#botwxreader

Heheheheh : )

Sidon:

Yes hello, are you the one who ordered a serving of hot shark boi?

If not, too bad. You’re getting one anyway

(Careful, he’s a biter ;))

Get Sidon’s a bit tipsy, and he goes from friendly to flirty so fast

Actually, clingy might be the better word for it

Good luck prying him off of you

Somehow, he’s more affectionate then usual when he’s like this

Is basically a very loving puppy

(Except the puppy has abs and scales)

You also find out that he’s much heavier than a puppy once he passes out on you

Poor sweetheart can’t hold his liquor

You might need help from the guards to carry him to bed

On the bright side, you’ll get to see an adorably flustered Sidon the next morning

(Awww, the rosy blush matches his scales)

Link:

Honestly, drunk Link’s not that different from his usual self

I mean, he’s already a menace sober

It’s hard to outdo the crazy stunts of the Arson King  

One noticeable difference would be that his antics are on a smaller scale

(The lack of focus and impulse control prevents him from doing anything too big)

He still pulls some weird shit, it’s just that his stunts will have smaller repercussions

Like he’ll accidentally burn down a house or two, instead of the entire region

Goes down from pure chaotic energy, to little gremlin mischievous imp

There IS still some chaos though 

No Link, you don’t think Revali needs a haircut. His feathers are supposed to be long. Hold on, why do you have scissors? Sweetie no, he’s asleep- Wait, Link STOP-

That night, Rebaldi was born

Unfortunately, Rebaldi is not pleased once he discovers the new look

*Cue a montage of Link frantically dodging bomb arrows*

(#The true reason he was put in the shrine of resurrection)

Revali:

[Child mode has been activated]

Aw, he’s like a baby

“SILENCE PEASANT!”

...Never mind, he’s still a little shit

Drunk Revali is like a spoiled fluffy boy-child

Unfortunately, it’s not in the cute way

Nope, he’ll be like that kid who’ll refuse to stop kicking his feet as you try to help him remove his pants (Because it was “too hooooott!”)

Once you finally manage too settle down in bed with him, he starts complaining that now it was too cold

So you pull an extra blanket over him

“...Now ‘s too hot again.”

OH FOR HYLIAS SAKE REVALI!

In the end, it’s best to just throw off the blanket and try to ignore your bratty lovers whining for the night

Eventually, a pair of wings will wrap around you body and pull you into a chestful of feathers from behind

You can feel Revali nuzzle his beak into your shoulder

“That’s better...” He slurs. He passes out immediately after

...Okay, maybe he was a little cute like this 

(But only a little)

You still totally intend to tease him in the morning 

You recall some particular photos that were taken with the sheikah slate that night and can’t wait to show him

(I Adore yanderes Anon, I think their rather intresting people! Oh and you have a nice day aswell! - Vinnie)

Accepted

Of course you accepted him, with all that planning it would have been impossible for you not to.

He's just smiles eerily at you, before hugging you tightly.

The both of you will walk back to his home

He immediately braids his feathers into your hair, the faster he does it the faster people know your his and his alone

He's not shy at letting people know your his.

Especially Link.

He always did notice that the appointed knight always was abit too close for his liking.

But he could never do anything, because it would rise more links back to him.

ANYWAYS

His plan was to eliminate any possible love routes that weren’t him for you

The cute guard in Gerudo town? killed by Yiga

The person who tends to the horses at Rito stable? Trampled to death by their beloved horse

The store clerk in goron city? fell into some lava and burned to death.

But now your his, and anyone who tries to take you away from him will suffer his wrath

Denied

What?

He's stunned for a moment, how could this happen?

after all of his careful planning, after all the time he spent with you, after all the lives he took...all for YOU!

His face goes blank, "You're selfish, You know that?" he'd say nonchalantly before walking away

Of COURSE nobody told him you were dating Link

of COURSE nobody told him that Link had already tainted you

How could he have not of known? It all seemed to obvious now...the touching, the head-leaning, the letters, the blushes-

No.

This is fine, He can work with this

He'll just have to get you a different way

He hates the fact that he has to go this route, but it has to be done.

He'll emotionally manipulate you into thinking Link's cheating on you, as it would be the easiest way right now.

