#bloodwrites

Lightest

Comfortably Numb by bloodwrites @bloodwritesfic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4711565

You can't live so close together without occasionally getting a peek at each other's equipment, and Sam's big all over, but Dean's sure he doesn't have the kind of length he'd need to— "We are talking about the same thing, right? You're telling me you can..." Sam grins. "Fuck myself. Yeah."

The sun wouldn't rise for a few hours at least -- there was time yet left in the night. Morgan lounged in bed, her mind wandering over the past, over places and things she wasn't sure she wanted to think about.

For a vampire, memories could be both a blessing and a curse. Without memories, a vampire might be nothing more than a monster, a ravening beast constantly on the hunt for blood. Or they might wander in a fog for all of eternity, who were they? What had they been before now?

Memories were necessary to survive and yet, they could be deadly. If a vampire became lost in their memories, they might sink into madness, unable to tell past from present, unable to cope with the ever changing world. Madness, it seemed, was the destiny of every vampire, eventually. The slow, ever-encroaching death of her kind. They might live forever but someday, she was sure, they all lost their minds. She knew that madness would claim her someday as well and as Queen, this was almost unthinkable. The vampire courts didn't look kindly upon mental illness. If she gave in, what would become of her? She hadn't yet chosen a successor and she couldn't allow an enemy to take over and undo all of her hard work. Those who had helped her overthrow the previous Prince might have once been an option. Not now. Their newfound status had corrupted them. They were greedy and childish, with their thoughts bent on keeping their power. They weren't reliable. 

She freed herself from her lover's arms and crossed the room, her feet sinking into the thick plush carpet. Would she eventually become power-mad as well? Like the vampire she had killed to take power almost two hundred years ago. Sure, by vampire standards it wasn't that long ago, but it was nearly half a lifetime for her. Could she turn into that, given enough time?

She shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself. No, she couldn't dwell on that. She looked over the sleeping form in her bed and sighed. And what about him? What about when he grew old? Lycans weren't immortal -- only extremely long-lived. Someday, he would be gone. Would she become cold and bitter in her grief? A vicious widow-monarch, tormenting her subjects?

Barefoot, she paced across the room, her foot-falls near silent in the predawn gloom. The attempts on her life had only increased since she took him as her partner. There were vampires in her court who disagreed with her decision to renew the old treaties. It was a new world, they said -- why live in the trappings of the old?

Hypocrites, all of them. They still lived like the vampires of the old world, still carried the same prejudices against the mentally ill and infirm. The same old hatred of the lower classes, the same old hatred of humans and other creatures. At least, creatures they couldn't use.

But things had changed since the Dark Days of Europe. The human population swelled and blossomed, their understanding of the world grew and their fear of the darkness lessened. The monsters of the world -- the vampires, the werewolves, all the ancient creatures of myth... were losing their hold. Their numbers dropped in ever increasing frequency, they grew weaker.