#bptw

“Don’t Y/N L/N me when you’re clearly at fault you evil squirrel.” You send her a glare as you rub your arm, trying to soothe the pain, “Has anybody ever told you that you hit harder that Nayeon?” Another slap, much harder than the previous one, and you’re once again proved wrong. Only Nayeon can take the first place.

“Yah guys! Why are you both ganging up on me? Why am I even friends with you guys? I hate you both!”

“NO YOU DON’T!” The both of them shout at the same time causing you to go deaf in the process.

You stick your tongue at them, and stand up wanting to get away from the violence, maybe also because you actually can’t argue about it being a lie, even if they are bullies.

However, when you turn around, you stop dead in your tracks. There she was, your not so big ol’ crush, watching the whole interaction take place with her best friend Rosé, with a smug smile and wait, was that a wink? Did she just wink at you?

Sensing your sudden silence, both Nayeon and Sana turn around only to look back at you with wide smirks etched on their faces, as if saying - “Now this is gonna be fun.”

And suddenly, all you want is the ground to swallow you as whole, or maybe you could make a run for it and never come back? Why did she have to see that? Your overthinking causes you such embarrassment that you settle down on your seat with no intention of looking back nor at your friends, hoping the teacher would come soon and save you from further embarrassment.

But that isn’t how life works, someone has to ruin it for you, and who else better than Nayeon. “Hey Jisoo, Chaeyoung! What’s up? Why don’t you guys join us here?”

Your eyes go wide as Nayeon waves them over, “Stop, this is not funny.” You try to drag her arm down, but it’s too late because Sana’s giggles give you that they’re now walking over.

So when both Jisoo and Rosé approach your desk, you make yourself busy with your phone, showing no effort to join in. And you're glad that they don't mention about the previous happenings. Sana and Rosé quickly get into something about wanting to visit the ceramic place, while Jisoo and Nayeon talk about their classes in general.

You scroll through your socials for a while, but not wanting to be presented as rude infront of her anymore, you put your phone back before looking up, only to regret the decision. Because the sight that greets you, makes your knees go weak, her brown orbs make you want to fall deeper.

“Hey Y/N, I know that we’ve never really talked but I’ve heard a lot about you from Nayeon. And I was hoping to get to know you better myself, in a lot of other ways too.” Although she whispers the last part, you hear it all too fine which causes deep blush to coat your cheeks. And you bite your lips inorder to stop the smile from breaking into your face.

However, Nayeon doesn't plan on letting things happen on their own, “Oh how can I forget, we need your help, Y/N here forgot her literature book and I happened to have lent it to Jihyo from the other section, and she needs it for a project by college end."

You knew Nayeon could feel your rock hard glare burning deep holes into her soul. But she doesn’t act upon it, and instead makes a sorrowful face, causing Jisoo to laugh.

“That’s not a problem, I can lend it to Y/N, if she doesn’t mind, that is.”

“Huh? No-NO! It’s fine, I’ll manage–” Your ramble is cut off as Jisoo raises her eyebrow at you, “Nonsense, I don’t think I would mind if it’s you. Nayeon, maybe? You? Never.”

And now it’s your turn to laugh at Nayeon’s offended look, making Jisoo smile.

“Now that’s a pretty smile.”

“Oh-Uhm thank you, and if you don’t mind, can you please lend it to me at lunch, this way I’ll be able to complete it and return it to you sooner.” You fiddle with your fingers nervously as you look at Jisoo with hopefulness to which she nods with a much bigger smile.

Nayeon looks at you with surpise, and silently pats your back for how you indirectly asked your crush out for lunch, even if it’s the college canteen's food.

“Jisoo Unnie, Jennie unnie and Lisa are here, let’s go.” Rosé calls over, and Jisoo winks at you before waving Nayeon off, taking her leave.

“So, is it still just a crush? ” Sana asks as she watches you stare at her retreating figure, and nayeon smiles, already knowing the answer.

You run your hands up your hair, as a smile makes it’s way into your face, “Nah, I’m doomed for real now.”

