#bloggingcomeback

Hey there! Who am I addressing? You, who have stumbled onto my space. I can’t predict where you may have come from because I don’t know myself when or whether I’d share this link with the general public - with people who have me on their social media. I can think of a dear friend who will land here first. This will be because I will ‘follow’ her blog, and perhaps she may click out of curiosity. 

Radiant Grace of the Heart

This name isn’t like any of the other aliases that I’ve had in the past. It isn’t bspontaneous, baby-ck, krysto0l, nchrisss, or even my own name. This name came from Blue Cliff Monastery. I was presented with this name on the day that I took part in the ‘5 Mindfulness Trainings’ Ceremony. It was the morning of my 25th birthday. I felt deep emotions that I hadn’t encountered before, promising myself that I would have my back. I’d love to write more about this someday. 

Thinking about my ‘why’, I suddenly found myself at a familiar place. I wanted to express myself in a space that felt open, and with fewer judgments. I blogged through my teen years - of course this feels familiar! I blogged openly without a care in the world as to how I sounded, about such personal aspects about my life, up until the point where I sort of ‘grew up’ and cringed upon revisiting these old blogs. Back before Instagram existed and before Facebook was used in our circles, we would install a ‘Tagboard’ on our blogs, which allowed for visitors to leave a comment on our websites. Hateful comments would arise. There’s no doubt that that still exists today, but by having less content, or even none, or not being as well-known as an influencer may be, your chances of receiving a hateful comment are lower. As I got older, I censored my posts more often - re-reading and criticizing, to the point where I would delete them entirely and not post my thoughts. I remembered recently reading the blog of the late traveling cyclists, Lauren and Jay, and feeling shocked at how hateful peoples’ comments could be. From my perspective, they are inspiring people who dared to embark on a brave adventure and shared the knowledge and insights that they gained along the way.

To avoid going off on a tangent, my ‘why’ comes from my desire to dig deeper. Every day, I think of ways to uncover more about myself. How can I know more? How can I focus more? How can I be one step closer to figuring out what my life’s calling is here on this Earth? This is my space for me to discover, and to do. Sometimes my creativity comes to me and it is alive and buzzing, exciting me and fuelling my drive for what’s to come. Sometimes it is dormant, and I don’t uncover it for years. I stray off my path. I forget.

I want a place to remind me of my joys and my lessons. I want to share it with my community, and the online community. I want to share it with the wanderer, who came here by chance. For I too, spent my youth bloghopping late nights, staying up on a school night. It was through following blogs of interest, that particular seeds were planted for me. I developed a curiosity for a year abroad in Spain. I nourished a curiosity for pursuing work overseas. I followed my curiosities and found myself doing the very things that I read about - buying a ticket to the destination and letting the rest sort itself out, or committing to a 200 hr Yoga & Mindfulness Teacher Training Course. There is so much information out there that could speak to your soul and so many interconnected webs leading to opportunities that you could not imagine just yet. Just the thought of that reminds me of my appreciation for the wonders of life.

I did it!

Signing off on this rainy night here in New York City,