#blackwalll

Chapter 1 (Leliana): https://for-the-dales.tumblr.com/post/185692342364/the-path-forward-chapter-1-leliana

       The old Warden sat on a rock staring out at the ragtag camp shivering in the snow and sharpened his sword. He had been doing this for the past hour.

       The survivors of the attack milled around the camp trying to stay busy, but no one really knew what to do one minute to the next. No one knew what to do past the next few hours either.

       It was a mess.

       The temperature was falling with the sun but Blackwall barely noticed. He knew he should be down there trying to help the others, but if he was honest with himself he didn’t know if he had really processed what had happened either.

       The Herald of Andraste, the greatest hope for saving Thedas, was dead.

        When she had burst into the Chantry carrying a wounded Flissa, Blackwall had allowed himself to hope that they would all find a way out of this mess. Her armor was scorched and she had a nasty cut on her forehead, but she was alive. He had been gathering up the children to make sure they were all accounted for when he saw Cullen approach her. Blackwall couldn’t hear what they were saying and the little dwarven girl, Felicity, was tugging on his armor and crying. Blackwall turned away from the Herald a moment to comfort the child before turning back to watch what was happening at the front of the Chantry.

       He saw Lady Lavellan’s face fall and his blood ran cold.

       It only lasted a moment before she set her face again with a look of determination. She said a few more things to Cullen before she turned and started walking towards the door again. Cullen said called after her and Blackwall ran after them. She stopped just short of the door before turning to Cullen and saying, “I’m not going to ask anyone to come with me.”

       Blackwall didn’t know what the mission was, but he was ready, “Then it’s a good thing you don’t have to ask my lady. What’s the plan?”

       Lady Lavellan’s eyes softened as she looked at the grizzled old warrior, “I appreciate the offer Ser Blackwall, but you don’t have to come with me on this one.”

       Bull and Sera approached then and Bull asked, “Come where? You got a plan to get out of this mess boss?”

       Lady Lavellan’s eyes scanned the three of them sadly with a set line in her mouth before nodding, “There is a way to evacuate everyone in the Chantry.”

       “Great!” barked Sera, “What are we waiting for? Let’s get going!”

       Lady Lavellan sighed and smiled sadly, “Someone needs to buy time. It’ll very likely be a one way trip.”

       The small gathering went quiet and Cullen stared at the ground with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips in a harsh line. Blackwall began to open his mouth when Sera interrupted, “I said what I said. What are we waitin' for?”

       The younger elf stood as tall as she could and put her fists on her hips, but Blackwall could see them shaking slightly. Lady Lavellan could see it too and for a moment it looked like she might cry. Bull looked over Sera’s head to Blackwall and nodded, and Blackwall nodded back.

       Suddenly Blackwall hear Sahren call out behind him, “Raj’ha’haren, what’s the plan?”

       Sahren marched up to them with Rasa as his shadow. Lady Lavellan’s face went hard as stone and she took a moment before saying in a firm voice, “We have a plan to hold off the dragon, but I need the two of you to help Commander Cullen evacuate the civilians. We’ll catch up to you.”

       Sahren nodded like the good soldier he was, but his twin scrutinized their mentor’s face. Lady Lavellan turned away before Rasa could decipher anything. Blackwall understood worrying about everyone serving under you knowing everything, he also knew she was making a mistake.

       Not that Blackwall had a leg to stand on when it came to leadership.

       Sahren turned on his heel, pulling his twin with him. Lady Lavellan nodded and said, “Right, we don’t have any time to waste.” She turned to Commander Cullen, “Are you ready to move out.”

       Cullen gave a curt nod, “Yes my lady.”

       “Good, you’d best get going. It’s best if you slip out quietly I think.”

       Blackwall saw Solas out of the corner of his eyes watching the small party intently before turning and walking away. Blackwall went to get his gear when Felicity caught his eye and smiled. Blackwall smiled back and waved before donning his sword and shield. She made a funny face at the old soldier and he crossed his eyes. The child giggled as she was dragged away by an older woman trying to corral all the children.

       Blackwall decided he was comfortable with dying today. He would be following a worthy commander for once in his life. He would be saving those children.

       He would be doing something right.

       He joined the others at the entrance of the Chantry. Bull was discussing tactics with Lay Lavellan and Sera was checking her arrows. He knew it was what she did when she was nervous. He lowered his voice further and said, “You know, I think you’ll earn a beard for this.”

       Sera looked confused for a moment before barking out a laugh, “Yeah? You gonna give me one of yours?”

       “I may,” Blackwall said seriously, “but just the one.”

       Sera laugh again as Lady Lavellan approached them asking, “Ready?”

