It seems like only yesterday we were being introduced to the Jem'Hadar way back at the end of season two, and now we're already to the end of season 5 and the long-simmering hostilities between the Federation and the Dominion finally boiling over! Yes, it's "Call to Arms", where a bunch of threads pay off and the Alpha Quadrant is turned upside-down!
Also this week: a different way to end seasons, screwed-up Federation priorities, and wrapping season 5!
Timestamps: "Call to Arms": 02:12; Season Wrap: 50:16
Season 5 Wrap Up: Thwarted by B Plots in DS9’s 5th Season
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Bonus post inspired by that ask from @rays-of-fire-and-ice: my three worst Bleach chapters than nobody should read if they don’t have to, in descending order:
187. The Cigar Blues, Part Two. Look, I recognize Kubo had to reveal that Isshin was a Soul Reaper at some point, and it was never going to be pretty, given that it sorta undermines the basic shonen premise where the hero can’t look to his parents for help. I also understand that he needed to get rid of Grand Fisher somehow, since the story had outgrown him as a villain. But combining the two just makes the whole chapter seem sloppy where Bleach is usually impeccably precise. I have a half-written post in my drafts about why this chapter didn’t work, so at least it made me think about storytelling, but it’s not very good.
26. Paradise is Nowhere. Kon was originally introduced as kind of a sympathetic character, a fully sentient artificial soul who just wanted to exist like anybody else. Rather than explore this in a thoughtful way, this chapter decides that his angst is best expressed as hopeless sexual perversion, which unfortunately becomes the norm (with rare exceptions) for the rest of the manga. There are occasional bits of characterization (Ryo Kunieda!) that I took value in, so it’s not a total loss.
256. Infinite Slick. An entire chapter about how Pesche and Dondochakka are idiots. Why did Kubo think this was a good idea? How did his editor ever sign off on it? Did Weekly Shonen Jump consider apologizing to their readers for wasting their time with this nonsense? They should have!
Okay well I'm curious....which do you think are the worst/best episodes?
Ok, so this is going to be uneven because I really only have a top 3 worst episodes but lean more toward top 5 best episodes.
WORST
3. 2x11: 2x11 is just cringey, and I don't say that a lot. I have a very high tolerance for what other people consider cringey, but this one is just...bad. Riverdale season 2 definitely tried the hardest at giving social commentary, but this was just a failure. Taking the gang that had been and would continue to be under Jughead's leadership (and the leadership of other white people) and giving it a history of being a Native American group that is no longer led by Native Americans is just...it's bad, man, it's really bad, and I just kind of ignore it in general so I can enjoy my gang nonsense. And the way it went about its social commentary was just...no, don't do it that way. I will say, though, that Archie and Hiram competing over wrestling was so weird and cringey that it looped right back around into being wildly entertaining.
2. 1x01: Oh yeah, I hate the pilot, and I'm pretty open about it. The pilot is one thing Riverdale should never be: dull as fuck. The first time I gave this show a try with a friend, we watched the pilot and peaced out because we were promised nonsense and got something super dull in return. It's very teen drama, which is NOT why I'm here. I am here for live action anime bullshit, thank you very much. Like, I get it, the pilot sets up the status quo of Archie Comics and then knocks it down. It says "this is the track we would normally go on, except this is Riverdale, so we are going off the rails starting NOW". I can appreciate that from a storytelling standpoint, but I still find it super, super dull.
1. 4x17: We all saw this one coming, right? Like, it's very "Three strikes and you're out", this episode. First of all, it's fucking dull, just a bunch of teen drama bullshit, which I fucking hate, until the discovery at the end. Then, it takes a famously queer musical and gives all the romantic (for lack of a better word, I've heard these songs are complicated in that way) numbers to straight couples, and that is just...ugh, don't do that. And THEN there is the OOC cheating and trashing of the two stable ships that kept this show interesting and original and the character assassination of Betty Cooper and Archie Andrews. I fully intend to never watch this episode again, even on rewatches, should I ever do them again.
