back to Logan-”

 Roman laughed bitterly, “Forget that asshole.” he snarled, relishing the way Virgil’s eyes widened. His heart twisted when he saw the understanding and sympathy in Virgil’s eyes.

 He climbed into the car, his bangs falling over his eyes and he slumped as Roman pulled away from the sidewalk.

 “I’m so sorry-”

 Roman shook his head, “You did nothing wrong.” He answered, “Not yet.”

 “Yet?” he asked cautiously.

 “You. Me. Bar. Copious amounts of alcohol. Two bad phone calls.”

 Virgil raised an eyebrow, “Revenge sex?” he asked with a wet scoff, “You are pissed.”

 Roman’s grip tightened on the wheel, “I was gonna propose.” he whispered and Virgil slumped, “I blamed myself for our arguments. Hated that I was compared to Logan…” Virgil winced, “But I get it now.” he growled, “What pisses me off, is they fucked in my bed.”

 There was silence for a few moments, “You kicked him out, didn’t you?” he asked softly.

 “Yup.” Roman answered, “I have the job. I have the money. I paid for it. My house.” Virgil inhaled shakily, “Not to mention, we aren’t married.” he pulled in front of the bar, “What about you, V?” he asked softly.

 He was surprised he’d managed to, considering how angry and upset he was.

 “I can’t go back. I can’t see everything we built. I can’t even look at my ring.” his hand was shaking and Roman saw he was still wearing it, “I’m too scared to check my accounts. I’m too scared to answer when he calls. I don’t-”

 Roman reached his hand out, palm up, an offering, “I have some space at my place.” he offered, “A spare room. Housemate is moving out.” it was a weak attempt at a joke but Virgil still scoffed, “You didn’t quit your job, did you?”

 He shook his head, “No…but I was so scared of Logan showing up that I didn’t…”

 Roman hummed, “I can handle that.” Virgil looked up at him, “I’d rather you be sad and mopey while safe at my place than the streets.” he spoke more seriously, noting the way Virgil’s eyes darted away and a tear slipped down his cheeks, “And I missed your art.”

 “You did?” he whispered, looking hesitantly to Roman.

 “Uh huh. Lots of room for it at my place.” he pulled his key from the ignition, “Think on it.” he offered, “Preferably over six or seven shots.”

 Virgil left his bag in the car as he got out and Roman took that as a good sign, “Make it nine and you got a deal.” a hesitant smirk pulled at his cheek.

 “Then it’s a deal. C’mon.” he slung his arm over Virgil’s shoulders, “Let’s get so hammered that calling Dee and Rem seem like good ideas.”

 A small but genuine laugh escaped Virgil as they stepped inside, “You know what? Why the fuck not.” he leaned a little into Roman’s side, “We’re single now, right?”

 “Right.”

 Virgil paused, looking down to his hand and taking a deep breath, before pulling his ring off, “We’re single now.”

 Roman squeezed Virgil’s still impossibly tiny shoulders, “And responsibility is for boring people.”

 That earned him the first genuine laugh to a joke he’d heard in…well, a very, very long time.

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