#blurrgs

The air was cool on my skin as I made my way to the stables. I chose my blurrg, saddled and mounted it, and left the grounds.

“Let the hunt begin,” I murmured to myself.

Although it was certainly more peaceful, it wasn’t as fun hunting without the guys. I missed the buzz of competition in the air, and the chance encounters where we’d compare our kills (or lie about them). I missed Mikal, too, even though the whole point of this morning was to see how I’d do without him.

Contrary to the Pentarra boys’ jeering, I was at a disadvantage without Mikal. He had helped scout, and even if he hadn’t been much use at shooting he knew all the places where animals tended to gather. I couldn’t seem to find any signs of life—not even the tiny lizards that skittered across the rock for kortokks to peck. I wondered if the time of day was working against me: it was early in the morning instead of afternoon, and perhaps a lot of animals were still asleep.

Whatever animals I did find, I did not succeed in killing. I tried to nab a couple of kortokks as they zigzagged from one stony cleft to another, but only hit rock. I snuck up on a senshiil, but missed my aim.

Things weren’t looking good. By the time I had to start heading back, I still didn’t have a single kill.

But luck found me at last. On my way back to the grounds, I spotted a wild blurrg all alone in the middle of a rocky clearing. It was grazing on brush with its back to me, groaning contentedly and swinging its massive tail.

I took in a sharp breath, and quietly dismounted. The first time I’d hunted, Mikal and I hadn’t even seen a blurrg—and no one had brought home any evidence of one (although many claimed to have shot ones that escaped).

A blurrg would more than make up for my lack of other quarry. I’d be able to keep my victory streak—and my reputation with the guys. I gripped my blaster tightly, excitement rising in my chest.

But…I wasn’t the only one getting excited. My blurrg uttered a low, rumbling noise, and I turned to look at him.

“What’s up, buddy?” I asked—then happened to look a little southward, and saw what, indeed, was up.

…Oh.

And then I looked back at the wild blurrg. Which was how I figured out that she was, well…

…Probably a girl.

“Aw, geez,” I muttered. “C’mon, buddy. Focus, will ya?”

But ol’ blurrgy boy was pretty focused already—and his focus, frankly speaking, was quite large.

He groaned again, and strained against the reins. It reminded me of college, when I used to tag along to frat parties with my buddy Treeso. Sometimes accompanying him had felt like barely restraining a love-stricken blurrg.

I had to admit I was interested to see how this would play out. I wasn’t sure I wanted to kill a female blurrg, anyway (not that the Pentarra boys would have cared). I figured it couldn’t hurt to withhold my shot, and let the guy shoot his. So I let go of the reins and gave ol’ blurrgy boy a brother’s salute, and he advanced toward the target of his affections with a grumbling roar.

I had half a mind to look away. But since I had never seen sex before, between sentients or animals or anything, I was curious. Especially about the logistics: blurrgs have big, long, meaty tails, and I wondered how they weren’t going to end up getting in the way.

So…I watched.

You know. For scientific reasons.

The female blurrg noticed Blurrgy Boy as soon as he approached, but did her best not to make things easy for him. As he circled around her, she turned away from him again and again (reminding me of my dance with Pennie around the armchair the night before).

But ol’ Blurggy Boy was undeterred. If anything, her disinterest only served to bolster his resolve. After stalking around her a couple of times, he suddenly rammed into her with his entire body, causing her to squeal.

“Oh, shoot,” I murmured.

He butted into her a couple more times, and finally knocked her to the ground and pushed her so she lay on her side. Then he stood perpendicular to her, and was able to access what he needed to that way.

So…there was a mystery solved.

Once Mr. Blurrg had officially begun the proceedings, Miss Blurrg stopped struggling. She lay there, motionless, as Mr. Blurrg did his thing—but she was breathing, and her tail flopped a couple of times, so she was clearly conscious. I began to feel uneasy, even if they were only animals. Had she resigned herself to her fate? Or had she only been playing coy, to ensure her mate was worthy? I hoped she was okay.

Well, the actual sex part turned out not to be as interesting as I thought it would be—nor did it take long. My blurrg finished his business in under a minute, withdrew, and stumbled backward in a daze. I yawned, distracted by thoughts of what I hoped to have for lunch—

And that was when it happened.

Suddenly, Miss Bluurg shifted all her weight up, and rolled herself upright. Then she bared her jaws so that her sharp teeth came into view, aimed for Blurrgy Boy’s tail—and chomped.

Blood.

Mr. Blurrg screeched.

My mouth fell open.

She sunk her teeth deep into his flesh, and swung him around. Now he was on the ground, belly-up, and in a vulnerable position for a guy—I suddenly got a very bad feeling about this—

She chomped hard again.

I’ll let you guess where.

Blurrgy Boy wailed.

I slammed my knees shut.

And she tore it right off.

She chewed. She gulped. And then she went to work on the rest of Mr. Blurrg, recently un-mistered, ravenously tearing huge chunks of flesh off of him like he was a rotisserie tipyip from the grocery store. She quite literally had my blurrg for breakfast.

As for me—well, I got the hell outta there on foot.

The other boys were getting ready to head out when I burst into the stables, wild-eyed, blurrgless, and looking how someone who’d witnessed the absolute worst way to go would. They gathered around me with curious amusement as I collapsed to my knees and hunched over, trying to catch my breath.

“You’re back—but where are your trophies, Ben Solo?” Hakiiro asked, sounding smug that I had returned empty-handed.

“Never mind that,” interrupted Nabohri, hopping down from his mount. “Where is your blurrg?”

I didn’t know how to answer him.

“I-it’s gone,” I stammered.

“Gone?” repeated Mikal. “You lost your blurrg?”

