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Blake: Nahuel, this is a friend-tervention.
Nahuel: A what now?
Fran: It's where we each come up in turn and constructively deconstruct you.
Fran: Pointing out the thing you say and do...
Claudia: ...and are...
Fran: ...in the hopes of inspiring change.
Nahuel: That's a roast.
Blake: No, a friend-tervention.
Nahuel: That's a roast. You're all gonna roast me.
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Student: Professor Claudia, forgive me, I tried to stop her. But when I pleaded with her, she merely responded with—and pardon my French, no offense—
Nahuel: Some taken.
Student: —"Fuck the police." She then proceeded to tilt every painting she passed on the way here.
Blake: HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Claudia: (sigh) Oh God...walking through that hallway is going to give me such a headache now.
Claudia: What. Did you do?
Blake: Oh, alright. But you can't be mad at me.
Claudia: WHAT. DID YOU DO?
Blake: Okay, first... I was just minding my own business—
Claudia: (slams desk) BULLSHIT!
Blake: (whining) I waaaas!
Blake: Do you know what the question I’m asked most often is?
Maria: “Will you please leave the premises?”
Fran: If I punch myself and it hurts am I strong or weak?
Blake: you’re strong
Nahuel: you’re weak
Claudia: you’re stupid
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Blake: What are we gonna do?
Nahuel: Ah, what are you so worried about? You’re so small they probably won’t even see you.
Blake: Nahuel, is this really the time to be making short jokes?
Nahuel: Blake, it is never not the time because, just like you, life is short.
Nahuel: Read my thoughts.
Fran: I don't know how to do that.
Nahuel: Yes you do. Ready?
Fran: Fine...
Fran: Waffles.
Nahuel: My gosh, it's crazy. That's exactly what I was thinking. It was just a test? Ready?
Fran: ...
Fran: Still waffles.
Nahuel: Okay, one more time!
Blake, Veah, and Claudia:
Claudia: ... why are you gazing into each other's eyes?
Veah: Hey, how was your anniversary date?
Nahuel: Sweet, Fran was really nervous about giving me a gift. He acted like he hadn’t done it before.
Blake: Oh, what did he get you?
Nahuel: This beautiful ring. It even has a barcode engraved on it.
Veah: !!!
Blake: That’s amazing! What did you tell him!
Nahuel: I said thanks and nudged him.
Veah: ...
Blake: ...
Blake: Nahuel, you know what that ring symbolizes right?
Nahuel: What?
Blake: Remember when John gave me this?
Nahuel: Your engagement ring? Of course I d-
Veah: I can't believe you.
Nahuel: ...did I just tell Fran thanks after he…
Mr. Smith: Proposed? Yes you did.
Nahuel: ASDLFKHJASDLKGFHARG
Mr. Smith: You might want to call him.
(Somewhere else)
Claudia: I’m sure he's just being an idiot!
Fran: He said “thanks dude”
