#bogummies

don't forget that drama with kim hee sun and kim sun ah!!!

They were 14 and in middle school. A rumor was going around that Sun Woo had been kissed by a girl in the alley next to school. The Ssangmundong kids were dying to know if it was true, but Sun Woo was nowhere to be found. But instead of actually putting much effort into finding him, the kids went back to Taek’s house and speculated about their missing friend.

“I don’t think it’s true” said Duk Seon, “There’s no way he wouldn’t have told us himself”

“Yeah, because we’re the people he’d think of while kissing someone,” Jung Hwan retorted.

“I agree with Duk Seon,” Taek said quietly, which earned him a look of betrayal from Jung Hwan and a smile from Duk Seon.

“Are we supposed to tell each other these things then?” Dong Ryong asked.

“Of course we are!” Duk Seon replied, “We’re best friends.”

“Yeah, but this is different,” Jung Hwan said.

“No it’s not,” Duk Seon insisted, “I would have told you if it had been me.”

At this, Dong Ryong stifled a laugh. If Taek hadn’t been looking right at him, he would have missed it. But Taek had been looking right at him and unfortunately, so had Duk Seon.

“What?” she demanded. Dong Ryong tried for a moment to play innocent, but there was no deterring Duk Seon once she set her mind on something. All it took for Dong Ryong to spill was threatening physical violence, and Taek couldn’t blame him.

“You’ve never been kissed?” Dong Ryong snickered.

“You have?” she replied. Taek couldn’t tell if she was more betrayed or embarrassed by this revelation, “Who else knows this?

Taek decided his best course of action was to lie, or else invoke Duk Seon’s wrath. He also decided to lie when she asked if anyone had been kissed and kept it hidden. Jung Hwan decided to tell the truth both times and was rewarded with a hard smack from Duk Seon before she stormed out.

“Gah, what a temper,” Jung Hwan said as he rubbed his wounded head.

“Your fault for admitting to it. You should have lied like Taek,” Dong Ryong laughed.

“You lied?” Jung Hwan said in disbelief, “Wow, I get hiding it from Duk Seon, but I thought we were friends.”

“It didn’t even count,” Taek said, “It was just some girl after a baduk match, I don’t even like her.”

“Wow,” Jung Hwan replied. Taek thought he sounded impressed, but he honestly didn’t care. It had only been about a week ago and it was only a little peck and she had run away before Taek even comprehended what was happening. In the hours that followed, all Taek could think about was that her lips were cold and still. And he hadn’t meant to, but he’d thought about Duk Seon in that moment, and what kissing her would be like. He thought she would be warm where this girl was cold, and he would smile into the kiss instead of freezing up.

If Taek was being honest with himself, he hadn’t really thought about anything except kissing Duk Seon for about a week. But of course, Taek definitely didn’t like Duk Seon like that. He was just curious about kissing and she was his closest female friend. It didn’t mean anything, and he definitely wasn’t going to tell Dong Ryong or Jung Hwan about it, he got made fun of enough already he didn’t need this.

All the moments he’d been unable to look anywhere other than her lips would pass. Besides, they’d probably tell Duk Seon and what would he do then. No, he couldn’t tell anyone about his passing, and he definitely wouldn’t tell them how he was sort of relieved she’d never been kissed.

           They were 18. Taek had already fully committed his life to baduk and the others were in their last of high school, and it seemed like it was only Duk Seon without a clear path. Taek had always known she wasn’t as academically successful as the others, but he’d never seen her so bothered by it. Even more troubling was that she wasn’t talking about it. Duk Seon had never been shy about sharing her problems, especially with Taek. But she had been almost completely silent for weeks now and Taek was worried. When he tried to breach the subject with any of the others they said he was just overreacting and Duk Seon would pass at the last minute just like she always did. Thankfully they never actually said any of this in front of her, but their dismissal still made Taek’s blood boil.

           Taek had never been truly angry at the Ssangmundong boys until now. Duk Seon was almost never with them these days, she was studying so much. The few times Taek had seen her the past few weeks, she’d looked like a zombie. And Taek wouldn’t tell the others this, but in a rare moment with her parents, Mr. Sung had admitted that he was worried about her. Since the death of Duk Seon’s grandmother, Mr. Sung and Taek had developed an odd bond about losing their mothers. So when Mr. Sung said Duk Seon was barely eating or sleeping and wouldn’t look them in the eyes anymore, Taek knew it had to stay between the two of them despite how unbothered their other friends seemed to be.

           Taek was about to breach the subject with them again when he saw her. For the first time in a week, there was Duk Seon sitting on the stairs. So close to where they had first met and where they shared their first hug. There she was sitting, gently shaking with her head in her hands. Was she crying?

           Taek took a quick look around the street before approaching her, “Duk Seon?” he asked gently. Taek barely caught the tears on her cheeks as she lifted her head before she quickly wiped them away, “Are you alright?”

           “I’m fine,” she lied as she stood up, but her tears continued to silently flow, “Are you okay? You look so tired these days.”

           Taek decided not to point out the irony in that and instead took another step closer to her, “Taek?” and then he was leaning on her shoulder, like he had after his last baduk loss. Only this time, he was trying to comfort her by letting her comfort him.

           After a long moment, Taek pulled away, “Wanna talk about it?”

           Duk Seon didn’t say anything but quietly sat back down on the steps and didn’t protest when Taek sat beside her, “Did you lose a match?” Duk Seon asked.

           “No,” he replied.