After all, he's always coming home from tailing Zelda all way.

Always coming home with bruises.

And if Revali can use a extremely blunt arrow (Although he did wish he could use a sharp one), point it at his neck and leave a small, round bruise that looks like a love bite.

He would come to "Apologize" to you for putting you on the spot in public, only to come in when you've stomped off in tears.

You'd cry to him, tell him about the bruise

Lol this was fun to think about anon

Revali:

You live with a mom

A very naggy mom

You knew before moving that Revali could be a bit nit picky but Dear Hylia

You weren’t that messy

That sock couldn’t have been on the floor for more then ten minutes, nothing worth throwing a fit over

“Don’t be ridiculous Y/N, this sort of behaviour is completely unsanitary” He uses the tips of his wings to toss the offending piece of fabric at you. “Being at home’s no excuse for neglecting proper hygiene”

....It was a sock

You both eventually learn to compromise overtime

Although you did learn a trick on how to dodge chores

“Y/N, that is NOT how you sweep with a broom.”

“What are you talking about?” *proceeds to wave broom in the air*

“No you’re making it WOrsE-just, just give it here. I’ll do it.”

 Also, he totally wears a headscarf and apron when he’s cleaning

Why? (Because the writer finds the idea hilarious)

He’s like a feathery version of Levi from AoT

Get it? ‘Cause they’re both short

Link:

Has the opposite problem of Revali

Instead of nagging about chores, he just does it all

He’s a do-it-all mom

You won’t even get the chance to help

“Hey Link, I’m heading out to buy groceries!”

 Done.

“Oh, well then I guess I can get started on laundry-” 

Finished.

 “...Can I at least-” 

Already taken care of.

Your lack of contribution was starting to get to you

You were his girlfriend, not a guest

LET YOU HELP GODDAMNIT

You’ll need to have a good talk with him about how give-and-take relationships work

He had enough on his plate already as a knight

He can rely on you to help support him, even if it’s just a few house chores

If he doesn’t listen right away, threaten to hide the cookware

That’ll get his attention fast

You both work out a schedule to suit you both

Now he can actually take some time for himself

Just please don’t hide his cooking stuff, ok? 

(You’d break his little chef heart)

Sidon:

If the other two are moms, then Sidon’s a freaking Grandma

His doting is dialled up to max

If you don’t see each other for more then an hour, he’ll be clinging on to you

“I’m sorry I couldn’t visit sooner Y/N, I promise to make up for the lost time.” Cue aggressive shark cuddles for the next hour

Did-did he forget that you both two lived together? 

it was three hours, not weeks

You even saw him off that morning.

Likes to pile your plate with veggies and protein during meals

“Hylians need to eat these when in order to grow up big and strong, right Love?”

“Sweetie, I’m already in my twenties...”

“Yes, so now’s the best time!” 

As a Zora way past his hundreds, this makes total sense

Goddamn species differences)

Will chase after you with a raincoat if the sky’s even a little cloudy

“You must be more careful darling. Can’t risk getting sick in wet weather”

....You lived in Zoras Domain

EVERYTHING HERE WAS WATER!

Enough was enough

Time to show him that you weren’t so delicate, by challenging him to a sparring match, 

Reluctantly, he accepts. But only after privately resolving to go easy on you

That was a big mistake

Within minutes Sidon’s on his back, with you pointing his own trident at his face

“Sidon, honey?” Your voice was falsely sweet. “Aren’t you always saying to never underestimate a foe” 

Ah.

He forgot. You’ve been training with spears since you could walk

“Er-*cough*- quite right Darling.” He sheepishly takes your offered hand and sits up. “It appears  that I was in need of a reminder.”

You give an undignified snort at that. 

Yeah, no shit.

He lightens up considerably after that

Make sure to let him dote on you a little bit though, ok?

