So I just realized I haven't updated the My Writing page since I was struck with the MacRoIves Plague and figured I might as well do a super-belated Year End Review. 230k words about these dorks as they continue to be my emotional support freaks.
3 stories were added to Lovers verse, officially ending the series
4 stories were added to the Arkverse mainline saga (and 2 additional side stories)
And a few new stories/verses to diversify these niche pairings
"Don't Feed the Wildlife": Hierophant begins a fresh start in the UK, immediately crushing on Father MacAvoy. Also a deer keeps showing up in her backyard.
"Ravenous II: The Ravening": Medium!Hiero and her crew investigate Fort Spencer, incurring the wrath of Ghost!Ives.
"All the Devils Are Here": Captain Ives is sentenced to Fort Spencer where, soon after his arrival, a priest begs him and his garrison to save the female survivor of an ill-fated wagon party.
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I don't know what happened, my brain got transported to a decade ago or something, I'm just happy to be writing again. Here's AO3 links for all of the brainrot that's been occurring over there if anyone's interested. Please note most contain canon typical violence, gore, crude language, and is significantly horny.
HieroxIves
Thy Fearful Symmetry: Follow-up to "Tyger Tyger" where Hiero prepares for her new life as a wendigo.
Along for the Ride: Just a traveling cannibal picking up a serial killing hitchhiker and the two of them falling in love like weirdos.
Tournament 1989: The Tournament AU with Hiero as a contestant and Ives as a sponsor.
The Wendigo Versus the Rugaroux: Union soldier meets Confederate widow and finds they share a similar...appetite.
MacAvoyxIves (MacIves?)
Someone Brave Coursing Through Your Veins: MacAvoy as Colqhoun basically.
MacRoIves (MacAvoyxHieroxIves)
Eden's Ark series: Joseph tries to start a new life in the states to forget his trauma from The Tournament. Unfortunately he chooses to volunteer at an animal shelter run by cannibals.
Hierophant and the Lovers series: Ives is forced to work for The Factory because of his husband; at least his coworker Hiero makes it bearable.
Hair of the Dog: Witchy Hiero agrees to help Father MacAvoy with his vampire problem.
Friends, can I get a roll call of writers and artists in the Bobby Squared fandom? Those who have, or would like to, or who would be willing to contribute art, fic, etc to the fandom?
Consider colonial-era!Rush being a scientist travelling to America to study new and interesting things (animals, plants, astronomy, I dunno?) and meeting a mysterious man who seems to be running away from his past.
Consider Rush finding out what Plunkettâs wife died of and having to shut it face because he knows a treatment/cure that maybe could have saved her.
Or, alternatively, consider space-age!Plunkett, a charming roguish scientist with a darker past than even Rush, getting trapped on the Destiny with the rest of the crew.
The devil just entered my body. What if one of Cemolina's punters was Begbie's dad? What if he got her pregnant? Yeah, my brain went to the accidental incest place.
I thought you were saying to make Cemolina Begbieâs mom and I was like, âBut, what about Val?â And then is occurred to me what you meant and OMG. Barnebie being paternal half-brothers might just be the wackiest shit ever and I love it.
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Okay, but Cemolina acting like Begbie is the son she never had (and always wanted), and Begbie getting really super uncomfortable at the way she acts towards him and Barney being really sad/jealous because mommy has a new favorite, and Begbie eventually laying it down for Cemolina that she needs to appreciate the son she has (in a very round-about and sort of unintentional way, because itâs Begbie).
@anonymousnerdgirl @pvnkle And anyone else who needs more Barney in their life.
A Different Fucking Morality (Part 10) - Fucked Up
Pairing: Danny Devine/Francis Begbie (Dead Fish - Trainspotting)
A Different Fucking Morality âverse
Rated R, for language, gore, violence, drug abuse, Begbie, Danny, more language. Triggers for violence, drugs, and um... abuse, maybe? I guess just to be safe.
Another chapter appears on your dash! What will you do?!
Also... A wild Belle appears! Woops! Sorry, not sorry!!
