#bombshell blonde

“Is that a shiny sneasler?” he said in a tone of fascination. “That is exceptionally rare!”

When he heard his noble whine he knew he hadn’t said what she’d wanted.

“Is… there something else?”

Lady leaned over the edge and motioned wildly down at the other sneasler and the sneasels with her claws giving cries of distress.

Ingo looked again.

“I would not fret too much Lady Sneasler, I do not think any of them pose danger to each other. In fact the sneasels seem to be enjoying themselves.”

Lady flopped her arms over the edge of the cliff with a huff and kicked her legs dejectedly.

Ingo could normally understand her so well! Why was he so thick now? Of all times?!

“I’m… I’m sorry Lady Sneasler I do not think I quite see…” Ingo glanced between the pouting sneasler and down at the sneasels fawning over the shiny pokemon.

Oh. Ohhhhhh. 

He would have to be careful how he went about confirming this.

“Lady Sneasler, are you perhaps…” 

Jealous? No, that was too judgemental. He couldn’t imagine her reacting positively to that.

Insecure? Nope. Nope. That was worse. His noble was a proud creature, and insinuating she was feeling insecure about anything would not go over well.

Concerned? Yes, concern might be worth a try.

“... Are you perhaps feeling… concerned about this other sneaslers presence?”

Sneasler suddenly turned to him and yowled, <Finally! Now you get it!>

Once again she waved down at the group. 

<Those are supposed to be my gifts! ME! I’m the noble! I’m the strongest!>

Lady kicked her feet dejectedly.

<I mean, she doesn’t even look that different! She used to be gray, and yellow with raggedy feathers and claws. All she did was get a bit bigger and change colors around! Oh and you KNOW she still sucks in a fight! She made them fight off a parasect for her! A parasect, Ingo! I was knocking them over with one claw when I was just a hatchling! I mean, even a squishy human like you could beat up a parasect if you had a big enough stick. And wore a mask. And stood upwind of it… And also maybe if it was in a hole.>

Ingo sat listening dutifully. He couldn’t understand a single ‘snea’ of it, but he imagined it wouldn’t have made much difference if he could. Lady, as he had come to privately think of her, clearly needed to vent about this other sneasler. Getting whatever shallow grievances off her chest so they weren’t taking up room in her mind. It was the sort of thing humans did a lot of the time too and he had to assume pokemon likely weren’t immune to such impulsions either.

Ingo already thought he knew what it was hse wanted and was carefully planning his response.

<She’s ruining everything! You have to DO something! You’re my warden. GET RID OF HER.>

With this last outburst, Ingo thought he understood.

“Lady Sneasler,” Ingo began patiently, although avoiding anything that might be considered a patronizing tone, “what has this other sneasler actually done? I mean, that would be actionable?”

Sneasler waved down at the grouping like he was a blind idiot.

“Yes, yes, I can see that they are waiting on her. But you see, Lady,” here he took a breath, “being a noble doesn’t necessarily entail the attention of the other sneasel. At least as far as I know. I’ll admit I’m the outsider here but, well… You don’t want to MAKE them like you, surely.”

<I don’t HAVE to MAKE them like me!> Sneasler now gave the closest sound to a bark Ingo had ever heard from her, <They liked me already! But she's making them think they don’t!>

Ingo ignored this.

“My lady, if you were all in a pack and she had, as it were, dethroned you as the ‘head’ then maybe there might be something I could do. But you and the sneasels are solitary creatures. What favor they shower you with is, as it were, completely voluntary.” Here Ingo paused and then said, “Of course, if she had attacked you or invaded your territory..?”

He glanced at sneasler.

Ingo liked pokemon. In a way he got on better with them than he did with the people of the pearl clan. They all knew he was an outsider of sorts, but for the most part once you got past their instinctual suspicion most pokemon didn’t really care, while he knew for a fact there were still those in the pearl clan who’d have seen him thrown out years ago if Irida and some of the other wardens hadn’t maintained the importance of his position.

He also liked that they didn’t tend to lie. Oh there was cleverness and trickery and that sort of thing, but if you got along with them well enough and asked them a direct question like ‘did this or that happen’ they would communicate the truth. It didn’t seem to occur to them to do otherwise.

That was why he knew he could trust it when Sneasler shook her head.

“So she has not attacked you nor has she moved in on your nest or any part of your territory,” Ingo sighed, “Lady, you know I would do anything for you but I can not go out with the others and, well, assault other pokemon on your behalf. It would make you look like some sort of dictator.”

And it could do harm to the pearl clans' doings in the highlands, was something he didn’t say. 

If he, a human wearing the pearl clan insignia, attacked every pokemon who even slightly got on Lady Sneaslers nerves, then there would be retribution. His lady was far too strong for retribution to be directed her way, but unattended humans or pokemon collecting ingredients amongst the cliffs would be a different story. However, he didn’t think it tactful to bring it up in the current conversation. He didn’t want to imply to sneasler that he thought her lacking in any way.

“Besides, if I attacked her you know the other sneasels might come to her aid, taken with her as they are at the moment. I do not wish to harm them, and I don’t believe you want me to either.”

Sneasler gave a low mumble which Ingo, accurately, interpreted as an unwilling agreement.

That was good at least. Despite her own feelings on the matter it was a comfort to know Sneasler had not completely forgotten her priorities.

“I am certain once the novelty has worn off, they will come back to you my lady.” Ingo explained. “This is a fad, nothing more.”

Sneasler glared down at the other sneasler. Then she glared at Ingo. Then at the sky.

Then with a cry of frustration she threw her arms in the air.

<You just don’t understand!> She then marched to the edge of the opposite cliff and moved to descend.

A look of panic appeared on his face.

“Ah, lady, I am not yet prepared to depart!”

She ignored him as she began going over the edge.

“M-My lady, I am not in the basket! You are going down the cliff without me in the basket!”

By the time Ingo reached the edge she was already a couple of feet down, and seemed to be ignoring his cries. Evidently his tactful phrasing had not been tactful enough. Sneasler was displeased with him and was no, evidently, getting back at him.

“I know you are upset, but this is not a way for a noble lady to behave!” Ingo called down to his noble as she reached the bottom of the cliff and swaggered away.

Oh he wouldn’t die up here. There were no predators, the wind wasn’t strong enough to knock him off, and there were even a few edible plants here and there. Still, being messed with like this was upsetting.

Ingo sighed.

He had made her upset with him. Well, not, not with him. She was more likely to be upset by the situation more likely than not, and taking it out on Ingo in this petty way probably just made her feel better.

Even if he didn’t have gliscor with him to help ease him down the various cliffs to the bottom, he wouldn’t be stuck up here for too long. Lady Sneasler would come back for him. If only to make sure he’d ‘learned his lesson’.

In many ways, Lady Sneasler was still very young.

Oh well, he thought. This will come to pass I am sure.