#boynextdoor analysis

This is merely my opinion, my values and my attitude towards K-Pop. Of course, people can and should use their free time however they want; all of us are free to decide and do whatever we want. In fact, even if I don't agree with things so many fans do and say (dramas, fanwars, toxic shippers, irrelevant content and 500 people shouting the exact same thing on Twitter when an idol uploads a selca...), I defend their right to do and say whatever they want. If someone wants to scream "WHAT ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH?!!!" "WHAT IS THIS, CHRISTOPHER CHAN!!?" everytime a random selca is uploaded, because doing this is what makes them feel happy, I'll fight for their right to do so! Freedom of speech, a very basic and needed right.

Freedom is something non-negotiable for me, it's one of the few things I consider really important in this life, so I won't hesitate to defend mine and others', in any area of life (K-Pop is no exception).

In the same way that, if someone wants to upload memes, I will defend their right to upload memes, if someone wants to upload a post complaining about ARMY or BLINK or whatever, whether they are right or wrong, whether they do it for attention or not, I will defend their right to share their opinion on social networks.

It's as simple as each fan decides how to use their free time, because it's "free time" and not "slave time" for a reason, lol.

In my particular case, I choose not to use my time on dramas or taking K-Pop too seriously and treating it as something other than my hobby and something that is supposed to make me happy.

Besides, I have many other interests I want to spend time on: coding, running and exercising, solving equations and country maps (lol), reading, studying Korean, being with my family, my cats and my irl friends, going for a walk...

So, I couldn't care less if there's a drama, misunderstanding or whatever. I have a life outside of K-Pop and I know my priorities.

Therefore, don't expect me to take part in dramas that come up, get into fights because someone has a different opinion than mine, etc.

I don't care if people have an opinion I disagree with, or if the majority of the fandom has X opinion and I have Z. It's K-Pop, nothing more. What difference does it make if, idk, 5,000 random people on Twitter have an opinion that the ACE of the 4th gen is (just to give a random and invented example) Soobin? What does it matter if the majority of the fandom shipped X and Z while I'm of the opinion that N and Z are closer?

Whoever is right is going to get 1,000 euros? With the right answer is it going to be possible to achieve a cure for cancer or diabetes? Lmfaoo.

(In fact, I talk about my attitude towards differing opinions in the upcoming section: I respect them and even prefer and encourage them).

In other words: life is too short, and there are too important things to do, to be fighting in social networks about something that is a hobby.

Opinions different from mine are not only respected but also preferred and encouraged

I not only respect but encourage opinions different from mine, as long as it is a substantiated opinion, with data/evidence, or at least logical. I mean, if someone comments “X and M are the closest in the group”, “X is the most babygirl in the group” or whatever, without providing arguments or a coherent explanation, I'm just not going to take it seriously.

I'm always open to debate and listening to different points of view! You can let me know in the comments or on dms on any social network :3

However, I already warn you that I am not going to sugar-coat things: if your reasoning doesn't make sense or is not solidly grounded, or if you don't have any proof or evidence that exactly and logically supports your conclusion, I'll let you know. I'm not going to agree with you just to make nice with you or because we're friends.

I am going to listen to you carefully, and I am going to respect you and your opinions, but that does not mean that I am going to say you're right.

Of course you can continue to have your opinions, but you can't force me to think the same you think, just as I can't and don't intend to force anyone to think like me.

I just state what I think and why I think it. And I would like more people to do so.

Opinions different from mine, and healthy and constructive debates, are valued, as in this way both I and those who read my posts and comments can grow and be one step closer to understanding an issue completely.

I consider the coexistence of different opinions a symptom of a healthy society/community. That's what I want my account to be.

As I always repeat: in most situations, no one has the absolute truth. I am no exception. That's why I don't usually state 100% what I expose, unless it is a quite simple and obvious p-->q, like 2+2 = 4 or “according to official statistical data, it is 1 out of 7 men...”

I hope this part is clear.

Many things are just opinions and assumptions. And these can change.

Precise, delineated and verifiable data and evidence, on the other hand, are irrefutable.

About disrespect, drama and so on

If you disrespect me, I won't care: the fact that you think one thing or another about a random account I have on a social network doesn't affect whether there's food in my fridge. You're not going to accomplish anything so I don't recommend it. But do what you want with your time.

The only thing you're going to accomplish if you comment something negative on a post of mine is to make the algorithm reward my post, ergo my post will be recommended more times, in fact.

As you can see, I have no DNI criteria, which should make you understand I am open to talk to absolutely all kinds of people and about all kinds of ideas.

There is no subject or situation that makes me too uncomfortable. I have had such a tough childhood and adolescence that there is nothing that can really bother me. As long as I have food on the table and my family is healthy and doing well, I don't care about anything else. I'm 22 years old, I live in the real world, not like most teenage K-Pop fans who, more often than not, are bothered by every single thing/person, any minor inconvenience and anything that causes them cognitive dissonance as it doesn't fit their narrow and very distorted worldview.

In the real world, you can't block or silence problems or people (at work, for example), and let me tell you, you also don't want to get into drama, because you're too focused on actually relaxing in your free time and doing things that truly matter to you and bring you happiness.