This got way longer than expected and actually is only aobut half of what was planned for this part, soooo... Iâll be pushing everything back a chapter. Huzzah?
Previous Part
â-
When Danny awoke again, Begbie was gone. A glance at the bedside clock told him it was 10:00 in the morning. It had been several hours sinceâŚ. A heavy sigh escaped him. Since they had fucked. Since they had looked into each otherâs eyes and come. Since, and Danny winced to think of it, but it was what it was: since they had made love. It seemed perverse to think of anything between himself and the raging psychopath as loving, but that was the best fucking way Danny knew to describe it. For all their fucked up months together, all the rage and fury, all the shouting and violence, he and Franco had, for the first time this morning, made love.
Danny had quickly fallen back asleep, exhausted for having spent much of the night awake, fretting and thinking. He had fallen back on his pillows and closed his eyes, warm from his head to the tips of his toes, and oblivious to whatever Franco would do. Now, awake and alone in this sacred spot, Danny felt cold and very alone.
Dread filled him as he looked around. All of Begbieâs clothes were gone. There was no sign that the man had ever been there. Except for the ring on Dannyâs fourth finger. ExceptâŚ. The door of his bedroom was ajar and light flooded through it from the large windows in the living room. Dannyâs eyes narrowed as he watched shadows play across the door frame. Was someone moving around in the other room? Or was it only the shadows of clouds passing?
A cough came from the other room, which immediately answered Dannyâs pondering. It was a short, abrupt sound, like someone clearing their throat. Relief flooded Danny, only partially washing away the dread that permeated his mind. At least Franco was still here. He had distanced himself, but only as far as the next room.
Danny got up and stretched, feeling the ache of muscles that he hadnât felt in weeks. It felt fucking amazing and he shivered as the dull pain throbbed through his thighs and his calves and his lower back. How he had fucking missed waking up to feel the aftermath of a night of being vigorously fucked.
Heading into the bathroom off his suite, he shut the door, leaving it open just a crack. A closed door meant a closed invitation and Danny wanted to leave it open on the off chance Begbie heard him and decided to join. He attended to the necessaries first, before running the shower and jumping in. The water was frigidly cold against his aching muscles and heated skin. He adjusted the temperature slightly, but only enough to bring the water to just below room temperature. He wanted to cool off. He felt feverish, though it was probably only excitement and nerves.
Begbie did not join him, so he made it a quick shower, scrubbing himself clean all over and shampooing his hair. He didnât want to get out to find Begbie had already left, scared off by the sounds of Dannyâs wakefulness. When he was done, he shut the water off and toweled dry before going back into the bedroom and throwing on a pair of pants and his emerald green suit trousers. More coughing from the living room, this time a loud hacking fit that lasted several moments. He left himself shirtless and hurried out into the other room.
There he was, perched on the edge of Dannyâs sofa. There were a few bottles lying around the glass coffee table. At 10-fucking-a.m.? Danny thought, incredulous. Franco seemed unsteady on his seat. He was hunched over the table, weaving back and forth a bit. Then Danny heard it. A quiet, methodical clicking noise against the glass top. His heart sunk.
âFranco,â he said, urgent to draw Begbieâs attention away from what he was doing. All he got in reply was a ugly snorting noise as Begbie bent low over the table and sucked a line of the putrid drug into his nostril. He leaned back in the plushness of the sofa, seeming to melt into the leather as the cocaine went to his brain. Danny heard him groan quietly as he came around to the front of the sofa to see the damage.
âFucking Christ!â he exclaimed. There as a large packet of cocaine sitting on the table, along with several empty bottles of lager. How many had he had already? Eight? Nine? Danny shook his head. By the looks of it, that had not be the first line of coke to be taken in either. Begbieâs nostrils and moustache were stained grey-ish with the white powder, and Danny himself could smell it on the air.
âWhat the fuck are you fuckinâ doing, Frank?â Danny shouted. He couldnât help himself. This morning may have been the most important fucking moment of both of their fucking lives, and here was Begbie trying to drown it away in a sea of booze and cocaine.
