#both exist

With the absolute disgusting idiocy coming out out the US lately I don't exactly have a positive place to compare Norway to. I genuinely do feel safer here than anywhere I've ever lived.

But two things can be true at the same time, and safer doesn't mean perfect. And unfortunately I've always been smart enough to find examples of both love and hate written into the subtext of what people do around me.

For love, take for instance my new friend. I'm perfectly capable of remaining friends with someone who is in love with me. I've always had a positive affect on people which means that anyone spending a significant enough amount of time with me is usually bound to fall in love at some point whether they admit it or not.

And like for real I have to beg yall to forgive me for saying this because it's common enough that hiding the fact that I know this just feels like lying more and more and more. So I really do have to say it out loud and just hope you'll forgive me.

I know. I do see it.

My friend who I can see struggling with her feelings? My other friend who fights really hard to defend her relationship with her boyfriend every time she's with me, the bartender who comes around to a group I'm talking with and proudly proclaims "I'll kick ALL yall asses!" (That was so adorable and I loved him for that. It was a moment of pure joy) 🥰🥰🥰

The point is, I see the love, I see the joy. I'm very happy with it and to have such an affect on people feels like fucking magic

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............ that being said,

I also feel the opposite.

That same thing that lets me see when people obviously have positive and loving (often platonic but absolutely loving) feelings towards me also shows the same signs when they're directed towards hate.

Like for instance volunteering.

"Welcome to the volunteer center. We hate when people don't help us, and eat all our free food"

Me: Well I'm here to help and I can find my own food, let's get to work!

Volunteer center: "not so fast! We're gonna sit here and relax. Would you like something to drink? We also do actually have free food."

Me: "it's OK you can just put me to work. I'm here to volunteer"

Center: "Oh it's not that serious. Also we're gonna create a schedule and make it where you have to show up on certain dates and times"

Me: "huh? Can we.. Just do some... work?"

Center: "also this guy is hyper-christian and is gonna try to prove that trans people are up to no good. But don't worry! He'll do it with a smile while we print out stuff for his church and we display flyers for the ultra right wing political party"

Me: "I'm gonna have to leave soon, we've been here for a couple hours now and I hadn't thought to give up my whole night..."

Center: "Oh yeah uhm...fold these flyers. It'll take 5 minutes."

Me: "Ok. Anything more I can do? I'll try to.."

Center: "no no you have to leave, it's OK you can go. By the way, we HATE people who come here, take our free food, and don't help"

Me: (internally) and you just gave me free food, and DIDN'T GIVE ME ANYTHING TO DO TO HELP. Message fucking received.

I'll put this here and in the tags because it's too important and people will read that I've observed hateful actions in Norway and completely ignore that I said I CAN SEE THAT PEOPLE LOVE ME HERE:

The amount of love that I see in this country FAR EXCEEDS the amount of hate. I get a sense that there is real healing happening here and I am genuinely glad to be a part of it

oh very much so

the spiral of destruction is a tragic one

broke: jealous joel or some shit… doesn’t like lenny… easily irritable…

woke: (to the tune of santa clause did you fuck my mom?) miriam maisel did you fuck my favorite comedian lenny bruce??

why, can it not be both?