           “Then why did you do that?”

           “Because I wanted to,” Taek admitted, “And because it looked like you needed it.”

           Taek saw her crack a small smile out of the corner of his eye, “I can’t keep anything from you, can I?”

           “You tried,” he said.

           “Yeah, I tried,” she deadpanned. Taek didn’t say anything, only waited for her to talk, “I’m not going to be able to get into college.”

           Taek didn’t know what to say. He knew her grades weren’t great, but she was passing. He didn’t know much about school, but shouldn’t she be able to continue as long as she passed? “Are you sure?”

           “I had my parent teacher conference today,” she continued, “And that’s what she said.”

           “Well what about next year. You can keep taking the entrance exams, right?”

           “Yeah, but that’s not the point,” she said, “I should have been able to do it this year.”

           “Duk Seon-”

           “I’m just so embarrassed. My mom looked so ashamed,” Taek could see her crying again, “And what will the others think of me. I know I’m not as smart as the rest of you, but I never really thought I was stupid.”

           “You’re not stupid, Duk Seon.”

           “Taek,” she sighed, “I know you don’t know how this works, but I’m ranked 999th in my class. Smart people don’t get ranked like that.”

           “Okay, so you’re not good at school,” Taek admitted, “That doesn’t mean you’re not good at other things.”

           “Of course you can say that. I can’t fall back on my baduk skills because I failed math.” Duk Seon replied, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

           “It’s true.”

           “Yeah, but baduk is a valid skill. I have nothing.”

           “Duk Seon,” Taek began carefully, “You always tell me that it’s okay to fail. Why is it not okay for you to fail?”

           “Because you’ll always get another baduk match” she explained, “this is my life, Taek. I don’t get another chance.”

           Taek didn’t know what else to say. Duk Seon seemed to be in a mood where she couldn’t be comforted. He had reacting this way the first few tournaments he had lost and no matter how many times Duk Seon said loses happen, he still felt like a failure. And she was right, this wasn’t a baduk match, but Taek still knew she’d be okay.

           “Don’t look at me like that,” Duk Seon said.

           “Like what?”

           “Like you’re still proud of me even when I’m like this.”

           “I am proud of you,” Taek replied, “I’m always proud of you.”

           At that, Duk Seon cracked a full smile and Taek was once again reminded of how happy her happiness made him, “You’re so cheesy,” she said through a giggle. And just to ensure his heart exploding, Duk Seon grabbed his hand and leaned up against him. She was so close to him, and for a moment Taek forgot what he was there to do. Their palms rubbing together only made him think about how much he wanted to wipe away her tears and kiss her.

           “What would I do without you, Taek?” she asked. That sealed the deal. Taek had to kiss her now. He brushed a piece of hair off her face and leaned down, trying to plant a kiss on her forehead and then maybe…

           “Taek!” a voice called out from down the street. His dad. Duk Seon sat up and unwove their fingers.

           “It’s late you should go,” Duk Seon said. Taek wanted to protest, but she was already halfway to her house before Taek couldn’t make himself speak again. He walked back to his house in a daze, his mind still flooded with her scent. He barely ate dinner, and instead thought about how he was ever going to able to confess his feelings to her.

            They were 24, sitting in his car outside of her house. She was fresh off a flight and he had just finished a ten hour baduk game. He was exhausted from both the match and having this fight for the hundredth time. Duk Seon always made better points on why not the tell people they were dating, but Taek could never agree with her. He didn’t understand why any of those reasons mattered. He loved her and he didn’t care who knew. Besides, they were only breaking the law on a technicality. Taek wasn’t even related to Sun Woo, and he was getting more and more frustrated at something so stupid keeping them apart.

           “Taek, you’re not listening to me,” Duk Seon snapped.        

           “No, I’m not” he admitted, “Duk Seon… this is going to come out eventually. Wouldn’t you rather have it be our choice when it does?”

           “The press has been saying the same things about us for years, no one will believe it now.”            

           Taek sighed and closed his eyes. He had a raging headache and he didn’t want to waste their precious time together arguing.

          “Just a little while longer, Taek,” she said, “Just until the Sun Woo and Bo Ra situation cools down a little. Then we can tell my parents and everyone else. I want this out in the open as much as you do, but it’s too complicated right now.”

           “Fine,” Taek said, more out of exhaustion than actual agreement. His head was threatening to split open and she had to leave tomorrow, he didn’t want her to leave angry.

           “I’ll give you a reward then,” Duk Seon said, a mischievous grin on her face. Taek waited quietly in anticipation as she leaned in close to him, “I love you,” she whispered

Also Hans seems to be the most knowledgeable eskild in lgbtq+ issues. I’m still mad about that “they never leave their girlfriends” scene where he could’ve said that maybe even is bi/pan (but that’s just me lol). Also the whole thing about s2 and s3 makes a lot of sense too.                            

yeah i always found that extremely ...flippant of eskild tbh which you know he just always was but that was probably super subjective advice and yeah totally ignores bi people but also i get why he said that with what isak told him about even (can u tell i’m conflicted about the scene? lmao)

For me it looks like ken (or max steel) is dating polly pocket

1. banana: favorite horror movies?

28 days later! but i’m not a fan of horror movies in general cause i’m a scaredy cat. i watched the ring with my sister once and we slept with the lights on for 3 days

2. papaya: what song describes your aesthetic?

he was great in reply 88, and i get it was too long, but it had to be. (i’m biased tho hahahahahha)