#brain book

Wired for Love by Stephanie Cacioppo

The first third of this book kinda sucks, and I think Stephanie would benefit both from investigating an autism diagnosis and from learning about aromanticism.

Once she stops being so adamant that this is romantic love only!!!! And accepts that most of the cited studies are about either (a) something more specific than just romance OR (b) passion broadly, including passion-for-job etc, her conclusions become much more interesting.

Increasingly I think that what we so readily call "romance" is actually an intersection of maybe 4+ states; QPPs occupy most-but-not-all-of these; friends-with-benefits ditto; aromantic allosexuals etc etc. I don't think there's a "romance" feeling or toggle in the brain, I think it's one overlap in a very complicated Venn diagram.

Cacioppo probably disagrees if you pin her down long enough--part of what infuriated me about the opening of this book is that she first says repeatedly that defining love is really difficult, and then doesn't even make an attempt at a functional definition. Particularly irritating because she ALSO complains about colleagues not respecting the importance of her work--no shit! if you can't meet the minimum standard of "being able to objectively define what it is you're researching"!!!!

For a book about An Emotion (or whatever) it sure spends no time on emotions theory. Parts of the brain come up periodically. Her citation system is ass. I think she needs to take an undergraduate course on scientific writing.

HOWEVER. When she actually settles down and reports clearly what a study looked at and its controls (not just "people in love were more X" COMPARED TO WHOM???) there's some really interesting stuff in there, and she finishes with a really moving chapter on grief and mourning.

My first proper DIspatch fan art, and thanks to folks in the bird app, it's for the most random ship possible: Sonar x BrainBook.

Z-team's resident recovering addict and finance whizz with the Downtown team's star intellectual.

It Didn't Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn

So my therapist assigned this as homework; I put it on hold but only received it right as we went on a 3 week hiatus. I may update this review after our next session.

As it is, though, I am deeply unimpressed. Early in the book I sent to my wife, "the problem with pop psych books is that the line between “complete hooey MLM cult nonsense” and “legitimate peer reviewed approach” is astonishingly thin".

This book is option 1--mostly. The idea is that trauma can be inherited, that the things our ancestors lived through can be passed down to us. So far, so normal. But the mechanics of that, as currently known, are fairly blunt (if genetic) or limited to 1-2 generations (if behavioral*).

The research Wolynn sites backs this up, but most of the book is not about research. Most of the book is about how, uh, trauma can be passed along almost any family line; if your parents weren't traumatized but you have a mental health issue, clearly the problem is your uncles/grandparents/cousins/more distant ancestors! The mechanism by which an uncle can transfer trauma to a nibling is not explored.

The problem, of course, is that the narratives we tell ourselves about trauma are incredibly powerful. He's right that a huge factor in PTSD developing is the memories not being properly integrated, and god knows family trauma is a thing, but like...Everything after that point is just bull.

*Puts an asterisk and then forgets about it. I don't think there's enough rabid arguing discussion about how many of the effects of transgenerational trauma can be straight psychology/behavioral changes (ie, living through a famine will make you weird about food, and you will instill weirdness about food in your children). This does not require any fancy biology or morphic resonance, it's just...Learning theory.

Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder by Edward M. Hallowell M.D. & John J. Ratey M.D.

My single biggest problem with this book is that it was last revised in 2011.

I try not to review books based on what I think they should be but as what they are; unfortunately the last 13 years have been so big for ADHD/neurodiversity research & social shifts that the book is very nearly out of date.

Like any good ADHD book it's slightly repetitive (under the impression that much of the target audience won't read it straight through) and occasionally stops entirely to give nicely formatted tables or lists. Sometimes the authors succumb to their own desires for Completely Comprehensive Lists and so then we get absurdities like a 100 point list for adult ADHD.

Reading this solidified my belief that I'm not ADHD, all my ADHD traits are more adequately explained by autism & PTSD, but it did have some good tips and tricks for living with ADHD that are useful for autistic ppl as well.

Big minus 1 for talking about a very, very specific subset of comorbidities (anxiety, depression, OCD) and not autism. Autism comes up twice both times in passing. Also for not questioning whether there are 3x as many men with ADHD as women because women are conditioned into suppressing the symptoms and so don't get referred to a psych in the first place.

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman

Very well argued book about slowing the fuck down and appreciating where you're at. We have no control over the future, and no control over the past. We are always existing in the present so we may as well enjoy the experience.

Has some pages of extremely helpful tips at the end I will be scanning so I can hold onto, and enough citations that I didn't feel compelled to fact check every little thing.

Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker

Interesting arguments, if true. And that's a big fucking "if" because a) there are factual errors ("every species studied to date sleeps", where 'every species' apparently is animal kingdom only??? and completely misreading the PTSD diagnostic criterion, among others) and more importantly b) there is no works cited.

There is no works cited. Or references. Or recommended reading. There are occasionally footnotes but his bigger claims do not, on the whole, get citations.

Oops.

He's very, very fond of sweeping claims, and like, yes, sleep hygiene is important, yes sleep is important, it turns out not sleeping will kill you in a dozen horrifying ways, but that still doesn't explain why sleep evolved in the first place. Or why you felt it acceptable to do without any sort of citation for the majority of your book.

My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem

My previous therapist recommended I read this for help conceptualizing the trauma of being Jewish. It's not about Jewish trauma, it's about African-American trauma, but there's an appalling amount of overlap. It also helped unpack a lot of white guilt. Possibly the most important book I've read this year.

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski

I heard about this through dog trainers, who all raved about it and I can see why. The only regrettable bit is that all of the dog trainers were women, and so I didn't realize until I went and picked up my copy that this book is targeted specfically at women. Which is fine, but I'm not a woman and it was a little jarring.

At any rate. This is one of the most accessible mental health books I've read, remarkably clear, well organized, and contains an entire chapter on smashing the patriarchy. Of course I adored it. It's not a dog-training book, it just became popular among dog trainers because we're largely self employed and largely on the road to burnout, shocker. Very, very good, highly recommended, just do be aware that it's aimed at women.