My hobby: understanding, explaining and optimizing things. My personality.

This reminds me of: "You're boring, you don't like fun!" Yes I am, no I don't.

Here comes something that many people may not understand, as my personality and tastes, therefore also the content I upload about K-Pop, are different from most of the fandom.

Sometimes, to relax and as a hobby, I've googled math exercises/problems (algebra, integrals, derivatives, equations...) while listening to Animal Crossing music, I'm not kidding lmfao.

Also, sudokus, statistics problems, spreadhseets and calculus, graphs, googling country GDP rankings and fertility rates and comparing them trying to understand why is it (this was yesterday), etc. Btw it surprised me seeing my country has almost the same GDP per capita as South Korea.

I'm not just passionate about data, logic and learning about any subject, no; it goes beyond that: it's how I feel comfortable. It's almost a necessity, it's something I can't avoid. It's what doesn't require much energy and effort to my brain, so it's what relaxes me and what I feel good doing. Thus, it's what I look for in a hobby.

When I research something, do math problems or any activity that doesn't require me to put my preferences, personal taste and values into it, it's as if my human existence (the interaction with both the outside and with my inner self) is cancelled out, so things become easier and it's so calming, comforting.

It's just an interaction between the problem/subject, my brain and logic. As if I'm not there.

Most of my hobbies are learning, researching, gathering information and seeing what I can do with it, drawing conclusions, optimizing processes, finding logical errors and fallacies, bugs, etc. I also like writing fiction and designing, but not as much as the other. If I have to choose between research/learning and writing, I definitely choose the former.

I love “serious”, “cold” things, that don't require emotions, feelings, tastes and values, subjectivity.... Basically, what most people find boring, to me it amuses me, relaxes me, makes me happy and, above all, is what I feel comfortable with.

I don't pretend to appear morally or intellectually superior. Nor do I claim to be different and mysterious. I am not a pick me. In fact, I am not of the opinion that having my personality to be inherently admirable or better. It is simply different. I doubt Usain Bolt considers himself superior or better than others: he was born that way. That's it. He didn't decide running would be his passion, nor did he decide to be born with those genetics. It's just that this combination of coincidences led him to be the fastest runner in the world. Nothing more.

It could have been him as it could have been anyone else, in this discipline or in any other. I think people should take themselves less seriously.

In short and returning to the main subject, this is my personality. And we cannot separate our personality, the way our brain organically works, from our hobbies and our tastes (therefore from K-Pop).

It's one of the reasons why I've unconsciously self-censored myself all these years I've been part of the K-Pop fandom (I joined in 2020): suddenly, I ran into a lot of people whose brains work significantly differently than mine. People who I couldn't imitate even if I wanted to (trying to be someone I'm not, I ended up exhausted and my depression got worse lol don't try it at home, kids) and people who didn't understand me either, who didn't understand that I was so into rigor and logic even in K-Pop while not taking it seriously. As I'll explain in the upcoming section, it seems as if thorough and well-done, rigorous essays and investigations couldn't be seen as other than a 'serious issue' and not a hobby. And that's not true.

Doing something in a correct and serious way ≠ taking it seriously

Doing something in a serious, professional and correct way doesn't necessarily imply you take it seriously, the same way someone whose hobby is drawing, designing or singing wants to do it well and correctly, even though it's just a hobby.

It doesn't mean you take it seriously; instead, it's just that you like to do it well because you're a perfectionist and passionate about it.

Serious issues and activities (your job, taking care of your family and your money, informing yourself about politics, the economy...) -> Must be done in a serious way.

Hobbies -> you can either chill with it or want to do it the best way you can.

So, I hope the following is understood:

Despite having an investigative zeal and a rational approach, rather an emotional relationship with K-Pop, this is still a hobby, as I just explained.

Yes, I do things seriously and rigorously, but that doesn't mean I take it seriously, lol. As I've said, I just have a good time with serious stuff and mental and “boring” work, rather than explosive video edits (they're too overwhelming for me), memes, etc. It makes me happy to dig deep, discover new flavors of personalities and personality traits, different dynamics, etc.

Everyone is the way they are.

I understand that my personality profile, within the fandom's social media activities and interactions, is not that common. I get it, because for most people hobbies are based on activities that take away from the seriousness of day to day life. However, I'm not like that.

It somehow took me years to accept this is my way of being a fan and I can't change it (I've tried)

And, at this point, I'm tired of making people understand that it's not that I force myself to do serious things or anything, it's just what comes naturally to me and I can't help it. Well, I can help it but it costs me a lot of energy, in the same way that someone who is the opposite of me could write essays and do research but it would cost them more energy than, say, designing something or talking to people.

Never before did I have such a hard time accepting myself until I stumbled upon this fandom. Never before had I felt so outmatched and so misunderstood. Never before had I felt so “a mistake” as I did within K-Pop.

I've always wanted to avoid causing discomfort, drama... I've basically wanted to be invisible. However, it's obvious and inevitable that if your personality is different to that of most people, so you post things that aren't quite common, you'll eventually stand out and might even indirectly cause some drama or discomfort to someone. Which is precisely what I didn't want.