       Sera grew quiet and bobbed her head. Lady Lavellan looked at Blackwall and he nodded sharply. The Herald nodded back at the two of them and said, “Well then. Let’s get going.”

       She pulled out her staff and Bull pulled out his massive cleaver and set his shoulder against the door.

       “Okay,” The qunari said, “I’m gonna open this door, the boss is gonna blast whatever is outside back as far as she can, then Blackwall needs to take point and keep them back while the boss and Sera get through the door. After that I’ll get the door closed which Cullen will barricade behind us. Then I’ll cover the boss’s right and Blackwall you’ll cover her left. Sera, you provide support and make sure we don’t get surprised by anything. We need to get to the trebuchet that’s still standing and hurl something big and heavy at the mountain. Everyone got that?”

       Everyone nodded. Blackwall noticed that Cassandra had gotten most of the people out of the main hall and was arguing with Cullen. They both looked up and Cullen nodded while Cassandra’s face fell in horror. Cullen must have just filled her in, he was holding Cassandra’s arm.

       Lady Lavellan commanded quickly, “Bull now.”

       Bull heaved the door open and everything began to move much faster. Fire erupted from Lady Lavellan’s staff, throwing back the few red templars patrolling past the door. Blackwall charged forward and slammed his shield into a knight that had kept his footing. He heard Lady Lavellan and Sera run out behind him and he saw vines spring from the ground and hold down a footsoldier still on the ground as an arrow struck the head of another starting to get up. The heavy wooden doors slammed shut behind them and Blackwall could faintly hear Cassandra yelling angrily on the other side of them, but they were drowned out by the screams of the footsoldier being held down as Bull’s axe came down across his torso.

       The four of them slowly worked their way through Haven and towards the trebuchet, but the soldiers never seemed to stop coming. A group of four knights jumped over a section of crumpled wall, cutting them off. He glanced to his right and saw the grim set of Bull’s face. Lady Lavellan began to cast a barrier spell to try and give them all an edge.

       Blackwall hadn’t seen the shadow warrior coming up behind the Herald.

       Everything seemed to slow as he saw the creature bring up it’s twin blades right behind her. Blackwall wasn’t close enough to do anything and Sera hadn’t noticed it. Blackwall cried out for her to look out, but then the creature froze.

       Lady Lavellan turned quickly and was greeted by an icy blade less than an inch from her face. Then the knight furthest back in the group crumpled to the ground without warning.

       Rasa stood behind him with their bloody knives drawn and mockingly bowed to their mentor before spinning away towards the next knight. Sera and Bull jumped back in to help the rogue. Solas strolled up next to Lady Lavellan and twisting his staff in a precise movement, shattering the shadow.

       Solas smiled at the other elf, “I didn’t think you’d want them coming on their own. I convinced Sahren to go ahead to rondevu point.”

       “You convinced Sahren to do something?” Lady Lavellan asked, smiling back.

       “I can be very charming.”

       Lady Lavellan smiled at him in a way that made Blackwall feel like he was prying. He turned back to the battle and helped Rasa bring down a knight. He felt heat behind him and turned to see Lady Lavellan torching the last one while Solas kept it down with some unseen force.

       Blackwall huffed behind them, “Phew, smells like Sera’s cooking.”

       Sera held her nose, “Ugh, it does.”

       Rasa glided up to Lady Lavellan’s other side and bumped her shoulder lightly. Lady Lavellan turned to them and murmured to them so quietly Blackwall could barely hear her, “You do what I say, when I say.”

       Rasa nodded curtly.

       The party continued forward to the trebuchet. When they arrived it was blessedly clear of enemies. There was already a stone loaded into the contraption.

       There were a lot of dead soldiers around its base.

       Lady Lavellan stared at the young faces. The oldest was the furthest out, likely having led the charge to defend the trebuchet. At the base was a boy who couldn’t have been older than fourteen. His unblemished sword lay near him. His face was frozen in agony.

       Blackwall laid a hand on the Herald’s shoulder, “There’s nothing you can do for them now. But we can still help those they loved.”

       Lady Lavellan nodded and strode forward to the trebuchet and Blackwall followed. The others set up a defensive line around the perimeter in case any more templars appeared. Lady Lavellan grunted in effort as she pushed against the large wheel to turn the trebuchet. She was a strong woman, but mages rarely had cause to build physical strength.

       Blackwall whispered softly next to her, “If I may be of assistance Herald?”

       Lady Lavellan looked up at him and smiled before nodding. Blackwall took position next to her and began to turn the wheel with her. A few templar stragglers approached while they worked, but they were nothing that the others couldn’t handle. When the massive machine was finally aimed Blackwall took a step back to look at the mountain it would hit. The bright and cold snow stared down at him, and for the first time since he had walked out of the Chantry this evening Blackwall felt a little fear crawl up his spine.

