#blondbae

The SDN building runs fairly cold, but Robert’s cubicle is hotter than usual. His chronic pain considers this a blessing straight from the heavens. Every other part of him is still unnerved by the reason his cubicle is hot.

That reason is the man with his arms crossed over the back of Robert’s chair, leaning close enough to give the illusion of familiarity—even intimacy. This would still be odd if it was the pyrokinetic Robert knew, but no matter how similar they look, this Blond Blazer is not Flambae.

“So, that’s your Z-Team, huh?” Blond Blazer says, far too quiet for someone that’s so close to Robert’s ear. And the warmth from his breathes? This has to be an assassination attempt his universe uses.

“This is my team, yes.”

“They look so much like my fellow shitheads.” Blond Blazer’s voice is light and happy, noticeably fond even as he calls his teammates ‘shitheads.’ “Course, plenty of differences, too.” Blond Blazer leans even closer. Only to point at people, Robert reminds himself, just like how the red creeping across Robert’s skin is only from the heat. “My Visi has a lot more tattoos. And my Punch Up is tall. And—”

“Blond Blazer.” The hero from another universe and the dispatcher from this universe both turn around to see Mandy waving the former over. She’s been talking to a cross-dimensional specialist, trying to find a way to bring Blond Blazer back to his world.

“Looks like I’m being called away. Don’t get too cold without me here, okay?” Blond Blazer looks over his shoulder, the brightness of his smile matched only by the golden flames dancing alongside his hair.

“I’ll be fine,” Robert gruffly responds.

Blond Blazer chuckles to himself. He starts walking away. Robert turns back to the computer until he hears, “Oh, wait, Robert—”

With a sigh, Robert turns back around. Blond Blazer is walking backwards. With his fingers, he draws a heart in the air. Gold fire follows his fingertips, making a flaming heart for a few seconds, completely illuminating Blond Blazer’s smile.

He turns back around to talk to Mandy and the specialist. Robert continues staring even after the flames have died.

“Ew. Are you fucking blushing?”

Robert glares at Invisigal, who has appeared right beside him. “What are you doing here? You have a shift.”

“Didn’t answer my question~”

“No, I’m not blushing.” Not anymore, thankfully. “Now, go back to your shift.”

“I thought you had a thing for brunettes, not blonds.”

“I will dock points, Visi.”

“You’re just mad that you’re down so fucking bad for that guy,” Invisigal says. She disappears before Robert can explain that he feels nothing for Blond Blazer; he just reacted to someone drawing a heart with him in the center.

That really is all it is.

It's hard not to appreciate efficiency, and Robert has always been a sucker for competency. Blond Blazer, as he introduces himself to the befuddled crew, while not officially on the leaderboard or this universe's SDN still volunteers to go on missions. For funsies, as he puts it. Mostly, Robert thinks it's because he's bored and wants to show off. Wants everyone to see that he is the better, superior version out of the two fire-starters currently occupying this reality.

Blazer is faster; Robert has to give him that. He is more charming and seems a lot more certain of himself and his worth. Privately, the dispatcher thinks it's because he never went to jail, but who knows for sure? He certainly hasn't bothered asking any deep questions while the man was kissing the daylights out of him on their first meeting. And afterwards, he never found the time or motivation to inquire further.

What Robert does know for certain is that Blazer, or Blondbae as he has called him in his head, as soon as the misunderstanding of his identity was cleared, has been a hero for far longer than Flambae has. And he has gained the skills and know-how necessary to prove it, too.

It surprises Robert how easy he is to work with once they establish some ground rules. There are still insults being thrown every which way, and a bet seems to pop up every other shift, but he responds to Robert like a program tuned to his every touch and suggestion.

Still with sass, still with character, it seems no universe will have a sullen Flambae who doesn't talk back; but so so very responsive!

Suggestions are implemented only to be dissed afterwards.

Directions followed with a quick laugh and a joke.

Blazer pushes and antagonizes when appropriate. Suggests daring plans and outlandish operations that somehow work out when it's him at the wheel. Robert meets him halfway with just as much bite, delighting at being able to meet him head to head on the strategic front. For some reason, the dispatcher has never had this much fun on the job.

