#braining

Is everyone around now looking for the general nuisance that was the Box Ghost? Yes. Because just like learning to not stare at the Sun like they’re trying to go blind -Zone what a dumbass- they’ve also learned that boxes equals Box Ghost; especially if boxes are being thrown. And unlike every other ghost that cropped up around here, this one just makes people roll their eyes.

Even Danny just kind of looks down at the box nonchalantly while holding his eye. The kid does mutter, “ow”, though, even if it sounds extremely monotoned. With the Box Ghost ‘officially’ making his appearance to gloat about that fact.

“HA! The mighty fearsome Box Ghost has done the ocular trauma! Fear me and my eye-related terror!”, and the sad sad pathetic ghost cackles.

Absolutely no one runs away in fear though. They either roll their eyes, keep on walking ignoring the whole scene, sit down to watch whatever mild chaos might just happen, or glare in annoyance. The Fenton kid is in the ‘glare in annoyance’ category, even sticking his arms out to the side in offence and saying, “dude, you really suck at this”. He is not wrong.

Then a big ass flat box wizzes by straight into the teens fucking neck. His head flying up into the morning Sun streaming blood like an oil painting. Queue screaming and the knowledge that:

The Box Ghost killed a bitch.

Multiple people throw up, some run and hide, one or two make steps to go towards Danny in an aborted attempt to help, and precisely two people pass out. Meanwhile, Danny’s head rolls off down a sewer drain. Gross.

The Box Ghost winces, “oh ew. Sorry ‘bout that actually”, and cringes up his entire face.

Danny’s disembodied voice, that fuck all no one is listening to because they are freaking out way too fucking much, coming out through said sewer drain, “dude whatever, do you really think I didn’t just telekinetically stop my own freaking face from face-planting into all sorts of nastiness?”, continuing while the Box Ghost floats closer to the sewer drain, “I get covered in lots of gross-ass shit but I do have standards about that”.

Apparently ectoplasm and other assorted viscera was one thing, and sewer yuck was an entirely other thing.

Once the Box Ghost gets close enough, he promptly gets his ass scared by Danny’s face just popping up directly in front of the sewer drain hole. Danny smirking, “ha deserved it. But seriously, why didn’t you just, like, make cubed square-headed cardboard arrows and shoot me through the heart or something?”. The Box Ghost now has literal sparkles in his eyes, making the teen sigh. The Box-related ghost does grab the side of Danny’s face and mildly attempt at subtly ‘returning it’ close to Danny’s body though.

The Box Ghost also can’t help but snicker in an alley when Danny just casually pretends he found his head in one of the boxes and puts it back on, walking down the street casually and whistling. Those around giving major ‘what the actual fuck’ looks to the teen all the while, while also questioning if what just happened did, in fact, actually happen.

The Box Ghost killed a bitch?

Well into the town gossip mill it goes regardless!

…

Not even half an hour later the little old lady who helps run the local church is slamming on her brakes as a Danny stumbles in front of her car with a fucking cardboard arrow sticking out of his chest and the Box Ghost flying after him while sticking out his tongue mockingly.

She absolutely runs him over. Breaking while going eighty doesn’t really work that well, all things being equal.

As soon as she has the chance to get out of her vehicle after it comes to a stop and multiple people come running over in a panic, she’s helping everyone try and pull the mangled body out from under the car. No one having a fucking clue what to do outside of calling the ambulance.

One thing was for sure though. The Box Ghost Killed a bitch.

Then the Fenton kid pops up like a fucking zombie, finger gunning at her, and saying that, “hey I'd take that to get looked at, your wheel alignment is all kinds of jacked up”, and just sort of wanders away, blood soaking his chest and actually hacking it up, everyone too stunned to do literally anything.

The Box Ghost killed a bitch?

…

Jesse, who’s stuck manning a little local coffee place, quirks an eyebrow as one Danny Fenton saunters in. “Danny, kid, how the Hell aren’t you dead?”.

The teen has the balls to smirk back at him, “well you see, when someone dies they become what is commonly known as ‘dead’”, sticking up a finger, “but since I’m not dead I very clearly did not die”.