       Lady Lavellan stared with him for a moment before turning to address the others, “All right, I’m going fire this and then we run. If we move fast enough we should be able to reach the Chantry and get into the hidden tunnel before the avalanche reaches us. Be ready to move. Leave anything weighing you down here if you can live without it.”

       The others nodded and began to prepare themselves. Blackwall removed his shield and placed it on the body of the young boy. Blackwall knew what the odds were of them all reaching the Chantry in time, but the Herald had a way of speaking with confidence that made it sound more likely than it really was. She believed they would make, so he would believe her.

       The Herald still stood next to him and spoke to him quietly so the others wouldn’t hear, “Blackwall, I need you to do something for me.”

       “Anything my lady.” Blackwall responded, meaning it with every bone in his body.

       “I need you to stay with Rasa, make sure they make it to the Chantry. No matter what else happens. Can you do that?”

       Blackwall studied the woman in front of him, seeing uncharacteristic fear on her face. Anyone else, Blackwall included, would have felt fear first and foremost for themselves. But not her.

       Never her.

       No, she feared for the safety of her companion, the rogue Blackwall suspected she looked at as her own child. The warrior remembered another time he saw that fear in a woman’s eyes.

       When he had been the cause.

       The boundless guilt of his past crept through him and gripped his heart like a claw. He swallowed hard and nodded, “I will protect them with my life.”

       Lady Lavellan smiled softly and looked just a little bit lighter than she had a moment before and grip on his heart loosened slightly. He would do this for her.

       Blackwall watched her walk up the platform to inspect the winch before he turned to join the others. Rasa waited impatiently furthest out, their eyes scanning the tree line for any enemies that may approach. There was still an army marching towards them.

       Blackwall coughed to announce his presence, “We should stay with the others Ser.”

       Rasa scanned the treeline one more time before turning back and nodding. Blackwall waited for them to walk past him before following. They rejoined the others where Iron Bull and Solas were discussing the best possible routes back to the Chantry while Sera nervously paced back and forth. Rasa walked far more casually than the situation warranted up to Sera and rocked back on their heels. Sera glanced at the other rogue curiously.

       Rasa leaned over to Sera and said, “Ten gold says I can beat you back to the Chantry.”

       Blackwall groaned and Sera barked out a laugh, Iron Bull scoffed and said, “Those are rookie odds. I bet forty Sera wins.”

       “Oi!” Sera shouted, “What’s my share of that?”

       “Half of course.”

       Sera shrugged, “I suppose, it’s not like your fat arse could really compete anyway.”

       “Hey, my fat ass has pulled you out plenty of tight spots.”

       Blackwall couldn’t help but grin. He glanced over at Solas and his grin fell. The oldest elf in their company didn’t smile or laugh. He hadn’t chosen to forget the real stakes.

       No one heard the roar before it was too late.

       The massive black and red beast crashed into the ground with such force Blackwall was thrown back against one of the remaining walls surrounding Haven. As soon as his vision cleared he searched for the others. Iron Bull was helping up Sera and Solas stood next to them. Rasa had fallen next to them and Blackwall ran to help them up. He glanced around and realized one of their company was missing.

       The Herald.

       His head whipped over to where the trebuchet still stood.

       On the other side of the dragon.

       Lady Lavellan caught his eye. She looked a little shaken, but uninjured. Her eyes slid from him to the elf he was holding up and her eyes widened. Blackwall couldn’t hear her over the roar of the dragon and the ringing in his ears but sudden determination in her eyes and her mouthed word made her orders clear.

       Run.

       Rasa could barely stand but tried to fall forward toward the Herald and cried out, “Mae!”

       For the briefest of moments Blackwall could see Lady Lavellan’s eyes shine and crinkle before his view was obstructed by the beast. Time seemed to slow as he came to his decision. He grabbed the rogue and tossed them over his shoulder. He looked at Iron Bull whose eye was tight as he nodded. He pulled Sera along as she yelled and spat at him. Solas didn’t look at him and just stared at the dragon. His mouth was slightly open as his eyes flitted around, his fingers tightening and loosening. It was likely only seconds had passed, but it felt like hours before Solas finally turned and followed after Iron Bull with Blackwall tailing him. Rasa was still screeching and beating at him, but their likely broken leg kept them from wriggling too much.

       Blackwall heard another voice for the briefest moment on the other side of the dragon before he was out of earshot. When the group reached the top of the hill just outside the Chantry doors they heard the trebuchet fire. Blackwall spared a moment to turn and watch the boulder hit the mountain side.