Robert was always alone in his heroic work. He liked it this way. But for once, someone is inexplicably on a similar wavelength to him, and he can spew jargon he hasn't used outside the suit and be met with understanding. He can add a quip about a past villain that had used a similar tactic to the one that's being utilized in the crime that Blazer had been sent to, and be answered with tactics he himself would have found appropriate in the situation, due to it being common sense to him.

And apparently, to Blazer, who had been at this gig for about as long as Robert himself apparently has.

Is it any wonder then that after another shift where the team has started showing their true colors more and more, successful almost to the 90th percentile, Robert leaves the dispatching station and walks over to the changing rooms, where everyone is getting out of their hero outfits, and approaches Blazer with an offer of dinner and drinks?

Flambae thinks this blonde version of himself is trying to hit on Robert to steal him back to his original dimension. So is being his usual jealous self about it.

Meanwhile, Robert is sitting and listening to Blondbae cry in the breakroom that he misses his own Prototype!Robert so much.

Robert: Hey, Blond Blazer?

Proto!BB: My Robert would call me Blond Blazer…

Robert: Yeah, because it’s your fucking name—

Anyway! Oh, I really like this idea! My idea is that Proto!BB and Proto!Robert are in one of those “dating in everything but name” relationships, so Robert listens to Proto!BB yapping about all this intimate, personal details about his relationship only to find they aren’t married, not even dating, barely admitting they’re “friends”

And I love the idea of Proto!BB being so suave in public, and then basically being another Phenomaman when he’s alone with Robert. It’s constantly, “I miss my wife, Robert. I miss him a lot.”

He’s used to his fair share of celebrations—fancy banquets, neon clubs, glittering ballrooms, classic bars. House parties are rarer, he supposes, but nothing he hasn’t experienced before. Nothing he shouldn’t be able to handle.

I can't believe we're finally alone

But oh, how he feels his control slipping. Right on the edge of the couch that’s beside the chair he reclines on, ready—perhaps eager—to flee, sits Robert. The exhausted dispatcher sips from a red cup, tempting lips curving around the rim. Dark brown eyes as deep as the sea and just as terrifyingly magnificent, stare out across the room. Robert is so unbelievable close to him; he could stretch out his leg and brush against Robert’s.

I can't believe I almost went home

As much as he loves a good party, he prefers it with people he knows—not simulacrums from another universe, familiar yet distinctly different. He yearns to return to his home universe as much he would prefer going back to the hotel the Blonde Blazer of this universe—Mandy, she calls herself (and really, she should, because she doesn’t live up to his name)—set him up in.

What are the chances everyone's dancing

A house party with this Robert’s Z-Team and tons of other SDN staff. All of them on their feet, swaying with the beat, a song Blazer would quite like to dance to, as well, with the accompaniment of a partner.

And he's not with you?

But that partner he wants stare so pathetically, pitifully at the simulacrum who barely looks like Blazer. Flambae—some fuckass pun that hardly fits his persona—sways with the crowd, getting close to a lot of people who do not bear the name ‘Robert,’ even when that neglected Robert aims his pretty brown eyes at that fucker on the dance floor.

The universe must have divined this

But that’s fine. Flambae doesn’t know a good thing when he sees it, and Robert’s only a little confused about who he actually wants. Blazer will see to it that they are both corrected, just as the universe itself likely wanted when it brought him over.

What am I gonna do, not grab your wrist?

Blazer keeps the temperature of his fingers warm when he wraps them around Robert’s wrist. Tugs only enough to bring that red cup down and those brown eyes to him. A drop of whatever Robert was drinking slides over his lip and down his chin, and Blazer would rather personally find out what it is with his tongue, but—baby steps.

“I could be a better boyfriend than him.”

Or whatever step that counted as.

“I could do the shit that he never did.”

Robert wears shame and embarrassment well, tucking it far away where it cannot color his cheeks or taint his eyes. But Blazer knows. Maybe it’s an instinct, maybe it’s because he’s been studying this Robert, but he knows, and he doesn’t know if he should be happy he was right or pissed that Robert would ever dare consider that faker to be worth his time.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Robert responds. Blazer almost feels hysterical. Robert is telling the truth, but how could he be?