When you match her gaze, it makes your whole body tremble for a reason unknown. You force out a small smile, fighting back the nervousness, trying to keep calm in order to clear this awkward tension and take your handkerchief out of your pocket.

Her eyes flicker from your face, then to your handkerchief. You take this as a signal and hand her the handkerchief, while brushing your neck with the other hand, and send her another yet shy smile. She thanks you, albeit in a hushed voice and you take it as a good sign.

As she wipes her tears away with your handkerchief, you nod at yourself and start making your way back, but her voice calls you out, making you halt your steps. "Hey, you're Y/N, who sits here everyday, right?"

Let's just keep it real, you were stunned to know that Rosé, from your school knew you. You nod at her, confirming her question. She smiles at you, "You don't have to leave just because I'm here, this is your usual hangout, so please take a seat."

At first you shake your head, "It's alright, I-I I'll just have lunch in the canteen today--" Rosé looks at you with a frown clearly not accepting a no, and you let out a sigh before taking a seat, beside her. There lays a comfortable silence between the both of you apart from a few sniffles here and there.

Although you knew it wasn't your place to ask, you couldn't stop your curiosity and blurt out, "Is everything okay?" Out of the corner of your eyes, you see her contemplating your question.

"I'm sorry, I was just worried, that's all. You don't have to tell me, it's fine." You suggest already regretting having asked the question. As you pull your knees towards your chest, and gaze at the boys playing, Rosé notices something on your right hand.

A tattoo, the pride flag , on your middle finger.

You had gotten it when you came into acceptance with your Sexuality. The tattoo made you feel safe and better. Sometimes you would just stare at it and smile, and forget all your worries for a while.

"I like girls."

Rosé voices out after several minutes, if it wasn't for how close you both were, you wouldn't have been able to hear what she said.

Wanting to give her your whole attention, you turn around, now facing her. She looks at you awaiting your reaction, you send her a smile, prompting her to continue.

"I just realized that I like girls few minutes back, don't get me wrong, but, it honestly scares me that people won't be accepting of much. "

You hum, thinking of a better way to explain. "I wouldn't say, it'll all be rainbows, you’ll go through tough times, but there will also be great times up ahead. Some people might not accept you for who you are, but what about the others? Your family and friends? They won't look at you any other way. You're still the same Rosé for them."

You glance at her, and she still seems to be conflicted, so you continue. "Coming in terms with your Sexuality might not be an easy process, but I'm sure once you're ready enough, you'll feel better. If you're comfortable with it, then nobody can stop you from being so."

"There's nothing wrong with liking girls, I like girls too, and I'm sure there are a few other queer people in our school, and they don't get any sort of hate for it. So hey, you'll be alright, worrying is normal, but don't overthink much, okay?"

When you look at her, she seems to have relaxed a bit. You contemplate on whether to give her hand a squeeze, this is a hard time, and people feel safe even with the tiniest bit of physical contact, and so you do, you squeeze her hands and she looks at you.

"Everything will be fine, you have yourself, your family, and your friends. "

She nods at you, and sends you a smile, and you mirror her smile back.

Taking your hand away, you get up dusting your pants, "I'll get going, you need to have some time for yourself right now, think about-" Rosé cuts you off with a kiss, as she pulls you by your wrist making you fall on her lap. This surprises you, but you let your heart do it's thing, and kiss her back, even if the rational part of your brain asks you not to.

The kiss makes you feel alive, in the moment, you felt what it must feel to be in paradise. Her lips felt soft on yours, as she slowly kissed you, taking her time with you, as if memorizing how it feels to have you, causing your heart to skip a beat.

Right when you smile into the kiss, she breaks the breathtaking contact taking away your soul along with herself.

Her fingers ghost around her lips, bringing her back to reality, and she realizes what just happened. She looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights. And that's when you know, your feelings weren't reciprocated, instead she just needed it because she was emotional.

"Y/N I'm so sorry! I don't know what got into me, I wasn't thinking, I'm so sorry, please forgive me!" You shake your head, and send her a small smile, you know that she could feel it isn't genuine, but let's be honest, rejection from your crush stabs you right in the heart. And thinking about your feelings for her when she's going through a hard time, wasn't very noble of you.

