#braintease

I've been thinking a while now and decided to post a weekly "insight" where I will pick up a popular concern, problem, dilema, etc... of our modern society and attempt to grind it bit by bit, hopefully helping the ones who read it, or open up a new point of view for you.

Human relationships

I chose this subject as my first "weekly insight" post because it's a topic spread worldwide and I see a lot of confusion and frustration that are caused by it.

Let's break it down a little bit.

I want to focus this post mainly of human relationships that want to go one step further (and by that I mean, not the kind of "buds, bros, BFF, etc" relationships, I mean the kind of relationship in which you want to win the girl/boy).

After sleeping on this for a long time, I think I might have come to a couple of concusions and some advices depending on the circumstances in which you can find yourselves. Let's start with the conclusions:

1. To better understand a relationship between two people you first need to understand yourself and what does it mean to have a relationship with someone. Most problems are born from this because usually we focus on shallow people, superficial people, narcisistic people, spiteful people, etc. Why? Because some of they are extremly good looking. Which you might think is not a bad thing... but it is... At the bottom of it, we are mamals... simply smarter animals that have retained their basic instincts over the millenia. Thus we are genetically programmed to feel attracted to some characteristics of the human aspect (big round breats, nice round ass, wide shoulders, muscular arms, strong jawline, and the list goes on). BUT we must take in consideration the fact that we have evolved way past that point, and we can no longer consider ourselves "primal" creatures. The modern human is a socially focused and socially addicted individual. Have you ever been in a bad mood, even if you slept well, ate well and had decent sex with your partner? That's why... and this is where I wanted to get from the beginning. The pinacle, the peak, the top, however you want to call it, of human primal attraction, is sex. That's where it ends, that's where your body is satisfied with getting what it wanted... but that's just the body my friends... we also have a mind... a mind which will be affected by the euforic sensation at first, but in time... we will feel the need for more.

          When you next see or meet a person you facy ( strictly physical ) ask yourselves the following question first: Do I want to have sex with her/him and that's that... or do I want to go beyond that step and see if we can bond.

From that question, of course, two answers will follow: "I only want to have sex!" and "I want to see if he/she can become my girlfriend/boyfriend!".

In a nutshell... you first have to see if you really want a relationship with someone and not get that confused with the primal lust, induced by the raging hormones in your body. From that confusion you will end up tormenting yourselves, and in some cases... the desired person.

2. How to tackle the situation, regarding the person you like.

Here we have tons of opinions and even more points of view. I have tried to come with a general sollution and I think that I elaborated a pretty fair and square one (bare with me).

To analize this topic, we must first rush through the types of people. Some like to go all out and are confident, some are romantic and like to have a more classy approach, some are plain simple and to the point, some simply don't care and last but not least, some, are plain... dicks... (that does not only apply to men, ladies).

So what would be the "perfect" type of approach and atitude that would please any of these types you would ask... be like all of them, be like none of them? NO! FIRST MAJOR RULE! Never copy anybody! The more you try, the worst it's going to get, because that is not you and from the outside it would look like an elephant trying to dress himself with the fur of a mouse. Be youselves (you heard that 1000000 times over right ? riiiiight... but I bet no one broke that down for you). Let's say you are an all out guy and you like a nice girl that is a little cold... as an all out guy you are not restrained by "pride" or "manly atitude" (which I personally think it's major bulls*it) and you are willing to do tons of things for her... but she will never do the same thing for you. What do you do !

Simple... DON'T DO! 

I know it may sound wierd, but I am not talking about extremes... allow me to explain myself. What you must do, in order to get to her and find that source of heat that will melt the outer lair of ice away, is the following (grab a pen):

- Don't exagerate - it's one thing to do a nice gesture or give her a cute gift... it's another to bombard her with all kind of things, to show her "how much you are into her and you two are meant for eachother!" Take it slow... show her that you fancy her, through words, small gifts, common hobbies, etc but sometimes... stop... just say no... you don't owe her ANYTHING... and you'll be surprised to find out that she is well aware of that. 

In a nutshell - Never make any compromises, sacrifices or big efforts UNTIL that person is trully yours and you are hers/his

- F*ck pride - it's as simple as that... if you like someone for real, and don't just want to have sex with her/him, you will bite your lip and do some things anyway, because you know they're worth it (this does not cotradict the upper rule though, stepping on your pride is NOT a major compromise... it's only in your head)

- No more mister goodie two-shoes! - It's ok to be the good or the nice guy/girl... but don't let people take advantage of that. Before you jump and yell at me: "not all the people are the same" I will say... you are correct... but it's in our blood and our human nature to stop fighting for something after we've won it... think about it... if your girlfriend/boyfriend does ANYTHING you ask and want... wouldn't that get boring... I bet it will... because we are confronting with another social problem of the modern human... Stimulation! We need someone who drags us, lifts us, pushes us to the limits... good or bad... either way... we like, we want and we need to be stimulated in orded to evolve as individuals... when we have nothing left to learn from some one, the result is as simple as it is sad... we leave them... 

- Don't forget about you - It's nice to have feelings so strong for someone that your very joy of the day is the smile they display (rhyme not intended...) and you are willing to do a lot to see that smile... This often results into being absorbed into her/his lifestyle with the works... passions, hobbies, music, etc. So you get absorbed... then what? Well... you start doing the same things as and with your partner because that what he/she likes... and you are happy that she/he is happy. At some point, they will want a peice of your world... they will want to see through your eyes... but all they see... is themselves... you have no world of your own... you have no personal "treasures" that they can dig after... sadly, this also leads to breakup in most of the cases. So take the time, man up... and refuse her/him once in a while, to do what YOU want, and what defines you as a person.

      Well, that would be the end of this post, I really hope you liked it and found it helpful, and if not... at least worthy of mentioning to others. 

More will follow next week, when I will return with Part 2 of "Relationships" in the Weekly Insight post.

Meanwhile, enjoy some good music and some beautiful art with your coffee.

Until next week,