#bladderspasmssuck

It’s been a good day, but also an emotional one, a tiring one, and a looong one. Expect updating tomorrow (or rather, later today!) all about my YA Hub hospice clinic today and our Squad outing tonight (yesterday now, I guess!). Right now I’m literally counting down the hours until I have my operation for Botox in my bladder... just 11 hours and 55 minutes (give or take a few hours/minutes) to go!! I’m so happy that I made it 😭 it’s finally B Day (Botox-in-my-bladder Day), and my pain and spasms will finally be made bearable again. It’s been 8 weeks of constant bladder spasms, constant agony, and utter misery, and I bloody ready for it to be over! Right now, ironically, my bladder spasms are causing me too much pain to sleep. I’ve just given in and taken my first lot of meds and done my first injection in the hopes things will calm down enough that I can grab 3 or 4 hours sleep before I have to get up. It’s gonna be another very long, busy and tiring day tomorrow! Hope y’all are getting more sleep than me 😂! #palliativecarewarrior #bladderspasmssuck #itsbday #botoxinmybladderday #thankfuckforthat👊 #trynasleep #knackered https://www.instagram.com/p/B4Q37X5BH4H/?igshid=1u159xbbmacn1

Palliative care person problems; I really wanna shave my legs today but my bladder spasms are causing body wide tremors (think of it as the bladder spasm is the earthquake, the tremors are aftershocks). How badly do I wanna shave 😂🙈?! Do I risk cutting my legs to shreds just to be hair free 😂🙈?! #palliativecareproblems #thatpalliativecarelife #bladderspasmssuck #tremorssuck #iwannashavemylegs #butlike #isitsafe #probablynottbh #lol https://www.instagram.com/p/B3CFJfdBoh_/?igshid=1cfqwzqytg6rr

Good morning ☀️ lovely people! Guess who couldn’t sleep because she’s having such bad bladder spasms that they’re making her bladder bleed? Yup, it’s me! HOW DID YOU KNOW?! So yeah, I got about 3-4 hours sleep before I just straight up gave up on tryna snooze. I’ve started reading an excellent new book, done some catching up on my blogging/social media stuff, replied to some work emails, listened to some new tunes, messaged some fellow insomniacs, and I’ve made and eaten a lovely healthy cooked breakfast (cauliflower hash browns, which are just cauliflower and potatoes and are GF, GF sausages, and some yummy veggies), and had some very strong coffee ☕️ so yeah, I’m ready to go 💪🏻! Today I’ve got another hero/angel/incredible friend driving up to Cardiff from Swansea, then driving back to Swansea, the dropping me back to Cardiff, then driving home. She’s even taking me to get my eyebrows done (which probably seems really silly and should be the last of my priorities, but it’s the only beauty related thing I pay someone else to do and I have very Frida Kahlo eyebrows when they’re left to their own devices, which is fine if you like that look, but I need groomed eyebrows to feel like me! So this is genuinely a big help 💖) before I head to mammy and daddy’s house (because mum was allowed we’d home yesterday 😁🙌🏻🎉!!!) to check they’re both behaving (probably not; I’m prepared to yell at those bitches!) and help organise things (pitting up meds, sorting laundry, doing anything they need a hand with that I can manage basically). Now that mum’s home, mum and dad are actually gonna need more help; I’m ready to do this 💪🏻! I’m final repaying them for 24 years of them doing exactly the same for me. Gonna dye my hair whilst I’m there too! It’s gonna be a busy day, but a good day. I can’t wait to see my mummy and daddy and give them a big cwtch 💖 and I’m genuinely excited to see my old carer and good family friend @bethan_williamsx for the first time in ages, although obviously I wish it was under better circumstances. So yeah, happy Wednesday ☀️🌻🌈🎉!! #happytuesday #goodmorning #bladderspasmssuck #whoneedssleepanyway #sleepisfortheweak #todaysgonnabebusy https://www.instagram.com/p/B20nzJ_BREA/?igshid=14xdt5423p9d5

‪The TENNS machine is officially out... y’all know what that means!! Yup, my Botox in my bladder has worn off!! That means I get agonising pain, horrible spasms, and absolutely NO SLEEP!‬ ‪This is a very shitty lottery prize, as they go 🙃‬ #bladderspasmssuck #painsucks #sotired (at Cardiff) https://www.instagram.com/p/By86suWBRk1/?igshid=ww8shbmf4td

Can’t sleep 😭 got awful pain from bladder spasms. #bladderspasmssuck #painsucks #palliativecarewarrior https://www.instagram.com/p/By6XUunh27e/?igshid=zmarjk7sw70s

Good morning! We’re just stopping by subway to pick up a salad for later and then we’re headed to Neath Port Talbot Hospital for me to have my Botox in my bladder; IT’S FINALLY B DAY GUYS!! No more bladder spasms! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 #botoxinmybladderday #itsbday #botoxday #mybladdersucksatbeingabladder #bladderspasmssuck #goodbyebladderspasms #palliativecarewarrior #goodmorning (at Cardiff) https://www.instagram.com/p/BvjFLRdn9ln/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=gjuatil96kjs

In really bad pain because of my bladder spasms, and I’ve got 10 whole days before B Day, AKA Botox In My Bladder Day. I’m waiting for the Palliative care team to get in touch today so they can sort out my pain relief. But just to really make my fucking day (Not), I’ve got a kidney infection. I’ve only been off my antibiotics for a week, and I’ve got another infection. I’ve spoken to my lovely lead GP, and she’s really worried about me. In her opinion (and my mum’s, and frankly, mine) the Hiprex, my supposed wonder drug, is doing fuck all. And these infections are just making me really poorly. This time around I’m only showing as responsive to three antibiotics, and I’m bloody allergic to one, and the GP thinks I’m semi resistant to another... so that leaves one to try and treat this infection, or I’ll end up in hospital back on Gensimithine. Feel very lucky I’ve got such a great medical team looking after me, but I’m really, really fucking pissed off with my shitty body today. #putanoutoforderstickeronmyforehead #kidneyinfectionssuck #bladderspasmssuck #impissedoffyall