Lol I’ve been trying to think of a good answer for this ask, and 

this eventually came to mind. Enjoy :)

Revali x Foreign Princess

Titles mean very little to Revali, but you live up to yours well

Originally, you came to Hyrule to discuss about providing military support against the Calamity

The soldiers accompanying you showed a surprising amount of devotion towards their princess

After spending some time with you outside of meetings, he quickly starts to see why

You’re fiercely dedicated to your kingdom and its peoples wellbeing, always putting their needs before your own

The Rito Champion can’t help but admire your constant efforts to fulfill your duties as their ruler

In return, you found his never-ending confidence endearing

(Link privately questions the ‘endearing’ part)

It’s only after you two start a relationship that he learns about a particular problem

Ah yes. The kidnappings

The first time it happens, he nearly molts on the spot

Your men are swearing in a panic once they discover the news 

“Oh shit, not again!”

...Again?

This has happened before!??

Revali wants to shoot your soldiers right then and there for their incompetence

(You’re both going to need to have a serious discussion about your knights training after this)

But right now, your rescue is his first priority.

Once he learns where you were last seen, he flies off to retrieve his lost princess

(Little does he know...)

He spends the next few hours on a wild goose chase, frantically dodging and shooting enemies in the way as he makes heads to your location

When he finally arrives, he’s taken aback by the giant building looming over him

Was that castle always here?

No. He’ll have time to think about it once your safe

 A lot of rupees must’ve been spent on the place, ‘cause he has to avoid traps installed inside the building the building almost every five seconds

Seriously, who the hell lived here??  

Eventually, he makes it to the room where you’re being held by-

HOLY HYLIA THAT IS THE BIGGEST LIZALFOS HE HAS EVER SEEN!

Revali’s mildly horrified

He’s never seen so large or...grotesque like this one before

(#AFaceOnlyMamaGanonCouldLove)

Nevertheless, it’s still no match for the great Revali

He quickly dispatches the beast and goes to open the cage you were trapped in-

Only to realize it’s one of your knights being held inside instead

He’s pretty close to losing it at this point as he demands from the guard of your whereabouts

Their answer’s one that he’ll soon come to dread hearing often in the future

*I spy with my little eye, one of my guilty pleasure tropes*

Everytime someone says they like my writing I go through two stages; 1. Shocked disbelief 2. Going into a fit of happy child giggling.

Seriously, to everyone who takes the time to read my stuff; TYSM!!

Okay enough gushing, ya’ll came for a head canons!

Characters are ordered from most to least likely to make you cry.

Revali:

I think we all saw this coming.

Best Rito isn’t known as an asshole for nothing, so obviously he topped this list. 

(Hey, first time he ever beat Link at something)

It’s normal for you two to bicker

But there’s one time where it got way out of hand

Now when Revali’s angry, he shoots words out like a machine gun: they’re quick, painful and accurate

(Good luck getting a word in edgewise)

His comments eventually drive you to tears

UNFORTUNATELY, Featherhead here is a hothead

Will be too caught up in the moment

“Oh there’s no need to act childish Y/N,” There’s a mocking bite in his tone “enough with the crocodile tears.”

When you continue sobbing, his anger starts melting away to guilt

Suddenly he’s very aware of what he’s said

He done fucked up

He’s at a loss for what to do

Will mumble something about training and take off, leaving you alone for the rest of the day

(It’s not that he doesn’t care, he’s just worried that he’ll make things worse right now)

Eventually you cry yourself to sleep in the same spot from that afternoon

You wake up the next morning wrapped in a bundle of blankets inside your hammock

Once you’ve managed to untangled yourself, you spot Revali nearby preparing breakfast

He glances up when he hears you approach

Nervously, he slides some fresh cooked omelettes onto a plate and hands it to you without a word

His face looked like he was worried you’d to eat him instead

(And not in the good way)

You both spend a good minute staring at each other, trying to figure out what to say

Revali decides to break the silence first

“I took some time to to reflect on last night’s events. I realize that I......may have gone too far.”

“No shit.” Sadness had morphed into anger overnight. If he wanted your forgiveness, he’ll need to say a lot more than that

Instead of the usual snippy retort, Revali nods “I suppose I earned that”

...Well that’s not the response you were expecting

Apparently he paid a visit to Zelda last night to discuss her recent friendship with Link. 

He wanted to know how she managed to resolve things between them.