âFUCK AFF, YA OUGLY CUNT,â Begbie snapped. His eyes were closed, his head resting on the back of the sofa, but an expression of anger still passed over his face. Danny reached down, grabbing a number of the bottles off of the table and carrying them to the kitchen. When he returned, Franco was leaning forward again, his blade cutting another long line of powder to be inhaled.
âFRANCO, STOP!â Dannyâs voice was almost a scream now, his pitch higher than he liked. He ran forward, trying to reach for Begbieâs arm to stop him before he could suck the vile shite into his body. He was too late. The line of coke disappeared through the straw in Begbieâs hand. Nearly immediately, Begbieâs chest was wracked with another violent fit of coughing. âFRANCO!â He knelt beside the other man on the sofa, placing a hand on his back, trying to support the force of the hacking. Begbie shoved him off, and Danny was pushed to the floor. He cracked his elbow on the corner of the coffee table, but it didnât matter. Begbie once again had his blade in his hand and was pouring more of the powder from the little plastic pouch.
âNO, FRANCO. STOP!â Danny reached for the hand in which the blade rested, stupidly, not thinking about the consequences. His only thought was that Begbie was going to kill himself. Right here and right now, the man was self-destructing. And it was all Dannyâs fault. He had brought Begbie to this point. With his selfishness last night, and his selfishness all those weeks ago, he had brought Begbie to the point of wanting to feel so numb it would stop his brain.
His hand went over Francoâs on the hilt of the knife. Begbie jerked it away from him, dragging the sharp edge of the blade across the pads of Dannyâs fingers. He gasped from the pain and looked down at his hand. The contaminated blade had left traces of the drug on him, and the cuts were deep. Already blood was dripping to the floor.
âFUCK!â Danny shouted, leaping to his feet. Franco, too, was on his feet, holding the blade out in front of him like he expected an attack. His eyes were wild, large, and bloodshot. His nose....
âFranco, yer nose,â Danny said, his tone just as critical, but his voice softer now. âYer fuckinâ nose is bleeding.â It wasnât just Dannyâs blood staining the carpet of his flat. A heavy stream jetted from Francoâs left nostril, matting with the hair of his moustache before dripping over his mouth, his chin, and rolling down the jumper he wore. Begbie lifted the hand not brandishing the knife in front of him and wiped at his moustache, interrupting the flow for a second. He looked at his hand, his gaze unfocused. Then he looked back up at Danny and his face contorted in pure hatred and fury.
Begbie lunged at Danny. Danny, taken by surprise, tried to take a step back, but Begbie caught him. He was slammed up against the over-sized window and heard it creak under the strain. Franco had one sweating head around his throat, holding him in place. The other held his blade level with Dannyâs eyes. For the first time since meeting the sociopath, Danny was truly terrified. The man had lost his mind. He clawed at Begbieâs wrist and the hand on his neck, trying to catch his breath. Begbie was choking him. He couldnât fucking breathe! His cut hand smeared his own blood over Francoâs hand, mixing with the blood he had wiped from his nose. Blood was still pouring from the manâs face. Danny felt dizzy, unsure it that was from the cocaine in his bloodstream from the cut on his hand or from the lack of oxygen.
âFranco,â he gasped, struggling to pull in enough air to form words. âFranco, please.â He tried to pull Begbieâs hand away again, but the other man was much stronger than he. His plea only seemed to irritate Begbie further.
âSHUT YER FUCKING MOOTH, YA DISGOOSTIN FAGGOT SCUM!â Begbie screamed. Spittle tinged with blood flew from his mouth, spraying Dannyâs face. âAHâM GAUNNAE FUCKING KILL YA, DEVINE! AHâM NO GAUNNAE PLAY THIS FUCKING NAE MAIR!â He brought the point of the knife very close to Dannyâs face and Danny closed his eyes immediately. Not that it would fucking help, but at least he wouldnât see it coming. âAHâM NO GAUNNAE BE YER FUCKING PLAYTHING NAE MAIR!â
Danny tried shaking his head, tried to speak up, but Begbieâs hand only tightened about his throat, cutting off his air supply completely. He choked, dragging his nails across Begbieâs skin to get him to release him. He was going to die. Heâd taken it too fucking far this time, and he was going to fucking die. The man he loved, the fucking psycho lunatic that he had fallen completely in love with, was going to murder him.
