#blitstone

When Blitz had woken up to pots and pans banging in the kitchen of their apartment, he didn’t find anything wrong, the sound common enough- but when he heard Hearth vocalizing loudly he shot out of bed. Hearth was a reserved man, to say the least. He wouldn’t say much about his upbringing if he could help it but Blitz assumed that his parents had strongly discouraged Hearth from making a sound, even laughing. So when Hearth did vocalize it was never to be taken lightly, usually it meant he was either very upset or very happy; when it came to Hearthstone, vocalizing is for extreme emotions.

That being said, it turns out the Elf had burned the pancakes he had intended to serve to Blitz in bed. Blitz only laughed and kissed Hearth softly before telling him to not worry about it and that Blitz would cook some breakfast for the both of them.

Hearth had been pacing around as Blitz cooked and as soon as he was finished eating he got up again, insisting that he did the dishes- which he had scrubbed at so harshly Blitz was surprised that he hadn’t worn a hole in them.

“What’s wrong?” Blitz asked, trying to make his signed as gentle as he could.

‘Nothing.’ Hearth bit the inside of his cheek, a clear sign that he was lying.

Blitz didn’t accuse him of lying, which would get him nowhere; he simply nodded and helped dry the dishes.

Hearth wouldn’t meet his gaze when Blitz insisted they relax and watch a movie. They didn’t get many days off, working and living at The Chase Space for the past year or so was a full-time gig, but Alex and Magnus had insisted that they get a retreat for the week while the two einherjar took over running the shelter. So at this moment, Blitz wanted nothing more than to just lie around in his (very fashionable) PJ’s and watch movies with his boyfriend.

When Blitz had gone to click on Brooklyn Nine-nine, the two’s go to binge watch show, Hearth tapped him lightly to get his attention.

‘Maybe later we watch that. I want something serious, with hard understanding plot and…” His hands paused as he stared into the middle distance searching for more to say, he couldn’t seem to find it. ‘Please.’

Blitz was perplexed, as far as he knew Hearth generally hated to watch things like that, he often complained about hard to follow plots and would normally always pick something light-hearted that had no dire consciences in the plot (such as the end of the world). But Blitz nodded and searched for something to watch.

“How about this?” He motioned towards the screen, which showed some drama series, the thumbnail featured an angry looking man looking into the camera, dark shadows wrapped around his face.

Hearth nodded enthusiastically, already curling up against Blitz, the Bluetooth headphone already turned up all the way and wrapped around his neck. While they annoyed Blitz a little, digging into him as Hearthstone used him as a living pillow- the look on Hearth’s face when he had first tried it at a suggestion of one of the members of his deaf support group, well Blitz would do anything to see that face. His mouth had fallen open in shock as the first notes of the opening music vibrated against his neck, a small squawking sound had left the mans throat in shock, and then he turned to Blitz with a look that was reminiscent of a kid on Christmas morning.

Blitz smiled fondly at the memory.

The two sat watching the movie, Blitz found himself struggling to keep up with the films convoluted plot (something to do about a terrorist organisation and a missing diamond, with a subplot of some random civilian guy that Blitz couldn’t see the importance of) and it was clear that Hearthstone wasn’t paying attention after the half and hour mark. He played with the fraying hem of his old t-shirt that Blitz wanted to throw in the trash as soon as the elf wouldn’t notice. Occasionally he would snuggle deeper into Blitz’s side as if trying to crawl under the dwarf skin ( in a totally adorable and not parasitic bug way)

A loud explosion appeared on the screen, the vibrations that played against Hearthstones neck forced him back into reality and realization. He was letting himself relax and thus, letting himself go into that headspace. He signed some half-hearted excuse and walked himself into the bathroom. Shoving his hands under steaming hot water flowing from the tap. He winced at the pain but kept his hands under the water. Why must his brain do this to him? He didn’t want to slip into that headspace; no he kept himself away at all costs and sometimes that meant putting himself in minor pain to keep himself present, at the right age.

He hadn’t noticed the dwarf following him until Blitz had gently placed a hand on his shoulder, causing the elf to nearly jump out of his skin.

“What’s wrong?” Blitz asked his eyes fixed intensely on Hearths face, which had scrunched up, as he fought with himself internally.

‘Nothing,’ Hearth signed sharply, ‘it’s nothing. You’ll hate me if I say. It’s nothing.’

Blitz raised an eyebrow. “It doesn’t sound like nothing.” After signing he turned the tap off, taking note of how green Hearth’s hands now were. “I could never hate you.” Enunciated every syllable and his signed were clear and precise. It wasn’t uncommon for either of them to be overtaken with insecurities, and just like Hearthstone did for him, Blitzen wasn’t going to let his elf think he was any less amazing then he was.

‘Weird.’ Hearths shoulders were slumped and he angrily swatted away tears that sprung from his eyes like a fast approaching storm. ‘Besides, cant sound like anything. I’m mute.’ He joked trying to… he didn’t even know what it he was trying to do. Everything was just becoming too complicated and anxiety buzzed under his skin like thousands of bees trying to escape.

“Tell me.” Blitz pressed, reaching up and wiping away a tear gently with his thumb, his knuckles brushing over Hearthstones face lightly,

Hearthstone let out a shaky breath, he was thankful that he didn’t need to speak out loud because, while he wasn't exactly sure what went exactly into making words happen, he felt like the hot thump in his throat would have helped. Although he supposed his shaking hands wouldn’t either.