Throughout his explanation, his gaze remained trained on the wooden floor 

His feathers begin to fluff up when you don’t respond right away

“I have many talents y/n, but this isn’t one of them. I have little experience in romantic relationships, along with the difficulties that come with it”

“However,” He finally meets your gaze. “I wish to learn. If you are willing to give me a chance, I promise to do my upmost to work on...this.” He gestures between you and him with his wing “What happened last night... I swear that it will never reach that point again.”

And if you allow him to, Revali will make good on his word

Link:

This guy’s mastered the silent treatment

Link’s a quiet guy so he tends to become distanced when he’s angry, rather then yell it all out

You learn this the hard way after a particularly bad argument with him

 Suddenly, he’s acting colder than an ice talus 

No matter what you say, the only response you’ll get is a dismissive grunt 

This goes on for days

The dude is surprisingly good at holding a grudge

However, one night he returns home late and hears faint weeping

He sneaks upstairs and finds you with your back turned to him while you quietly cry yourself to sleep

His heart nearly cracks in two once he catches a glimpse of your tear-stained face

Will quickly leave before he can get caught

Conversations aren’t his thing, and the situation required more than a simple apology

One thing is clear though; he needed to make amends.

     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There’s a note on your pillow the next morning

Inside it is your boyfriends handwriting, apologizing for his behaviour

Will proceed to list everything he loves about you, from the general things to your little quirks; everything he never says out loud

You did’t even realize you did half of these things 

But Link did

And he loves all of it

At the bottom, he makes you a promise to make up for the last few days

Downstairs, Link’s prepared your favourite dishes

Any of his recent cold behaviour is nowhere to be found

During breakfast, he lets you know that he’s taken the weekend off to spend time with you

That weekend feels like heaven

What Link lacks in words, he makes up for action

Will insist on doing your share of chores, takes you horseback riding for a picnic, he even shows you his secret spot for stargazing

You both take the time to enjoy each others company

 By the end of it, the argument is nothing more than a distant memory

Sidon:

It-it honestly hurts my brain to imagine this soft boi being angry

Like, no.

He baby.

It will take a LOT to make Sidon lose his temper

Even then, it’s probably over something like your safety

For example, if you have a habit of recklessly running into danger with no regard for your own safety like a certain Hylian

Sidon will try to bring up his concerns with you. Multiple times.

You just wave it off every time

The constant dismissing eventually causes him to snap

He won’t do anything big, maybe just raise his voice or shout in frustration

“Would you please LISTEN TO ME!?” 

(Bruh, even when he’s angry he’s polite)

Unfortunately, Sidon is also an 8ft. shark with a booming voice

You know he’d never actually lay a claw on you. He was a gentle lover (No, not like that you naughty sinners)

However; when you hear the natural growl in his voice, and baring his fangs in irritation-

In that that moment, you’re terrified to the point that tears start sliding down your cheeks. You don’t even notice them as they fall

But Sidon does

Poor baby is crushed

Will immediately crouch down and gently gather you up in his arms

He tries to make his voice as soft as possible, cooing words into your ear in an effort to put at ease

“Shh, shh - please don’t cry darling. I am so sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” He rubs small circles on your back to help calm you down. “I swear that won’t happen again.”

Great, now he’s crying too.

(You might actually need to comfort him now too)

Once you’ve both calmed down, you try talking things out again.

This time, you take his worries about you more seriously

(Seriously, where’s Sidons’ official Disney prince title?)

Lol this was really fun to write. Unfortunately I don’t really know how to write Daruk in a romantic relationship, so I left him out of this one. Hope that’s ok.  Remember, my ask box is open if y’all have any requests :)

Revali:

Is practically tearing his feathers out in frustration

It’s been months

He wasn’t even being subtle about it

Busts out the cheesiest pick-up lines he can think of

Even invites you on a trip aboard Vah Medoh

(Normally he’d have an arrow ready for whatever fool so much as breathed near his divine beast)

But whenever anybody asks about your relationship with him?

“Oh no, Revali’s just a good friend.” 

ASDFGHJK-

Please figure it out soon, he’s gonna go mad at this rate

Mipha:

Like with her crush on Link, she has trouble expressing her feelings

Precious girl is a bit shy about it

(She’s the original Paya guys)

One day, she approaches you with her handmade Zora armour 

Unfortunately, no ones informed you about Zora customs, so you just assume it’s a gift

“Wow thanks Mipha, this is great! I’ve been meaning to buy new armour for awhile now.”

