#both can exist

Just thinking of Grace getting sick on Stratt’s vat ashjsnsisjs

Some pictures of my darling girl 💜

Today has been long.

The waiting for it to be time was the worst. I cried so much and hurt and it was so hard to shove that away to not stress her out more. This cat pulled out her tail hair when I was stressed.

Unfriendly was concerned she'd be hungry and didn't want her to be hungry on top of everything, so he syringe fed her a little dinner last night and breakfast today. (🥹) She didn't really resist and did swallow her food.

She still had the ability to not wet herself. When I put her in her litter at 2 and the 4:30, she peed. She pooped a little last night but I had to hold her up.

This morning she did grip my finger with her left front paw a bit, but she was mostly checked out. I just got the tiniest flash of her.

When we got there, I realized I could have planned the cremation to be today and the clinic paperwork is what triggered that thought. The receptionist thought the place I had been using didn't offer viewing the cremation anymore but thankfully she was wrong. I was able to call them and give them the heads up to do a same-day cremation after the process was done.

The process was less alarming than Loki's but more than Diva's. Gigabyte possibly had nerve degeneration that was affecting her breathing and swallowing. The sedative made it so she had to open her mouth to breathe, which was not something I was expecting. Her muscle wasting probably affected her and being too sleepy probably strained her. She also had post-death exhalation that was new to me. Both Diva and Loki just looked like they just left peacefully.

They did a paw print and fur clip at her clinic and wrapped her and put her in a nice zipped body bag for us to take her. So surreal and yet also not. So we did.

The funeral director was the same man who also did both Diva and Loki's cremations. The viewing room has some seating. You can have a prayer read or not. She was laid on a table in front of us with some toys, covered with a blanket. He placed her in and I gave the nod for when it could start. You don't see anything .

I needed to see her placed. I needed to know she was starting her transformation from kitty to ashes. It sounds odd maybe, but that's what started with Loki and has continued. We picked her ashes up 3 hours later.

We wandered. Got breakfast. Got stuff at Lowe's and then picked her up.

requiem for the living

3.3k, 1/1, botl

summary: Percy is alive after Mt St Helens. He and Annabeth talk about it.

“Did you think I was dead?”

“Never.”

“That eulogy said differently.”

He barely heard anything at all. Annabeth was going to say a lot more, though she didn’t know what. Thinking of Percy in the past tense made her stomach twist so uncomfortably that she barely had the first sentence written before she abandoned the speech completely.