#bobbyspader

saint dane's plan on first earth was entirely tailored around bobby and spader (spader to a lesser extent) and actually had little to do with the territory itself, unlike previous and later books. even though the travelers technically win on first earth, saint dane still succeeds in messing with bobby's head- and messing with bobby and spader's relationship. saint dane's plan exacerbates an already present point of contention in their relationship, which very simply put is that spader is straightforward to a fault where bobby is thoughtful to a fault, and it almost costs them everything on first earth.

what makes this so sad to me is that bobby wants, desperately, to be able to work through their arguments but he can't. not while he's fighting a war. bobby cares for spader a lot and it hurts him deeply that he doesn't have the time or energy to dedicate towards having a healthy friendship with him; that's why it's so hard for him to send spader home. and for me, i think it's so tragic to consider how the war brought them together and yet so quickly tore them apart.

- in book 2 when bobby literally fell into spader's lap (and spader goes "thanks for dropping in mate")

- when spader tells bobby "nothing's gonna happen to you so long as i'm around"

- them just having a gay old time on cloral swimming around and eating fish for weeks

- them just having a gay old time on first earth going on movie dates and playing basketball for 2 months