BEST:
5. 3x19: JONES FAMILY! Just a whole episode with the Jones family doing wild shit together, and Penny shows up and I just love her so much, and there's that awesome fight scene with Josie singing and it's just *chef's kiss*.
4. 2x05: I just really like this episode? I think it moves the plot along well, and their rendition of "Out Tonight" is one of my favorites of that song. Also, that sequence? The match up of the lyrics to the scenes? The cinematography of the gauntlet? FUCKING FLAWLESS. Just a good, strong episode.
3. 2x19: Omg, the dark, investigative bughead! Like, that's it, really, that's why I love the episode. Betty and Jughead do some great investigating and then tie up Chic in the basement and beat the shit out of him and then Betty gently cups Jughead's face and it's so fucked up and just AMAZING. I love it, give me more of it.
2. 4x16: Ngl, this is more of a tie with 2x19, but still. God, it's just a whole episode of Betty and Jughead gloating, it's amazing. Also we get dark!Betty and dark!Jughead! We get dark!Betty with her threatening of Donna and dark!Jughead with his assault on Bret, and they just have zero regrets or moral qualms with their fucked up "the ends justify the means" actions, and I love it to pieces.
1. 4x19: Ok, so, it's more of a three-way tie for first place, now that I've dropped all three episode numbers, but I think this one edges things out. Yes, there's the taint of Betty not having told Jughead about the kiss, but otherwise it's SO GOOD? Like, again dark!bughead! We get both the darkness in Jughead's story that is so, SO amazing, but we also get Betty and Jughead being like "yeah, this level of fucked up in a story is great" and that sexy, sexy moment in the Blue and Gold and also Betty just being supportive of Jughead's writing and also a crazy person. And the kids going to their parents to complain about being banned from prom was so bratty teenager, and the parents' threats to Mr. Honey were just *chef's kiss*. I love the reveal that Mr. Honey was, like, good for the school and gave Jughead a good recommendation, but he still gives off SUCH asshole vibes that I still don't know what to do with him. And he may or may not be dead! Solid mystery end. It's a real pity that this episode was written by Ted, who is such a raging asshole on social media and also annoyingly interested in splitting up the main couples. Like, fuck him as a person, but damn did he write a good episode.
tl;dr I hate it when Riverdale is boring and I love dark!bughead.
Wake me when Season 1 of Enterprise gets interesting
by Ames
Season one of Enterprise just seemed to fly by, and thank goodness because we’re not finding it all that great, to be honest. Too much of it feels like more of the same stories that previous Treks have already told way better, but with less likable characters, less nuanced writing, and so much sexual objectification that we feel ill just watching it sometimes.
Sure, it’s still probably better than season one of TNG, which had more objectively BAD episodes, but it’s surprising to your hosts here at A Star to Steer Her By just how boring this show is so far. We’ve noted a bunch of times over in our podcast coverage that there never seems to be any stakes because every opportunity for some character (main, side, guest, even background) to get killed, they never do. So grab your phase pistol and see what we had to wade through to get here in our usual bottom and top episodes from the season below and also in this week’s podcast chat (jump to 56:26 for season discussion). Cap’n.
There was a lot to dislike this season and I’m pretty sure we covered most of this season’s dreck in our typically varied responses here. Good work, “Cold Front,” you managed to squeak through somehow despite that terrible airlock scene.
“The Andorian Incident”: Ames
If you’ve been following along with our podcast coverage, you’re probably as tired of me hating on Archer as I am of Archer hating on Vulcans, and this is where that sour taste really transpired. It’s a whole episode of our captain going lightyears out of his way to ruin some Vulcans’ day and then patting himself on the back for being justified about being so racist.
“Silent Enemy”: Chris
Talk about uneven. What was almost an intriguing suspense episode about the crew being wholly unprepared for the kinds of enemies you find in space is thoroughly undercut by a mismatched B plot that, while cute, is distracting as hell, and by some really laughable alien design. At least Reed gets some pineapple cake.
