#bluedose

but i can't deny a relationship where everyone is happy is an unhealthy and/or bad one.

hahaha of course it seems legit on the females' side

Oh gosh everything.

By which I mean scenarios in which my life is not completely fucked up.

Actually, more specifically, it’s fucked up differently, and in a way where I can be rescued. Usually I’m a character I’ve created for that specific fandom/verse and my love in that character/verse rescues me from the bad things. Even if it’s not a full-fledged rescue, they’ll sit with me and hold me and tell me everything will be okay.

I also have a verse that’s just me, regular me, but my character Sam is (pretty much) always with me. He’s like a big brother/best friend/boyfriend all at once and he’s just around. He’s one of my most fleshed out characters, so he’s also the most human, which means there’s a lot less I WILL RIDE IN TO SAVE THE DAY and a lot more I’m going to sit next to you and let you lean on my shoulder and hold your hand until you feel better.

So I guess I spend a lot of time at Hogwarts, and at Jim Moriarty’s country mansion, and in London, and Toronto, depending on which verse I’m in.

I also have a weird thing where I’m not sure how to explain, but like. I believe in unicorns IRL, I refuse to live in a world without them. So there are unicorns, but they only live in the Black Forest in Germany. I also have a small legion of bald eagles and grizzly bears who do things I can’t do, like go to Brazil (hi, kickingfibrosbutt).

Then just. There’s. Just getting lost in my head, y’know? Dissociating. There’s no one particular there, but also I’m not here. I’m not sure how to describe it and it’s not exactly MDD, but it’s still a thing.