#brb-me

You can't always believe what you read on the internet or in the corner of TV screens either or on the back of coupons come to think of it, but you can trust that everything you write down is true if that's what you're interested in recording for yourself.

Once someone reads it and has feelings about it based on their own assumptions or previously memorized things and then relates it to someone else, it might stop being immediately true... but look at the first paragraph again, dumbass.

And remember when you first started getting to know and recognize Muppets and tell them apart and remember their names? You wanted to believe they were real but knew they weren't something you could "meet" but you knew it was something tangible? Something you could touch if you were in the same room with it? It's cool to remember that when yr getting to know someone on the internet. Making friends is easy. Seriously what's your fucking problem?

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Sometimes you have to talk about things that happened to you from the perspective of telling a story about what someone did, and it would only make sense to take your own side. Give me a break. Someone else's also-hurt-feelings aren't some magical truth deleting potion!

If someone is angry and you see them as irrational, start reading this sentence over again and remind yourself why you may feel they're being irrational.

Can you keep it in your mind long enough to finish the thought without arriving to your conclusion that they're wrong? Do you expect yourself to only be "irrational" when you're wrong? I really don't even know how you could operate that way and stay friends with yourself. You might as well delete yr blog instead of re-reading it ever, if that's how you feel. Jesus christ.

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It's been hard to tell my friends I love them before, and it's almost always been impossible to ever touch them at all when they're in the same room as me, like those Muppets I mentioned.

But I have never had a problem believing my friends, or telling them that I do not believe them when I don't. Judging my past accomplices by my own methods, I am left feeling like if they can't tell me they believe me, and yet they have made no motion to suggest they DO NOT believe me, it's simply because I am not even in the equation. LMAO.

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When someone tells the truth all you have to do is go "Hahaha cyber bullies" or "LOL internet shaming!" and then !POOF! yr lack of response is magically perceived by ~everyone~ as you not dignifying this lewd display of ::internet fame:: with a response. What a very mature way to handle absolutely everything. "They must live in Grown Up Land," is how everyone you know thinks of you.

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I don't feel bad ever talking about things that happened to me really. I don't care who was there when it happened. Like omg I said it in public, obscured in deeply personal LOLZ, to an audience of SHEER HUNDREDS of future pen-pals and glassy-eyed weed-reblogging teenagers. At least I'm not a liar. buh-DUM-psssss!

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This post brought to you by the letters:

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I did this in like 20 minutes about 5 years ago.