âYOU FUCKING DAED THIS TO US!â Begbie was screaming. âYOU FUCKING MADE US THIS WAY!â
Maybe Danny fucking deserved it, he thought. Maybe it was fair fucking payment for the hell heâd put the other man through. Maybe, but no. NO! He wasnât innocent, but he hadnât fucking forced Begbie to do a thing. Everything, well, almost everything, the other man had done had been his own fucking choice. Danny didnât fucking deserve to be fucking stuck with a knife like a pig. His eyes flew open, ready to make his last stand.
He never got that far. There was a gurgling noise from Begbie as white foam began pouring from his mouth. His eyes went unfocused, unseeing and his whole frame went rigid. In the long moment before Begbie collapsed, Danny wondered if the man was rabid. Then Franco fell backwards, his head smashing into the glass coffee table. The glass shattered, sending shards everywhere. Begbie was convulsing violent amidst the broken glass. The shards ripped through his jumper and through his skin, more blood pouring from his body.
âFUCK!â Danny exclaimed, his voice hoarse from his recent strangulation. He rushed for his mobile on the bedside table and ran back to collapse at Begbieâs side. The foamy saliva trickled down the side of Begbieâs mouth, stained pink with blood. He made an awful choking noise as if the foam was filling his air ways. His eyes were rolled back in his head and all Danny could see were the whites of his eyes. His whole body was rigid, bucking and twitching obscenely.
Danny tried to prop the man up on his side to keep him from aspirating. He didnât know much about medical emergencies, but heâd fucking learned that when he was a child. He flipped open his phone, his fingers shaking as he tried to dial. 9. 9. 9.
âPlease donât fuckinâ die on me,â he pleaded desperately just before the operator answered.
âHello, emergency service operator. What is the nature of your emergency?â a woman asked.
âI need a fuckinâ ambulance,â Danny replied urgently. His hands were shaking, his head swimming. Then, without really thinking about his words, he added, âMy boyfriendâs collapsed. I think heâs fuckinâ ODâd.â
---
Dannyâs breaths were still coming fast as he sat in the waiting room of the hospital for news on Franco. He had been sent into an exam room shortly after they had taken Begbie back. They had asked him what seemed like a thousand questions. Who was he? What was his relation to Begbie? What substances had he used and how much? Danny had told him all that he could. His head was spinning and his heart racing. He felt ill. His throat ached and his hand was killing him.
He told them, not in great detail, what had happened. Told them about the cut on his hand with a contaminated blade. He told them that Begbie had gone insane, tried to strangle him, before collapsing. A nurse looked at his hand, Â and they cleaned it, stitched it up, and sent him back into the waiting room with a heavy bandage wrapped around it.
It felt like hours before they came out to talk to him again. It was a woman, a young doctor. Danny couldnât help but notice that she was very pretty, her long auburn hair swept into a loose ponytail and a round-cheeked youthful face. And she looked very kind. She offered him a small smile as she approached. That had to be a good sign, Danny thought, his mind spinning less now that the adrenaline and whatever cocaine had gotten into his system had begun to wear off. She held out her hand to him, that little smile still in place.
âMr. Devine?â she asked. Danny could only manage a frantic nod. His throat felt tight, like he couldnât speak even if he tried. âIâm Dr. French,â she said shaking his hand as he extended it slowly. âIâm the overseeing physician for Mr. Begbie.â Danny nodded again, wishing she would just fucking get to the point. âFirst, let me just say that your boyfriend is going to be okay.â Danny balked at the word âboyfriendâ. Franco would kill him if he knew he had let that little bit slip out, even if it had been in the panic of calling a paramedic.
âHeâs not⌠not my fuckinâ boyfriend,â he said, correcting her automatically. âHeâs justâŚ.â He trailed off, unsure what to say or call their relationship. He had told the paramedics when they first arrived that he was Begbieâs boyfriend. He had told the nurses who had asked him all those questions when they arrived so, too. For some reason, now that the excitement had died down, it felt wrong to say it when he knew Begbie would be furious. âHeâs just fuckinâ Begbie,â he finished, lamely.
