the urge to buy every comfort object I see when I’m regressing during a split
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc tvl#sam reid#jacob anderson
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the urge to buy every comfort object I see when I’m regressing during a split

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my brain is constantly telling me to end it and its so hard to fight 24/7 and sometimes i break and people just dont get why im seemingly crying over nothing
BPD/ADHD mood swings are wild. Like, here's a super specific example;
*discussing labyrinth, feeling happy and stable*
Me: you remind me of the babe!
Person, who knows the song: *doesn't say "what babe?"*+
Me:
Them:
*drawn out, awkward pause*
Me: wow ok guess its time to cry uncontrollably for the next hour and feel utterly devastated and humiliated for the rest of my life ???? despite knowing this is literally a non-issue and its not me that's upset its my Brain Monster and not wanting to make any kind of deal out of it and allow the moment to pass but my tear ducts are traitors ??? so THAT relationship is gonna be weird forever now
+I found out after that it was because we were talking bout the uhh spandex, they thought I was gonna reply with, "the babe with the dick." ???????????
sry for the vent post. bpd is stupid
this halloween i went as the crippling fear that every relationship i get into will fail due to the person i love getting tired of all my bullshit n ultimately just abandoning me like everyone else 👻👻👻

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i've been doing good managing my bpd but i got One (1) irrational thought and now im d e a d