So you do what you think is the right thing. You put herself above your feelings, "It's okay, I understand. I get it that you were feeling very emotional, and you needed someone."

She wants to tell you that you've got it all wrong, all she wants is to kiss you, but she knows it's not the best thing for the both of you right now, hence leaves you there sitting alone, before mumbling another quick apology.

You watch her retreating figure, and run your hands through your hair in frustration, as you recall the past moments.

Of course, what were you even thinking, just because she shared her troubles with you, and smiled at you while inviting you to sit with her, doesn't actually mean she likes you back.

~

A part of you was hoping for her to come join you, but the other couldn't make sense as to why she would join you. So when Rosé approached you the next day at your usual hangout, and tapped your shoulders, flashing you a shy smile, it was still quite a surprise.

"Hi."

"Hey." You send her a smile back, and you swear you saw her smile widen, but decided not to comment on it, as you quite clearly enjoyed having her all smiles for you.

"I thought about everything you said yesterday, and it helped me come in terms with my sexuality, even had a talk with my family and friends and it all went well. Thank you for yesterday, you really helped me out with it.

"Oh my, Congratulations Rosé! Welcome to the LGBTQ+ community. I'm really happy for you." You hug her out of happiness and excitement, causing her to giggle loudly. She lets herself into your embrace, and it makes her heart smile.

When you get to pull away, she doesn't let you go, instead keeps holding on to you. So you let her, the both of you stay like that, taking in each other's comforting warmth.

"I'm really proud of you Rosé."

~

Rosé soon follows you to your usual spot everyday, and a very beautiful friendship blossoms into your life. Although at first, she was very awkward and nervous while asking you to be friends, you found it quite adorable, and maybe, maybe you understood where this nervousness was coming from.

She had kissed you that day, but you were willing to let it go, because now you had her in your life, and you knew her friendship would soon come to mean the world to you.

However, the real reason, why she was nervous was because she didn't want to scare you away, you had already impacted her life, that loosing you might cause it to shatter. She also didn't want you thinking she was weird, when all she could think of was you liking her back, just the way she did.

You had even been introduced to her family and friends, they were all welcoming of you and made you feel like you've had always been a part. You had bonded with her best friends very well that sometimes Rosé would have to drag you out of her friend's grip because you were her best friend first and not theirs.

You guys still hungout at your place, it was now dubbed as Y/N and Rosie's place. She was reluctant at first to call it her place too, but you didn't let her think otherwise, and she soon got into the habit of calling it the both of yours. Something about owning the place with you, always filled her heart.

~

Wanting to ask her to hang out at the both of yours place, you searched for her, as you made your way to the locker. But to your avail, she wasn't there waiting for you like she did always. Instead, you found Jisoo and Jennie, the both of them waved you over as soon as they spotted you.

You smile at them before putting in the books into your locker that you won't be needing for the day, while tuning into whatever conversation the older girls were having, until Lisa comes up to you, panting heavily.

"Jesus, who died?" Jennie asks jokingly, which earns her a slap from Jisoo. You chuckle at the duo, and lock your locker as you take out your psych book, before turning your attention to Lisa.

"It's Chaeyoung. There-there's someone officially asking her out, the whole school's there already." The three of you laugh, causing Lisa to frown, "Lisa she's not into guys, you know what's gonna happen." Jisoo says, both you and Jennie follow suit and nod.

"it's not a guy, it's PARK HANEUL from the University by our favorite café." The book you were now holding, falls down as your grip loosens. Your smile falters, and Jennie looks at you worriedly. "Is she that senior who's the head of the band, there in Yonsei University?" Lisa nods her head frantically at your question.

You start running towards the commotion, the fallen book long forgotten, with the trio soon following after you, they call out for you, but all you could focus on was her.

Please don't, please don't let this happen. You recite your thoughts like a mantra, wishing for whatever happening to not end up the way you think it would.

However, the sight that greets you when you break through the crowd, crushes your heart. There was the girl who you liked-no-loved, hugging the said girl. You try to stay strong and control your emotions, but when Rosé looks right into your eyes, a tear falls down your cheek.