Up all night, I won't quit

“That’s a damn shame,” Blazer murmurs. His fingers lightly tap their way down from Robert’s wrist to his fingers. Blazer’s own fingers twist around them, holding them together as he brings Robert’s knuckles to his lips, adding just a touch of smoke to his exhale. “How can there be no one there to care for you all night long?”

Thinking I'm gonna steal you from him

Robert’s expression changes. All Blazer sees is resistance, but the fact that he’s resisting anything makes him smirk. Now, they’re getting somewhere.

I could be such a gentleman

Blazer stands. He tugs Robert onto his feet from his hand. It wasn’t his intention, but it feels so natural to wrap his other arm around Robert’s wrist while pressing a kiss into those scarred knuckles he’s been holding onto for a while.

I could be a better boyfriend

Remembering himself, Robert pulls away. He makes a move to go anywhere else in the house but mistakenly joins the dancers at the edge of the living room. Blazer can’t leave Robert out there all alone, of course.

I don't need to tell you twice

An arm around Robert’s waist, that tense back against Blazer’s chest. Robert pauses. It’s more than likely the heat, but Blazer doesn’t mind. He’s overjoyed by it. Why wouldn’t he be happy that someone can handle the heat?

All the ways he can't suffice

They sway together, letting the music overtake them. Perhaps for a moment, Robert looks at Flambae, but Blazer easily twists him around to get those eyes back on him—only on him—as they should be, really.

“If I could give you some advice,” He whispers, leaning in close so that he doesn’t have to compete with the music—pressing into Robert’s ear to feel that subtle shaking against him and those fingers curling into his shoulder. “I would leave with me tonight.”

The universe must have divined this, mm, mm

If Blazer wasn’t so close, he likely would’ve missed the sound of a hitched breath, but fate has seen fit to bless him with luck, and if it takes all his fortune to be with Robert for a single night, then by the gods it’ll be worth it.

I never would have left you alone

Flambae made a mistake. One Blazer is going to take full fucking advantage of.

Here on your own, glued to your phone

And what better way than to fail at keeping his hands to himself when he and Robert are trying to put their shoes and coats on, finally leaving this shitshow?

Never would have left you alone

Robert’s barely ordered a whatever-this-universe-calls-it (an Uber) before he’s swept up in Blazer’s fiery passion, kiss smeared wherever he can reach for now with promises to place a kiss everywhere later.

For someone else to take you home

Robert certainly has more dignity than Blazer does on the car ride to the hotel. He’s going to break that composure soon enough.

I could be a better boyfriend than him

Not a single thought about that paltry, sad excuse of a spark will pass through Robert’s head.

I could do the shit that he never did

All that affection and warmth Flambae couldn’t be bothered to spare Robert will be his, will absolutely ruin him with passion and kindness unlike he’s ever known in the hopes that it will be all he’ll ever know.

Up all night, I won't quit

Not an hour will be spent without a fire in the hearth, constantly keeping Robert burning bright and hot like the star he is to Blazer.

I'm gonna steal you from him

Blazer wants Flambae to know about this—wants him to know regret and a love that slowly kills without anywhere to go.

I could be such a gentleman

Robert will never know that as long as he’s around.

Plus you know my clothes would fit

Blondbae mad dashes to his Robert when he sees him, practically knocking him over or lifting him off the ground, confessing how much he missed him and what he missed and what the other Robert was missing (kinda backhanded but he's rambling betweens confession so you know). Flambae looking on like 'Damn, glad im not like that... I'm not right?'

Proto!Robert tears Blondbae a new one for being reckless and getting himself dimension hopped and how he and the team were worried, and thought he died or something, and he's pissed. And Blondbae is beaming because he missed his bitching so much. Kinda anger devolving to tearful relief kinda thing.

Also at what point do the Baes argue which of their Roberts is hotter?

Blondbae tries doing #1, but Protobert side-steps and trips him before yelling at him while he’s down: “what the fuck were you thinking?! I told you to get away from that! I’m the dispatcher, dumbass, you listen to me and do what I tell you to!”

Blondbae nodding like a good puppy. “Yes, yes, I am your dumbass.”