omggg ASSHOLE HI LONG TIME NO SEE!!!

22) list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

ahem this is gonna be boring.. I. Breathe II. sleep sleep sleep III. think about things; f1, cars, life, how to be an adult™ (overthinking) IV. eat and drink V. uni related things; attending classes, group work, homework, assignments etc.

You look nice, asshole. Though I share your opinion on shorts: nice to see not to wear.

Thanks asshole! yeah, nice to look at, but not to wear, alas.

volksfra replied to your photoset“One of the reasons I dislike very hot weather; shorts. I am suffering...”

Those tags though. Also you seem confused by the shorts haha

Hey there! I’m sorry, your quick question inspired me to go on a bit of a rant. I hope it helps you, and anyone else in a similar situation!

It’s not that unusual for feelings to vary, especially in the relatively early days of a relationship, and it isn’t necessarily the end of the world. But in this case, when it’s fluctuating so much that it drives you crazy, then there’s no sense in trying to power through it. You can’t simply stop your feelings from fluctuating, so all you can do is accept and be honest about them.

In the face of such a strong declaration of love from this guy, you might feel pressured to return some of his sentiments, even if it doesn’t feel completely right or honest all the time. You might find yourself exaggerating your own enthusiasm for the relationship and trying to cover up the times when you’re indifferent or averse. And sure, it’s occasionally necessary for the smooth running of relationships - romantic or not - to act warmer, nicer, more enthusiastic than you really feel. But in the longer term, you cannot sustain a healthy relationship that way. Actively and systematically bottling up the ‘NOPE’ will only make you unhappy and damage your relationship.

You’re six months in. Things are starting to get a bit more serious. If you want to stay with this guy, you should be able to tell him the truth about how you feel, on any day - even if how you feel is “I have no idea how I feel.” You should be able to opt out of romantic actions/language when you need to. He may be hurt or confused to have his love returned only inconsistently or uncertainly. Take the time to think through your words and express yourself sensitively. Try not to compound the situation with extra white lies, just be honest. Don’t say “I love you” just because he said it, or to make him happy - say it because you mean it. If it’s not true, or you’re not sure, you shouldn’t feel pressured to say it. That goes for all romantic words and gestures.

If the strength of his love makes you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed, that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with you. However you feel, whether it’s related to an arospec identity or not, is valid. You are under no obligation to suppress, conceal or apologise for your feelings, even though that's probably your first instinct when your reality does not align with the romantic ideal we are taught to aspire to.

Soon, your feelings for him may start to level off and become more comfortably consistent. Or they might continue to fluctuate like this for a long time. That doesn’t mean you can’t still have a good relationship - so long as you are honest, and he is comfortable with your honesty. If that proves impossible, you may find the best course of action is to break up, and that’s okay too. The goal isn’t to stay together forever at any cost; it’s to navigate the best path for both of you, as individuals with individual needs.

As for your original question (I... got carried away......), whether your experience relates to the aro spectrum or not can really only be determined by you. What you’ve described doesn’t automatically make you aro, but the fact that you’re questioning it at all suggests to me that it's worth some time and attention on your part. Certainly, if you’re feeling confused and unhappy because of these feelings, putting then a label on them could help you come to terms with them. 'Aroflux’ is one word used by people who experience varying amounts of romantic attraction or love. You may want to look into it further, or think about some of the other terms in our glossary.

Again, sorry for going off on one - this is something close to my heart. Best of luck to you, shoot us an ask any time :)

Jeremy Clarkson Beatbox? God, does that exists?