Dr. Frenchâs smile turned into one of sympathy, like she somehow knew what was going through his mind. How could she fucking know, the fucking bint? How could anybody fucking know? She reached out and rested a gentle hand on his shoulder, a gesture no doubt meant to reassure him. He shrugged her off.
âDonât fuckinâ touch me,â he snapped, without really thinking. Fucking Christ, he was turning into Begbie. The pretty doctor withdrew her hand, brow furrowed slightly.
âIâm sorry,â she told him, and her tone felt honest to Danny. He immediately regretted snapping at her. âI know this is hard. Your⌠Um, Mr. Begbie is going to have a hard recovery ahead of him. He had a severe overdose of cocaine, which was exacerbated by the amount of alcohol he had also consumed.â Danny nodded, looking down at his shoes.
âBut heâll be okay?â he asked. He looked up at her, searching her face for the truth. She gave him a smile and a nod.
âYes. He will be okay. Eventually.â She motioned for him to follow her and he did. âHe is going to need to stop using, though, and that is going to be the hardest part. For both of you. He is going to need your help, Iâm afraid. And detox is never easy for those closest to the victim.â She led him through several sets of double doors and down a long hallway. âHe is stable now, but he had complete grand mal seizure, the collapse you witnessed in your flat. When the paramedics brought him in, he was severely tachycardic. The strain on his heart was very great, and he did require electrical defibrillation to prevent cardiac arrest.â They passed under a sign for the ICU and came to a smaller door that Danny could tell led into an patient room. Dr. French turned to face him, her expression reassuring. âHe also sustained a concussion from the fall as well as many minor to moderate lacerations from the broken glass.â Danny took a deep breath to steady himself and reached for the door handle. The doctor reached out to stay his hand.
âHeâs not awake yet, and you need to be ready for the state he is in. Heâs got IV catheters hooked up to medications and fluids, a breathing tube, a pacemaker in case we need to regulate his heartbeat again, monitoring equipment. We had to stitch him up in several places and weâve placed a bandage over the wound on his head. Just be ready. I know itâs not often an easy sight to see.â She released his hand and Danny opened the door and stepped into the room.
The room was painted an awful salmon pink color, with floral curtains over the window. In the center was a single bed and around the edges of the room were chairs, a desk, a chest of drawers, and a television. Dannyâs gaze though focused only on the man in the bed.
Several machines were beeping loudly, blinking at him. The doctor followed him in and went over to the machines to check the readings. A nurse came in as well to change out Begbieâs IV bags. Danny just stood there, dumbfounded.
All manner of tubes and wires seemed to be attached to his lover. His mouth was gaping, the breathing tube the doctor had mentioned running to the oxygen machine whirring beside him. It was so wrong. He looked so fucking peaceful and so⌠wrong. Danny wanted to get closer, to touch the other man to make sure that he was real, but he couldnât move. Dr. French seemed to notice his distress.
âHe should be waking up soon,â she said, coming back over to stand beside him. âAs soon as we know he can breath on his own, we can take the endotracheal tube out. We have him on medications to keep him stable while he detoxes. Unregulated withdrawal would be a stress to his system that his heart canât handle right now.â Danny snapped his head around to look at her, his eyes narrowed.
âYeâre detoxing him now? Here?!â he asked. What a fucking stupid idea. As if the man wasnât going to angry as it was, and Danny was supposed to fucking tell him that he had to go off the ching. For fuckâs sake!
âWe donât have a choice, Mr. Devine. This is what we need to do.â She motioned for him to step closer to the bed and he did, but only a few feet. âHe will be sedated as well, to keep him calm--â
âFuckinâ calm-ER,â Danny muttered. She smiled.
âCalm-er,â she agreed. âWe need to reduce the stress to him when he wakes up, whatever you can do to help with that.â I can fucking leave, Danny thought bitterly. Heâs not going to want to see me of all fucking people. He didnât reply out loud, though, only nodded.