“I lost him all right,” I said, wiping my nose on my sleeve and flopping clumsily down on a bale of straw. “And he’s not just gone. He’s a goner.”

“Killed?” Nabohri asked, surprised.

“Oh, yeah.”

“By a gutkurr?”

I didn’t know what a gutkurr was, but I shook my head. “No—by another blurrg!”

There was silence for a moment.

And then…everyone started snickering. I looked around, confused.

“Ah…I see what happened here,” Nabohri said, with a knowing look toward the entire group, and the snickers turned to laughter. “Ben Solo wanted to watch!”

“Well, yeah—I couldn’t really look away,” I stammered. “There was just so much blood. I mean, sure, I cut open half a dozen senshiils the other day, but that was after they were already dead—kriff, it was horrible—the poor guy just kept on screaming—”

“No, not that,” Nabohri grinned. “You wanted to watch them mate, Ben Solo.”

I blinked.

I had forgotten about that.

“...Oh. Uh. Yeah,” I said awkwardly, wiping sweat from my brow. “That…may have been a thing that happened.”

The guys laughed even harder, and I glanced around sheepishly.

“Feeling hot, are you, Ben Solo?”

“Do you need a moment to yourself, Solo? Shall we leave you alone?”

“There are better things to watch, nerra! Things that will not cost you your blurrg.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I said, rolling my eyes, trying to ignore my burning face. “Sorry about the blurrg.”

“It’s not your fault, Ben Solo,” said Mikal, coming to my rescue. “You are unfamiliar with our beasts. After blurrgs mate, the female always eats the male. It is the way of things. The female does not wish the male to father any other offspring but her own.”

“Jealous creatures, they are,” Nabohri remarked, unsheathing his pocket knife and wiping it with a rag.

“...Oh,” I said. “So…it’s normal. They…always do that?”

“In the wild, yes,” said Mikal. “We do not allow domesticated blurrgs to mate the normal way. We would lose too many blurrgs.”

“Okay. Another question, then,” I coughed. “Do the female blurrgs always, uh—bite it off? Or…did I just stumble upon a particularly egregious man-eater?”

Everyone snickered again, and Nabohri grinned. “Have you not heard of a ‘blurrg’s kiss,’ Ben Solo?” he asked.

“No…” I said slowly, not sure if I wanted him to elaborate.

“A ‘blurrg’s kiss,’” Nabohri replied with a wicked kind of smile, “is what you call it when a woman is not mindful of her teeth.”

I understood. I winced as the boys laughed raucously.

“Well, I’m sure glad I’m not a blurrg,” I muttered, rising to my feet and putting away my borrowed blaster.

“Yes,” Nabohri agreed. “Male blurrgs are weak, and let their females destroy them. Twi’lek men are not so.” He resheathed his knife, and mounted his blurrg again in one fluid motion—he had to lift his long legs pretty high to clear the creature’s back. “Ah, well. It is a shame you didn’t bring anything back, Ben Solo—but we will forgive you for it due to the circumstance. I will, at least. I cannot speak for the others.”

He turned to the group. “What do you say, nerras?”

The other guys all clapped me on the back and teased me jokingly—all except for Hakiiro, who hung back and glowered with his skinny arms crossed. I ignored him.

“It is a pity, too, that we will miss your company on our own hunt,” Nabohri went on. “But—Pentarra is hosting the gentlemen’s banquet tonight. You will be there, Ben Solo?” He smirked mischievously. “It is certainly a better way to blow off steam than watching blurrgs mate.”

I flushed.

“Does he have an invitation?” Hakiiro asked irritably. “Pentarra will not let him in, if he has not invited him.”

“Never mind if Pentarra has invited him,” said Nabohri, waggling his head in a self-important way. “I am inviting him.”

“You can’t invite him,” Hakiiro protested. “Pentarra needs to invite him.”

“Hakiiro is right,” Mikal agreed, but without Hakiiro’s nastiness. “Pentarra must invite him.”

Fascinating, I thought. Hakiiro and Mikal shared the same affinity for following rules…but only one of them seemed to do so out of malice.

I did wonder, though, that Nabohri seemed so ready to assume equal authority with his father. Had he already forgotten about the snorlii shell incident? Maybe filling in for Vataash had filled Nabohri’s head with pride.

…Wait. Where was Vataash? I knew he’d been held after dinner last night, but that didn’t explain why he was still missing from the group this morning.

“Vataash isn’t going to hunt with you?” I asked, interrupting Nabohri’s and Hakiiro’s bickering. Mikal had resumed his usual silence.

“Vataash, unfortunately, has fallen ill,” said Nabohri, sounding a little too pleased about it. “So I am in charge of the hunt today, Ben Solo. And I am inviting you to Pentarra’s banquet tonight.” He threw Hakiiro a haughty little look.

Sure, I could’ve told Nabohri that his father had already invited me. But given how proud of himself Nabohri looked in that moment, I didn’t think that was such a good idea. As for Vataash…I had a hard time believing he was simply sick.

All the same, I wasn’t interested in trying to solve that mystery right now. I had to go rinse off so I could meet Fannie at eleven.

“Well, Fa’nakhra and I are planning to spend the entire day together,” I told Nabohri, “so…I don’t think I’m gonna make it to the banquet. Sorry. Appreciate it, though.”

This response was met with jeers in the following vein:

“He is whipped!”

“He is like a blurrg—his female keeps him all to herself.”

“She has bitten him off!” (This was the most heinous comment of them all—and of course it was Hakiiro who uttered it.)

I was sure these remarks were made mostly in jest (except, perhaps, Hakiiro’s). But they stung and mingled with the other doubts and insecurities that swirled in the deep unspoken part of my mind.

I shrugged and laughed and waved at the guys as I left the stables—

—but my smile only lasted for as long as I was in their presence.