Poor girls a blushing mess

Later, one of the other Zoras will recognize the princess’ handiwork, and fills you in on the meaning

What you decide to do with the info is up to you ;)

Urbosa:

Is the most patient of the group

Urbosa’s in no hurry to advance your relationship

She just enjoys the time you spend together

However, there are still moments that flew right over your head

Like the lingering touches around your waist whenever you guys went sandseal-surfing together 

Or the days you’d lose track of time, and end up spending the night at her place to avoid the sandstorms

Sleepovers were innocent and you both just spent the entire time conversing over anything and everything that came to mind

If you were a guy, she’d disguise you as a Vai and sneak you in for the night

“Can’t let my favourite Voe get their cute face lost in the desert, can I?”

(dang, she’s smooth)

Take notes Revali 

Don’t even think of trying to enter Gerudo town in disguise on your own though

(Crush or not, Urbosa will drop-kick your ass into Death Mountain if you try sneaking into town without her permission)

Eventually, she will confess how she feels about you

Is very straightforward about it, leaves nothing to misinterpret

Afterwards, sleepovers together might be become less innocent ;)

*cue the sexy saxophone music*

Link:

Is more of a shower then a teller

So any attempt he makes is probably done through actions

Needless to say, that plan blows up in his face

Flowers? “Oh thanks Link, my neighbours’ been looking for something to brighten her house up”

Jewlery he picked up from Gerudo town? “Is this ‘cause I mended your tunic last week? You know you don’t need to pay me back or anything.”

A kiss on your hand? “Lol, Hyrule Castles’ etiquette must be rubbing off on you Link, is that how they greet people over there?”

Look him in the eyes, you can probably see him internally screaming

Eventually, he comes up with a plan that’s absolutely foolproof

The two of you first bonded over a shared love for food

So food is how he’ll get through to you

He invites you over for dinner one night and you have to stop yourself from drooling when you arrive

Link was one of the best cooks you know, and today is no exception

Soon he approaches you with two bowls and you start to dig in, until you notice what tonights dish was

“Uh Link, is this creamy heart soup?” He barely looks up from his bowl and gives you a quick nod

You cheeks grew warm “Heh, interesting choice. Uh, you probably forgot, but some Hylians consider this a couples meal. Like, you're only supposed to eat this with your lover?”

Link puts down his now empty bowl and looks you straight in the eyes.

He nods. Yeah, he knew already.

Now you were confused. “Wait, then why did you-oh.”

OH.

Wow. Is it just you, or was the room getting really hot?

Link grabs your bowl and cleans up while you continue to process this new information

You’re still quiet when he later escorts you home, and now Links’s starting to get nervous

Maybe he came on too strong? Should he have been more subtle about it? Oh Hylia, what if you began to avoid him after this?

On the outside, he’s totally cool. Inside? The boy is now a screaming ball of anxiety.

His worries are soon put to rest however, once you arrive at your doorstep

Still red-faced, you manage to give him a quick peck on the cheek before stuttering out a “goodnight” and ducking inside your home for the night

It takes a moment for Links brain to reboot

He places a hand over where you had just kissed him a moment ago, then lets out the goofiest grin

Looks like the way to your heart really was through your stomach

(Yeah good job Link, now the reader’s just hungry for you)

Bonus

Sidon:

SURPRISE!

You’re the one who actually confesses this time

Sidon’s a pretty friendly guy in general, but he acted especially affectionate towards you, since you were close friends

Whether it was holding you're hand or placing his arm around your shoulder while strolling through Zoras domain, you both were always touching in some form or manner

With all time you spent together, it’s no surprise that you fall hard and fast for the Zora prince

Plus, who can resist that fine piece of hot shark man

When you finally tell him, Sidon responds with his usual grin (God that smile of his I'm dying-)

“Thank you Y/N, I’m always overjoyed to hear you say so.”

“No-” you stammered, “No Sidon, I mean I like you, as more than a friend.”

His smile turned a bit bemused. “Um, alright? Thank you Y/N, I also like you as well.”