âAre you okay?â she asked next. He wasnât sure if she was inquiring about his physical well being or his mental. Danny shrugged. What fucking business was it of hers? He wasnât her fucking patient.
âJust a bit fuckinâ banged up is all,â was all he said. His gaze was drawn back to the bed as Begbie began to stir. Fucking fantastic. The nurse who had changed his IV came to the side of the bed and glanced at the doctor. Dr. French nodded to her and the nurse placed a hand on Begbieâs shoulder.
âDonât fuckinâ touch him,â Danny snapped, rushing to the opposite side of the bed.
âMr. Devine!â Dr. French exclaimed. The nurse withdrew her hand as if she had been burned. Danny ignored the pretty woman behind him, glaring at the nurse.
âIf you want him to wake up calmly, donât fuckinâ touch him,â he explained. Behind him, he heard Dr. French give a noise of understanding. The machines were beginning to beep faster now. Begbieâs heart rate was increasing.
âMr. Begbie,â the nurse said softly. Begbieâs head turned slightly in her direction. Danny could see his eyes beginning to move under his closed lids. âMr. Begbie. Youâre in hospital and you have a breathing tube in. You need to remain calm, and we can remove the tube as soon as you are awake enough to breath on your own.â Begbieâs eyes snapped open and they were wide with alarm. He tried to sit up, but couldnât quite find the strength yet. The muscles in his neck were hard as iron, bulging under his skin. âMr. Begbie, please remain calm,â the nurse said again. She placed a hand on the manâs chest to hold him down.
âNO!â Danny shouted. She pushed the nurse back from across the bed, throwing her arm off the other man before someone got hurt. Then he turned to Begbie.
âFranco?â he said, just loudly enough for Begbieâs drug-addled mind to hear him. âFranco, calm the fuck down. Yeâre in hospital, okay? You fuckinâ overdosed, you stupid fuckinâ loser. They can take the fuckinâ tube out of your throat in a minute, just fuckinâ calm down.â Begbie turned his head to look at Danny, his eyes narrowed with fury. His mouth moved like he was trying to say something, but he couldnât speak with the tube in.
âI know Iâm the last fucker you wanna fuckinâ see, Franco. Believe me. But⌠you almost fuckinâ died. And Iâm not going fuckinâ anywhere until I know yeâre fuckinâ alright.â He saw Francoâs neck relax and saw him swallow once or twice. The nurse saw it too and she tentatively stepped forward, keeping a close eye on Danny.
âMr. Begbie, Iâm going to take your breathing tube out now.â She unhooked the tube from the strap holding it in place, moving slowly as if she expect something to jump up and bite her. Danny didnât really blame her. âIf you could just cough for me, Mr. Begbie. And again. Good.â And the tube was out.
Begbie licked his lips and swallowed a few more times. He motioned for the jug sitting on the dresser which had been filled with water. âGie us a fucking drink, ya cunt,â he whispered, his voice hoarse and not his own. Danny hurried to the dresser and filled a small plastic cup with the cool water. He brought it back to the bed and Begbie took it in his left hand, wires and IVs trailed behind it. Begbie winced as he lifted the cup to his lips and Danny wondered if it was from the cuts caused by the glass table or aching from the seizure.
âSlow sips,â the doctor warned, but Danny knew Begbie wouldnât obey her. He chugged the water down and as he lowered the cup, he chucked it at Dannyâs face. The flimsy plastic cup bounced harmlessly of of Dannyâs forehead and Danny gaped at the man, shocked.
âGIT THE FUCK OOT AY MAH SIGHT, YA FUCKING BUFTIE!â Begbie screamed at him. His voice was very hoarse and he couldnât tell Begbie could get the volume that he really wanted. Danny took a step back, shocked. The nurse leapt away from the bed, startled by the sudden outburst. The doctor ran forward.
âIncreasing lorazepam dose to 3 milligrams per kilogram,â she told the nurse. Begbie was reaching for Danny, trying to leap out of the bed. The wires and tubes tethering him to the bed were straining under the tension.