“Fight or Flight”: Jake
Poor Sluggo, we hardly knew thee. Boy, does this show start off with characters it’s just hard to care about. We’ve got Hoshi being pathetic in an “overcoming your fears” plotline so predictable I could have called every beat. And Archer simultaneously being indecisive and whining about his decisions at the same time. And then the metaphor with releasing the slug doesn’t even mesh!
“Fortunate Son”: Jake
While it’s unfortunate how little Mayweather gets to do, I can’t say I feel that bad about it considering that everything he does get to do in this episode is annoying as hell. We’d love to see more about his upbringing as a boomer and the culture clash therein, but this episode botches it hard by making all the Fortunate crew assholes!
“Broken Bow”: Caitlin, Chris
The whole series really gets off on the wrong foot with a premiere that is simultaneously too little and too much all at once. Between the Klingons, the Suliban, the Vulcans, the flashback scenes with Archer’s dad, the weird time room with the Humanoid Figure, AND introducing us to the whole crew, there are too many things happening, but absolutely none of them are interesting!
“Dear Doctor”: Ames, Caitlin
All season long, we’ve been struggling with what we think of the Phlox character, and it mostly boils down to us finding him offputting. So of course the most Phlox-centric episode is in our bottoms list. Certainly helping matters is the fact that both Phlox AND the writers don’t understand evolution at all and use that as an excuse to genocide a people. Oops.
“Fusion”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake
But the one that gets votes from all your SSHB hosts is the episode that sexually exploits the token hot character, as always. Hang on, that doesn’t narrow it down. It’s the one with the mind rapist Vulcan who takes advantage of T’Pol, entirely muddying whatever message about Vulcans this whole season was trying to make. Turns out they’re ALL just monsters, but in different ways, except for one you’ll see in our top episodes.
—
Top Three Episodes
It’s hard to call these “top” episodes of anything, as you’ll see we all pretty much agreed on two episodes this season that were genuinely enjoyable, and each of us frankly struggled to think of a third that we could see giving any accolades to...
“Acquisition”: Chris
Listen, we don’t like it any more than you do, but there weren’t enough decent episodes this season and Chris had to include this retread of much better episodes. But you know what: the Ferengi hit us right in the fanservice spot, the veteran alumni are all pros, and aside from all the oomox, it was at least entertaining.
“Oasis”: Jake
Back when we were covering season 2 of DS9, Jake put “Shadowplay” on his tops list, so it’s only fitting that he essentially do it again with this carbon copy of an episode. I guess there’s nothing wrong with doing the same idea twice when it’s a good one like this. It’s even got Rene Auberjonois! What’s not to like?
“Fallen Hero”: Caitlin
One more “I know that face!” episode coaxing an emotional reaction out of us, which is almost certainly exactly what the show wanted to achieve. In this case, we have to give Fionnula Flanagan some credit for bringing some much needed nuance to the Vulcans, who badly needed it this season.
“Vox Sola”: Ames
The final one-off episode that we scraped up to include on this list. And no, it’s not perfect by any stretch, but I have to give it some credit for giving us a truly alien alien, which I’m always a fan of watching our crew interact with. And T’Pol and Sato got to have some scenes together, which is a nice character pairing!
“Shockwave, Part I”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake
Thank goodness for this season finale. Without it, I have no idea how deep into the bench we’d have to dig for other Top Episodes. But I have to hand it to this finale: this was the first time I felt like there were stakes and consequences. And what a cliffhanger! Say what you will about the Temporal Cold War, but seeing a ravaged 31st century scene sure makes things interesting.
“Shuttlepod One”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake
But the one episode I can say we all legitimately liked this season was one of the great bottle episodes of Trek. Proving yet again that less is more, this little character piece leans on the acting chops of Connor Trineer and Dominic Keating, whose chemistry together is lovely to watch. Just super solid all around.
—
Pass the pecan pie, the rocky road ice cream, and the pineapple cake; we’re on for dessert! We’re hoping season two shapes up better overall than this one, so find out with us as we watch along in our podcast coverage over on SoundCloud or wherever you get your podcasts, bounce a message off of Echo One on Facebook and Twitter, and get me a spoon!