“But how did you not die?”.

“Because I’m a potato”.

“What”.

“You can mash me, you can smash me, you can slice me; and yet I’m still delicious enough to keep around for round two”, and takes his big ass cup of thirty shots of espresso to go with a wink like an absolute ass.

Jesse then watches, in growing horror, when the Box Ghost pops up stealing the weird-ass teens drink before a box pelts him in the back of the head, smashing his face into the bar of a stop sign; blood and brains splattering across the sidewalk.

Jesse shouting, “oh HOLY FUCK!”, and running out to people screaming around.

There’s only one thought on everyone’s mind as there’s an outright downpour of boxes: The Box Ghost killed a bitch.

Surprisingly the box avalanche hurts literally no one else beyond cardboard paper cuts; which, while worse than regular paper cuts, weren’t as worrying as the kid the Box Ghost just brained. But Danny gets up, shakes his face off like a wet dog and absolutely covering boxes in gore, and takes his drink from the Box Ghost when said ghost floats over slowly to hand it to him.

The teen muttering, “didn’t spill a drop. Wise man”. The Box Ghost looks overly smug and multiple people pass out.

The Box Ghost killed a bitch?

…

Needless to say there were a lot of weird stories going around that could only agree on one thing: the Box Ghost maybe kinda sorta killed the Fenton kid with boxes. It might have been flattened cardboard decapitation. It might have been a box-powered projectile heart stab run-over combo. It might have been a stop sign embedding box-alanche. It might have been a lot of things. But either way…

The Box Ghost was apparently fucking deadly. And, like, maybe people should maybe watch their shit a little more yeah?

One Danny Fenton snickers to himself from an alley after overhearing a dude with a newspaper tell a guy at a bus stop exactly that. Danny looking back to the Box Ghost and holding up a fist for a fist bump, “Hell yeah, told you”, getting his desired fist bump, “now they at least got some fear for you. Ancients! You might have more rep than Skulker’s ass. That fucker ain’t never killed any bitches here”.

The Box Ghost has twinkles in his eyes and looks like he might just think Danny was a minor deity or something. The Box Ghost does a little cheer, “that means I AM FEARED! MWAHAHAHAHA! YES! FEAR MY MIGHTY BOXES OF DOOM!”, then pausing and excitedly pointing at Danny, “and fear you too! I! HAVE MADE YOU MORE FEARSOME TOO!”.

“Yeah dying publicly tends to do that”. Danny snorts, pointing at his boxy comrade, “it is very ‘what the actual fuck Fenton’ worthy if I do say so myself”, putting down his hand, “anyway, you good now? Satisfied?”.

The Box Ghost proudly crosses his arms, head in the air, “I am more fearsome than Skulker! It is acceptable”. Making Danny roll his eyes at the other ghost, “yeah the general consensus is ‘what the actual fuck Box Ghost’ as well, so you better be”.

All in all, it seems their plan worked out splendidly. What plan you ask? Well…

— Three Hours Prior To All Of Today's Box-Related Shenanigans —

Danny, as Phantom, sighs tiredly into his hand, watching the Box Ghost out here harassing a murder of crows into ‘fearing him’. Yeah not happening anytime sone buddy. The guy had been up to this shit for the better part of a freaking week. Not that anyone was really paying attention, noticing, or minding that other than him due to just how lame Boxy was.

Either way, Danny was annoyed. Officially annoyed. So he’s gonna try a different tactic. He’s gonna park the Box Ghosts obnoxious ass down and have a… conversation. Which fine, he didn’t much do. He was a combative motherfucker alright? Get off his ass.

“Hey yo Boxy! What the fuck man, leave the poor birdies alone. You do know those things remember shit right? And will, like, solidly wreck your shit forever more now, right?”.

The Box Ghost pauses trying to dump a box of boxes on said birds, “I… had not considered that. But! THE BOX GHOST IS TOO FEARSOME TO FEAR SOME BIRDS!”. Said birds start pelting him, very painfully, with coins. The Box Ghost flees. It is extremely pathetic.