He wasn’t getting it. “No Sidon, I mean romantically. Like, as in I was hoping you might like to go out on a date?”

Cue confused shark boi

“But, are we not already dating?

Wait, what?

[Sidon used uno-reverse card]

[reader was now inflicted with confusion]

Turns out, with how you both acted with each other, Sidon assumed you both just naturally fell into a relationship. 

Basically, he thought you guys were a couple this whole time

He just forgot to do the whole, “confessing to you” part

Looks like you’re not the only one who’s oblivious

You’re totally not bugging me @batmanisepic, thank you for taking the time to send me a request :D  Ok, so it was only after I finished writing this that I  noticed the jealousy part in the request. My bad, haha. Hopefully this is ok though. If you still wish for a version that focuses more on the jealousy part, feel free to send me another ask and I’ll be happy to do it :)

(Warning; minor mentions of death in Urbosa’s section)

Link:

Is the obsessive stalker type

Good luck avoiding him

Being Zeldas personal guard has made Link a professional at tracking

You’d be one of the reasons he hasn’t gone off to fight Ganon right away

You’ll always feel like you’re being watched, but can never seem to find  anything whenever you check

Little do you know, there’s little shadow hiding out of sight, as it follows you home

He even has his own private viewing spot near your window, to watch you go to bed

He doesn’t need to sleep much himself, so he’s can watch you all night without trouble

If anyone opened his sheikah slate, they’d see his album was completely filled with photos of you

He seems to lose the ability to speak whenever he tries to talk with you

So for now, he settles for simply admiring you at a distance

If he overhears you mentioning something you want, you’ll find it lying on your doorstep the next morning

Just hope that he never hears you complaining about someone

It could be over a spat with your friend or a minor slight from the neighbours

It doesn’t matter to him.  Whoever it was, they hurt you

Link’s not going to let that slide

Your town might suddenly become a bit quieter after that

Consider it a favour from the champion, whether you wanted it or not

He’s happy to dispose the trash that dares bother you

Urbosa:

The projective restraining type

The death of Zeldas mother takes a larger toll then she thought

It doesn’t really show though, until one day she spots you visiting her town

Your resemblance to her late friend was striking

You later receive a personal invite to dine with the Gerudo chief that evening

It’s a bit perplexing that you were being invited by the Chief herself, but who were you to pass up the opportunity?

The night goes surprisingly well. Urbosa explains that she enjoys welcoming new visitors whenever she can find the time

(Psst. Spoiler alert, she’s lying.)

Many noble pursuits later, you somehow find yourself sharing your entire life story with her, down to the very last detail

If you weren’t so tipsy, maybe you would’ve noticed how your drinking buddy was listening a bit too intent-sly

It’s not too long after that you black out

When you wake up the next morning, you’re in an unfamiliar room

There’s only one door in the room, but find that it’s locked when you tried to open it

After pounding on the door and shouting for help, the door finally swings open, and Urbosa steps inside with a tray filled with your favourite foods

“Ah, I’m glad to see you awake little Vai.” She winks at you. “I was worried the drinks may have been too strong for you last night.”

She doesn’t give any straight answers to your questions, just telling you to “Enjoy your time here.”

In truth, you were locked in a hidden room located in Urbosas private quarters

No one but the current chief knows about its existed

It was the safest place in the desert, and only she had access to it

She lost her dear friend once, and doesn’t wish to repeat the experience

Provides you with whatever you request for

The only exception is your freedom

In exchange, you become a kind of comfort doll to her

Dresses you in outfits the late queen favoured, and talks to you about old memories of her until you have them memorized by heart

There's no escape from there. The only exit's either locked, or being blocked by an 8 ft. Gerudo fives times your strength

At one point starts telling you about Zelda, and how she’s fared growing up

She also mentions that she looks forward to reuniting you with “your” daughter

That day never comes, as she falls later to the Thunder Blight on Vah Naboris

No one else knows about Urbosas secret room, or of the Hylian trapped within

You’re left to rot inside, trapped for the next century or so

(See, this is why there should be royal therapists guys)

Mipha:

(Oh sweet cheese and crackers, why am I corrupting the sweet bean?)