After an extremely underwhelming season one of Enterprise, your hosts here at A Star to Steer Her By were over the moon to see season two start out with some material that got us actually excited. New ideas? Character moments? Actual stakes? Was this season going to make up for the recycled ideas, boring premises, and missed opportunities of the first?
And then the season went immediately downhill with some of the worst Trek we’ve seen since The Animated Series. Archer might be our pissiest captain to date. T’Pol is so constantly sexualized that it makes our stomachs turn. Every time Mayweather tries to get a line, he’s conveniently injured so we don’t need to have him appear in scenes. Are we being too hard on Enterprise? There is some good stuff, as you’ll see below and in our discussion on this week’s podcast episode (jump to 1:03:49) as we wrap the season with our usual top and bottom episodes, but we’re feeling frustrated. I guess we don’t have faith of the heart.
We’re starting with Tops this time because we have stronger emotions over this season’s Bottoms list, so we’ll get to those in a minute. There were still some highlights (or at least higher-lights), and you’ll notice that the best of them are clustered around the beginning of the season:
“Judgment”: Caitlin
Like in season one when we got episodes with Jeffrey Combs, Ethan Philips, and Fionnula Flanagan, a Trek-experienced guest star can redeem an otherwise standard plot. Sure, “Judgment” treads a lot of the same ground we’ve trod before, but J.G. Hertzler as Advocate Kolos is something new for Klingon culture and he chews the scenery so well!
“Regeneration”: Jake
We love us a good Borg episode, and this one pulls it off. You could argue that Borg don’t belong in a prequel series, and you’d probably be right, but the tension created throughout this episode, the creepy environment we find ourselves in, the clever way the writers got around the canon issue, and the sense that there were actual stakes for a change are all commendable. Resistance is futile.
“Singularity”: Chris
Like a “The Naked Time” or a “The Naked Now,” this one really thrives on how committed all of the actors are to their respective bits. Most of the plot feels like filler – an anomaly of the week affects the crew in weird ways; we’ve seen this a million times – but there’s just something about watching Trip fixate over a chair and Hoshi obsess over her soup recipe that’s just so charming we can’t help but enjoy it.
“Minefield”: Ames
Of all our main crewmembers, Lieutenant Reed remains the most vague, and this episode makes us fully okay with that! We get a glimpse into his stiff-upper-lip brand of British Gumption™ paired with the stress his family put on him to succeed, and he just works! So this sweet little character piece about Reed preparing to sacrifice himself for the ship is just the right amount of character insight we need into our pineapple-loving security chief.
“Cease Fire”: Caitlin
Andorians are just fun. A large portion of the appeal of the blue baddies rests on the shoulders of Jeffrey Combs as Shran, who is so capable of playing just about anything. But this episode deepens the culture of our antennaed friends by adding some infighting to the mix with the addition of Lieutenant Tarah, played so hypnotically by the ever-great Suzie Plakson! Always a good day when you get to see her!
“Carbon Creek”: Ames, Chris, Jake
The episodes that we see agreement for among your SSHB hosts are also those early episodes I was referring to when we still had hope for the season. This bedtime story of Vulcan lore succeeds in showing us a different side of our pointy-eared allies, basically pulling a Coneheads. Nothing wrong with that. And we get such fascinating new characters out of them that I actually amended my Favorite Vulcans list!
“Dead Stop”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake
The one we all put on our Tops list this season is also one of the more original stories from Enterprise. The idea of an enigmatic race of aliens who created an automated repair station is interesting enough on its own, but the creepiness builds throughout; the clean, white design sets an appropriately offputting tone; and everyone is left on edge. And we already know Roxann Dawson rocks at voicing homicidal computers.