Danny following after and staring at the grumpy-looking ghost, “dude”.

The Box Ghost apparently loses it at that, throwing up his hands in a way that for once doesn’t resemble his scary fingers thing, and rounds on Danny, “you wouldn’t get it, ghost child! You are properly feared! Greatly!”, dropping his arms and sagging, looking entirely despondent, “I… am not”.

Danny has no fucking clue when the guy gained any self-awareness but apparently he now has to deal with a ghosts self-worth issues. But also… “since fucking when, Boxy? No one fears me?!?”.

The Box Ghost looks at him like he’s absolutely crazy, apparently the box-related ghost wasn’t the only one with self-awareness issues. “‘No one fears you’ you are The Phantom! EVERY GHOST AND THEIR PET EITHER FEARS OR RESPECTS YOU!”.

“Oh pffft. Bullshit”.

The Box Ghost blinks at him, “you have LITERALLY never lost a fight and you’ve bested some of the most powerful of us to ever exist! IT WOULDN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE FOR US TO NOT HAVE FEAR OF OUR PRINCE!”. Even though the ghost is shouting he doesn’t sound even mildly angry. More confused and slightly awed, while also being frustrated but not with Danny. “WHY DO YOU THINK SO MAY ARE PLAYING NICE WITH YOU NOW?!?”. He legit wants to know the halfas response to that.

Danny sticks up a finger, “okay point, but, and this is a big but, everyone still shit kicks me even if they also help me”, grumbling to himself, “and that help’s pretty fucking reluctant. If there was actual fear there they’d be eager, not reluctant”, then addressing the Box Ghost again, “we’ve made friendly, not I’ve made them fearful”.

“SKULKER IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!”.

“He makes me pies sometimes for the fuck of it!”.

The Box Ghost blinks, “huh”.

“Yeah that’s what I thought”, rolling his wrist, “and plus, the general consensus of the entire student body and most of Amity’s adults is that I’m kinda a pathetic weakling. Fenton me anyway”.

The Box Ghost goes wide-eyed, remembering many many incidences of humans being just petty mean dicks to the halfa. “That… MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “yeah, so not feared”, sighing, “now why are you bitching about your lack of being fear-inducing”, gesturing at him, “it’s not exactly new news, you know”.

The Box Ghost completely deflates, slouching actively more than normal, “LunchLady is with child”.

Danny rolls his wrist, entirely unfazed since he knew this was gonna happen sooner rather than later, “and? Shouldn’t that be a happy thing?”.

“But no one really FEARS me”.

Danny feels like he’s talking to a stuffed animal or something here, “and? Dude, so what?”.

“‘So what’! So what! How will I keep her safe if no one fears me!”, drawing in on himself some, “they won’t fear my vengeance of boxed doom if they hurt her”.

Danny sighs, so that’s what this is. Makes total fucking sense. Because yeah, if all that was standing between some asshole ghost and Elle or even, like, an unconscious Cujo was the Boxy Ghost’s one hundred percent not scary-ass, Danny wouldn’t have any faith either. Sighing again, “so what? You’re just gonna keep harassing my ass ‘till ghosts, what? Respect and or fear you?”.

The Boxy Ghost’s nod and shrug is a little more pathetic than usual.

Danny glares at the sky, for fucks sake, “bro, buddy, my boxy pal. Out of everyone you harass me the most, you harassing me even more ain’t gonna do shit”, pointing at him, and giving probably a horribly stupid idea, “dude, how about I just let you, the ever fearsome Box Ghost, outright kill Fenton me. Because bro, I won’t actually die and killing someone is one hell of a way to get fear”.

And the box-related asshole stares at him like he’s lost his fucking marbles. Fucking fair but still, what a dick. “You… will let me kill you”.

“I won’t actually die”, rolling his wrist, “just don’t mention that to anyone”. If the general population of the Zone actually were aware of his whole optional immortality thing that would kinda be a problem and would make whatever this currently was a bit redundant.