Nope, can’t do it

I physically cannot see this girl as anything but a sweetheart

Like, she’s a badass. But a pure-hearted badass nonetheless

If she was a yandere, she’d probably be a harmless type

She’d still be obsessed with you like a typical yandere, but her main desire revolves around your personal happiness

Won’t do anything crazy to those close to you, because she knows that would cause you heartbreak

Her mantra is basically “As long as they’re happy, I’m happy”

(Can-I’m sorry, can someone please give this girl a hug? Because Dear Hylia, she deserves so much better.)

(You’ve done Mipha wrong, Botw. I love you, but you’ve done her wrong.)

Daruk:

The other Gorons try to talk Daruk down as they slowly approached him

“Take it easy boss, we just wanna-”

He just swings his boulder breaker around at anyone who starts to get too close

“None of you are getting ‘yer grubby mitts near them, so BACK OFF!!”

The group gets nervous. No one’s ever seen Daruk act so aggressive or hostile before

Even Link can’t get through to the mighty Champion.

Daruk just holds his breaker out again, pointing it towards him in warning

“I’m sorry little guy, but you gotta understand why I can’t back down.”

Link tries to push forward, but his friend’s too far gone at this point

“Just leave us alone, brother. No-one needs to get hurt.”

Eventually, the young champion gives up.

He figured if he couldn’t get through to him, no one can.

Link starts herding the other Gorons out of the area

Reluctantly, they follow him back to town. A somber mood hangs heavily among them

Once they’re all out of sight, Daruk finally relaxes and lowers his weapon

He sits down and takes a moment to grin down at his prize. A few of the Gorons can still be heard in the distance

“Geez, he could’ve shared some with us!”

Daruk ignores their groaning and takes a large bite, savouring the fresh taste of mineral that warms his tongue

He should probably feel bad, but it was the best Rock Roast he’s ever cooked

He plans to enjoy every bit of it

Ask, and ye shall receive anon!

Urbosa:

This Gerudo’s had more than a few wild nights in her younger days

Of course, she put that all behind her once she became chief

...more or less

Hey she may have responsibilities, but she’s not ashamed to let her hair down once in awhile

What she IS ashamed about is the fact you had to witness her table top dancing and sing limericks of  the ways how Revali could “go fuck himself”

...

She’s had a long, hard week ok? Please don’t judge her too much

Will be very flirty as you try to get her off the table

“Ah, would you prefer a more private show then?” She winks and leans into your ear, “I like your boldness my dear”

!!!

Water, you need water.

Nothing happens of course

She can barely walk home without your help, and your mama raised you right

*If you’re too drunk to walk, you’re too drunk to give proper consent*

(This has been your botw psa)

You both have a good laugh about the whole thing the next morning

Especially when you find out “An ode to Revalis wing” becomes a hit sensation with the bards

Riju:

*RECORD SCRATCH*

“Excuse me young lady, who let you in here?”

Riju made be chief, but she’s still a young vai

No underage drinking for her

She does not have the seal of approval

Mipha:

...She thought it was grape juice

Girl’s not much of a drinker

Thankfully, she’s similar to her brother when she’s tipsy

Will be super affectionate and giggly AF

Clings onto your arm the entire night

(Seriously, are we sure these siblings are sharks?)

(They seem more like very cute puppies)

When she starts getting sleepy, she’ll nuzzle into your shoulder and coo about how soft Hylians are

*Hrk*

[Congrats, you died from cuteness overload]

[See you in a hundred years bucko]

Zelda:

“Darling, what d’ya think fire tastes like? D-do y’think s’spicy?”

...What?

“*GASP!* I should taste it!”

WHAT NO, STOP TRYING TO LICK THE FLAMES!

“I GOTTA KNOW, FOR SCIENCE!!”

IT TASTES LIKE PAIN BABE, NOW STOP!!

Drunk Zelda goes full scientist

But instead of doing science, it’s just chaos

(You low-key blame Links influence for this)

Speaking of which, you’ve learned to have the Hylian champion accompany you both whenever you planned to go out for drinks

You need the backup help for whenever she gets out of hand

She’s frighteningly strong when she wants to be

Revali has a picture on his sheikah slate of one time when Zelda got Link good with a right hook

(He looks at it often, during his century trapped upon Vah Medoh)