âYOU FUCKING DAED THIS TO US, YA FUCKING POOF. YA FUCKING DISGOOSTIN FAGGOT.â Danny was frozen in place for a moment, his brain trying to catch up with everything that was going on. He felt fucking light-headed. He felt numb. And then his mind caught up and he felt fucking furious. He puffed himself up, larger than fucking life, and began to rip into the stupid man.
âI FUCKINâ DID THIS, DID I?!â he screamed. He took a step closer and shoved Begbie back into bed by a hand on his chest. âI FUCKINâ DID THIS TO YOU?!â He laughed and it sounded manic even to him. He was vaguely aware of the nurse pressing a red button to call for more help. âYOU LISTEN HERE, YA FUCKINâ COCKSUCKINâ FUCKINâ LOSER WASTE OF FUCKINâ AIR! NOBODY FUCKINâ DID THIS TO YOU BUT YUR OWN FUCKINâ SELF! DO YOU FUCKINâ GOT THAT?â The machines were beeping and sounding their alarms as Francoâs heart rate rose higher and higher. âI TOLD YOU THIS WOULD FUCKINâ HAPPEN. I TOLD YOU TO STOP SHOVING THAT SHITE UP YUR FUCKINâ FACE. BUT YOU NEVER FUCKINâ LISTEN, DO YA? FUCKINâ NO! AND NOW LOOK WHERE YAâVE FUCKINâ LANDED YOURSELF, HUH? IN THE FUCKINâ INTENSIVE FUCKINâ CARE UNIT, THATâS FUCKINâ WHERE!â
âMr. Devine, please!â he felt a hand on his arm, trying to pull him away, but he yanked himself free.
âI TOLD YOU IT WOULD FUCKINâ KILL YOU, DIDNâT I?! DIDNâT I FUCKINâ SAY, FRANCO?â He grabbed the front of the hospital gown Begbie wore and drew himself close enough so that their noses almost touched. The alarms on the monitors had stopped. The increased dose of sedative had finally kicked in and Begbie was lying back again, limp but still alert. Danny didnât care. He had things he needed to fucking say, and he would fucking well say them. âYOU FUCKINâ ALMOST DIED, FRANCO, YOU STUPID FUCKINâ LOSER. YOU COULDâVE FUCKINâ DIED BACK THERE IN MY FUCKINâ FLAT. AND YOU KNOW FUCKINâ WHAT?!â Two very strong sets of hands gripped his arms and pulled him backwards, away from his lover. He was vaguely aware, through his fury, of Begbie shaking his head and trying to reach a hand out. Was he trying to stop them? Or was he only trying to finish the job he had started and strangle Danny for good and ever? Danny struggled against the hands holding him.
âIâM GLAD YOU FUCKINâ LIVED, YOU GREAT FUCKINâ COCKSUCKER OF A FAGGOT. IâM GLAD YOU FUCKINâ DID, YA FUCKINâ  LOSER. BECAUSE I FUCKINâ LOVE YOU. I FUCKINâ DO. AND IF THATâS FUCKINâ WRONGâŚ.â He trailed off and stopped struggling as he was pulled out of the door of the room backwards. â... then I donât want to see your fuckinâ face anymore,â he finished, all the hot air gone out of him, but he knew Begbie couldnât hear him anymore.
The security guards holding him threw him roughly into a chair in the hall and watched him closely. One of them kept a firm hand on his shoulder to keep him down, but it wouldnât have mattered. Danny had no more left in him just now. He collapsed into the chair, his face in his hands. What had he fucking done? All he wanted to do was fucking help Franco recover. And instead he had set him off like a fucking firework. As fucking usual. They were both so volatile, both had tempers like bull fucking elephants. He really had to find a way to cap his fury when Begbie recovered. Maybe it would be best for him to just leave and never show his face to Francis Fucking Begbie ever again. That was probably the best bet. He made to stand up, but the guards shoved him back down in the chair.
âIâm fuckinâ leaving,â he told them. âIâm fuckinâ done here.â The two men looked at each other, skeptical. Danny tried again to get up and though the guard with the hand on him hesitated, he was met with no resistance. He took a step towards the exit just as the door to Francoâs room opened and the pretty young doctor came out. She gave him a reprimanding look and stood directly in front of him. Danny was a short bloke, but this bird only came to his fuckinâ shoulder. Still, she had an enormous presence and seemed to tower over him in her anger.