The Box Ghost stares for a bit before grinning and rubbing his hands together evilly. And thus a plan of sorts was set into motion. A really stupid, unnecessarily reckless, and overly dramatic plan, that didn’t actually involve all that much actual planning so much as an agreement for the Box Ghost to just go buck fucking wild and surprise one Danny Fenton with sudden murder attempts that said teen won’t just easily avoid.

However the Box Ghost was entirely unaware that Danny was actively using this as a means to terrorise basically the entire ghost species, rather than just using this as means to give Boxy some ghostly street cred in the name of protecting a child.

— Return To Present —

What no one in Amity knew -minus Danny, who had a guess that shit was going down- was the absolute chaos also going down in the zone every time some ghost brought back a report of Phantom’s untimely full demise. From how the fuck are we gonna deal with this over-powered kid fully dead, to thinking up all the necessary preparations. It was like they were all getting jerked around and given mini core attacks every time someone was like “THE BOX GHOST KILLED PHANTOM!” And then someone else followed up with “NEVER MIND HE’S STILL HALF KICKING!”, ten minutes to half an hour later.

Everyone was pretty solidly pissed with the Box Ghost… but also kinda rather scared a bit shitless. Because the boxy motherfucker was repeatedly doing shit that would one hundred percent kill a human, even if it wasn’t offing Phantom for whatever reason.

Ember’s the one to confront him first. Her sticking her arms out to the side when the box-obsessed ghost crops back up in the zone. “Box dumbass, what the actual fuck?”.

The Box Ghost looks very smug, “what, bothered that I am more FEARSOME than you? Unlike you I have a kill count”, muttering to himself, “technically. Sorta. Kinda. I’m taking it”.

Ember screws up her face, “you couldn’t go and try to murder literally anyone else?!? Why him?!? What is wrong with you?!?”.

“You’re just mad I’m better than your boyfriend”.

She looks very disgusted with him, “no, just, ew”, and pinches the bridge of her nose, “I can’t believe I’m saying this”, then looks up at one of the most pathetic ghosts ever and says, “congrats, you idiot, on causing chaos and panic almost to rival that other idiot Pariah. No one wants Danny dead, you fucking moron. Why do you think we’re all not trying to actually fully kill or end him anymore?!?”.

The Box Ghost physically pauses, “wait so you are actually friendly and it isn’t that you just fear his current position”. The ghost boy was right! He wasn’t actually feared! Weird.

Ember blinks at him and facepalms, “sure some of us are actually friends with him but-”, then basically shouting, “-NO! Unless if he fully dies then YES!”.

“Oh”.

“Yeah ‘oh’ you pain in the ass!”.

The Box Ghost points, “so his potential is fearsome”, ha! Take that Phantom.

Ember immediately shoots him in the face, shouting, “FUCK YOU!”, while flying off.

Regardless, Danny’s whole ‘make the Box Ghost feared through somewhat but not really staged murderers’ worked in a whole different and unexpected, to the Box Ghost, way. Namely that all the ghosts were now vaguely fearful of the Box Ghost, specifically fearful that said Box Ghost would go off playing a ‘off Danny Phantom’ game again and actually kill him.

Danny wasn’t about to complain about other ghosts going and fighting the Box Ghost for him every goddamn night though. He still did it for the misplaced aggression of it though; here and there, every now and then.

And the Box Ghost? Well he was just very very pleased with himself and fairly sure that no one was gonna mess with his soon-to-be little lady. His boxed sweets of a ghost, the LunchLady, would be so proud. (And oddly, she was. Mostly because she actually understood the why and because Danny had actually told her about the fact that he would only die if he actually wanted to. The boy could quite literally just stand up, decide to have a heart attack, and keel over; becoming king proper. She stayed contentedly silent about these facts purely because he was much healthier and a much better eater nowadays).

Phantom give a ‘one free murder’ pass as a baby shower present actively did not help the Zone general worries and fears, but absolutely did help protect the new box and food related baby ghost. Phantom not so subtly dropping that he actually meet the child once dude to timeline tomfuckery and she basically tried to kill him, also added to everything.

End.