‘Sometimes. My brain, it stops trying to be adult brain, it makes me.’ he hands paused mid-air as he tried to find a word for what he had began experiencing once his life wasn’t in danger every five minutes. ‘small.’

“You feel small?” Blitz eyebrows furrowed as he tried to understand.

‘Yes.’ Hearth refused to meet his eyes, ‘small like child… not like you.’ He hoped that maybe if he made a quip about the dwarf’s height then he would forget what he had just been told and this morning would just reset itself like the restore factory settings button on a phone.

“How old?” Blitz asked, ignoring the comment on his height.

‘Don’t know.’ Hearth shrugged, ‘young.’

Blitz nodded, the cogs of his brain turning quickly. He took Hearths hands gently, grimacing at the heat that radiated off them. Reaching towards his moisturizer on the sink he wordlessly rubbed some into Hearths slender hands, hoping the stupid elf hadn’t burnt himself too badly. Once this was finished, Blitz looked up at Hearthstones face, without the use of his hands to wipe away the tears they had dripped down his face. A whimper escaped his throat.

Blitz let go of Hearths hands and raised his own to sign, “you small now?”

Hearth didn’t respond, only ducking his head so low that his chin pressed against his chest and his face turned a bright shade of peridot. ‘Trying to not be.’

Blitz, ducked under Hearths lowered face, a small smile on his lips. “It’s okay to be. I am good at helping to look after small kids. If you are okay with me, I’d love to care for you.”

Hearth didn’t try to wipe away the tears that blurred his vision. His bit his lip and he nodded his head. He wanted that, very much. Blitz felt his heartbreak as Heath sunk to his knees and cried in earnest, an uncensored wail breaking free from his lips.

~~

After Hearth had calmed down, his eyes puffy, face flushed green and snot running down his nose. Blitz helped him to his feet, wiped his face with a wet cloth and walked him into the living room.

“How does –“ Blitz paused realizing that Hearth wasn’t looking at him, he tapped lightly on Hearth's knee and tried not to react when Hearth flinched. He started again, “How does this work?”

Hearth shrugged. ‘Don’t know; never let myself be like this. Scared.’

Blitz nodded understandingly, he tried to place himself in Hearth's shoes- if it was Blitz, who was feeling as if he were a child and not just in the inferior and stupid way that other dwarves made him feel, no in a literal actually feeling like a kid way. What would he want? He’d want Hearth to take control, he wouldn’t want to have to make decisions and feel like a burden. He’d want to feel loved and comforted.

So that's what Blitz would do.

‘Watch movie?’ Blitz asked, smiling softly. Hearth only shrugged but Blitz guessed that that would be the most of an affirmative answer he would get. He turned Netflix back on, but now switched off the annoyingly convoluted film and switched to the kid's section and put on one of Hearths favorite movies, Lilo and Stitch.

A smile graced Hearths lips as he slowly sunk into Blitz’s side apprehensively as if waiting for the dwarf to push him away. Blitzen wrapped his arms around the blondes lean form and pulled him into his chest if Hearth didn’t want to cuddle, he made no indication of that, basically melting into Blitz and sighing contently. When Blitz placed Hearths headphones around the elf’s neck he had looked up at him with a look of unrestrained awe. As if Blitz was a superhero and the best one in all the nine words for that matter. Blitz would be lying if he said he did not like that look.

As they watched the movie, Blitz felt the tension in Hearth’s body disappear. Blitz studied him thoughtfully, he did look younger somehow… or perhaps that was maybe just Blitz thinking he looked younger. He certainly was more expressive, while Blitz was one of the few people Hearth willingly let down his guard with he still wasn’t one to wear his heart on his sleeve. But there was something about the way the elves face lit up during his favorite scenes during the movie or the way he laughed at Stich’s antics, he just seemed to be expressing more of what he was feeling than usual.

By the end of the movie, Hearth was humming tunelessly to himself, Blitz had seen him do this a few times. Apparently, Hearth found the sensation interesting. Blitz was happy to see he wasn’t crying anymore.

~~

What was that demigod/hero saying? ‘don't say that anything should be easy because then it will go terribly wrong’? well, Blitz had forgotten one of his own, ‘never think about how the kid isn't crying because then the kid will start to cry.’ After a year of living in a mansion full of children you would think Blitz would have learned his lesson, but no. No, he had not.

Once the movie was finished, Blitz had gotten up to relieve himself in the bathroom, he had signed to Hearth he would be right back.

When he returned he found Hearth curled up in the fetal position on the couch, sobbing silently. He gave no answer when Blitz had asked him was was wrong, either too upset to form the signs or he didn’t see Blitz ask.

The dwarf scooped up the crying elf into his arms and held him close. Hearth pressed his face into Blitz’s neck, his arms wrapping so tightly around the man that Blitz thought that this might be close to what a mouse would feel when captured by a snake. But while a mouse would fear for its own wellbeing, Blitz only cared for Hearths.

He rubbed calming circles on Hearths back with one hand and petted the blonde hair with the other.

When Hearth ceased his sobbing, huffing and hiccupping against Blitz’s face Blitz pulled back just enough so he could make sure Hearth could see him sign one handily. “What wrong?”

Hearth, seeming to not want to let go of Blitz unwrapped one arm and fingerspelled G O N E

When Blitz raised an eyebrow in confusion Hearth tried again. B  G O N E   H   A L O N E