So, I want you to understand that while for most of you being a K-Pop fan is something relatively easy and chill, for me it has taken years of being uncomfortable with myself, not knowing what I was doing wrong and trying to be someone I'm not. Not because of someone harassing me or anything, no. No one hurt me. It was just me constantly thinking "I don't fit in."

It has taken me years, and many attempts trying to mold my personality into what I felt might be a good balance between “the normality of the majority” and me, to accept that I should not and cannot. I should not mold my personality to fit into the community of a hobby, and neither can I be like most K-Pop fans even if I tried. Because every time I've tried I've been extremely uncomfortable, it's cost me a lot of energy and time, and it's been hell for me.

Approach and aims of my account

I mainly do and post this work for me, above anything else. One of the top reasons why I post it is so that I can have a backup copy in case something happens to my mobile phone/computer/email.

I save and archive my writings/analysis/works of any kind because I want to have an ordered register of all the data and opinions that I work on, so that it's easier for me to remember and find later on.

Thus, as I mainly do it for me, posts are written the way I like and feel okay with, posted as frequently as I want, and about whatever I want: idols, bonds and groups I consider it's interesting to talk about...

If you don't enjoy the content I post, that's perfectly fine: there's thousands if not milions of K-Pop accounts on the Internet; you'll most definitely find more than one fitting your taste.

These following ones are the topics I like to investigate, at least nowadays:

Idols: their personalities, likes and dislikes, how they resemble and are different to each other, etc. Who they are, basically, and what makes each of them special and unique.

Dynamics and bonds. How each bond is different to the others, how each member behaves differently in order to accommodate to each member's personality, etc. I'm not going to say "X and Y are 100% together and you cannot think otherwise", lol. That's not my aim.

Concepts, MVs and songs.

The K-Pop fandom, its traits and happenings within it: what are the problems and, most importantly, how to solve them.

The type of works I tend to post are:

Essays

Commentaries and opinions

Archives and compilations

Writings, fanfics, etc. Maybe poetry once in a while?

On my other account, I'll post:

Memes or jokes and references that I personally enjoy.

Quick opinions without extensive elaboration (=not essays)

Others

This means posts I'll upload here will be like a video-essay or a video-compilation: they'll be long, as they'll contain a lot of moments/links/screenshots/images/etc. (basically, evidence) about what I'm talking in the post.

Not only will they contain a considerable amount of evidence, but also an exhaustive explanation.

Why I decide to post these

Despite I write these for me, there are various reasons that lead me to decide making them public:

In case someone finds it interesting, or at least entertaining, to get to know about a group/idol/bond/etc.

In case someone wants to search for a particular moment or data about an idol/group/bond or wants to post in a social media account a compilation or info about it. So, basically, I'm trynna make it easier for them to do so.

In case there's someone like me, so one of their biggest passions is getting to know and digging deep into personalities, concepts, songs, ideas and bonds, in a genuine way and from a standpoint that is inquisitive and critical, reflexive and objetive. That is, someone who, rather than entertaining themselves with idols, songs, concepts and dynamics, genuinely wishes to understand them and get to know them as much as possible.

Also, so that no one else has to invest so much time coming up with all these structures, methods, conclusions... I know better than anyone else that archiving, compilations and going research mode is something that requires a lot of time (which I personally like and value; I like thinks that take time and are slow, but I understand why most people don't) and it requires constancy. If I can make it easier for people, or even have the entire work already done for people to use and enjoy, why not do it? It would be useless if someone did the exact same work that is already done, even more if it's a kind of work most people don't actually enjoy doing. Basically, I don't want anyone to make an effort that ends up being useless :(

In short: I post it in case it is of some benefits or interest to someone.

I don't strive for becoming famous or renowned within Quora, Tumblr, Twitter and YouTube or anything.

If a lot of people read me, okay; if not, okay.

Of course I'd be happy if my work was recognized and many people read it. But not because of me wanting to feed the ego of my persona: I'd be happy because I truly think my work is quite well done and has some degree of quality.

I probably don't have the truth, at least not in everything I say, and that's perfectly fine. Most people don't.

The truly relevant and vital thing is having intellectual humbleness in order to actually know what you don't know (and that's something most people don't have; everyone thinks their logic, worldview and knowledge is flawless).

That's the only way to foster a healthy learning and debating environment, which is my most primordial aim.

Complexity, extension and language

I am careful about the language I use: I won't say "This is (x)" if it's more accurate to use "this is is probably (x)". Another example: "(x) idol does this" instead of a more correct "as far as I've seen/as far as the evidence goes, (x) idol usually does this."

An "always" is vastly different to a "usually", a "sometimes" or a "seldomly".

The difference in implications is even bigger.

If K-Pop fans used language in a more conscientious way, I doubt we'd have most of the recurrent problems that seem perpetually ingrained in the fandom.

Also, I'll mostly use a formal, impersonal, "cold" and distant language because, as I mentioned before, externalizing my emotions and feelings, or dealing and interacting with them, is not my strong suit.

Simply put, the less I have to include myself and others (so, both the external world and my inner world) in what I do, the more I will feel comfortable and happy.