—
Bottom Three Episodes
And now for the nerd rage portion of our wrap up. We had such hopes when we started this season, but then the rest alternated from “this has been done before and better” to “well, that was unsatisfying” to “cringe cringe cringe cringe cringe!” Here are this season’s biggest offenders, in every definition of the word:
“The Expanse”: Chris
We can see the season finale is trying to set something up with the Xindi attack on Earth, but what we get are a lot of expository scenes, an entirely disjointed sideplot with the unfathomably present Klingons, and a not-at-all-subtle 9/11 allegory that is going to taint a lot of our future watching. Why are the Xindi stupid enough to test their probe on Earth and then do nothing for months? Find out next season on Enterprise!
“Bounty”: Caitlin
While the A-plot of this episode is fine, it warrants inclusion because the B-plot is so enraging. We’ve already had enough of pon farr after train wrecks like Voyager’s “Blood Fever” and the uncomfortable Saavik scene from The Search for Spock. So we’re all the more done with it when Enterprise forces T’Pol to writhe around erotically in her underpants and sexually assault Phlox and Reed. YUCK.
“Cogenitor”: Chris
If you were looking for more reasons to be angry at Archer, we’ve got an episode for you. It could have been successful if we could be sure what its messaging was. We fume at the Vissians for how they treat the cogenitors and assume that’s the point... Until Archer just starts screaming at Trip for standing up for a marginalized person, and refuses to grant Charles asylum after they begged for it. So. Whose side are we supposed to be on? Because it can’t be Archer’s, right? Right?
“Vanishing Point”: Caitlin, Jake
What a let down. What could have been an interesting new concept about early uses of the transporter, in an era when they were even more terrifying than usual, gets entirely negated by the conclusion that “it was all just a dream.” These cop-out ending pull the rug out from under you and make everything you watched feel like a trick. As if we needed more to hate about dream episodes.
“Stigma”: Ames, Jake
Just when you thought last season’s rape-happy episode “Fusion” was behind us, it rears its ugly head again in this HIV/AIDS allegory that comes decades too late. Yet again, T’Pol gets stripped of her agency so that various Men In The Room can decide what’s best for her. And to make matters worse, the incongruous B-plot seems to suggest that Trip is close-minded for not wanting Phlox’s wife to sexually assault him all day!
“A Night in Sickbay”: Ames, Chris
I disliked Archer and Phlox enough after season one – and things were looking up for season two – when this episode comes crashing down. Archer is just a Big Baby all episode long because he refuses to apologize for Porthos pissing on the Kreetassans’ sacred tree, Phlox is nothing but obnoxious and disgusting the whole time, and we get even more objectifying T’Pol in Archer’s dreams for no reason!
“Precious Cargo”: Ames, Caitlin, Jake
But the worst of the worst this season just has to be this rehash of TNG’s “The Perfect Mate,” which we hated enough to begin with! Another Kriosian woman is being transported in cryostasis, allowing for an episode of Kaitamma and Trip running around in their underwear until they predictably make love by a stream. Add to that Padma Lakshmi’s awful, awful acting and you’ve made it to the bottom of the season. Woo.
—
It’s been a long road, but we’re already halfway through Enterprise. Season three promises to at least shake things up a little, for better or for worse, so we have that to look forward to as we’ll have SO MUCH to discuss over on the weekly watch-through on SoundCloud (or wherever you podcast). You can also tell us your favorite and least favorite season 2 episodes over on Facebook and Twitter. I, for one, welcome our new Xindi overlords!
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Season one of Star Trek: The Next Generation is an uphill battle, but it'll get better, right? Your heroes here at A Star to Steer Her By just wrapped the first season, and can't wait for Picard and crew to hit their stride, or at least change their uniforms.
Because TNG has so many episodes, instead of waiting for the end of the series, we decided to do an abridged season wrap, complete with top and bottom three episode lists. And not surprisingly, we barely agreed on anything, and someone brought a poisoned glavin to the recording session.
Let's start with our bottom threes so we can end on a positive note. Or an "I guess these were okay" note. Here's a bunch of rookie mistakes from season one.
“The Last Outpost”: Ames
What TNG did to the Ferengi is a crime that it takes until we get Quark in DS9 to atone for. Turning a villainous race into the jokes they were just ruined this episode and the whole race for years to come.
