#breadly breadshaw

But Jake pulled back with a huff. “I knew you’d be like this. So clingy and needy, just like always. This is why I was just gonna ghost you. But no. Everyone told me it would be too cruel, even for me. So here I am trying to give you the courtesy of telling you to your face and you’re gonna make this a big deal.”

“A big deal?” Rooster’s voice rose and Jake could see he was beginning to get angry. “You come over and tell me you’re leaving and never coming back and you don’t think that’s a big deal? What the fuck, Jake?”

“No. It’s Hangman. We’re nothing more than colleges now so you don’t get to call me Jake anymore,” Jake sneered. “Not that it really matters since I doubt we’ll be seeing each other again for a while… if at all. I got my dream job. The kind you could only ever dream about. So I don’t see us traveling in the same circles anymore.”

Rooster looked as if Jake had just punched him in the face. He stumbled back a few steps until he was leaning against the side of the house. Then, his voice thick with emotion, he asked, “What, you got a new job so you’re suddenly ready to throw this all away? Everything we talked about? Everything we were building together?”

Jake could see that this was it. This was the moment that he either sold it or this whole thing fell apart. Which meant he needed to bring out the big guns.

They both had taken training classes on interrogation tactics and knew how to spot when someone was lying. The small tells and subconscious ticks that the lier usually didn’t even realize they were doing. The one that always stuck with Jake and the one he often pointed out on a nearly weekly basis when talking with people was “if you look down, they know you’re lying.” And right now, he had to do his best to convince Rooster why he was saying was the truth, no matter how painful it was. 

So, he squared his shoulders and looking Rooster dead in the eye, he slowly said, “Get this through that thick, mustachioed skull of yours. You were never anything more to me than something to pass the time. You were fun, but I would’ve settled for anyone to keep me company while I figured out my next move. And the fact you bought into the act just made me look even more pathetic than I thought you were.”

Jake watched Rooster’s heart shatter right before his eyes. He knew how hard it was for Rooster to open himself up to someone after all the loss and betrayal he had endured since he was a kid, but this was still the best option. Rather Rooster lose him now than after Jake’s assignment. At least this way he hopefully wouldn’t care about Jake’s death whereas Jake knew Rooster would have found a way to blame himself if they were still together when he died. Roo would obsess over what he could have said to get Jake to stay or how he should have taken the assignment instead and Jake didn’t want that for the man he loved. 

So, he just stood there stiffly, coldy, as Rooster’s face shifted through a hundred different emotions as he tried to grasp the reality of the situation. Finally, with his face twisted in pain, Rooster hissed, “I hate you.”

But as he said it, his eyes shifted down to the ground. 

For some reason, that was the moment that almost broke Jake’s resolve. He wanted to run to him, to gather Roo into his arms, tell him everything, and beg for his forgiveness. He wanted to drop to his knee and propose with the ring he had been carrying around in his pocket for the last month. He wanted to take Rooster upstairs and show him how much he actually meant to him. 

However, he managed to stay strong. He nodded once and jammed his hands in his pockets. He pulled out his key to the house and placed it on the railing of the porch. “Yeah, well, then I guess we’re done here.”

He turned and started walking down the driveway. It hurt but it was done. And at least now Rooster was safe. Yes, it was true Jake was throwing their relationship away over a job, but Rooster never had to learn the whole truth. He never had to know that the only two active Navy pilots qualified for this assignment were the two of them. He never had to know that Jake would rather die than live without him. However, there was one last thing Rooster had to know before Jake could leave.

When he reached the gate, Jake hesitated. Turning back, he said, “Hey, Roo.” 

Rooster looked up at him, his eyes full of tears and his jaw set tightly as he tried to keep his composure. Already the pain on his face when he looked at Jake had turned to rage. Good. Then his plan was working.

Jake took one last look at the man and the life he was leaving behind as he smiled. “I hate you too.” 

And he looked down.