#bookswinalways

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Earlier this June, I graduated with an undergraduate history degree from UCSD. Since then, to say I’ve been flailing around while trying to forge ahead in this pandemic-induced quagmire would be a slight overstatement, but not a stretch. Until January 2020, I was seriously considering graduate school. Unfortunately, the more I worked on my honors thesis, the less invested I felt in following through no one else’s fault but my own.

This is why, if you are considering grad school, please write a fifty page thesis first and then evaluate for your own sanity. In the end, my thesis was submitted only to my mentor-- I was unable to finish it in time for the honors deadline. The research was so much fun, and so interesting, but it wasn’t clicking for me. I loved working with my professor, but because I couldn't truly go all in mentally, it didn't work in my favor even with consistently positive feedback.

So, throughout these several months, a few things came to light. 

I do not want to stop learning

I still love history so so so much but I want to learn it on my own terms and not pursue it as a career/specific emphasis at this time

I want to challenge myself by learning something that I’m not as familiar with 

I must do something I can feel passionate about

I want to hear people’s stories and continue similar volunteer and community work if possible

I want to feel connected to my work

And then, something clicked. I had taken a law course during study abroad, but after transferring schools it hadn't felt as relevant. After graduation, I started to research law more seriously, and took an online course. And studying felt exciting again! Reading felt exciting again! The future felt a bit more corporeal. I took an LSAT diagnostic (bless Khan Academy) and found I did far better on it than on the GRE practice sections, and it was actually enjoyable. I kept finding that there were things I wanted to do with law, and certain areas that seemed to speak to me. I still love history, but this felt right.

In summation: I want to go to law school. Not the most casual statement, and it’s an opportunity I am lucky to even consider. I’m still trying to adjust my short term goals to my new long term one, and even though it feels right, quite frankly, I’m not sure how I’m going to go about doing this. There is no guarantee that this will work out. But I really want to try, and use this platform more often as a way of staying on track.

Furthermore, I definitely need to explore the field and the opportunities even more, and get some hands-on experience within them. Feeling alright about an LSAT diagnostic score and enjoying some funky intellectual stimulus isn't a sturdy enough reason to go all in, and even though those aren't my main reasons, it's important to keep that in mind. It's okay to fail, it's okay to change your mind, as long as you're working towards something better and hold yourself accountable.

Ultimately, I’m not sure how this blog’s content might shift (not that it has ever been set in stone). Still going to use bullet journals as I can’t manage without one, but beyond that, it’s going to be an evolutionary process. Definitely going to collect a lot more LSAT info, and share some snapshots of that process. 

Most importantly, thank you.

Thank you to anyone who has followed or is just scrolling along, and to all my friends on here, I am so grateful for your support. This community has helped me through a lot. If you have any questions about anything or just want to chat, please shoot me a message or an ask.

lemon, tea, van gogh, lsat