       Exactly where he and the Herald had planned for it to go.

       The snow began to slide down the slope and the sight spurred him to move again. Solas had opened the doors and slammed them shut as soon as Blackwall and Iron Bull had gotten the other elves through. The rest of the journey to catch up with the rest of the Inquisition was silent. Blackwall still had to carry Rasa but the rogue had gone startling silent. Sera had screamed and yelled for a while before she too seemed to run out of energy.

       They were all alone to grapple with what they had done.

       Blackwall had to grapple with what he had done.

       He had left Andraste’s Herald to die.

       He had abandoned her.

       He looked down at Rasa in his arms and tried to remember that she had asked him to keep them safe. He had just been keeping his promise.

       That didn’t make the guilt’s vice grip on his heart loosen.

       Now he sat on a rock overlooking the camp, as useless as he had been when the dragon showed up. He should have given Rasa to Iron Bull and gone to defend her. As time passed and the panic settled he had more time to think of everything he should have done. Every other better path he could have taken.

       How many great people’s deaths would he be responsible for before his own end.

       Blackwall buried his head in his head in his head and let himself sob for the first time in a long time. He thought this time would be different. She had been everything a leader should be. Kind, brave, clever, and wise. Too many had one of those traits, and too few had all. She had put her faith in him and he had found her deserving of his. She could have accomplished great things, changed the world.

       And he had let her die.

       Suddenly there were shouts from the camp below. Blackwall looked up and saw a group run up to a few people emerging from the gap in the mountain they had made their camp against. Blackwall squinted to see and saw it was Commander Cullen and Seeker Pentaghast, and the commander seemed to be carrying something.

       Someone.

The person’s hand rested on their stomach and Blackwall's heart seized when he saw the slightest flicker of green from it.

       Blackwall fell to his news and clasped his hands.

       “Blessed Andraste, I know I have not been as faithful as I should, but if you allow your Herald to live I swear to you I will follow wherever she leads. The coldest of mountains to the most blight ridden deserts. Only death will take me from her side. I will be her counsel and her guard. You have my oath in this.”

       Blackwall paused and whispered the last part of his prayer, “Please just let her live, let her finish her work.”

Elvhen used

Mae- shortened term for mother

Hey everyone! Thanks for being patient. I was traveling for the holidays and didn't have time to finish this chapter up until yesterday. Also anyone who was excited to read the beginning of my edits (I know I was), the first two chapters have gone through edits. They aren't major plot edits, I just think they read better now. Big thank you to my editor, my brother, who works full time and is still working through this fic slowly and being very supportive. Next chapter is our last companion chapter (Cole) and then we get to Ellana! I'm really excited y'all.

I sat on it forever, and didn’t really change much of it in the end. Blackwall Capricorn zodiac card.

Others in the set:

She needs it more than ever right now. Blackwall...Thom...whoever he is...is in the dungeons right now, awaiting her judgement. She wishes she had an answer wholeheartedly to give, and yet...she loves him but she is angry at how he handled things; she is appalled by what he did in the past but knows what he has done since has redeemed him. Contradictions on contradictions. And in the midst of it all, she feels...

“Cold.”

The word from behind her startles her, almost jars her from her precarious perch on the edge of a rampart. She looks over her shoulder, sees Cole watching her, pale eyes troubled under the brim of his hat. “What?”

“You feel cold. The place where he warmed you, ember in a fire...the ember has gone cold.” Cole clambers up to sit next to her, moving as deftly as any elf. He barely seems to notice what his body is doing. 

She tries to smile, doesn’t quite manage it. “Something like that.”

He looks at her earnestly. “Can I help?”

“No,” she says softly. “Nothing can help. I just have to...ride it out...”

Cole frowns, his eyebrows knitting in concentration. “He healed you, held you...felled you in a heartbeat...you hate and love him, both in a breath...”

Adi shakes her head slightly. “I want things back the way they were,” she says petulantly. “If it even meant anything...”

Cole is quiet a while, when he speaks again it is distant, as if addressing someone beyond her. “He has torn tears from himself in the memory of what she is; clutched in his hands, she throws light over the shadows at his heels.”

Adi chuckles in spite of herself. “Very poetic.”

He smiles. “Perhaps the Seeker sways you, finding poetry in truth.”

“Is it truth, then?” Of course she knows it is. She knows what she shared with Blackwall was real. Whoever he might have been before, what they found in each other had been different. It had been right.

“You ask when you know the answer,” Cole says, and for a moment she could swear he is teasing her. “Do the words help?”

She looks at him sideways, nods. “Yes. The words help.”