“Too Short a Season”: Ames
The makeup alone is enough to put this one on the shit list, but add to that some lousy acting and lots of shoddy episode padding, and you've got a show that looks worse than Jameson's face.
“Skin of Evil”: Caitlin
Say what you will about Tasha Yar's demise, Armus is a stupid idea for a villain. With way too much talking to a printer ink–covered rubber costume about how evil it is, this episode ended up being mostly tedious.
“Conspiracy”: Jake
In an attempt at continuity between episodes, Star Trek manages to completely bungle everything that "Coming of Age" set up and make everyone confused as to what the hell is going on and why everyone is exploding.
“Justice”: Jake
Roddenberry clearly inserted way too much of himself (you know which part of himself) into this episode. Also we enthusiastically break the Prime Directive again. Also there's god. Also they kept Wesley alive.
“The Neutral Zone”: Caitlin and Chris
What do you do when you have two half-episodes? Do you cram them sloppily together and hope one cancels out the faults of the other? Well, not if you know how to write good episodes, but we're not there yet.
“Angel One”: Ames and Chris
It is a feat unto itself for an attempt at commentary on apartheid to somehow also end up getting feminism upsettingly wrong. We're still baffled as to what this episode was trying to accomplish, but we can tell it failed.
“Code of Honor”: Caitlin, Chris, and Jake
The gold for stinkiest turd goes to "Code of Honor," with its really uncomfortable racist casting choices, showing its hand and spoiling the tension, and did I mention the really uncomfortable casting choices?
Top Three Episodes
And here are some highlights we'll probably never talk about again because future seasons are so much better. These prove that we're on our way there though.
“Encounter at Farpoint”: Ames
Anything with Q gets extra points, and the series premiere had lots of him being absolutely delightful. An extra nod to the jellyfish, the most alien creatures on earth, in space, and everywhere in between.
“Datalore”: Caitlin
Two Datas are better than one in this fascinating though sometimes confusing Data backstory episode. Basically, when in doubt, just add more Datas, as we're about to prove...
“We'll Always Have Paris”: Ames
If two Datas are better than one, then three Datas is just topnotch, right? Anything with some hard science that breaks time is plenty fun, and Picard's romance scene was sweet enough. Next time: infinite Datas.
“Haven”: Caitlin
Majel Barrett's back as the fabulously over-the-top Mama Troi, lookin' fine. We've got an awkward love story and an awkward plague ship and some awkward scenes with Riker, and you know what, it sorta works!
“Coming of Age”: Chris
We could watch Wesley failing in this episode for days for the schadenfreude alone. Kudos to a storyline that actually knew what to do with the little know-it-all for a change.
“Heart of Glory”: Chris
We finally get some Klingon action and it's been worth the wait. Worf is on his way to being a three-dimensional character, and we are 100% here for this. RAWR!
“Where No One Has Gone Before”: Jake
The Traveler manages to fix "Shore Leave" from TOS with a much better episode that smashes thought and reality together and gives us some great visuals on the edge of the universe. Sorry not sorry, Finnegan.
“11001001”: Ames and Jake
Picard is starting to fill out his character, the Bynars are a fabulous concept for an alien species, and we've got some nifty science to go with it when we finally drag Riker and Picard away from macking on their holo-woman.
“Symbiosis”: Caitlin, Chris, and Jake
Three of your hosts conspired to agree on this one (I'm sensing a pattern). Ignore the Nancy Reagan PSA for a minute, and you've got a lot of really great political commentary that sparked one of the more intelligent conversations we've had.
Did that get you in the mood for more final verdicts? There's a holodeck program for that. Check out the Top Five and Bottom Five TOS episodes, and the Worst and Less Worse Episodes of TAS.
We're bound to get some better TNG soon, though the beginning of season two isn't much to start with, so stay tuned, be sure to keep listening, follow A Star to Steer Her By on Facebook and Twitter, and get ready to crank out more and more Datas.
