topboston vs topmew

does anyone feel this way too? like, i have a feeling that boston purposely introduced top to mew because he knew top treated everyone as a one-night stand. not more, not less. but when he realised that top might've fallen for mew, boston started panicking because he was top's fuckbuddy for years (?) yet he couldn't make top look at him the way top look at mew. perhaps boston liked top from the get-go and found him super attractive but top said, "i don't roll that way." with no strings attached. no feelings involved. so why on earth top gave mew a chance to be more than a one-night stand?

topboston would definitely be messy because even after top had a relationship with mew, he would still find boston because the physical connection would be so hard to discard and they've bounded their bodies together for so long. it was like coming home. but this wasn't quite a home. it was more like a hotel. top could come and go. and he would 'pay' boston with some good fuck and boston would be satisfied because that was the idea of fuckbuddies, no? then why did it hurt when top treated mew with something close to love?

perhaps, top was more accustomed to boston's body than mew's. knew boston's weak spots even with eyes closed. maybe he would satisfy that wicked pleasure with boston more than mew. probably, mew fulfilled the tender and humane side of top but not the animalistic and lustful part of top. top needed that from boston and he couldn't stop— wouldn't— because boston had always been his thing— person— and no matter how downgrading it sounded, boston would be glad to be just that for top.

yet, it wasn't after he knew top and mew were something else— something boston and top would never become. and that fucked boston up. really badly.

mew was an obstacle. mew was a stealer. mew was everything boston wasn't in top's heart. mew's presence in top's life stopped him from seeking boston. and that would drive boston completely ballsy.

mewray vs topmew

from the mock trailer, we knew ray liked mew. probably for the longest time. and i find it so ironic when mew confidently said, "i know what people feel about me when i look at them," to which ray replied, "then, what do i feel towards you?" it was so ironic because ray liked mew but it's either, 1) mew didn't know or 2) mew knew, but he didn't want to acknowledge it because ray is his best friend and he just couldn't force himself to look at ray with love. the romantic kind.

but then, top came.

top— ray's biggest challenger.

i think ray knew top and boston had a thing going on. and he believed whatever hell boston planned for mew and top would last only for a night because it was what boston wanted, no? boston thought he was just helping mew let loose. four years in university but never slept with anyone? what a loser. mew, you need to get laid! and in boston's eyes, top was the perfect candidate because top would never develop romantic feelings for his one-night partner. top didn't know what love and commitment meant. boston knew better about this.

but mew was different. and top saw that difference. and it lured top to stay— perhaps he thought he could wreck mew from his innocence— definitely would. in one way or another. mew would be so intoxicated by this new emotion— budding love and dependence and infatuation. it won't be easy for mew to stop liking top.

so ray might've turned a blind eye, despite sensing the impending doom. he wouldn't tell mew he knew of boston's scheme because if it could make him a shoulder to cry on for mew, that would be fantastic. closer to mew as an emotional support was better than closer to mew as only friends. ray might seize the opportunity because he knew top would fuck up and boston would never let this slide so it was his chance to show himself to mew— i'm here. i'm always here for you, mew.

ray would try to be everything mew had always wanted and that person wasn't top and yes, mew, i'm here. he would show mew the world where cheating didn't exist and his love for mew was real and growing and never ceasing. but mew would still hope. because mew was stupid and he was so in love and he couldn't shake this fresh feeling of fixation because top (might be) his first in everything. those long nights of making love, hand-holding and cheek kisses, back-hugs and sloppy kisses on the kitchen counter, warm and long hugs after classes end and everything in between— mew couldn't discard top just like that. but once a person twisted his belief in something so precious like this— love— something clicked in mew and it would be the end of his kindness.

mew vs top, ray and boston

what top, boston and ray didn't know was mew would shatter them all. mew would pull them close and whisper to their ears, "you haven't seen the best side of me. i'll destroy you all."

because he loved top but top took his love for granted. because boston was an asshole and the cause of mew's most painful heartbreak. because ray was mew's reliable friend but he, too, saw mew as a subject of pity and mew couldn't— wouldn't— let anyone step on him again.

so mew might plot the most cunning plan ever because he is smart. he could be the cruellest heartbreaker and still have top bowing to his feet, begging to be forgiven— boston losing this battle because who the fuck he thinks he is?— and ray hopelessly hoping for another chance to be his friend.

and when that time comes, i hope mew won't go easy on them.

conclusion

the complexity of topmew > mewray > topboston is so mindboggling that i'm honestly having doubts to watch this drama. it's very confusing because i know the premise of this drama (from the mock trailer) and it's beyond complicated and dark and sinister and dirty and so humane. but i'm still afraid because deep down, i know all six of them will suffer. and i have a problem dealing with people suffering. i just can't find the heart in me to watch them breaking into pieces.

i'm inclining more to mew because i see so much 'innocence' in him that i can't bear knowing these arseholes will take advantage of his untainted idealogy of love to satisfy whatever purpose they have. especially since top (might be) mew's first deeper and more intimate connection, and to know this person that he loves whole-heartedly is fucking— has been fucking— with his best friend for years; i can't imagine the mental and emotional breakdown mew will experience.

yet, i hope, something in him will change and that is, i won't let these motherfuckers use me again. that will be a fantastic character development and i'm beyond elated to see how p'book carries his role as mew.

whatever it is, i hope this drama will show those sides of human complexity, discussing the paths a human will take when their ideas are challenged and their hopes are destroyed, especially when love, envy, anger and vengeance are involved.