âThat was a stupid thing to do, sir,â she told him, plainly. âDo you want your boyfriend to die? Because that is exactly what we are coming to here.â Danny was taken aback and couldnât think of a reply. Dr. French sighed and seemed to take pity on him. âLook. I can see that you care about Mr. Begbie. I can tell you are upset by all this, and whatever ridiculous mating display that was in there, I think you do want to be with him.â Danny could only nod, feeling ashamed of his outburst. What the fuck? He screamed and shouted his head off for a living. He had never quite felt ashamed for it before.
âHeâs very sedated now, but heâs asking to see you,â Dr. French told him. She looked wary. âI am willing to give you one more chance, but you need to try to keep him calm. His heart canât take that strain right now, and if he goes into cardiac arrest, he may very well not survive. Do you understand that?â Danny nodded again. He lowered his head and looked down at his feet, feeling like a schoolboy being told off by the headmistress. The doctor cleared her throat softly.
âGo on, then,â she said, stepping aside to allow him access to the door. Danny looked up, a bit surprised by the forgiving nature of the woman. What a wonderful fucking human being, he thought as he walked to the door. He expected the security guards to follow him, but she held them back. So trustingâŚ. Danny wasnât sure if he even trusted himself right now, but here was this little brunette doctor essentially putting Francoâs life in his hands.
He stepped into the room once more. The nurses were gone. The doctor and the guards were all gone. It was only him and Begbie now. Franco looked around slowly as he heard the door open and a profound expression of relief came over him. It was quickly washed away by one of anger, however, as Danny pulled a chair over to the side of the bed and threw himself into it. He tossed his feet onto the edge of the bed and lounged back, not taking his eyes off of the lunaticâs face for a moment.
âFuck aff,â was all Begbie said, but his words were slurred and his vision unfocused. The sedatives were bearing heavily down on him.
âNo,â Danny replied simply. âYou wanted me here, so here I fuckinâ am.â He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. A large wad of cash was inside and he rifled through it, not really looking at it. It was a relaxing habit he had formed years ago, reassuring to know that whatever else was going bonkers in his life, he still had his money. He fiddled with the bills absently, still not looked away from Begbie. Begbieâs eyes followed the movements of Dannyâs fingers, drifting slowly closed until he was peering through small slits.
âTake a fuckinâ rest, Frank,â Danny offered, trying to sound nonchalant, but probably failing. âIâll still fuckinâ be here when you wake up.â Begbieâs eyes popped open slightly as he tried to resist sleep. His mouth opened and he seemed like he was trying to say something.
âDonât fuckinâ worry about it,â Danny said, curious but not enough to force the man to talk. Begbie gave a little shake of his head, as if trying to clear the fog of sedation from his mind.
âDin⌠dinnae fucking⌠tell anybody,â Begbie murmured. Dannyâs hand froze and he lowered the money to his lap. He frowned. Would the man ever be okay with the world, he wondered. The whole world wasnât as behind the fucking times as Franco Begbie. But still.... Franco still seemed to want to trust him, and Danny didnât want to break that.
âI wonât say a fuckinâ word,â he promised, knowing he had already done so. He would have to make sure those fucking nurses wouldnât give it away. He would have to talk to that fucking pretty bird of a doctor out there. But for now, his assurance was enough. âI wonât tell a fuckinâ soul.â
He watched as Begbie drifted off to sleep and then glanced at the clock. 3:00 pm. Christ, what a fucking day. He reached for the remote on the bedside table and switched on the telly. He might as well settle in. It was going to a be long fucking night.
This is turning into one of the freaking longest chapters ever, and I havenât gotten to where the chapter was originally going. These boys really want this story to be told their way.
So... there may just be one extra chapter added to the line-up for ADFM, because I dunno if I want to force the original plan for this chapter in here at this point. I think Iâll shift everything back a chapter.
So hey, one more for all of you to read, I guess. xD