#brastrangled

Your reactions are sweeping me off my feet!

I hope I can heal your heart over the rest of the month, that last chapter was quite a punch.

Crowley is from the TV show Supernatural...

I'm using elements of that world, but not making this a complete crossover if that makes sense.

This isn't the first year with Hanukkah in a Christmas movie, there was one in 2012 called Hitched for the Holidays starring Joey Lawrence.

;alskjdf okay, one, I LOVE that you have memories from Barney VHSes like I do, because Barney was one of the biggest, non-Cats influences on my childhood.  But I’M SORRY I’M GOING TO RANT ABOUT MY CATS FEELINGS RIGHT NOW OKAY

OKAY! So! The thing with me and Cats in general is that......my family moved to New York when I was 4, about an hour-ish from the City, and we lived there until like a month before I turned 7.

Anyways, I was fortunate enough to see plenty of Broadway shows as a kid, including my very first Broadway show, Cats. I loved it, I loved the animal and the musical, and was pretty obsessed with it. I saw it at least once more on stage, we owned the VHS of the taped show, which is how I learned the names of many of the “extras” (and we eventually got the DVD of it, of course). I got the book of the original poems (fun fact, “Memory” is one of two songs in the show that DOESN’T have lyrics by T. S. Eliot). I pretended to be the cats, even! My family all knows it very well from me and and my sisters (at least two of them) loving it from a young age. Two of our cats growing up were named “Grizabella” and “Rum Tum Tugger”, and those weren’t even the cats I named! Like, the musical was a huge part of my life as a kid. The “Now and Forever” ad music can still play in my head at a moment’s notice, and I was devastated when it closed because those ads promised me it would be there NOW AND FOREVER!! And, even years later, when The Phantom of the Opera first overtook it as the longest running musical (it’s now fourth under Phantom, The Lion King, and Chicago), I honestly was so displeased a;lsdkfjas 

So, this musical has always hold this weird place in my heart, where I love it unironically but I’m also like aware that if I had seen it for the first time at a different age, I would’ve detested it. I still think there are some legit bops in it, and I get the urge every now and then to watch the recording - I can’t listen to the OBC or Original London Cast versions, though, because so many of the songs have gotten better and were altered from those version, particularly “Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer”, god, the original versions are SO BAD compared to what it became, the whole reason why I want a brother and sister cat named after them.

So, they announce they’re doing this movie version and I’m already like.....very skeptical. Because why would they do a movie of one of the most made fun of shows of all time? 

Then casting starts. First they just say Taylor’s in it, but won’t say who she is, same with James Corden. I assumed he’d be Bustopher, though, and assumed she’d be Bombalurina or one of the other more “narrating” cats, so, cool. Jennifer Hudson as Grizabella? Awesome. Ian McKellan? Idris Elba - in what’s supposed to be a non-singing or speaking role? Weird choice, but, okay. Professional ballerina for the silent ballerina role? Iconic! Hey, Jason Derulo had recently done something talking about his classical music training and sang something from Phantom and I was sold on him. Dame Judi Dench as a character called “he” who has “married nine wives”? Why not! It sounded like good casting and while I was just hoping they could, you know, basically film the stage production again or maybe do something animated if they really wanted to do this, I figured I’d give it a shot.

Then they said it was going to have CGI. And I knew it would be a hist show.

Then the trailer dropped a day earlier than planned and, clearly, I HAVE LOST MY MIND.

WHY ARE THE NOSES LIKE THAT? WHY DID THEY GO THIS WAY? WHY DID THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE BOOBS? WHY ARE THE CATS SMALLER THAN KNIVES WHEN THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE CAT-SIZED? WHY DID THEY DO JENNIFER HUDSON SO DIRTY IN HER LOOK??? WHY IS JASON DERULO THE ONLY ONE LOOKING PASSABLE???

Look, I knew this would be a mess from the get go. An adaption of this musical would always be a fucking mess. But this is, pun intended, a CAT-astrophe. Make-up would’ve been much better. Filming a semi-live version a la the other version would’ve been better. The camp of people writing around in leotards with heavy make-up and tails is part of what makes Cats, Cats! This is a huge, weird, uncanny valley, horrifying mess.

AND I AM LIVING FOR IT. Since day one, I have said "I can’t believe I’ll be seeing this opening day”, and by GOD am I fucking seeing it on opening day, come hell or high water. Opening weekend at the very least.

It’s going to be a shit show, but it’s my shit show. And I will watch it gladly.